How can some people not get why they are overweight?

[Marseeya]

Way upthread someone was discussing the differences in eating in families. My family has it too.

I am a binger/overeater (no purging). No matter how many diets I try, as soon as something becomes stressful, I eat and eat and eat. I usually lose about 30 pounds, then plateau, then gain about 50. I've gained more than 100 pounds in 8 years I've been married. I know I'm overweight. I refuse to look at myself in the mirror and yet, I feel powerless to do anything about it.

My sister is anorexic/bullimic. She is two inches taller than me and weighs less than 80 pounds.

Why does this happen? And how do I stop the cycle? I lie to DH and others about what I eat (except my sister). It's a game/triumph when I eat a candy bar or ice cream sundae. But, if asked, I'll say I ate nothing all day and wait for the kudos for that. I plan my "chores" around where I can stop for food, volunteering to pick up the dry cleaning cause it's near the Dunkin Donuts or going to the mall so I can really get a hot dog. It's messed up, I know. I just don't know how to stop it or how/why I got it.

This kind of reminds me of the whole nature/nurture thing. My adoptive family is all overweight and my parents did all the wrong things as far as eating goes -- fried foods, fatty meats, junk food as staples in the house. I wasn't fat as a kid (lucky!), but those habits stayed with me and I gained about 100 pounds in my 20s.

Then I met my biological family (8 brothers & sisters) and couldn't believe it when I saw them! They were all stick thin (unhealthy thin), and even my b-mom was pretty thin. NO FAIR!!!

I did make a connection, though. Some of them have addiction problems with alcohol & drugs. When I was younger, I was a big binge drinker but then after I had my first child, that transferred itself to food. So I have the addictive personality just like they do, only they never turned to food the way I did. So I can't help but wonder what I'd be like today if my adoptive family would have had better eating habits.

 

[bicker]

Originally Posted by disneysteve
This is an extremely common myth. Muscle DOES NOT weigh more than fat. A pound of muscle weighs the same as a pound of fat.

You'd better think or read thoroughly before you write
Muscle does have a higher density or specific weight than fat. So a certain VOLUME of muscle weighs more than the same VOLUME of fat.

Actually, Steve was correct. The myth is "muscle weighs more than fat." The truth is "a specific volume of muscle weighs more than the same volume of fat." Those critically important details tend to get lost in the retelling, and that's what makes the truth into a myth, as Steve pointed out.

In the end, how much things weigh matters less than how much space they take up, so the truth that matters is that, "a specific amount (mass) of muscle takes up less space than the same amount of fat."

You were right-on-target with your comments about BMI.

 

[DawnCt1]

A pound of feathers weighs as much as a pound of lead.

 

[swilphil]

A pound is a pound is a pound, but if it's a pound of fat or feathers it will fit into a large bowl. If it's a pound of muscle or lead, it will fit into the palm of your hand. That's where exercise comes into the equation, especially working out with weights along with your cardio. It's possible for people to gain pounds and lose inches. If you can, take measurements.

I haven't read the entire thread, but I've seen many people mention eating for emotional reasons. I highly recommend Dr. Phil's Weight Loss Solution book. It deals with the emotional issues and gives some good steps to break habits. I lost 45 lbs. following this plan. If you have an aversion to Dr. Phil, like I know some people do, he got most of his ideas from Dr. Lawliss (with his permission). Dr. Lawliss also has a book about weight loss.

It does take work to eat healthy and lose weight, but you feel so much better when you do. And eating healthy is more expensive, but if you are smart about it you can still eat healthy within a budget.

 

[Mamu]

I think most people who are overweight, know they are and lack the determination and will power to change.

There's no quick fix, it takes a whole new lifestyle change (forever).

I'm a light eater, very active in the spring, summer and fall. The winter is when my pounds are packed on, those cold months are great months to bake and eat.

There are so mant kinds of eating disorders and without help most people cannot do it on their own. They start out great lose wieght, look great and soon go back to the old ways that got them overweight to begin with. We are a society that need to be educated on food and eating disorders.

I'm always amazed at how much some people can eat. I notice it when eating at buffets. Their plates are flowing over with food, like it's their last meal. Or when shopping at the market. Where's the fruit, the veggies, the healthy foods. It's icecream, chips, soda, snacks, prepared foods. We are a society that binges on so many disorders and over eating is up there at the top.

Until a person is willing to make a lifestyle change, count their daily calories, eat healthy, walk whenever possible, drink water instead of soda, eat a veggie or fruit instead of that sweet. Know and get help with their eating order. Obesity will rise.

Like so many I have my weaknesses, always a yes to pasta's and desserts. The things that "Pack on Hips"

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

Someone mentioned all the large people in the scooters. Since I am a fat lady maybe I can get away with saying I have noticed the same. I am sure that many truly need them,because of medical problems it is sometimes difficult to be able to exercise and you might turn to food as one of the few pleasures left to you, BUT that being said many are taking the easy way out and it is NOT doing them any good. And that is why, when people suggest I get a scooter, I do not. Is bad enough as it is and I fear that if I ever sit down it will be the end of me.

Another point though, I fight my weight and have accomplished a lot but am saddened by the people who might look at me and instead of seeing how far I have come only see how far I have to go and judge me. No matter how hard I work I am never likely to be what most consider normal sized and I have accepted that but I plan to keep on trudging along, doing the best I can in that moment of time, and I assume that others are doing the same with whatever bedevils their life.

I understand that many people who are not weight challenged have a problem with understanding why we cannot just eat less and move more (if only it were that easy) but I cannot understand those who abuse alcohol (don't drink), gamble too much (stay away from betting), smoke cigarettes (put out that butt), or even spend beyond their means for Disney vacations (ok, I CAN understand that a tiny bit).

I just hope that some people can see beyond a person's ourward appearance and see what is in their heart. Being judgemental about such problems just leads to more problems. Be part of the solution. Tell a fat person how nice they look sometimes, take a walk with a fat friend, take a chance and get to know a fat person you just might find that they are a lot like you only fluffier and whatever you do, do NOT stare at their grocery cart or buffet plate or laugh at them when you see them trying to jog or exercise.

This fat lady will give up her place in line for a family who is on a trip of a lifetime, let children sit in front for parades and will teach your children to read, for free. Fat is a small part of who I am.

Slightly Goofy

 

[Christine]

Just had to say, Dana, you look GREAT. I wish I knew how to post a picture because it would show a good point. I am 5'7" and weigh a little bit less than you. If any of you saw my picture, you would think I was heavier than dana. All my weight is in my face and arms. I've always had a fairly flat stomach (even after two kids), and my legs remain slim (if not jiggly!!).

 

[chobie]

Someone mentioned all the large people in the scooters. Since I am a fat lady maybe I can get away with saying I have noticed the same. I am sure that many truly need them,because of medical problems it is sometimes difficult to be able to exercise and you might turn to food as one of the few pleasures left to you, BUT that being said many are taking the easy way out and it is NOT doing them any good. And that is why, when people suggest I get a scooter, I do not. Is bad enough as it is and I fear that if I ever sit down it will be the end of me.

Another point though, I fight my weight and have accomplished a lot but am saddened by the people who might look at me and instead of seeing how far I have come only see how far I have to go and judge me. No matter how hard I work I am never likely to be what most consider normal sized and I have accepted that but I plan to keep on trudging along, doing the best I can in that moment of time, and I assume that others are doing the same with whatever bedevils their life.

I understand that many people who are not weight challenged have a problem with understanding why we cannot just eat less and move more (if only it were that easy) but I cannot understand those who abuse alcohol (don't drink), gamble too much (stay away from betting), smoke cigarettes (put out that butt), or even spend beyond their means for Disney vacations (ok, I CAN understand that a tiny bit).

I just hope that some people can see beyond a person's ourward appearance and see what is in their heart. Being judgemental about such problems just leads to more problems. Be part of the solution. Tell a fat person how nice they look sometimes, take a walk with a fat friend, take a chance and get to know a fat person you just might find that they are a lot like you only fluffier and whatever you do, do NOT stare at their grocery cart or buffet plate or laugh at them when you see them trying to jog or exercise.

This fat lady will give up her place in line for a family who is on a trip of a lifetime, let children sit in front for parades and will teach your children to read, for free. Fat is a small part of who I am.

Slightly Goofy

Good post. No one is perfect, everyone has an area of their life that could be improved, whether its a physical attribute or a personality trait. Overweight people have the misfortune of having their "faults" being visible to the rest of the world (although we have no idea if a person is heavy because of problems out of their control). I think it makes some people feel superior to to judge fat people.

I'm at what is considered to be a healthy weight, but I don't have a particularly healthy diet and I rarely exercise.

Maybe someone who is overweight "lacks the will power" to lose it, but I'm sure just about everyone can find an area of their life that needs to be improved but they also the "lack the will power to change".

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Good post. No one is perfect, everyone has an area of their life that could be improved, whether its a physical attribute or a personality trait. Overweight people have the misfortune of having their "faults" being visible to the rest of the world (although we have no idea if a person is heavy because of problems out of their control). I think it makes some people feel superior to to judge fat people.

I'm at what is considered to be a healthy weight, but I don't have a particularly healthy diet and I rarely exercise.

Maybe someone who is overweight "lacks the will power" to lose it, but I'm sure just about everyone can find an area of their life that needs to be improved but they also the "lack the will power to change".

I believe the majority of people posting on this thread are not being judgmental, they are concerned for people's health. As a former "fat" person, I know that is where I am coming from. And believe me, there are many OUTWARD things that people are judged on every day, not just their weight.

 

[chobie]

I believe the majority of people posting on this thread are not being judgmental, they are concerned for people's health. As a former "fat" person, I know that is where I am coming from. And believe me, there are many OUTWARD things that people are judged on every day, not just their weight.

I'm not talking about the people on this thread, I'm talking about people in general and there is a judgmental attitude toward fat people. I'm a former fat person myself and it was quite the eye opener to see how people I knew, as well as strangers treated me differently. I have to say, I have a hard time believing that most people are more concerned about other's health, rather than the just exhibiting our societal bias toward fat people. I've been one too, so I can talk from experience as well.

What other outward thing, that is considered to be a personal failing of the person having it, are people judged on besides their wieght?

 

[Viking]

Someone mentioned all the large people in the scooters. Since I am a fat lady maybe I can get away with saying I have noticed the same. I am sure that many truly need them,because of medical problems it is sometimes difficult to be able to exercise and you might turn to food as one of the few pleasures left to you, BUT that being said many are taking the easy way out and it is NOT doing them any good. And that is why, when people suggest I get a scooter, I do not. Is bad enough as it is and I fear that if I ever sit down it will be the end of me.

Another point though, I fight my weight and have accomplished a lot but am saddened by the people who might look at me and instead of seeing how far I have come only see how far I have to go and judge me. No matter how hard I work I am never likely to be what most consider normal sized and I have accepted that but I plan to keep on trudging along, doing the best I can in that moment of time, and I assume that others are doing the same with whatever bedevils their life.

I understand that many people who are not weight challenged have a problem with understanding why we cannot just eat less and move more (if only it were that easy) but I cannot understand those who abuse alcohol (don't drink), gamble too much (stay away from betting), smoke cigarettes (put out that butt), or even spend beyond their means for Disney vacations (ok, I CAN understand that a tiny bit).

I just hope that some people can see beyond a person's ourward appearance and see what is in their heart. Being judgemental about such problems just leads to more problems. Be part of the solution. Tell a fat person how nice they look sometimes, take a walk with a fat friend, take a chance and get to know a fat person you just might find that they are a lot like you only fluffier and whatever you do, do NOT stare at their grocery cart or buffet plate or laugh at them when you see them trying to jog or exercise.

This fat lady will give up her place in line for a family who is on a trip of a lifetime, let children sit in front for parades and will teach your children to read, for free. Fat is a small part of who I am.

Slightly Goofy

As you mentioned drinkers in that context:
If you want to help a heavy drinker, you have to confront him with his situation to make him get professional help like AA. The First thing people do at AA is to admit that the have a problem.
If you apply the same to fat people, it would be the wrong approach to tell them 'Why, you're looking great today!!'. It would be also wrong to make harsh remarks.
I often see obese people in our gym, unfortunately most of them show up for a couple of weeks and then give up. But those who stay can be highly motivated by telling them 'Whow, you lost a lot of weight' or 'I observed you're staying longer on the treadmill than last month'. Things like that motivate.
You can really see how you make their day by giving them positive feedback.
But I would never go so far to tell them 'You're looking great' if they're still in the 'Before Group'. A) I would consider it a lie, and B) What, if they really believe that crap and stop working out ?

And don't weigh yourself more than once a week!!!
As another poster said before: Use the mirror, observe your clothes getting slack at the hips - and perhaps getting tighter around the shoulders. I went from waist 36 to 33 in pants, but from L to XL in shirts in two years / and I'm not yet finished - while not losing a pound of weight!!

 

[Teejay32]

I have to say, I have a hard time believing that most people are more concerned about other's health, rather than the just exhibiting our societal bias toward fat people. I've been one too, so I can talk from experience as well.

societal bias, crossing over into self-righteous indignant "explain your excess weight so we can hold you accountable for it" social obsession. It's very strange.

 

[Maleficent2]

was absent on the day they taught compassion, empathy & understanding.

By the way Dr.

There are many reason's for being overweight and not every overweight person eats unhealthy food.

I did not know you before but now I feel I have a better understanding of you as a person and I don't think I care to get to know you any better.

 

[chadfromdallas]

was absent on the day they taught compassion, empathy & understanding.

By the way Dr.

There are many reason's for being overweight and not every overweight person eats unhealthy food.

I did not know you before but now I feel I have a better understanding of you as a person and I don't think I care to get to know you any better.

It looks like someone was absent the day they taught reading. If you go back and look at the Dr's posts, you will see he already stated there are many reasons for someone to be overweight. Personally, with comments like that, I don't think he would mind you not getting to know him better.

 

[Marseeya]

I think most people who are overweight, know they are and lack the determination and will power to change.

Ah yes, the old "willpower and determination" line. Do you really believe that's all it takes? That "most" overweight people just lack determination and willpower?

Puhleeze.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

What other outward thing, that is considered to be a personal failing of the person having it, are people judged on besides their wieght?

Some people may consider a lack of stylish clothes to be a failing, a bad haircut to be a failing, bad skin to be a failing.

And then there are those things not considered failings that people are judged on as well, such as gender, ethnicity, disability, etc.

 

[snoopy]

societal bias, crossing over into self-righteous indignant "explain your excess weight so we can hold you accountable for it" social obsession. It's very strange.

Very strange indeed. Its the new thing to rip people up for, in the 90's it was smoking, now its the fat people nazi's.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

What other outward thing, that is considered to be a personal failing of the person having it, are people judged on besides their wieght?

My Sister is quite thin even after gaining 45+ lbs with 2 pregnancies (each time then she lost it). She is 5'4" and weighs 110lbs. She is trying to put lbs. on while also becoming healthier overall with exercise. She is trying to do this with help from her Doctor.

She is judged all of the time for being too thin. People watch what she eats, how much she eats, and make comments to her about it. I used to get the comments also when I worked. We want to hear "you eat like a squirrel" as much as an overweight person wants to hear "you eat like a pig".

 

[Miss Jasmine]

My Sister is quite thin even after gaining 45+ lbs with with 2 pregnancies. She is 5'4" and weighs 110lbs. She is trying to put lbs. on while also becoming healthier overall with exercise. She is trying to do this with help from her Doctor.

She is judged all of the time for being too thin. People watch what she eats, how much she eats, and make comments to her about it. I used to get the comments also when I worked. We want to hear "you eat like a squirrel" as much as an overweight person wants to hear "you eat like a pig".

Good point!

 

[Maleficent2]

It looks like someone was absent the day they taught reading.

No I was there.
I read his op several days ago and it read alittle different than the version that is there now. He has changed the op from it's orginial version.

I just went and reread it now. And I agree that the way it reads now that my comments may have seemed alittle harsh.

And if those are his true feelings then I apologize. I have had a severe cold and should have taken the time to reread the entire thread before posting, my bad.

Mal