KristyBDJ
NDM #77
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2009
- Messages
- 285
I'm really sorry to hear about your motherUnfortunately, my mother has cancer right now. My brother is useless, my sister lives a few thousand miles away. It all fell to me regardless.



I'm really sorry to hear about your motherUnfortunately, my mother has cancer right now. My brother is useless, my sister lives a few thousand miles away. It all fell to me regardless.
I'm really sorry to hear about your motherI know what you're saying and I agree that you are not destined to get along. I just know that I spent my whole life being lonely and even now with my own kids I feel like I just don't get the dynamics between them having never had any siblings myself. it's still lonely as an adult and it's a little hard that my kids have no aunts, uncles, cousins etc. from my side. I don't know... I'm just always curious about people's opinions on this I guess. And I'm always interested in the paren't perspective, my parent's never wanted any kids so there ya' go! Although I must admit, having 4 kids now, there are many a day when I miss only having one
Then again, most of those days, I miss when I didn't have any!!
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We did officially move to the "family" vehicles Currently a minivan but we're looking at the Mazda 5 wagon. At least it looks a little less frumpy![]()
To all the parents who have chosen to have just one child, I totally understand that, but have a suggestion to make. I am married to an only child, and we have 2 DD's 7 and 11. My DH just doesn't understand sibling relationships, such as how my girls can be mortal enemies one minute, and then best friends the next. He has a lot of issues dealing with them yelling at each other, arguing with each other, etc (part of this also stems from having parents who NEVER had a disagreement...one of them would just always compromise and give in to the other). My suggestion to you would be to expose your child to the relationships of other families, so if they decide to have larger families, things won't be so shocking, as they are to my DHIt has really caused some difficult moments in our family life.
My mother is an only child and is alone now. As my grandparents aged, she was the only one left to deal with things for them. She has friends and has a social life but she has no siblings to rely on. She does have us, her 3 kids, but we all live at least 2-4 hrs. away, so it is hard for her sometimes.
Not to be nosy, but did you do foster care or an adoption agency? We would love to adopt, but can't get over the sticker shock!
No offense taken....
It's actually my experience as the oldest of 3 children, the dynamic that existed in my house, and my belief that we are not destined to be close friends just because my mother gave birth to all of us that led me to the conclusion that having an only child was the right choice for me.
You know what they say about the grass always being grenner...
mom2aredhead:
I'm just curious..have you talked to many only children about their experiences? I only ask because I am an only child myself and I admit to making comments myself. I don't think there is anything "wrong" w/ it and although I will admit to being spoiledI didn't grow up anti-social. I just know that for me ...I hated being an only child, I still do and when I look to the future...my parents needing assistance, etc. I will still hate it b/c as always...it will all fall on me. Ok ok, I'll get off my soapbox now...
Please don't take offense, I'm only stating my personal opinion from my own experiences.
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we also have three, DS 9, DS 4, DS 2. I never get any comments about having a big family, but I ALWAYS get asked "so are you going to try for that girl" the answer to that would be " we are happy with our 3 princes"![]()
I agree. We had DS after DD was 31/2 and she still can't stand her brother or sharing the limelight 90 percent of the time! I am upset about her reactions and comments and have even blamed not having a second one earlier, but DD was and still is a higher maintenance kid so one, two or three more kids would not be in her favor. I don't see them being close at all, but then again hopefully they will surprise us later on!
Be happy with one or ten! If the decision is yours don't worry about what others say or think. They are not the ones that have to deal with the decision...it's YOUR family and YOUR decision ( not to mention your sanity)