How strongly do you self identify as a "mom"?

[Judy from Boise]

I utterly respect the fact that we all receive a primary "calling" in life, it sounds like the Mom role is the major calling of many, I am sure there are others out there that maybe "pastor" or "teacher" are higher callings (but not priorities). My family is my highest priority, but my "calling" and unique contribution to this world is as a nurse......I guess that is the role I most strongly identify with.

 

[jodifla]

It's certainly in my top 5, but I never use it as a screen name. It always strikes me oddly when people do....just like I'd never be Mrs. Anybody even though I've been married 21 years.

While I love being a mom, it's not something I really aspired to do. I had plenty of other things that I wanted to accomplish.

And I think I view motherhood differently than many women, as judged by what I read on these boards.

 

[luvmy3]

I utterly respect the fact that we all receive a primary "calling" in life, it sounds like the Mom role is the major calling of many, I am sure there are others out there that maybe "pastor" or "teacher" are higher callings (but not priorities). My family is my highest priority, but my "calling" and unique contribution to this world is as a nurse......I guess that is the role I most strongly identify with.

I can see that. I think because my mother abandoned me, I had always felt I was meant to be a mother over anything else. Maybe it was just my way of proving to myself that I could never be like her.

 

[beattyfamily]

Very strongly. Very big aspect of my life.

Top 5, yes. #1 actually.

My proudest accomplishment.

This doesn't mean that's all I'm about. There is more that defines who I am however, it is #1 on my list.

I do have a life outside of my mom job and even my wife job but they are certainly my priority and my joy and my greatest accomplishment.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I do strongly identify with being a mom and proudly use it my username on this board.

Before my dd I could not imagine being a mom, even while pregnant I could not imagine being a good mom but once my dd was born I felt complete. Then a few months later all that was endangered by my first life threatening bout with cancer. All of a sudden being "mom" was more important than anything else - even all of my other callings.

Luckily I recovered yet my mom title or attribute remained #1 in my life. I have other "callings." I work with a great many children in various ways. I hope that my work makes a difference but... when it really comes down to it in the end I will be the only mom of my dd. And after my second bout with cancer (luckily caught early and not life threatening) my dd will be the only child I can ever have.

So yes, it is important to me.

 

[rie'smom]

My only job has been being a wife and mom. When the kids were in grade school and I volunteered, if a child asked who I was, I said, Bud's mom, or Phil's mom. They're both grown men and neither of them likes Disney. We adopted Rie when our elder son was in the last semester of high school. She loves WDW, so my user name on the DIS is rie'smom. In real life, I'm still Bud's, Phil's, and Rie's mom.

 

[NotUrsula]

I'm with you, Judy. I love my children dearly, but motherhood really does not define me as a person, and I doubt that it ever would. Furthermore, I *hated* pregnancy, and thought that childbirth was a hideous experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

I had to be talked into having children, and though I don't regret it, I'm not romantic about it, either. Generally, as a mother, I'm at my best in crisis situations that call for quick thinking and strong nerves -- I'm pretty mediocre in terms of day-to-day mothering chores. I find the minutiae of motherhood quite stressful, really -- I think that I will be rather glad when my kids grow up and don't need round the clock supervision.

 

[LuvOrlando]

As kid I wore the rebel that can think hat, then when I got a bit older I wore the thoughtful student who loves to stay out and party in NYC hat, then when I got engaged married and graduated I picked out my stylish yuppie for work hat. Since taking those other hats off to be a Mom I have been perfectly content with the fit, I've been a mom since 1998 and have thought of myself as Mom first and foremost since holding my DS11 in my arms. I think the next hat Ill try on when the kids go off to college will be a very sophisticated hat so as to denote my own uppity statues as a NYC theater goer extraordinaire.

 

[luvmy2sams]

"Mom" is the first word I think of when describing myself. After marrying my husband, having two children was the best decision I ever made. My world doesn't revolve around them, but they are at the heart of every major decision I make in my life. They're still young (DD10 and DS6) but are growing up before my eyes. One day they won't need me in the same ways that they need me now, but I will always, first and foremost, be their mom.

 

[Keli]

I am very, very family orientated. Always have been and I'm sure I always will be but be being a mom isn't what defines me.
I feel I am the sum total of my parts and being a mom is just one part of me. Significant and import part, true, but still just a part. Although it would make it in my top five it wouldn't be number one or even number two.
Of course being a mom isn't and hasn't been my primary job for quite some time so I'm sure that colors my view. I probably felt differently in my twenties when I was spending so much time doing mom-stuff.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Very strong. I'd have to say it's not only in my top 5, but it's my #1. I can't think of anything else more important or fulfilling. Now my profession, which I'm taking time away from, since the baby, that's not even in my Top 5!

 

[sms]

Becoming a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me!

 

[shortbun]

For 42 years I was someone other than 'Mom.' Now I am that person who has become 'Mom' and it has been the most important, driving force in my life for the last 14 years. When I married, I did not choose to take my spouse's last name. When I became a mother, I became, "XXX's Mom." That's just one of the indicators showing how important this mother thing is to me. Is it the only important part of me? Naw, I'm a lot of things to a lot of people. My fav is 'Mom.'

 

[NHdisneylover]

Thanks for starting a fascinating discussion


I always wanted to be a mom and I love my two children dearly. They are incredibly important to me and I love being home with them and miss them when they are at school or camp, etc. HOWEVER, I also believe that my job as their mother is to raise them to be independent and able and ready to go out into the world on their own by 18-20ish (note: I fully expect to still love them and be there for them into adulthood, but it is a very different thing then).

If I define myself only in terms of my relationship to my children (or primarily in those terms), how can I let go appropriately when I should?

If I define myself as "Marika and Rio's Mom" instead of Hadley then how pressured will they feel to live for me instead of for themselves?

I think it would be unfair to them, and me, and my husband if I defined myself in the long run by the fact that I am their mother. I was me before I had children and that core ME still exists and needs to exist now that I do have children.

Of course, as my kids are currently school age and living at home it is often one of the first things that comes up to describe myself. In the same way, when I was in college "student at CSU" or "English Major" was often one of the first descriptors used. This is a transiet thing though. While I will ALWAYS love my children and always be their mother I imagine that once they are grown up and on their own "Marika and Rio's mom" will almost never come up in introdcutions (only if i have traveld to their place and am meeting their friends). I would think that then it is more likely to be "retired" or whatever is going on for ME then.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

My screen name is Mom themed.
When I decribe myself the most important thing to me is being a Mom. The reason being is that I personally think it is the most important thing you can be. I am responsible for human beings. I am responsible for teaching them all that they know. I am responsible for every aspect of their lives. I am also very very blessed that I was chosen to have them. I think they are amazing and they constantly inspire me. I tell them that all the time. I love being a Mom more than anything I have ever done in my life. I am a Mom before anything. Nothing else is as important to me.
I feel I have accomplished a lot in life. My friends are often surprised when they find out something new about me that they would have never suspected. It always makes for good conversation.
I don't need anything to define me but I hope that when someone does talk to me they know that me being a Mom is the strongest part of me. There will never be anything more important to me. I am still an individual, but the largest part of me is being a Mom.

 

[Acklander]

Being a mom is the most important thing to me. That being said, I've never had (or wanted) a screen name with mom in it. I also don't do the screen name listing me as some type of wife. I guess the way I look at it is, while I love my husband and kids dearly, I not only consider myself an individual, I also consider them individuals and our different screen names reflect that.

 

[emer95]

Being a mother is the best, most important thing that has ever happened to me. It's not a part of my screen name, but if I had to define myself, the first thing I would say is, "I'm a Mom."
Motherhood is a true blessing and my proudest accomplishment. I've accomplished many things in my life, personally and professionally, and none would even come close to the joy of my children.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Being a mother is the best, most important thing that has ever happened to me. It's not a part of my screen name, but if I had to define myself, the first thing I would say is, "I'm a Mom."
Motherhood is a true blessing and my proudest accomplishment. I've accomplished many things in my life, personally and professionally, and none would even come close to the joy of my children.

I think you summed up my feelings best.

 

[clarabelle]

It is in my top 5 as well

But.... I am aware that at some point I need to make a shift. Develop more interests. I worry sometimes about being unable to be fulfilled after my kids leave home.

 

[diznygirl]

Thanks for starting a fascinating discussion


I always wanted to be a mom and I love my two children dearly. They are incredibly important to me and I love being home with them and miss them when they are at school or camp, etc. HOWEVER, I also believe that my job as their mother is to raise them to be independent and able and ready to go out into the world on their own by 18-20ish (note: I fully expect to still love them and be there for them into adulthood, but it is a very different thing then).

If I define myself only in terms of my relationship to my children (or primarily in those terms), how can I let go appropriately when I should?

If I define myself as "Marika and Rio's Mom" instead of Hadley then how pressured will they feel to live for me instead of for themselves?

I think it would be unfair to them, and me, and my husband if I defined myself in the long run by the fact that I am their mother. I was me before I had children and that core ME still exists and needs to exist now that I do have children.

Of course, as my kids are currently school age and living at home it is often one of the first things that comes up to describe myself. In the same way, when I was in college "student at CSU" or "English Major" was often one of the first descriptors used. This is a transiet thing though. While I will ALWAYS love my children and always be their mother I imagine that once they are grown up and on their own "Marika and Rio's mom" will almost never come up in introdcutions (only if i have traveld to their place and am meeting their friends). I would think that then it is more likely to be "retired" or whatever is going on for ME then.

I tried, when my son was in preschool, to find out the other mothers' actual names so we didn't have to be called So-and-So's Mom all the time. It didn't work then, but over time we have gotten our names back. Some of the kids still call us So-and-So's Mom. I remember when my daughter started school and they all identified me as her mom instead of my son's mom. Now it got more complicated!