How fast it all changed.

tink1970

DCL Platinum
Joined
Dec 29, 2012
Thank you for the update-it is good to hear that your children are doing better. Continued prayers for your parents, children and you. I hope you are able to make it to Florida in March (it's been warm already), I can't imagine someone who deserves a vacation more!
 

macraven

Proud Redhead
Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2003
All your readers appreciate you updating us on your children, parents and yourself

Still have you in my prayers

It is very good you are with your parents and able to help them with what they are dealing with now

You are a blessing for them

Wishing your mom gets a clean bill of health and no kidney problems
I’m sorry to read about your dad’s brother passing

You and the children will have a fabulous vacation !

I’m excited for you for your future trips you have lined up
 

Snowflakey

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 28, 2005
So good to hear from you! So sorry about more loss in your family and praying your Mom makes out ok.

Enjoy your vacation - can't think of anyone else who deserves it more.

You remain in my thoughts!
 
  • ronandannette

    I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!
    Joined
    May 4, 2006
    Just checking in on you, Rodeo. I had to scroll back several months to catch up. It would be great to get an update on you and your family! I think about you from time to time and wish only the best for you.
    Going back through the thread it was a year in April since “Buddy” passed away and I know for @rodeo65 that must seem like both forever-ago and just yesterday. We’re all here thinking about you and your kids - grace and peace. :grouphug:
     
  • lynxstch

    I Love Figment
    Joined
    Feb 2, 2001
    I too have been thinking of you Rodeo (Erin). The last time we messaged you were packing for your trip to Florida. I hope all went well. Love to you and your kids. Stop by the DIS sometime and let us know how you are!
    Lynn
     

    rodeo65

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 1, 2009
    Going back through the thread it was a year in April since “Buddy” passed away and I know for @rodeo65 that must seem like both forever-ago and just yesterday. We’re all here thinking about you and your kids - grace and peace. :grouphug:
    I too have been thinking of you Rodeo (Erin). The last time we messaged you were packing for your trip to Florida. I hope all went well. Love to you and your kids. Stop by the DIS sometime and let us know how you are!
    Lynn

    I was actually shocked at how much time has passed. It seems like just a couple of months and its been more than a year! In fact in five days it will be the two year anniversary of Buddy's death. Which exactly as ronandannette said is both another lifetime and yesterday rolled in together. I'm so sorry I just left this thread hanging, especially for all of you who gave so much support and continued to follow for so long.

    lynxstch - I did respond privately as well but for a bit more update - yes we had a great trip to Florida last year! Really wish we could have gone this year also but of course no travel for the foreseeable future. After FL there was Chicago for a comp, Cuba for fun and several other competitions around Ontario and Quebec over the summer. The last trip was to Boston to visit my brother in August.

    Layered over that summer of travel was my mom's worsening condition. She was diagnosed with kidney cancer not long after my last post and that began more appointments than I can remember. I was happy that the kids and I were already living here to be able to support both of my parents. By early summer we found it had metastasized to her lung and we were waiting to find out if she was eligible for a clinical trial. It came to the final spot for the trial and it had been held for her but at the last week got results from a scan that showed a mass in her brain which negated her admission into the trial. That was a huge blow in particular for my dad who was counting on the trial. She ended up starting regular chemo in late July. All of it was so familiar but also so different from the experience I had with Buddy. She survived for a good while longer than he did after diagnosis. She never complained but I could see the toll chemo was taking.

    The most heartbreaking conversation I had with her was about two weeks after starting chemo. She had so little energy and slept almost constantly. She was often asleep in her chair as I'd go past the sunroom where she liked to sit. One day she said she could see us all passing by as we went about our lives (the sunroom is off the kitchen and central to the house) and she felt like she was just sitting there and waiting to die. I said I was so sorry and that if she was awake and wanted company to just wave as I went by, that I always though she was sleeping and didn't want to disturb her. She did start doing so and I started spending more time with her.

    At the end of Labour Day weekend, my dad phoned me at 3am and asked if I could come downstairs - she had fallen and he could not help her up. I went and he said she had actually fallen on the way to the bathroom 45 minutes earlier and he couldn't maneuver her back to bed. I woke my son and the three of us tried a few times but she was in pain when we tried to lift her so we called an ambulance. They determined her BP was far too high and they wanted to take her to be seen. Dad went with her in the ambulance. He called at 6:30 to say she was comfortable and waiting for a doctor. At 8 he called very upset and said she was in bad shape, she'd had a brain hemorrhage and her scans had been sent to a neuro hospital in the next city and they were going to transport her there to see if they could operate. I was preparing to head to that hospital and he called back in tears to say she was being placed on life support and could I call my brother to come. 3am to 9am. Six hours.

    She was on life support for four days. It gave my brother time to fly up, the rest of his family time to drive, and my dad time to come to terms with removing support. She died 30 hours after the tubes were removed with my brother and I holding her hands. We had been taking turns staying with her and I had stayed the night before. My brother was staying that night and my dad had just left. I knew though. I'd seen the changes that I remember from a year and a half earlier. I believe my dad knew also and didn't want to witness her pass. I didn't leave when my dad did. My brother asked why. I said I thought I needed to stay. I'm really glad I did. After not being there when Buddy left. I'm so glad I was for my mom. And also that we were able to tell my dad that she was comfortable and held while she left.

    The last months have been so hard watching my dad struggle to deal with her loss. He's honestly half of who he used to be without her. He still has some spark at times and more keeps coming back as time passes but he has aged dramatically. I'm thankful we're here for him. He wants to stay in his house - their house and the kids and I being here to manage it for him makes that possible. Also supremely grateful as C-19 has decimated care facilities that he is home and isolated and we can keep him safe. He sits and chats to her Urn every day. Brings her flowers (or did until isolation), opens the curtains each morning because "she likes them open". I keep telling him what a weird atheist he is.

    I also took on managing the studio in December which took up an enormous amount of time moving it online and updated onto a web based platform. I'm hoping there is a studio to go back to when all of this settles.

    I hope you and your families are all well and keeping safe through these most difficult times!
     

    ronandannette

    I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!
    Joined
    May 4, 2006
    Thanks for letting us know; many of us wondered. Very understandable that you felt less and less need to chronicle things here; I'm happy for many of the positive steps you and your kids have taken. I'm also very, very sorry for the loss of your mother but glad that things unfolded in a way you seem to be at peace with. :flower3:
     
  • lynxstch

    I Love Figment
    Joined
    Feb 2, 2001
    I am so glad to see you back with your DIS family, Erin. I cried as I was reading your private message, feeling so bad for you , your Dad and your family over the loss of your Mother. Sending you prayers, pixie dust, and a virtual hug , hopefully so you know that we didn't forget about you. Stay safe my friend, and keep in touch when you can. We are all trying to get thru this together! :grouphug:
     

    Dan Murphy

    We are family.
    Joined
    Apr 20, 2000
    Good morning, Rodeo. Very sorry to read of your mom's passing. God speed for her, prayers of comfort for you, your dad and family. Thank you for stopping by to share. :hug:'s

    You gave me a morning smile with your thought here, thank you for that.....

    He sits and chats to her Urn every day. Brings her flowers (or did until isolation), opens the curtains each morning because "she likes them open". I keep telling him what a weird atheist he is.
     

    lisaviolet

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 9, 2002
    Hi Rodeo,

    Thank you for updating us all. Like many here I think of you and your family, for me usually over holidays.

    I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. Thankful that you and the kids are right there for your father.


    Good morning, Rodeo. Very sorry to read of your mom's passing. God speed for her, prayers of comfort for you, your dad and family. Thank you for stopping by to share. :hug:'s

    You gave me a morning smile with your thought here, thank you for that.....

    He sits and chats to her Urn every day. Brings her flowers (or did until isolation), opens the curtains each morning because "she likes them open". I keep telling him what a weird atheist he is.
    Adding your post Dan because I too smiled, and laughed, when I got to the bolded in Rodeo's update.

    -----------

    I hope he smiles at your wise and humorous proclamation Rodeo.

    Love sent to you all,

    Lisa
     

    leebee

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 14, 1999
    He sits and chats to her Urn every day. Brings her flowers (or did until isolation), opens the curtains each morning because "she likes them open". I keep telling him what a weird atheist he is.
    This made me smile, too. It made me see into your family, to see that life goes on even in the face of the hardest things ever.

    Thank you for updating us. I was just thinking of you the other day and wondering how you were all doing. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, but glad that you are all together and helping your dad come to terms with everything. Take care, stay healthy, remember that we are all still here for you.
     

    Someluck

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Apr 7, 2015
    Thank you for your recent post. Like many, I was very moved by your story and think of you and your family and hope all are well. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and so glad you have your family to support each other through yet another of life's hard times. Take care, Rodeo.
     




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