How would you have handle this?

[Carly_Roach]

Yesterday, my uncle who I'm going to guess is close to 50 who all of sudden said he wanted to go first in the line he didn't want any of the kids touching silverware or the kids to breating on the food he might have ate I kinda of took that personal I wasn't the only one with kids there but it still kinda of hurt my feelings.

There has GOT to be more to the story here. I'm suspecting that, with all the media hype about H1N1, he's worried about the kids spreading germs. If not that, then perhaps something happened at a previous engagement where the kids (any kids, not just yours) messed up a buffet and he had to deal with the aftermath. He probably didn't want to have to deal with that again this year; especially at Thanksgiving.

Don't take it personally. It's his problem, not yours. Unless he's taking 1/2 of everything on the table, there was probably plenty to go around after he served himself.

Was he joking with you? I don't know how I would of taken that, I fly off the handle easy so I might of said something to the effect " you would be better off going home and eating and dont let the door hit you in the A__

Comments like that are exactly why people don't want to celebrate holidays with other people.

If a cousin or relative with kids had made that kind of rude comment to another family member within my earshot, that would have been the absolute last time I would have wasted my holiday time with that person and their precious family. The same can be said of my family as well. We were raised to respect our elders, even if we didn't agree with them.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Kids are big spreaders of germs. You can have H1N1 and be contagious for a day or so before showing any symptoms. He was actually be very smart.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I make all of my kids plates at family functions, but I ask if I can go first because I have three plates to make. I'm afriad my kids will touch the food with their hands...

 

[clovergirl5]

There has GOT to be more to the story here. I'm suspecting that, with all the media hype about H1N1, he's worried about the kids spreading germs. If not that, then perhaps something happened at a previous engagement where the kids (any kids, not just yours) messed up a buffet and he had to deal with the aftermath. He probably didn't want to have to deal with that again this year; especially at Thanksgiving.

Don't take it personally. It's his problem, not yours. Unless he's taking 1/2 of everything on the table, there was probably plenty to go around after he served himself.
Comments like that are exactly why people don't want to celebrate holidays with other people.

If a cousin or relative with kids had made that kind of rude comment to another family member within my earshot, that would have been the absolute last time I would have wasted my holiday time with that person and their precious family. The same can be said of my family as well. We were raised to respect our elders, even if we didn't agree with them.

Can you imagine if someone did this...what do you say?

 

[Carly_Roach]

Can you imagine if someone did this...what do you say?

I'd probably ask if anyone knew of any open pizza places that delivered.

 

[clovergirl5]

I make all of my kids plates at family functions, but I ask if I can go first because I have three plates to make. I'm afriad my kids will touch the food with their hands...

Same here, I gotta make 4 and the thought of them reaching for something and their clothes getting in the food.... I know people wouldn't want to eat something if someones hands and clothes have been touching their food, LOL. Ahh, the joys of mamahood To bad you can't just spray em down with disinfectant when you need to Oh, that would be so good for my germaphobia

 

[Allison]

As far as handling it, I wouldn't have done or said anything because it would be no big deal to me and it certainly would not have hurt my feelings.

 

[Disneyadore]

Yesterday, my uncle who I'm going to guess is close to 50 who all of sudden said he wanted to go first in the line he didn't want any of the kids touching silverware or the kids to breating on the food he might have ate I kinda of took that personal I wasn't the only one with kids there but it still kinda of hurt my feelings.

Is this how your uncle always behaves?
If not I would be very worried. A friend of us was suffering from dementia at a very young age.Nobody did see or noticed the problem. One day he was supposed to pick up his wife in town. He never showed up. He didn't forget her, he just drove miles and miles to another town.
Six months later we buried him at the age of 45.

 

[disykat]

This cracks me up because last night in the dinner line (despite the fact that all our kids are at least 8 and capable of dishing their own food) I saw two "kid germy things" that grossed me out. I had to reach up and move a dish of food because one girl's hair was flopping in it while she reached for other food. Then her sister dished up her potates and then stuck her finger in the potatoes that remained in the dish. These were, of course, the only two girls who didn't listen to the "adults first" rule we have and whose parents let them go in front. All the other kids were at the end of the line.

It kind of cracked me up, but I would have been mortified if I were thier parent. Although he went about it rudely, I can see his point. Kids just aren't as aware of what they might be putting in the food (hair, fingers, etc.)

 

[NikitaZee]

I agree. He may just be a bit worried about the flu. There were stories the last few days about how Thanksgiving would hasten the spread of the flu because so many people are all together in small places. I really wouldn't let it bother me but then again I'm a bit of a germ-a-phobe myself, lol. I think I offended my future SIL yesterday by accident. I had just poured a soda and my brothers BIL wanted to taste it(it was Diet Coke with lime) so he took a sip and then future SIL also took a sip I had to get a new one. I just cpouldn't drink it after 2 other people had sipped from my glass. Future SIL looked at me like I was crazy so I just apologized and blamed it on my phobias, lol.

I probably would have looked at her like she was crazy. I won't drink after anyone except my husband and kids. I've told my kids not to drink from anyone's cup except their father's and mine as well.

To the OP, I wouldn't have done anything either. I would have just let him go first, no biggie, and laughed about it with my husband later!

 

[Carly_Roach]

Same here, I gotta make 4 ...

I make all of my kids plates at family functions, but I ask if I can go first because I have three plates to make.

In our family, the kids go first and the moms help them get their food. Really, the kids never touch anything exept holding their own plate and plasticware.

Yesterday, my uncle who I'm going to guess is close to 50 who all of sudden said he wanted to go first in the line he didn't want any of the kids touching silverware or the kids to breating on the food he might have ate

It's one thing for a mother to make her children's plates. We can presume that the woman in question has good, clean serving habits and won't be sneezing, coughing, touching or spitting all over the food (when she talks to others) that everyone else at the function has to eat.

It's quite another thing when you have to follow the less-than-appetizing "kids helping themselves" which is what it sounds like the uncle was objecting to. He may have experienced this kind of free-for-all at past family gatherings and didn't want to experience it again.

Personally, if I had to deal with a parent who thought their "my kids are only children and we must all be tolerant while I teach them how to serve themselves" attitude trumped everyone else's right to sanitary serving conditions on a major holiday, I'd want to go first, too.

 

[Disney Doll]

It wouldn't faze me but I have a pretty thick skin.

 

[luvsJack]

My sister just got back from a cruise and said that the ship had hand sanitizer everywhere but particularly at the buffets. Every time a person went to the buffet, they were instructed to get a clean plate and to use hand sanitizer before going to the food. Not a bad idea when serving buffet style at a gathering.

ETA: the uncle wouldn't have bothered me, but dh has brothers that are ALWAYS at the front of the line before the kids, their wives, even their mom and dad. I would have just assumed he wanted to be first.

 

[Villain-lover]

Maybe he saw some of the children at last years Thanksgiving grab, sneeze, cough, whatever at the buffet last year...

 

[minkydog]

Does your uncle have a chronic illness? I dislike buffets because there is always some kid who puts their fingers in the food, coughs on the food, or licks the serving spoon. You gotta wonder if they were raised by wolves.

My hubby is immuno-compromised by long term steroid use. He has stage 4 lung disease. I wouldn't hesitate to insist that he go to the front of the line ahead of the kids. Illnesses that you and I wouldn't even miss a day of work with can put him in the hospital.

Hopefully you're uncle had a similar concern and wasn't just being a poopy-head.

 

[MIGrandma]

I'm the hostess at our family Christmas gatherings and I would like to go through the line first, before the little germ-laden kid fingers touch everything! I know I can't do that though. It did gross me out a couple of years ago when I had the desserts on a separate table and came into the kitchen and saw my step-grandson touching all the cookies on the platter. He was 6, so really was old enough to know better. The next year I watched him like a hawk and wouldn't let him go off into the kitchen without me right behind him.

And with the risk of the flu so high, I don't blame older people for wanting to be extra careful.

 

[daisyduck123]

I would've let him go first. No big deal.

Same here.

 

[sturdypeasantstock]

We always fed the kids first. When they were very small the parents made plates for them. Now they are all teens so everyone gets on line whenever they feel like it. Never heard of adults going first. I'm so glad my DHs family is laid-back and I don't have to deal with ego-ridden relatives who don't like kids.

 

[Bluestars]

I would want to go first if I saw small children touching the food, sneezing on it, or things like that. I don't think it's a big deal if someone wants to go first. Not all children know how to serve themselves properly, so that might be the problem here.

 

[disykat]

We always fed the kids first. When they were very small the parents made plates for them. Now they are all teens so everyone gets on line whenever they feel like it. Never heard of adults going first. I'm so glad my DHs family is laid-back and I don't have to deal with ego-ridden relatives who don't like kids.

Oh come on - adults going first has nothing to do with not liking kids. In general it has to do with the number of kids and trying to teach your kids manners. When the kids were small, we fed them first so adults could get their food in peace. Now that the kids are older and getting their own plates they know it's good manners to let grandma go first. For families where there are only a few kids at the meal, and they don't run enmass to the front of the line, it's not an issue. At our holidays, the kids (all old enough to make their own plates) have generally been outside goofing off and it's a rowdy group that outnumbers the adults. It's good for them to have to stand back and know the meal isn't all about them - so that maybe when they grow up they won't be uncle so and so who always insists on being first.