How old were your kids when you let them babysit?

[jenrein]

Just wondering- for those with a couple kids....How old was your oldest when you started letting them watch their brothers and sisters? I have a 7, 8 and 11 year old. My 11 year old has been coming home off the bus alone all school year. I am thinking about trying out the whole babysitting thing. She ahs taken the Red Cross babysitters course and has watched one of them at a time while I ran errands for 15-20 minutes, but thats it. I remember being in 4th grade and watching my sisters who were waaayyy younger than me all the time, but things change. Any thoughts?

 

[goinback]

Hi!

I have a 13yo DD, 9 yo DS& a 7yo DD. I too would let her watch the younger two for up half an hour for "around the corner" errands when she was 11. When she was 12&1/2 we started letting her watch them for longer periods of time, mostly for me to do my grocery shopping or for mom & dad to get some ice cream or coffee. Now that she is of legal babysitting age, and she is pretty mature and levelheaded, She will sit for us like a regular sitter does. We don't let them eat anything but ice cream, apple sauce, pudding, or things they will not choke on.(even though 13yo has been trained in the Heimlick) We call every hour. We also have a password system. They are not allowed to even acknowledge someone knocking at the door unless the kids can hear them shouting out the password. The younger ones are very good for her, because we have enforced very serious consequenses if they do not listen to her. We told them that they have to obey because their safety could depend on it! It was hard at first to let her take on this responsibility, but they really do need to learn how to take care of themselves and others. Kids usually rise to the occaision when you give them a chance!

 

[meandtheguys2]

At 11, I would leave for 10 or 15 minutes.

12ish, a quick (30 min) trip to the grocery.

And, now, at 13 I have some freedom! I will leave them for 2 - 3 hours, if necessary. They love it, and so do I!

My boys are 13, 10, and 8 and get along reasonably well. They are allwed TV and computer games (usually rationed) while I'm away.

 

[cinder1]

My kids are DD12, DD10, DS7 and DD3. When the oldest was 10, I would leave the next 2 with her for short errands (no more than 30 minutes), but the youngest would come with me. When she was 11, I started leaving the youngest with her too, but only for periods no longer than 1 hr and only when the youngest agreed (as in no crying). Now I will leave the oldest in charge for longer periods, but not for any real length of time at night. (meaning DH and I still can't go to a movie or dinner without an older sitter; read: grandma).

I also will let the 10 yr old watch the 7 yr old for an 1 to 1.5 hrs and I let her watch the 3 yr old for short periods of time (ex. I have to leave to take the oldest to an activity and DH is on his way home). But I will say my 10 yr old is very responsible. If my DS was the 10 yr old, I wouldn't do it. He just wouldn't watch the 3 yr old. Also the 3 yr old has always done very well with her older sisters. She seems to think she has a mom and 2 sort of moms.

I think it depends on the kids. With your kids ages, as long as you are sure they will behave, I'd absolutely let the oldest watch them. But here are my rules:

1. no answering the phone unless caller id shows it's me or their dad. NO ONE ELSE, even grandma!!
2. no phone calls to friends, only calls to me or their dad.
3. NO cooking. NO microwave or toaster oven. NONE ever.
4. no answering the door.
5. no going outside, even to the backyard.
6. no showers or baths.
7. at least attempt to get homework done

My kids usually enjoy the responsibility. I also pay the older 2 when they babysit the youngest (not the 7 yr old.). I don't pay much. Actually I've never given them any cash. They keep a running account and I will pay up when they are owed enough to warrant paying and when they have an acceptable (to me) item they wish to buy. This means no spending on candy.

 

[Andy B]

Our DS looked after his sister when he was 13 ish. now he is 16 and will have responsibility all day if needed.

I am surprised about some of the conditions that other parents put on, no showers? soft food only? for babies I can understan but it seems a little odd for a 9yr old.

 

[ForeverDance]

When DS12 had just turned 12 we allowed him to watch DD9 for very short periods of time (around 1/2 hour). As the year progressed and he showed increased responsibility the time slowly increased. During March break he watched her all day for 2 days but there were some strict rules: do not leave the house, no stove, etc. I also called every couple hours and so did DH. DD9 was also told that there were some serious consequences for not listening to him.

Since them we have allowed them to go outside while he babysits (for an hour or so) but only on our court (we live on a small court where everyone knows everyone so I feel safe with them out there), no going in other people's back yards, no going into other people's houses.

In August, the week that we are leaving for Disney he will be watching her for 4 days (he will be 13 by then and she will be 10). They will be allowed to go outside during the day but the same rules will apply (no backyards, other houses).

I really think it all depends on the child. Some are more mature than others at the same age.

 

[jenrein]

Wow- thanks! I am surprised I am right about in the same place as most of you. We are moving from NY where we have 3 grandmas on hand as needed to FL where we have no one. My husband and I are going to try to work opposite each other, with my job as the main income and his would be nights. So hopefully there will be no cross over but I want to be prepared if there is. Thanks for advice!

 

[GreatLakes5]

You may want to check with your state laws on the matter. There are few states with laws in this regard - but I believe there are at least 2, if not more, that do have something 'on the books'.

Our 11 year old i - 12 in the fall - is quite mature, we will leave him alone but not for more than 2 hours. He never answers the door & we either leave our extra cell phone or have him rely on caller id to determine who is calling. It is not, however, my preferred way of doing things.

 

[TAEMom]

Just last month we began allowing our 11.5yr. olds (twins) to babysit DS 6 for longer periods of time. Prior to that, they did watch him occasionally this year for brief periods (less than ~20min), while we picked up/dropped off at a practice, etc. THey have both completed the babysitting course with CPR and first aid training this spring. So far, we have only let them babysit twice while we were fairly nearby, and we have laid out a clear chain of command so that everyone knew who was "in charge." (The older 2 will be taking turns babysitting younger DS and getting paid - the other one that is not sitting is only "in charge" of him or herself!) They take the responsibility fairly seriously so far, but I think that if there are going to be any problems, it won't be for 6mos or so, when the novelty wears off for all of them.

 

[SnowWhite12]

I was 12 when I first started babysitting around town. I mostly watched my neighbor's kids, who were 1 1/2 and 3 when I first started watching them on Friday and Saturday nights.

 

[jenrein]

I was 12 when I first started babysitting around town. I mostly watched my neighbor's kids, who were 1 1/2 and 3 when I first started watching them on Friday and Saturday nights.

wow- really? I am surprised other parents were willing to leave a 12 yr old with that responsibility. I mean its one thing when you know your 12 yr old but there is such a wide range of responsibility among 12 yr olds.

 

[write2caro]

I was 12 when I first started babysitting around town. I mostly watched my neighbor's kids, who were 1 1/2 and 3 when I first started watching them on Friday and Saturday nights.

wow- really? I am surprised other parents were willing to leave a 12 yr old with that responsibility. I mean its one thing when you know your 12 yr old but there is such a wide range of responsibility among 12 yr olds.

I did the same when I was a kid. Took the Red Cross Babysitting course and was babysitting by age 12 for my next door neighbors (who we knew quite well). I had been babysitting just my sister (3 years younger) for a little while before. I must say that now as a parent myself, I am pretty surprised that neighbors were comfortable with that, although they did know that my mom was always home right next door!!

OP - I, personally, would be comfortable leaving kids those ages alone for longer stretches with a responsible and prepared older sibling. If you feel she has proven herself with the responsibility you have given her so far, I would think this is the natural next step.

 

[TAEMom]

wow- really? I am surprised other parents were willing to leave a 12 yr old with that responsibility. I mean its one thing when you know your 12 yr old but there is such a wide range of responsibility among 12 yr olds.

I remember having my first babysitting job when I was only 11. A year ago, I could never have imagined letting my 11 yr. olds babysit, but it's amazing how fast they seem to mature. In fact, my neighbor has a 5 yo and a 6yo and has asked my kids to babysit (they'll take turns) once a week for 4 hrs (daytime hours). I was initially reluctant, but the neighbor's kids are very well-behaved, and I do feel like it's a great first experience babysitting outside the house (but, I'll admit that I do plan to check in on them!).

 

[minnieandmickeymouse]

I'm glad I read this thread. My oldest DS is 11 and we have let him watch our younger ones for a short time. Glad to see that others also feel that it's the right age for them to start. Now I don't feel so bad. LOL

 

[Princess Stitch]

Around here the legal age to start babysitting is 12. I did watch kids before that, but only at the park while there parents were nearby watching an older kid play soccer. I probably watched my brother for short periods before I was 12 as well, but if my parents went out for a long time we had a babysitter since the two of us didn't get along so well when we were younger!

I was a pretty mature 12 year old though, so that probably helped. I guess the other thing to consider is 12 year olds come cheap too! I assume the older the sitter the more you have to pay for them to be interested.

 

[tinabheart]

I think it's really important to only use age as a guideline.

I was an only child, very mature for my age and babysat a 6-week old baby when I had just turned 11 years old. When my DS14 was 6 weeks old, I wouldn't have left him with an 18 year old!

Times have changed, and where you life also plays a big part. I live in a small community that appears to be very safe. I have left my DS 'alone' since he was 9 or 10 years old for a couple of hours at a time. Not only age and maturity levels play a part, but more important the personality of the kids involved.

 

[AngieWin]

I babysat when I was 12, some 20 years ago. My stepdd on the other hand is 13, and I would not trust her with my ds4 and ds1 for more than a few minutes, even when I was in the house. Her seemingly lack of concern about anyone besides herself and her inability to problem solve are reasons I would not let her. But she has friends her age that do babysit and are more mature and trustworthy.

I absolutely agree that it is more than their actual age. Maturity and other factors should absolutely be considered.

 

[tjmw2727]

My oldest is 12 and she is just now becoming someone I would trust to leave alone with my younger dd. She has stayed alone for an hour or so herself but not with her sister yet. It's not that I felt she was irresponsible but just not IMHO mature enough to handle things until the past few months. I find they change quickly over a few months and then just chill again for a while

I signed her up for a red cross babysitting course next week so she will learn the basics as well as CPR. She will turn 13 in the fall and I think she will do well babysitting in our neighborhood as none of the slightly older teens are at all interested.

TJ

 

[jenrein]

I plan on testing this out a little bit before we leave. Obviously she would be (and I would be) more comfortable with the situation with the more practice she gets.

 

[tjmw2727]

I plan on testing this out a little bit before we leave. Obviously she would be (and I would be) more comfortable with the situation with the more practice she gets.

I meant to ask you what you and your dd thought of the red cross babysitters course. My dd is curious as to what it is like and there isn't much info on the website. Hers will be two evenings from 4:30 to 8:00 she is looking forward to it but a little info would be great! Thanks

TJ