How fast it all changed.

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by rodeo65, Mar 16, 2018.

  1. yoopermom

    yoopermom Come join Bravo by the fire...

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    It may not be of much comfort to you, but with winter approaching, we are also looking at the quality of life of our dog with CHF. Two years ago, we were "selfish", and kept his father, who was VERY old and frail, alive into the dead of winter, and ended up having to have him put down that February, when he just couldn't tolerate going out to potty in the cold, would slip on the ice, etc. It would have been far kinder for us to let him go gently in the fall leaves, with the sun shining, and him still feeling at least a little good. Sometimes, we have to think of what is best for them, even when we wish we could keep them for just a little longer. God bless you and your children for being there with him, as he drew his final breath. I KNOW the ones we've lost in the past are waiting for my husband, eagerly, just across the Bridge.

    May November be at least a little easier for all of you....

    Terri
     
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  2. disneyeveryyear

    disneyeveryyear DIS Veteran

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    @rodeo65

    Thanks for checking in. It sounds like October has been a very difficult month for you. I would suggest a PP suggestion of having quilts made for your kids from your DH's clothes. There are some really cute T-shirt quilts that are out there, or you could always use dress shirts (cotton) and have regular old patch quilts made. It might be a nice "snuggle" especially as they get ready to leave for college. A drop or two of your DH's favorite cologne would give a multi-sensory approach. My grandmother died 1/1/76. One day in the early 90's a woman at work put on hand lotion and I was immediately brought back to my grandmother. I have no idea how I went 20 years without smelling Jergens' Cherry Almond hand cream, but I did. That is now my favorite hand cream and I often put it on just when I need to "settle" because it brings back all the wonderful memories of my grandma. They say smell is one of the longest memories, so your kids might like to know what their dad's favorite cologne was.
     
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  4. NFLDERS

    NFLDERS Canada

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    So very sorry for your loss. :hug:
     
  5. Dentam

    Dentam Dreaming of Disney

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    I'm so sorry for the additional loss of your pup. I love what your kids said about him seeing your husband waiting for him on the other side. Honestly, it made me cry. I hope they are together and healthy and happy again. :hug:
     
  6. rodeo65

    rodeo65 DIS Veteran

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    Another little heart rip today but also a little bit nice too. I did not plan for Halloween this year. I expected to be driving DS to train tonight and since we live about an hour and a half drive from the studio, I always wait to drive him back, not go in and out of the city twice. Yesterday and today he was home sick and I cancelled classes but didn't think twice about the date.

    So, this morning he asked where the candy was. I said I hadn't bought any since we weren't supposed to be here and we'd just leave the lights off. He got upset and said he wanted to hand out the candy, because that's what his dad always did and he wanted to take over. I always took the kids around and DH stayed back and handed out candy. Off I went this morning to buy candy. Broke my heart a little but also made me proud.

    I spent all day yesterday and today at my parent's house with an organiser purging their basement. WOW! As much stuff as I unloaded after 24 years (with more still to go) it was unreal how much they had after almost 60!! One storage room piled almost to the ceiling taken apart and re-boxed into categories filled two large rooms in their basement; what will be DS's room as well as the living area down there.

    I am having her come over to my place in the next couple of weeks to help me finish. I had no idea how much stuff could go to auction. She redirected about 95% of everything from landfill. Everything is boxed either for auction, donation, recycle, shredding, e-waste, hazardous waste or finally garbage. And she was QUICK!! And efficient - she had a series of those round pop up laundry hampers that she'd line with clear, black or red garbage bags. Things were quickly dismantled and dumped into the appropriate bin. At the end of the day everything waste was carried up and outside for pick up or to her van for removal. Next week her movers will come take the donations and the auctioneer will take what is being sold. I was truly blown away by how much she accomplished. What took me pretty well all summer at my house, she blew through in two days. Now there is plenty of room for me to take stuff there for storage that the kids want in a few years. Most of my furniture is going to auction except for sofas. Apparently no one wants soft goods like that. I'll also be adding some smaller things that I never imagined they'd take after seeing everything my parents sent.
     
  7. flyingdumbo127

    flyingdumbo127 DIS Veteran

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    Aw, God Bless your son, Rodeo, that is so sweet he wanted to hand out candy tonight. I hope he has fun doing so.

    Wow to all the purging, I pray going through was a little freeing to know it's done. I'm so glad the organizer did such a good job.

    Love and God Bless to all of your family. Thank you always for letting us support you.
     
  8. Pea-n-Me

    Pea-n-Me DIS Veteran

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    Wow! I need one of those too!! So glad things are moving along.

    I'm glad things worked out for your son. Although bittersweet, it must've made him happy to give out candy this year.
     
  9. manning

    manning Just for that I have requested it

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    The best decision made. A vet said that when the owner left before being put down it stresses the dog. "They look around for a familiar face to comfort them as they are being put under"
     
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  10. lynxstch

    lynxstch I Love Figment

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    Awww --Bless your Son's heart for wanting to carry on some of his Dad's traditions. That brought tears to my eyes. You are raising some incredible kids Rodeo! Glad you are getting stuff purged, organized and cleared up. You really sound like such a strong, resilient person, we could all take a little lesson from you. God Bless, and thank you for keeping your DIS family in the loop with your life's ups and downs.
     
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  11. yoopermom

    yoopermom Come join Bravo by the fire...

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    How wonderful for you to find such a good organizer! It will literally be a load off your back to have it all organized/sorted/distributed. We don't have a service like that in this area, but I sure wish we did.

    And good for your son for honoring his dad by taking on that job. A happy Halloween memory for the future.

    Terri
     
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  12. rodeo65

    rodeo65 DIS Veteran

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    Momentum is finally picking up. I've taken most of my clothes to my parents' - except for what goes in the dresser, which will be moved in a couple of weeks. I've filled five (so far) of the large clear recycle bags with clothes to donate. I'll probably have one more before I'm completely done. We still have the kids clothes to do - I've been leaving that to them, which may not have been my most efficient choice. DD has taken one laundry basket of clothes plus a couple of armloads over - she has started sleeping there already. DS hasn't done a thing. DH's clothes are all piled in the living room waiting to be put into donation bags.

    Tomorrow we have a shredding service on site and we're combining my stuff and theirs. I think they have about 25-30 boxes to shred. I have around six I think but am still going through my last closet tonight and I know there is more in there. The escape window is going in their basement tomorrow so once that is completed, we can buy DS's bed and he can move over too. The dogs and I will be last, once the furniture goes over.

    Tuesday and Wednesday, the organiser is coming to my house and I hope to complete the basement and the garage. Everything is sort of done, kinda started or in some other halfway point of completion, so I am really happy she'll be there to kick me into completing it all. She will take all donation with her so all I'll have left will be the furniture for auction and the recyclables and trash.

    The bank has been served with our claim so now I've been able to file all the rest of the paperwork to finalise DH's estate, signed his vehicle over to the dealership and should get a cheque for that this week. It feels like things are starting to move in a more positive direction. I've felt like I was basically stagnating through the summer and into the fall. I really think and hope this move will be good for all of us. DS says he's excited to move but will probably still stay here a few nights on and off until the furniture that is going to auction is removed. He said as much as he wants to move he's sad to leave the last house his dad lived in. DD really prefers to stay at my parents' but can't wait for her mattress and furniture to move over.
     
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  13. lynxstch

    lynxstch I Love Figment

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    Glad to hear things are coming together for you Rodeo65. Keep going in that positive direction, I think the move will be good for all of you. I feel for your son, he's trying his best to keep things as they are in some ways, but I think the change will be good for him in the end. God Bless
     
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  14. Snowflakey

    Snowflakey DIS Veteran

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    Thinking of you Rodeo - you continue to amaze me. What a great job you're doing. Hugs to all of you. Love how your son is holding onto all memories of his dad. Priceless. xoxo
     
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  15. LSUmiss

    LSUmiss DIS Veteran

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    Rodeo, you may already know, but I just found out that this Thursday is world pancreatic cancer day. It brings me a little bit of comfort to know that there is a world-wide effort to find better treatments for this horrible cancer. http://www.worldpancreaticcancerday.org/
     
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  16. NFLDERS

    NFLDERS Canada

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    Rodeo, remind ds, that his father will forever reside in his heart, and mind. HUGS all around...
     
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  17. bcwife76

    bcwife76 DisneyMomma

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    I'm so glad you come back here from time to time and update, I often think of you and your kids when wandering around these boards.

    I'm so sorry to hear about Dash; we put our dog down in February (she was 16), just 3 months after my mom passed away and all the grief I had been holding in (which I didn't think was much!) came flooding out as our sweet dog took her last breaths.

    I'm happy to hear you keep moving forward,your strength continues to inspire us all. Thinking of you. :grouphug:
     
  18. rodeo65

    rodeo65 DIS Veteran

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    Thanks to all who are still following along! It really does mean a lot to me.

    Things are moving very quickly now. The purging was completed on Friday; Wendy, my amazing organizer, had her movers come and remove everything that was donation (19 large clear garbage bags of clothing donation alone - couldn't even begin to count the boxes and other items that went) and anything that was trash. She even cleaned out my fridge and spice cupboard while I had to take DS to the doctor! This was after four solid days of purging and cleaning. And THAT was after I filled a dumpster last summer. What remains are a pile of boxes in the basement that are to go to auction at the end of December. Also remaining is the furniture for auction. And personal stuff that I'm still going through myself.

    This Friday, the movers will go to my parents and move the furniture around that they want moved - basement to main floor and vice versa. Then they will remove the bedroom furniture from the two rooms DD and I will have and bring it to my house. Once that's done they will take our furniture over there and we will all begin living there. DD has been there for a week and a half. I had real estate in for an appraisal today and I think for several reasons I'll be able to get pretty much what I was hoping for if I am able to move fast. Sigh - I feel that's all I've been doing for the past six weeks. I have her contact for staging coming Wednesday and the painter later this week. We'll use as much of what is here that is being sold as possible and bring in whatever else she needs. Apparently, there are only two comparable homes on the market right now in this area and ours is dead ended by forest. Hopefully the location will trump the lack of updated kitchen and basement.

    Unfortunately, through all this DS has been diagnosed with mono. He'll have to miss his competition on Dec1/2 both partnering with the girls he assists and with his own partner, so he's pretty bummed about that. Last week and the weekend was a nightmare with all of this. We were to the doctor's office twice in the last half of the week, walk in once Saturday and ended up in emergency Saturday night where they finally gave him a dose of steroids to bring down the swelling in his throat. That was the only thing that helped - up until then he was calling me every ten minutes saying it was getting worse and what else could he take or do? I looked down his throat and it was a mess. It's so much better today, but he's down for another week at least. So now I have a bored - but - feeling - ok - so - no - reason - to - sit - around - teen on my hands. It's fun.

    So - enough procrastination of my majorly long list of things to complete. Back to the grind. I'll be so happy when it's all done and I think then I plan to sleep for a week or so.
     
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  19. mumto3girls

    mumto3girls DIS Veteran

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    I think you are amazing—everything that you’ve managed to accomplish—I think I’d still be walking around in a daze. You are truly an inspiration.
     
  20. TraceyDisney2008

    TraceyDisney2008 Mouseketeer

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    Thanks for the update, hope your sons recovery is quick.
     
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  21. flyingdumbo127

    flyingdumbo127 DIS Veteran

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    Always love, admiration and prayers to you and your family dear Rodeo! Please take care and know we all care, too. God Bless You.
     
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