How do you discipline your kids?

[ironpig70]

Like many mine have issues with picking rides or riding a ride their sibling picked. Hunger and fatigue also play a role.

We always pack snacks and try and do mid day breaks. As for rides not much we can do but try and let each kid choose what to go on.

Must say we don't have many issues as its Disney and while there we are more relaxed with everything. Like somebody else said they let their kids eat ice cream before lunch.

 

[ohboyx3]

By making them ride IASW over and over and over again...

 

[Pseudacris]

Logical consequences. Even smaller kids can respond to it. But in Disney, it usually is tired/hungry/cranky. I remember being hungry and wanting to take a fit a few years ago with my in-laws!!

I spank my children. <snip>

For those saying time-out: time-out is fine for a toddler, but not an 8, 10, 12 or 13 year-old.

You spank a 13 year old?

(I was badly abused as a child, so that colors my perception, but I would cry my eyes out for the rest of the day and have to leave the park if I heard someone spanking their child in the bathroom at Disney. I've had to leave other places and kind of have a mild panic attack. I'm 30, so the reaction has dimmed somewhat. I would never say anything to someone about it, but if someone says something to you--keep in mind my situation. It's not always a person thinking children shouldn't be disciplined, but being triggered and reacting to that.)

 

[princessmocha]

For us, sometimes when I knew they were about to get cranky, we would find one of the play areas and just let them go for a while. Sometimes they just needed to unwind in their own way. If you see your kiddos getting frustrated, ask them what's up and see if some time, doing regular kiddo stuff will help.

I think we only had to stop 1 time for a "time-out" and after that, we were fine. We haven't had to go beyond that. My advice, when it starts, get down on their level, stay calm and try to move to a quiet area. Offer rewards for good behavior and praise them often when they are acting appropriately. So far for us, that has worked. Good Luck!

 

[ars0525]

If the kids are acting up I just go back to the car and lock them in and then I just go back to the park. Done I fixed the issue.

Awesome!

As a bystander who has seen/heard it MANY MANY MANY times....please don't do the empty threats. The only thing worse than the misbehaving out of control child is a parent loudly repeatedly making empty threats. Even I know after you say it 20x you aren't going to follow thru.

 

[Magpie]

I agree. When you say that your going to take your belt off and beat them the next time they act up then you should be ready to take it off and start the beatings.

What if I've threatened to have them drawn and quartered by four white horses? Or hung by their toes over the freeway?

You spank a 13 year old?

(I was badly abused as a child, so that colors my perception, but I would cry my eyes out for the rest of the day and have to leave the park if I heard someone spanking their child in the bathroom at Disney. I've had to leave other places and kind of have a mild panic attack. I'm 30, so the reaction has dimmed somewhat. I would never say anything to someone about it, but if someone says something to you--keep in mind my situation. It's not always a person thinking children shouldn't be disciplined, but being triggered and reacting to that.)

Sending you hugs!

I think seeing a parent spank a child, however deserved it might be, would ruin most people's day. And might very well get the perpetrator and child whisked backstage by the Disney undercover cops.

For parents who use spanking as a disciplinary tool: If you absolutely must spank, please retire to your hotel room first. Be considerate of other vacationers.

In my opinion, time outs work very well with all ages, including adults. The great thing about being grown up is we can figure out when we need a time out and give it to ourselves.

And on a side note, I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that someone spanks their 13yo. I was once on a homeschool board, and a surprising number of these families spank right up to the day their child leaves home - 18, 19, even twenty one year olds! It seems to be a Bible Belt thing.

I asked them who was supposed to take up the spankings after the young adult leaves home... their spouse? That got me some frowny faces.

 

[WDW in Pearls]

Wow, you guys are awesome...so many times this type of thread can go, shall we say AWRY! Kudos on the good advice and politeness. I find kids misbehave when they have some need unmet, as mentioned previously, ie., hunger, rest, thirst, comfort, bathroom, etc. I saw so many meltdowns at Disney with so many frustrated parents and I just wanted to say to them (the parents) I know you spent a lot of money on this trip, but that poor baby is tuckered out! We get on the train or the paddleboat at MK. We sit at Epcot or go on the ride in the ball or throw coins in the fountain. She did very well, I must say both trips. When she started to get "iffy" it was because of tiredness. People mover is good for a break as well. I'd just ask her, what do you want to do now and sometimes she'd say, sit or get a drink of water and the mood improved immensely. You know what to do! Granted you are at Disneyworld - sensory overload times 1000. However, our DD knows rules are rules and there are some non-negotiables (courtesy, etc) So, I'd take her aside and sit and review what she knows, ie., is that how we talk to each other, etc? When you put a kid in an unusual scenario, you can get unusual results compared to if you were at home. WDW is just plain fun, but just plain tiring, too!

Never fails, I always see a young child or toddler at the 11 pm fireworks screaming their head off. If your child never stays up past 7 or 8 and takes naps, why would you think having him or her go nonstop until midnight would work out well? And the loud booming noises...you really thought that was a good idea? Every parent wants their kid to see it all, but its just not possible! Set realistic expectations and you'll avoid a lot of problems.

 

[ponyboy]

I love all these great suggestions!
My 02 cents: don't threaten a consequence you aren't prepared to enforce. If you threaten to take them back to the hotel if they act out again, then you should be prepared to actually take them back to the hotel for a break.

I have seen countless parents threaten their kiddies (at WDW and elsewhere) with dire consequences and then they don't follow through. The kids cotton on pretty quickly that these are empty promises and their behavior tends to not improve.

That's why I never threatened my kids. They received swift punishment out of nowhere when they deserved it. There was no, "If you do this again we're going to the car". If I told them not to do something and they did it again then they went to the car. I didn't threaten to take stuff away from them, I'd just take it. Two kids fighting over the same toy? Easy, I'd just take it away from both of them.

Kids are smart and they learned quickly that bad behavior wouldn't be tolerated and that I don't bluff. It also taught them to get along with one another because rarely would I just punish one if they ever got into it, I'd punish them both. I went in to parenthood with the mindset that I was their parent, not their friend. Now that they've grown up a little they're the best friends I have.

If they ever get out of line now, all I have to do is look at them. The only worries I have with them at DW is about how much stuff they are going to want to buy.

 

[donalduck]

hey that sounds good to me.



QUOTE=Magpie;48350402]What if I've threatened to have them drawn and quartered by four white horses? Or hung by their toes over the freeway?



Sending you hugs!

I think seeing a parent spank a child, however deserved it might be, would ruin most people's day. And might very well get the perpetrator and child whisked backstage by the Disney undercover cops.

For parents who use spanking as a disciplinary tool: If you absolutely must spank, please retire to your hotel room first. Be considerate of other vacationers.

In my opinion, time outs work very well with all ages, including adults. The great thing about being grown up is we can figure out when we need a time out and give it to ourselves.

And on a side note, I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that someone spanks their 13yo. I was once on a homeschool board, and a surprising number of these families spank right up to the day their child leaves home - 18, 19, even twenty one year olds! It seems to be a Bible Belt thing.

I asked them who was supposed to take up the spankings after the young adult leaves home... their spouse? That got me some frowny faces. [/QUOTE]

 

[Mama Who]

I was going to suggest maybe preventative things? Just making sure to stop for breaks, food and cool areas can go a long way to stopping meltdowns before they occur. Even though the urge may be there to go go go, pushing little ones too far can backfire. Good luck and have a great trip!

This. We never had to discipline our first at Disney because as soon as he started to get out of sorts it was time for a break and as he was fairly docile by nature, it was easy to reroute him. Our younger child was 1 when we took her, so no discipline there but we're a little nervous about her and her spectrum disorder in Disneyland shortly after her third birthday this summer.

So... basically, I think preventative measures are the way to go, but to be fair, I have never had to deal with a willful child in Disney yet, so if my method fails, it's probably not because you did it wrong.

 

[ponyboy]

I spank my children. We walk into the bathroom and take care of it or wait until we get back to the room. I don't care what the gvmt and society says about spanking. My parents spanked (not abused) me, my husband was spanked and we turned out loving and non-violent and my children are the same way. My children don't get them too often, but when they are way out of line they get a spanking and usually grounded, too. My children are well-behaved, have wonderful manners, they don't talk back, they openly disagree with us (respectfully), they respect me and their daddy as well as their elders and generally only have to be told something once. Talking repeatedly, threatening to take things away, etc. only works a few times. I believe firmly: spare the rod, spoil the child. Rod doesn't mean a "tool for beating". It means to discipline. My husband and I take no pleasure in it and we usually cry but I take pleasure in knowing that my children behave better than many kids in America today.

For those saying time-out: time-out is fine for a toddler, but not an 8, 10, 12 or 13 year-old.

I spanked my kids when they got old enough to understand that what they were doing wasn't right. It would only take a few times for each kid before they understood what would happen.

You and I are almost twins with kids except I've got one older. 8, 10, 12, 13 & 15. I can't even remember the last time I had to spank my oldest daughter, maybe when she was 3 or 4. I remember my oldest son's was when he was 4 because he lied to me repeatedly after I gave him multiple chances to tell the truth. The middle son got one the first week of kindergarten because he got in trouble each of the first three days. The other two were probably 3 or 4, I can't remember it's been so long ago.

So it's been years since I've really had to discipline any of them. They rarely get in trouble for anything. Once you've got it in their head that you'll handle whatever they can throw at you then they remember that and behave. After a while good behavior becomes normal and you don't have to worry about them much.

 

[joshsmom]

When DS17 was younger and acted up, I would say "if you don't stop, I'm going to kiss you in front of all these people!!" And he would crack up because he knew he was acting up and he knew I was being silly . . . If he was REALLY in a mood, getting out of the situation, eating, resting always helped. And if it was just too much, a longer hotel break was best. Since he's older, there are times when we just need a break from each other. Sometimes he will go on some rides by himself. If I need downtime, I will sit on a bench and send him and grandma on and catch up with them later. I know sometimes I can get grouchy too and just need a break!

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I'm not going to give "good vibes" to anyone who would strike a child. It's that easy for me. I don't care how much you're at the end of your rope, it's never okay. You're an adult and you're hitting a little kid. I may get get some serious flames for this opinion, but it's how I feel. I got my butt beat when I was a kid, and you know what? It freakin' hurt. There are better ways to discipline your kid.

 

[happygirl]

Time outs or if it really bad spankings or we will just leave the park

 

[ScarletFire]

We kept the bedtime schedule while at WDW. It kinda sucked for DH and I at night but made for very pleasant days. When my kids were little, they needed 10+ hours of uninterrupted sleep. DH and I decided to sacrifice the evenings for the sake of our sanity and it worked. My kids were happy and rested.

They're a sophomore and senior in high school now; we just recently enjoyed a MK EMH until 3am. We had a blast!


And this:

I'm not going to give "good vibes" to anyone who would strike a child. It's that easy for me. I don't care how much you're at the end of your rope, it's never okay. You're an adult and you're hitting a little kid. I may get get some serious flames for this opinion, but it's how I feel. I got my butt beat when I was a kid, and you know what? It freakin' hurt. There are better ways to discipline your kid.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

 

[JustAKid]

I spank my children. We walk into the bathroom and take care of it or wait until we get back to the room. I don't care what the gvmt and society says about spanking. My parents spanked (not abused) me, my husband was spanked and we turned out loving and non-violent and my children are the same way. My children don't get them too often, but when they are way out of line they get a spanking and usually grounded, too. My children are well-behaved, have wonderful manners, they don't talk back, they openly disagree with us (respectfully), they respect me and their daddy as well as their elders and generally only have to be told something once. Talking repeatedly, threatening to take things away, etc. only works a few times. I believe firmly: spare the rod, spoil the child. Rod doesn't mean a "tool for beating". It means to discipline. My husband and I take no pleasure in it and we usually cry but I take pleasure in knowing that my children behave better than many kids in America today.

For those saying time-out: time-out is fine for a toddler, but not an 8, 10, 12 or 13 year-old.

Kudos to you for saying this. In my opinion there is a lot of pressure NOT to spank these days and while I am disiplining MY children how *I* feel appropriate, I get a lot of looks. It doesn't much bother me because I believe in what I am doing to be appropriate, well within the laws, and in the best interest of *my* children, all of whom are different and may require different forms of punishment/consequences. Not that my opinion matters but I agree with time-outs being for toddlers. However, I think they can also serve as a time for parents to cool down as well. Also, if I still have to spank my pre-teen I think there is something that *I* am doing wrong.

You spank a 13 year old?

(I was badly abused as a child, so that colors my perception, but I would cry my eyes out for the rest of the day and have to leave the park if I heard someone spanking their child in the bathroom at Disney. I've had to leave other places and kind of have a mild panic attack. I'm 30, so the reaction has dimmed somewhat. I would never say anything to someone about it, but if someone says something to you--keep in mind my situation. It's not always a person thinking children shouldn't be disciplined, but being triggered and reacting to that.)

I'm sorry for your experiences and commend your bravery in sharing them. I have spanked my children, and I have spanked them in public places so I would like to apologize to you, and those like you, who I have upset in doing so.

If it provides any comfort: from a parent who spanks, not everyone who spanks their children abuse them. Not that you do not logically understand this, you obviously must, but I also understand that feelings cannot be controlled. Sometimes it's nice to just hear things said outloud to reinforce what we know intellectually vs. what our hearts say.

Again, I am so sorry for your experiences and I hope you find healing for the wounds inflicted physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Sending you hugs!

I think seeing a parent spank a child, however deserved it might be, would ruin most people's day. And might very well get the perpetrator and child whisked backstage by the Disney undercover cops.

For parents who use spanking as a disciplinary tool: If you absolutely must spank, please retire to your hotel room first. Be considerate of other vacationers.


I asked them who was supposed to take up the spankings after the young adult leaves home... their spouse? That got me some frowny faces.

I spank my children but can honestly say that when I see another parent do it to their own child, I cringe. There's a certain innate level of protection for those of us who are SANE when it comes to children. However, I disagree about taking your children "home" or in private to spank them. In my opinion, it is the folks who take their kids in private that worry me. It's those that say "want me to take you to the bathroom?" that I want to follow to make sure the kid is alright. I have nothing to hide and have faith in my parenting as much as a parent can, so there is no shame, for me, in what I'm doing.

Yes, as is the case with the PP, sometimes what I am doing can upset others and that is NEVER my intention but realistically speaking, at the end of the day, I believe every one of us will choose what we believe to be the best interest of safety and well being of our children over a reaction that MIGHT be caused of others.

Just thought I might give the "other side" of the argument.

 

[Freesia123]

The Tinkerbell fairy comes to our hotel and brings dollar store prizes to all children who behave. And yes, it has happened that she didn't come for one girl but not the other. It was inpleasant but she shaped up for the rest of the trip.

 

[JustAKid]

I'm not going to give "good vibes" to anyone who would strike a child. It's that easy for me. I don't care how much you're at the end of your rope, it's never okay. You're an adult and you're hitting a little kid. I may get get some serious flames for this opinion, but it's how I feel. I got my butt beat when I was a kid, and you know what? It freakin' hurt. There are better ways to discipline your kid.

Goodness, I hope you don't get "flamed" for the decision you have made as an adult, parent, and an individual for what you feel is right for your kids based on your belief system. We're all different and we all do what is right...FOR US!

There are many judgements in the world, some of the harshest are about how one should parent. We get if from everywhere, all the time. Sometimes it's hard to stick to what you feel is right. I think it's amazing that you have made informed decisions about how you would like to live your life and are sticking by them. Diversity is what makes this world amazing!

Stick to your guns, but keep in mind that while there are disagreements, most of us are doing what we do with good intentions and just following our own belief system.

Did I mention you are doing an amazing job? Cause you are! And I bet your kids are amazing.

 

[pigletto]

I havent read the rest of the thread but I can answer that I try to discipline in public the same way I do at home and that can include a "park your butt on that bench until you are ready to apologize and have settled down" in a theme park.
I learned quickly when my kids were small that they would hold me hostage in public. They knew I wouldn't make a scene so they got more and more bold because all I was going to do is throw a few idle threats their way. Finally we clued in that we had to mean what we said so we left restaurants and grocery stores and followed through. It worked wonders!!!! Now when I say it, they know I mean it.
Now, they are older (9 and 16) and are so great anywhere we take them. However they aren't immune to being hot and tired and moody. In those cases I ignore it until it's hit just plain rude and then a quick "Do we need to walk out of here and go back to the room? ENOUGH!" will usually suffice.
But the best defence is a good offence and I've learned we need a mid day break to avoid tired cranky meltdowns (myself included)

 

[g8torphan]

ScarletFire (or should I say Scarlet>Fire)- love the name

If my son is really out of line I tell him we're going to make him go on Stitch