How much to give for graduation gift

[StitchFanZ]

My son received a small poem with his 2nd grade school picture printed on the same paper as the poem from his 2nd grade teacher. I think the picture was from his 2nd grade class photos. We did not send her an invite but really appreciate the thought she put into saying congrats - my guess is she sends these out to all her former students. She sent no money but the personalized note/poem was very meaningful plus it was fun to compare the photo to his senior photos.

 

[thinkerbell]

Thanks for all the replies. I do feel like a gift is expected...I do know I don't have to give anything at all. As the first reply said, it will get around either way. I am waiting to send anything until after the graduation ceremony so I can see how many more show up and so that they don't share with others to let them know to send an invitation as well.

 

[mousehockey37]

Thanks for all the replies. I do feel like a gift is expected...I do know I don't have to give anything at all. As the first reply said, it will get around either way. I am waiting to send anything until after the graduation ceremony so I can see how many more show up and so that they don't share with others to let them know to send an invitation as well.

This a is big problem in a small town district. Since you feel the way you do, I would honestly go in and talk with other teachers and your administration. Tell them that you are not sure how to handle this and would like some advice, you probably won't be the first or last to need some guidance with this. They (the administration) could then send out a general memo or something for ALL of the staff in regards to things like this happening and possible ways to handle it.

 

[OurBigTrip]

I think the word INVITATION has morphed into ANNOUNCEMENT. One suggests a gift, the other doesn't.

Suggestions aside, neither requires a gift.

 

[Bec3b1g]

My DS's (18) sent graduation announcements out (no teachers) and we do not expect gifts from anyone. I think a card with a hand written note would be appropriate.

Im not sure how to convey that it's not a money grab when sending out grad announcements. You obviously made an impression on these young adults and they probably just want to share their accomplishment with you.

 

[mjkacmom]

Suggestions aside, neither requires a gift.

Nothing ever requires a gift, but there is a difference between and announcement and an invitation.

 

[Bluestars]

I think a hand written note wishing them well with some thoughts about knowing them would be very appreciated. It doesn't even have to be a "bought" card. When I've received personal notes (not cards) in this age of texting it has been really special.

I really like the idea of writing a personal note to the kids. A few of my son's teachers have done that over the years and I saved them. A personal note will be treasured more than money, in my opinion.

 

[OurBigTrip]

I really like the idea of writing a personal note to the kids. A few of my son's teachers have done that over the years and I saved them. A personal note will be treasured more than money, in my opinion.

Exactly - I'm really surprised at the number of people saying to send $5 or $10...that could add up to a lot for a teacher over the years.

 

[mousehockey37]

Exactly - I'm really surprised at the number of people saying to send $5 or $10...that could add up to a lot for a teacher over the years.

And as we are saying for the OP in this thread, in a small town, if it gets known that Teacher X is willing to give $25 cards, well, then you better have a hefty checkbook because you'll have to treat each invitation the same. Teachers aren't "allowed" to play favorites (do we have them, yes. period.), but in a situation like this, you'd have to play it fair across the board.

So as not to create a small town uproar among graduating students, leaving out the real money and giving some sort of life advice might be the gift they need.

 

[unhinged]

This is not only a dilemma for the teacher, but also for the graduate.

My son graduated on Friday night. We really had to think about sending out announcements because we didn't want anybody to feel obligated to send a gift. But he also wanted to let some of his most beloved teachers know he "made it." I know he would have appreciated a thought or remembrance and a congrats just as much, if not more than a check, from his teachers.

One third grade teacher ended up going to the graduation ceremony to congratulate all her students at one time, rather than doing the party round and giving cards with checks. That seemed a great way to do it, that she cared enough to see them graduate, but didn't cost her a whole bunch of money. I know all the students were absolutely thrilled to see her there.

Otherwise, the $20.15 check seems to be the standard this year from the cards he received.

 

[StitchBuddy]

I am a high school teacher and I have a DD graduating is year. I get many graduation anouncements and invitations. I do not treat them all equally. If I was especally close to a student or family I will give a little gift, often the other two teachers I teach with also get the announcement/invitaion. We travel as a group and will put in $5-$10 each. But, it really varies. I do not feel obligated. I also do not expect my DD teachers to feel that way either. Itis jut saying hey I graduated!

 

[Laura66]

I would do a card only and maybe a little reflection of something they did or said while in your class.

Perfect!!!

 

[usd2bmd]

I feel for you, this is a bad position to be put in.
Could you possibly send something meaningful and inexpensive, like a book or a frame.
Not to sound cheap, but I picked up some wallet sized photo frames, that are nicely decorated for graduation, at Party City for $1.99 each. I am using them for my son to give to each of his aunts as a special addition to his grad party favors, but they could easily be given to a graduate to decorate a dorm room, or bedroom at home.
It may sound cheesy, but Dr Suess' Oh The Places You'll Go is very graduation appropriate, and not as childish as it may seem. I have used quotes from the book in my son's party decor- and his is a college graduation.

When I read first read this thread a book is what immediately came to mind as a gift to give. I agree that Oh The Places You'll Go is a great idea. It was part of my nephews graduation quote and it was used at his party.

 

[Disney Doll]

How about the book "oh the places you'll go" and write something meaningful in it...either a memory of when you had them as a teacher or choose a characteristic of theirs that you admire and write a brief note about that.

The book probably isn't going to cost more than $10 and with your personal comments added, it will be a very meaningful gift.

 

[AppleDumpling]

As a graduate, I would not be expecting a gift from a former teacher. If anything, it’s more appropriate for the student to give a small gift and/or nice card or letter of appreciation to a few favorite teachers who have been influential. Around here, it is not customary to send announcements and the school does not provide them. Most people send only invitations to close friends and family, if they have a graduation party. Some kids visit their old elementary school and MS and ask those select teachers to sign their yearbook.

In your situation, I would send a card with a personal note and be done with it. But my advice is to do whatever your gut feeling tells you is the right thing. If you decide to give a gift, it's a good idea, like you said, to wait a bit until after the graduation.

 

[bethbuchall]

Around here it seems customary to invite special teachers to graduation parties. Neither of my two wanted a party, so I didn't have to deal with that. I don't know if the teachers give gifts, but I would assume that they don't, since they are invited to so many parties. I think that a card with a personal message would be appreciated.

My daughter's first grade teacher did send her a card with a check out of the blue when she graduated from high school. The same teacher didn't send one to my son two years earlier. I don't know if it's because she was invited my daughter's close friend's graduation party and thought of my daughter, too, or if it was something new she started. In any case, we were surprised and very appreciative that she thought of her at all. (And, no, my son didn't feel slighted in the least.)

I think that whatever you can do with a happy heart is the best answer.

 

[lovin'fl]

A congratulatory card will suffice

This!