I’m not imagining things, am I?

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

Hi. OP here.

Nothing new to report but I do have screen pics of his internet history from yesterday and today. Can any of web sleuths give me your opinions of what they could be indicating?

Thanks so much!

P.S. Still no news regarding the heloc. He said that I’d need to be there to sign something, so Im assuming that there really isn’t any news yet.

 

[robinb]

OP, last night I was rethinking things. I was thinking that maybe he's just a day trader and I felt bad that I mentioned it might be a scam. But then, you posted more receipts ...

(1) He's logging into his Exness Pro account. One of the things I noticed today is the ".lat" domain. That's the website ending for websites in Latin America and not in the US. I actually went to the website and got this message on my screen:

Warning!
In accordance with our internal rules, we do not provide services to individuals who are residents or legal entities based in the United States of America.

If the above message is shown in error or if you are not a resident of the United States of America, you may proceed accordingly.
I confirm that I am not a resident of the United States of America

So ... he's breaking the company's policy here. He must be using a proxy server to get there and log in. I'm not sure how he expects to get his money out of the company.

(2) Not sure about the "rate limited proxy server" thing is. I googled that and it seems to be a method to limit the number of inbound requests into a server. I'm not sure how that fits in unless he's in IT.

(3) Not sure about "anrad.com" and "anead.com". Can't find either one.

(4) A "Two-Way Quote" is a trading strategy (I believe) an investor puts out a "call" (which is an offer to buy) and a "put" (which is an offer to sell) at the same time. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/t/twowayquote.asp


(5) He wants someone (you?) to think he's "calm, cool and collected" while he's playing with fire in the Crypto or Day Trading market but he can't figure out if it's "collected" or "collective".

(6) He's still looking at golfing in SF.

(7) He's brushing up on "love languages".

(8) He's going to Weibo, which is Chinese Twitter.

Unfortunately, this still smells like a scam to me. He's investing using a trading platform that is not licensed or regulated in the US. Exness is a Forex (Foreign Exchange) trading platform that is licensed in other places, just not in the US. There are other Forex trading platforms that he could choose from that are available in he US but someone told him to go with Exness, a company that he may have problems getting his money from because he shouldn't be trading on their platform. I also still think he's dabbling in Crypto there. Lastly, logging onto Weibo is a giant "What the Heck?!?" from me. What would a (I assume) non Chinese speaking person want a Weibo account? Any reason I come up with in my brain is nefarious.

 

[robinb]

Do not, under any circumstance, sign the HELOC.

 

[sam_gordon]

Did the lawyer you talked to a week ago not give you any advice?

 

[LuvOrlando]

OP, do you have any idea what bank it is he is trying to get the loan from? If you do know there is nothing stopping you from calling and saying whatever is in the works you aren't in agreement. Looks like it might be Bank of America so I'd call and ask to speak to a manager & share if they have anything in there you are not on board.

I also wonder if he made a lot of money in crypto if he is trying to flee the US to avoid paying taxes on it? If so you can be stuck and they take your home, tax liens are very serious.

Do call IRS and ask them your tax status, as in, is everything up to date and paid in full. Do start filing separately, do not trust him with tax reporting, he is up to something and it seems very shady.

Maybe check your credit history to see if he already created debt in your name, this is free and should give you a list of everything https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action. Maybe get him in a room with you and see if he will look up his own Social and share the results.

 

[Karin1984]

Ok, him googling the 5 love languages is a weird one in this story. What happened Thursday morning (or Wednesday evening) that make him google that?

 

[TipsyTraveler]

OP, last night I was rethinking things. I was thinking that maybe he's just a day trader and I felt bad that I mentioned it might be a scam. But then, you posted more receipts ...

(1) He's logging into his Exness Pro account. One of the things I noticed today is the ".lat" domain. That's the website ending for websites in Latin America and not in the US. I actually went to the website and got this message on my screen:



So ... he's breaking the company's policy here. He must be using a proxy server to get there and log in. I'm not sure how he expects to get his money out of the company.

(2) Not sure about the "rate limited proxy server" thing is. I googled that and it seems to be a method to limit the number of inbound requests into a server. I'm not sure how that fits in unless he's in IT.

(3) Not sure about "anrad.com" and "anead.com". Can't find either one.

(4) A "Two-Way Quote" is a trading strategy (I believe) an investor puts out a "call" (which is an offer to buy) and a "put" (which is an offer to sell) at the same time. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/t/twowayquote.asp


(5) He wants someone (you?) to think he's "calm, cool and collected" while he's playing with fire in the Crypto or Day Trading market but he can't figure out if it's "collected" or "collective".

(6) He's still looking at golfing in SF.

(7) He's brushing up on "love languages".

(8) He's going to Weibo, which is Chinese Twitter.

Unfortunately, this still smells like a scam to me. He's investing using a trading platform that is not licensed or regulated in the US. Exness is a Forex (Foreign Exchange) trading platform that is licensed in other places, just not in the US. There are other Forex trading platforms that he could choose from that are available in he US but someone told him to go with Exness, a company that he may have problems getting his money from because he shouldn't be trading on their platform. I also still think he's dabbling in Crypto there. Lastly, logging onto Weibo is a giant "What the Heck?!?" from me. What would a (I assume) non Chinese speaking person want a Weibo account? Any reason I come up with in my brain is nefarious.

You can translate Weibo into English by changing the language setting. Perhaps he was communicating with Baolin Xia over Weibo.

 

[gottalovepluto]

Ok, him googling the 5 love languages is a weird one in this story. What happened Thursday morning (or Wednesday evening) that make him google that?

I want to say he was getting ready to try to get back into OP's good graces so she'll sign the HELOC, but the weibo bit is potentially concerning. Maybe he doesn't have a weibo account and just clicked on an ad that led there.

 

[gottalovepluto]

Hi. OP here.

Nothing new to report but I do have screen pics of his internet history from yesterday and today. Can any of web sleuths give me your opinions of what they could be indicating?

Thanks so much!

P.S. Still no news regarding the heloc. He said that I’d need to be there to sign something, so Im assuming that there really isn’t any news yet.

Do you have investment/retirement accounts in your name? Please make sure you set alerts on those accounts that will be emailed or texted to you for any activity at all including asset transfers.

As you can see from the investopedia article @robinb linked a two way quote is just a way to see a stock or option quoted. It will be like Stock XYZ: Bid $40, Ask $42. The bid ask spread there is $2. Traders want to see that instead of just last trades as it gives a sense of supply/demand and liquidity. It's not a particularly advanced thing, it's rather 101 for traders. Your problem is the next search. This two-way options strategy is very advanced, it looks to be selling a call and selling a put on the same security. Nobody should jump from "two way quote" to that. He might not even have permissions or the necessary liquidity in his trading accounts for those as they require higher options approval levels at a normal American brokerage firm due to their risk- or he could have already done something like this and be under a margin call which would be very bad but you would see signs on your credit reports if it got real bad.

Selling naked options (when you don't have the stock/money in the account to cover your potential loses) are high risk options trades- even for stocks, which aren't nearly as volatile as crypto. 101 on options in case you don't know: in the stock world one option contract is worth 100 shares of stock, don't know how it works in crypto. Selling a call means you sell someone the right (but not the obligation) to buy a stock from you at the call's strike price by the expiration date. There is unlimited risk if you don't own the stock because if the buyer exercises it you have to buy it at whatever the market price is (call strike price $60, stock goes to $100 and you get executed: you spend $100,000 buying something you have to sell to them for $60,000 resulting in a $40,000 loss). Selling a put means you sell someone the right (but not the obligation) to make you buy a stock from them at the put's strike price by the expiration date. The max risk here is the strike price (put strike price $60, stock goes to $0 you spend $60,000 buying stock from them worth $0). There is no "I can't afford to exercise it" option on these. You MUST perform. If you don't have the money/stock in the account when your broker gets the order to exercise your option, you will face a margin call from your broker. If you don't meet it they will liquidate and seize the assets in your account without your approval. If you still owe the broker money it will become unsecured debt that is in default. You're married, his debt would be your debt.

Sorry to be so long and wordy but I hope it kinda helps you wrap your mind around what he might be playing at or considering. Not only could he lose the HELOC money, he could lose your house if you aren't in a state that protects your house from creditors.

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

OP here

Thank you for all of the information and explanations. Its all very, very helpful.

I have checked on my credit (and my son’s) and nothing is out of line. I can probably also check my husband’s credit.

Not much over the weekend because we had family events to attend.

Here are pictures of his interest history for the last few days.

One last thing. On Friday I asked him for all of the passwords to his new checking accounts and he gave them to me. I logged in to them and there is nothing at all, except for purchases he’s made for the household. Then again, these are only the accounts that I’m aware of. Who knows what I don’t know.

 

[Karin1984]

The phone number is in Columbus Ohio, does that ring a bell? (I would so call the number to find out who answers)

 

[LuvOrlando]

At this point he is likely completely on to you so if you want any truth you will need to go back in time not current.

Have you made the Dr apt, no need to reveal that sort of thing on here but do get yourself tested? Some things are fine and treatable for a long time but then go very wrong.

Call the IRS and just tell them you are doing a wellness check, if you are lucky your records are joint and you can see everything... well filing jointly is only lucky if all is well. This year I had to give all our teeny tiny Doge account info that we closed to our CPA so I suspect you can find records if he has been appropriately transparent, at least if he has been so up until April. If he has not been transparent you will know what threads to pull on if things go bad.

 

[wenrob]

Have you contacted the bank and told them you want no part of this loan?

It looks like he’s looking to “get rich quick.” There just is no such thing. IMO he’s playing a dangerous game. I don’t know that I could keep my mouth shut.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

At this point, he'll probably be using an incognito browser or even Tor to hide his activities. Be aware of that.

 

[tzolkin]

At this point, he'll probably be using an incognito browser or even Tor to hide his activities. Be aware of that.

Yeah, I can't believe he hasn't at least started clearing his browsing history.

 

[lifesavacation]

I'm sorry you're going through this. There is a lot going on here. In the nicest possible way, please get the help of a mental health professional to help you work through all this. You do seem to be in an extremely vulnerable position and that worries me for you and your dependent child.

Please don't sign the loan paperwork. You are risking your home if you do. There isn't an answer he can give you that should make you feel comfortable signing the paperwork. Someone needs to help you do a financial deep dive. I would immediate separate and protect all my finances.

 

[robinb]

My take on this is "more of the same". He's still looking into (possibly already) trading in Crypto. He's also looking at other Crypto platform (Kraken) now, so maybe he hadn't pulled the trigger quite yet. I agree with wenrob, he's trying to get rich quick, possibly at the behest of a scammer. I am so sorry you're going through this.

Before you talk to him about this, remove your posts (edit and leave just a period) and let us know. I'll remove my posts too. You can also ask a moderator to "poof" your whole thread. They will sometimes do it for people. The last think you want is for him to find out you've been posting his google history. That will give him moral high ground he doesn't deserve.

 

[RedHead0186]

OP, I hope you are still seeking out the advice of legal counsel. It's great that people here are giving you some insight into his search history, but keep in mind that none of us here know you, your husband, or the full set of circumstances. And everyone is going to bring their own slant/background/perspective/etc. into it-I don't mean that as a slam towards anyone, but we are all human and that's what we do-use our own experiences to fill in gaps, which can lead to assumptions and we all know how that goes.

So please make sure you are also seeking help from professionals-people who can really get to understand the full situation (and know what questions to ask to get the full picture).

 

[sam_gordon]

Your DH hasn't noticed you taking pictures of his phone's internet history?

 

[wenrob]

Your DH hasn't noticed you taking pictures of his phone's internet history?

Some people are hyper aware and some are completely oblivious. You can copy and paste a screenshot on an iPhone (not sure about other phone models) and a photo will never enter the camera roll.