I wanted my daughters to find a middle-point between wild extravagance and too cheap. I wanted them to learn to be frugal and use their resources, and to realize that this is a one-night event -- in fact, it's only a couple hours -- yet still feel festive.
When my first daugther hit high school, I told her that I'd give her $50 + tickets for a small dance (homecoming or winter semi-formal) and $200 + tickets for prom. She could spend it anyway she liked, but that was my limit.
My rationale was that I wanted her to have a reasonable amount of money for a fun event, but I also wanted her to realize that you can't splurge-splurge-splurge on every detail -- you have to pick and choose which things matter most.
I did the "+ tickets" thing because I figured that tickets cost what tickets cost, and they had no opportunity to be frugal in that area.
How'd it work?
For her first small dance, she picked a short, sparkly dress in the $40 range, which left a little for some cheap jewelry. She wore a pair of silver sparkly heels that I already had. Perfect.
For her second small dance, she found a similar dress in blue, but it was a little over the budget -- she put in some money of her own, and she wore jewelry she already had.
For all of her later small dances, she traded dresses with friends. Everyone seemed happy.
For her first prom, she picked a budget-buster dress. It took the whole $200, but it was beautiful and very "her". When she picked it, I pointed out that it meant she'd have nothing left for shoes, etc. No problem -- she wore a pair of my shoes and carried a clutch purse of mine. She did her own hair and make-up.
For her second prom, she was fortunate enough to find a $50 clearance dress -- very different from her big, princess gown first dress, but "older", more mature. With her remaining money, she bought a pair of sparkley Toms . . . but in the end, wore the same pair of shoes she'd worn to her first prom. She was left with a little over $100, and she asked if she could spend it on college clothes instead of prom clothes.
My youngest has done similar things:
For her first small dance, she picked a nice dress that fell into the $50 range, and because she won't wear heels, she wore a pair of ballet flats that she already owned.
Before her next small dance came along, she found a great little B&W dress for $15 on a clearance rack, and she asked, "Mom, I know we don't have a dance coming up right away, but I love this dress -- could I go ahead and get it and credit it towards my budget when it's time?" Uh, yeah. That's exactly the type of thinking-ahead that I want you to learn! When the time came for that dress to be worn, we did end up adding a light sweater because it was sleeveless, and the weather was cold.
She hasn't done prom yet, but we're actually going out TODAY to see what's on New Year's clearance. She's interested in a black dress.
I'm completely happy with what we've spent, and they are too.