How do you discipline your kids?

[figmentswife]

Just my 2 cents.... Always have a few small candybars on hand. As others have said being tired and hungry are usually why kids get cranky, add the heat and it can be a recipe for Disney meltdowns.

My nephew (4 at time of travel) lost his freaking mind at animal kingdom, my mom said sit down pulled out a small candybar and water and within 1 minute that kid was ready to go.

People don't realize your blood sugar and electrolytes can get low from the heat and exercise so go into it knowing you need to replenish often.

And by small candybar I mean the mini size, stick them in the drug or freezer each night.

Or if that doesn't work go with the locking them in the car thing, that is way better then yelling at them and beating them behind the castle.... And yes I have seen it happen every trip. Parents trying to get the most from their money pushing kids to go,go,go all day and night, usually around 3-4pm daily is when you see parents screaming at their kids. I too have wanted to stop people and hand them a powerade and candybar.

 

[Groomer Gal]

My kids are fine...but how do I keep my hubby and I from killing each other?

 

[anonymousegirl]

I love all these great suggestions!
My 02 cents: don't threaten a consequence you aren't prepared to enforce. If you threaten to take them back to the hotel if they act out again, then you should be prepared to actually take them back to the hotel for a break.

I have seen countless parents threaten their kiddies (at WDW and elsewhere) with dire consequences and then they don't follow through. The kids cotton on pretty quickly that these are empty promises and their behavior tends to not improve.

 

[bumbershoot]

My kids (8 and 3) are not often perfect in relaxed situations, and with all the heat/humidity plus the excitement of being at Disney... I'm worried!

How do you approach discipline while at Disney? Those of you that are Disney vets, how do your kids usually do? Have you ever had to go beyond a time out? Ever had to leave a park?

I'm hoping mine will behave well, but I want to have a plan just in case.

At Disneyland and 'world, I've found that almost every instance of acting up is because of food, water, or sleep. Too much, too little, and/or the wrong kind.

Disneyland trips were also how we narrowed down DS's food sensitivities (though I hardly call things based on corn syrup "food", so let's call it "unfortunate ingredient sensitivities", shall we?). Watched him lose his mind after a Dole Whip. Got home, looked it up, corn syrup solids (though! not anymore! according to the latest peek I took at the Precision Foods website), that was off the list. After a couple nasty meltdowns that were mystifying I finally looked at the Uncrustables label...corn syrup and HFCS. (and colors) The realization dawned that those nasty moments were, pretty much, MY fault for feeding what amounts to poison-for-my-son to him. Fabulous.

At WDW where it's all so much bigger, we have to be incredibly careful. It's why we generally have a table service LUNCH booked because it gets us off our feet, gets us into a room with a good temperature. Our first trip was the freezing time of December 2010, so it isn't always air conditioning that we want, but just a good temperature. It gets us water and decent food and a chance to regroup.

I try, and I'm always perfecting it more and more, to make sure enough sleep is had by everyone, but I think that's the hardest of all. First week we're all fighting jetlag, second week there are other issues.

I truly do not remember a tantrum or nasty attitude while at DLR or WDW that wasn't caused by issues regarding food, water, or sleep. We've had moments of confusion and whining, sure, and those are generally because of communication, which can be solved in the moment or later on once promises made are kept.

On a side note.... Its not always the kids fault ! It can be stressful for everyone.

Ab-so-stinkin'-lutely. Especially in the case of my family...I mean if one family member hasn't had proper food, the likelihood is that the other members of the family are in the same boat. While I feel that I am the best of the 3 of us at holding it all in and keeping it together, there have been times when DS and DH are both having difficult moments and I'm just barely OK while trying to solve their problems. Thankfully DH has gotten so much better (I still don't like to shop-while-hungry with him, though!), but there have been some moments where I've been a millisecond away from putting HIM into time-out, LOL.

Don't have kids myself, but I've seen enough parents at WDW screaming at, and even smacking their kids when they get out of hand. I don't know why they think that yelling and, God Forbid, hitting a child will calm the situation-it makes me wonder what they'd do to them in private if this is how they "discipline" in public.

I agree that a quick Time Out in a semi-secluded location would probably work best. The child is out of the public eye where they are acting up, and is given time to calm down and think. I've been cranky on occasion there when my feet hurt, I'm hungry, or hot and sweaty. I wouldn't expect a child to handle it any better than me.

You say that you have been cranky, so you know what that's like. Now imagine being the caretaker of at least one child who is also cranky, who is stepping on your last nerve, and who has absolutely no concept of the fact that you're feeling exactly the same way as s/he is, with the added stress of having paid for it all as well.

I think that right there, when you are seeing that behaviour, you are actually seeing the worst. It's come to a head right there. Later, I believe in most cases, you're going to see everyone having food and taking naps and apologizing. I think it's only in the RARE cases that things get worse when in private. What you're seeing is the stresses of the moment, the hour, the day, the vacation, the last 6 months, all coming crashing out.

Try to send good vibes their way next time you see it, rather than wondering what is going on later.

I find kids misbehave when they have some need unmet, as mentioned previously, ie., hunger, rest, thirst, comfort, bathroom, etc.

Parent, too.

One rule I always had that helps is the "One Foot Rule".

When entering a public place, I just have to yell out - The One Foot Rule is now in Effect!

That means each child must keep one foot on the ground at all times. Kids will go a bit crazy the first time you make the rule trying to find a way to be bad and still obey, but there isn't a way. They can't run, climb, skip, hop, hang on que dividers, stand on their head or anything other than stand and walk!

I like it.

 

[jennyjinx3]

My kids are fine...but how do I keep my hubby and I from killing each other?

Ha! Love it!

 

[serene56]

Before our trip in 2010 with 5 year old we sat and discussed good vs bad behavior. Together we came up with a word that will say "take a breather - we had enough. The word was Ursella. So anytime we saw that someone was getting close to melt down we said Ursella. We left the parks a few days-- went back took a swim took a nap and headed back to the park

 

[MYD714]

I love all these great suggestions!
My 02 cents: don't threaten a consequence you aren't prepared to enforce. If you threaten to take them back to the hotel if they act out again, then you should be prepared to actually take them back to the hotel for a break.

I have seen countless parents threaten their kiddies (at WDW and elsewhere) with dire consequences and then they don't follow through. The kids cotton on pretty quickly that these are empty promises and their behavior tends to not improve.

My thoughts exactly. Avoid empty threats. I've heard lots of parents say, "if you don't stop, we're leaving!" Unless a person is willing to actually leave the park, it's a ridiculous tactic for dealing with a tantrum.

I think the tips for preventative measures are fantastic. Heat and exhaustion can quickly catch up with people of all ages. Being prepared with a snack and scheduling cool-down breaks are a great way to beat meltdowns from everyone.

 

[frisbeego]

My kids are fine...but how do I keep my hubby and I from killing each other?

For me, it's my parents. They repeatedly argued over where to go next. I told them that their DGS (almost 3 at the time) didn't care. It was all fun to him.

The next day they had their DGS for the whole day. (I was running/recuperating from the marathon.) I met up with them for dinner. DS was behaving AWFULLY. I asked when he had eaten last. "He had a really late breafast." What time did he eat last? "Around 10 am." How could they go 9 hours without feeding him?? As everyone else has indicated, a candy bar improved his behavior immensely.

BTW, I'm going to try to the one foot rule.

 

[Mother Gothel]

I spank my children. We walk into the bathroom and take care of it or wait until we get back to the room. I don't care what the gvmt and society says about spanking. My parents spanked (not abused) me, my husband was spanked and we turned out loving and non-violent and my children are the same way. My children don't get them too often, but when they are way out of line they get a spanking and usually grounded, too. My children are well-behaved, have wonderful manners, they don't talk back, they openly disagree with us (respectfully), they respect me and their daddy as well as their elders and generally only have to be told something once. Talking repeatedly, threatening to take things away, etc. only works a few times. I believe firmly: spare the rod, spoil the child. Rod doesn't mean a "tool for beating". It means to discipline. My husband and I take no pleasure in it and we usually cry but I take pleasure in knowing that my children behave better than many kids in America today.

For those saying time-out: time-out is fine for a toddler, but not an 8, 10, 12 or 13 year-old.

 

[serene56]

Before our trip in 2010 with 5 year old we sat and discussed good vs bad behavior. Together we came up with a word that will say "take a breather - we had enough. The word was Ursella. So anytime we saw that someone was getting close to melt down we said Ursella. We left the parks a few days-- went back took a swim took a nap and headed back to the park

 

[BlackMagicWoman]

Glass of Water! Crust of Bread!

I just talk to her. She had cried last time about eating at Biergarten. I just talked to her about how she felt, her options etc. I'm lucky that she is a fairly reasonable and well behaved kid. She love Biergarten but no one else in the family wants to go back. LOL

 

[thedonduck]

We are locals, so we really do go home if there is a melt down. However, DS is coming to realize that time outs can happen anywhere, including at Mickey's house. If we are noticing a melt down, we usually go through the are you hungry, wet, tired, hot, etc. If it is a case of "I'm three and want to be independent", but it is not okay for him to do so at the moment, we usually try to find a quiet corner and have a few mins rest (aka a time out in our house). As long as he calms down, we will continue on...if not we really do head home. I will not allow my child to scream, cry, etc. and ruin our day (AND everyone else's vacation).

There are lots of nooks and corners in each park that you can let them unwind for a few minutes. Sometimes that is all it takes.

 

[Magpie]

Just remind yourself that nothing HAS to be done, no ride HAS to be ridden, it's perfectly okay not to see and do everything.

One of the things I've noticed (even in my own family) is that parents sometimes end up discovering their inner child at Disney, in the worst possible way. Parents get hot, cranky, overtired, and they have tantrums. They decide the whole family is going to ride one particular ride, and everyone's going to love it or there'll be heck to pay. They have so much fun riding rides, they forget to get food and water, until it's so late they're ready to bite everyone's head off. They get tunnel vision. And then when bad things happen, they blame everyone around them instead of just finding a way to adapt and go with the flow.

"It's YOUR fault we're stuck in this line!" Well, maybe it is, but why not use this time to get to know the people around us? Maybe blow some bubbles and see how many people ahead of you start screaming and fleeing in terror? (I'm not serious about that last suggestion, as it's been well established on these boards that bubbles in line - except when blown by approved Disney cast members - are exceedingly rude. Though based on some of what I've read here, it might be an awesome way to shorten the line! )

Basically, Disney is the best time to practice your zen. If you're calm and relaxed, chances are your children will be, too. Arrive when you're fresh and perky. Leave before you're all exhausted. Return only once you're feeling perky again.

Oh, and if you want them to sit quietly in a show, tell them while you're in line, when you sit down, and just before the show starts. And be very explicit. "How will you behave? Where will your feet be? Where will your hands be? Where will your bum be? Are you allowed to stand up and dance? Are you allowed to drum on the head of the stranger in front of you?"

 

[DWillowBay]

Set expectations (reasonable and few) before entering the parks. Such as 1) I expect no tantrums. 2) I expect you to use your words to tell me if you are tired, hungry, need a restroom, etc 3) I expect that you will treat people with kindness.

If one of the expectations is unmet, you give one warning. If it is unmet a second time, the child should be removed from as much noise/ people/ distraction as possible and told the reason he / she has been removed from the fun and that he will return to the fun after (1 minute for their age). Require acknowledgment for what they have done and request an apology for interrupting the fun with negativity. Move on! The parenting doesn't stop just because there's a Mouse around!!

 

[disneyfreak33]

For the most part our kids, 2 girls, 7 and 3, are well behaved. They are kids though and do have their fits/drama/meltdowns from time to time. We understand when we go to the parks it is hot and overstimulating so we take the time to treat them like adults and talk it out if something arises. That usually works BUT...

There were a few times I recall from past trips to Disney that is not how it worked out and mommy told them "if you cannot behave and act like young ladies mommy will take you back to the room for a timeout until you can behave."

They know mommy means it. I have no issues whatsoever going back to the room and sitting there until they learn to behave properly. We have done that 3 times out of a dozen trips to Disney.

We stick by what we say and mean what we say and they know it so now if we say that they know they will lose time in the happiest place on earth to a boring room with no tv.

 

[donalduck]

LOL

This is what I would do, too. That, or hop to AK and have them pick their stick.

 

[donalduck]

It works really good you really should try it. You can have peace all day long.

Agree. Remember that the point is to have fun and enjoy yourselves. If your child is having a breakdown, no one is having fun, and at that point, it might be worth it to miss out on some park time to take a break. You won't have a good trip with kids if your goal is to do as much as possible.



I had not thought of this idea, but am putting it in my back pocket for next trip when we might have a rental car!

 

[donalduck]

I agree. When you say that your going to take your belt off and beat them the next time they act up then you should be ready to take it off and start the beatings.

I love all these great suggestions!
My 02 cents: don't threaten a consequence you aren't prepared to enforce. If you threaten to take them back to the hotel if they act out again, then you should be prepared to actually take them back to the hotel for a break.

I have seen countless parents threaten their kiddies (at WDW and elsewhere) with dire consequences and then they don't follow through. The kids cotton on pretty quickly that these are empty promises and their behavior tends to not improve.

 

[donalduck]

I agree with you. I think a parent has the right to spank there kid where ever they want to. It's your kid it's not there kid. You should be able to spank them where ever and when ever you want to. If you want to get up on the stage at the castle during one of the shows and spank them in front of everyone I think that you should beable to do it.

I spank my children. We walk into the bathroom and take care of it or wait until we get back to the room. I don't care what the gvmt and society says about spanking. My parents spanked (not abused) me, my husband was spanked and we turned out loving and non-violent and my children are the same way. My children don't get them too often, but when they are way out of line they get a spanking and usually grounded, too. My children are well-behaved, have wonderful manners, they don't talk back, they openly disagree with us (respectfully), they respect me and their daddy as well as their elders and generally only have to be told something once. Talking repeatedly, threatening to take things away, etc. only works a few times. I believe firmly: spare the rod, spoil the child. Rod doesn't mean a "tool for beating". It means to discipline. My husband and I take no pleasure in it and we usually cry but I take pleasure in knowing that my children behave better than many kids in America today.

For those saying time-out: time-out is fine for a toddler, but not an 8, 10, 12 or 13 year-old.

 

[pattibehan]

BREAKS !!!!!! When you see the warning signs, find a cool spot, have an ice cream or snack, and talk about what happened...we have found that cranky usually equals tired, hot and/or thirsty!

AND..if a meltdown happens, don't let it ruin your day!