How can some people not get why they are overweight?

[Teejay32]

whoops. my comment was in no way directed toward Steve. I just see us becoming fat-phobic as a group...there's all this attention paid to overweight people and I'm seeing an epidemic of people starving themselves. Hello? Maybe I'm the only one who does see it.

FTR I don't own a scale and won't have one in my house. I could guess what I weigh, but rarely ever know for sure.

 

[Cruise04]

But I don't fit into what is "pretty". I must look like I've really "let myself go". I must "not try" Even though I work out at the gym 4-5 days a week. Why don't
"I get" why I am fat? Wow what I loser I must be.

Alright go ahead tell me what is wrong with me, or think that I am lying or whatever. Everyone else does. It's so easy to criticize when you aren't living in this body.

I feel for you and that is exactly the mentality of people that cause for eating disorders. The society in this country just can't see people outside of their body shapes and sizes, if you aren't thin forget it, you're automatically killing yourself and you're worth nothing - I know because I've been there too. And I have struggled since I was 8, lost 50 pounds in less than 6 months in high school, kept it off by not eating breakfast, having a candy bar and diet coke for lunch, and lucky if I ate dinner (very rarely did I) and I was in volleyball and after that worked out incessently - sometimes over an hour a day, 7 days a week and then some. It's sad that we can't just be who we are and people can't accept that - I've done everything besides going back to what I use to do to get the weight off and people who have never been here don't understand - all they do is point fingers and say we're lazy and stupid and don't try.

 

[Sleepy]

FTR I don't own a scale and won't have one in my house. I could guess what I weigh, but rarely ever know for sure.

Putting on my clothes or looking at myself in a mirror is all the scale I need.

 

[Christine]

whoops. my comment was in no way directed toward Steve. I just see us becoming fat-phobic as a group...there's all this attention paid to overweight people and I'm seeing an epidemic of people starving themselves. Hello? Maybe I'm the only one who does see it.

FTR I don't own a scale and won't have one in my house. I could guess what I weigh, but rarely ever know for sure.

Chicken or the egg? Are we fat phobic now because obesity is exploding or are people getting fatter because of the media hype on thinness?

In my circle, I don't see *anyone* starving themselves at all, although I hear that eating disorders are on the rise. I don't see it. I do see the "overating disorder" of which I can claim membership!

 

[Caradana]

Gotta tell you, I see Lindsay Lohan on the news or whatever, but I don't see an anorexia epidemic around me at nearly the rate that I see a binging epidemic. I don't see an effect where "society is increasingly fat-phobic, so more people are starving themselves." This isn't true. The average weight of women is climbing, and the main drivers of anorexia are not usually related to "society wants me to be skinny" as much as they are "I want to be able to control something in my out-of-control life."
There was a really heartfelt post a few pages back from a woman who talked about binging, planning her day around food ... I think that's incredibly common and it brings with it painful shame. I expect that somewhere around half of the women who've read this thread are food-hiders who binge late at night or in the car. I'm not sure what the main drivers of that behavior, and the obesity it yields, are. It might be something like "I give my whole life to other people and this is the comfort I give to myself." It might be "it is futile for me to even try to maintain a moderate weight, screw society's expectations." It might be "I'm fat but it's not my fault and I am ANGRY." I'm not sure what it is, but it's far more pervasive than anorexia at this point.

 

[Teejay32]

Ya know, it just occurred to me....my "twins." My DD and my nephew were born four days apart and grew up like siblings. They'll be 10 this summer. Nephew is 50 pounds overweight at least. DD is not, she's big for her age and always has been, but very weight-conscious, and so is every other girl I know in that age group. (I befriended a 9-year-old anorexic in late 2002; I've told that story here before.) So I get to see both things in practice almost daily - the bad habits and the pervasive concern with staying thin. I don't know which came first. All I know is that they both exist.

 

[chobie]

My Sister is quite thin even after gaining 45+ lbs with 2 pregnancies (each time then she lost it). She is 5'4" and weighs 110lbs. She is trying to put lbs. on while also becoming healthier overall with exercise. She is trying to do this with help from her Doctor.

She is judged all of the time for being too thin. People watch what she eats, how much she eats, and make comments to her about it. I used to get the comments also when I worked. We want to hear "you eat like a squirrel" as much as an overweight person wants to hear "you eat like a pig".

It's wrong, IMO, for people to make coments about people being too thin as well. However we don't see nearly as many stories media, or threads on the Dis for that matter, berating people for "not having the will power to make themselves less thin", then do we?

Yes, they will make comments about famous people who are too thin, but they also plaster pictures of stars in swimsuits all over the media when they put on a few pounds as well.


I do think overeating is more of a problem than under eating in this society. However I believe that the psychological problems underlying overeating are real, painful and not always overcome by sheer will power.

Also I think people say things like "you eat like a squirrel" because they are jealous pf you and your sister fo not having to struggle with weight gain and they watch what eat to see how you stay thin.

 

[snoopy]

Gotta tell you, I see Lindsay Lohan on the news or whatever, but I don't see an anorexia epidemic around me at nearly the rate that I see a binging epidemic. I don't see an effect where "society is increasingly fat-phobic, so more people are starving themselves." This isn't true. The average weight of women is climbing, and the main drivers of anorexia are not usually related to "society wants me to be skinny" as much as they are "I want to be able to control something in my out-of-control life."
There was a really heartfelt post a few pages back from a woman who talked about binging, planning her day around food ... I think that's incredibly common and it brings with it painful shame. I expect that somewhere around half of the women who've read this thread are food-hiders who binge late at night or in the car. I'm not sure what the main drivers of that behavior, and the obesity it yields, are. It might be something like "I give my whole life to other people and this is the comfort I give to myself." It might be "it is futile for me to even try to maintain a moderate weight, screw society's expectations." It might be "I'm fat but it's not my fault and I am ANGRY." I'm not sure what it is, but it's far more pervasive than anorexia at this point.

How about "I go to work, I pay my taxes, I don't do drugs or drink, but I like to eat. Let me have my vice, thank you?!" At 20/25 pounds overweight, I guess I'm in the obese category. I'm not angry over it, or stressing about it. I'd like to be thinner, but not as much as I like to eat what I want for the most part. I do eat mostly in moderation, but I can't do deprivation, and feel no guilt over that fact.

 

[chobie]

Some people may consider a lack of stylish clothes to be a failing, a bad haircut to be a failing, bad skin to be a failing.

And then there are those things not considered failings that people are judged on as well, such as gender, ethnicity, disability, etc.

Well we're not talking about judging people for things that are not considered failings are we? And since I personally have weighed in on this board about the evil of people being judged for attributes they have no control over many, many times, I think that your last statement should go without saying, unless of course your trying to start an argument.


As to your first statement, why don't you start a thread entitled "How can people not get that they have a lack of stylish clothes" and let's see how long that thread gets.

 

[chobie]

How about "I go to work, I pay my taxes, I don't do drugs or drink, but I like to eat. Let me have my vice, thank you?!" At 20/25 pounds overweight, I guess I'm in the obese category. I'm not angry over it, or stressing about it. I'd like to be thinner, but not as much as I like to eat what I want for the most part. I do eat mostly in moderation, but I can't do deprivation, and feel no guilt over that fact.

Works for me. And unlike smoking which harms Innocent bystanders with secondhand smoke, and drinking which causes many car fatalities every year, your vice is not harming anyone. In fact, weren't there some studies published recently that showed being slightly overweight as being healthy?

 

[Cantw8]

How about "I go to work, I pay my taxes, I don't do drugs or drink, but I like to eat. Let me have my vice, thank you?!" At 20/25 pounds overweight, I guess I'm in the obese category. I'm not angry over it, or stressing about it. I'd like to be thinner, but not as much as I like to eat what I want for the most part. I do eat mostly in moderation, but I can't do deprivation, and feel no guilt over that fact.

You go, Snoopy... I couldn't agree more. I think some people need to put down their copies of Psychology Today and realize that not everything is driven by a surpressed, hidden motive I get so tired of the "you need to get to the root of the problem" mentality when it comes to everything from being overweight to your child acting out in school. Food Good.

 

[AuntieM03]

Someone mentioned all the large people in the scooters. Since I am a fat lady maybe I can get away with saying I have noticed the same. I am sure that many truly need them,because of medical problems it is sometimes difficult to be able to exercise and you might turn to food as one of the few pleasures left to you, BUT that being said many are taking the easy way out and it is NOT doing them any good. And that is why, when people suggest I get a scooter, I do not. Is bad enough as it is and I fear that if I ever sit down it will be the end of me.

Another point though, I fight my weight and have accomplished a lot but am saddened by the people who might look at me and instead of seeing how far I have come only see how far I have to go and judge me. No matter how hard I work I am never likely to be what most consider normal sized and I have accepted that but I plan to keep on trudging along, doing the best I can in that moment of time, and I assume that others are doing the same with whatever bedevils their life.

I understand that many people who are not weight challenged have a problem with understanding why we cannot just eat less and move more (if only it were that easy) but I cannot understand those who abuse alcohol (don't drink), gamble too much (stay away from betting), smoke cigarettes (put out that butt), or even spend beyond their means for Disney vacations (ok, I CAN understand that a tiny bit).

I just hope that some people can see beyond a person's ourward appearance and see what is in their heart. Being judgemental about such problems just leads to more problems. Be part of the solution. Tell a fat person how nice they look sometimes, take a walk with a fat friend, take a chance and get to know a fat person you just might find that they are a lot like you only fluffier and whatever you do, do NOT stare at their grocery cart or buffet plate or laugh at them when you see them trying to jog or exercise.

This fat lady will give up her place in line for a family who is on a trip of a lifetime, let children sit in front for parades and will teach your children to read, for free. Fat is a small part of who I am.

Slightly Goofy

Beautifully said!

 

[Teejay32]

At 20/25 pounds overweight, I guess I'm in the obese category.

Says who?

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Well we're not talking about judging people for things that are not considered failings are we? And since I personally have weighed in on this board about the evil of people being judged for attributes they have no control over many, many times, I think that your last statement should go without saying, unless of course your trying to start an argument.


As to your first statement, why don't you start a thread entitled "How can people not get that they have a lack of stylish clothes" and let's see how long that thread gets.

I was not trying to be argumentative, you asked me what I thought and I answered. People are judged on multiple things each and every day, that's all I was saying.

 

[whtyger97]

I went to the doctors office for a "well woman examine" (get get a bc rx). Now I haven't really been to a doctor in 7 years. I know that I am overweight ( 200+ at 5'4) and expected that the doctor might address this in the visit. I knew there were some this I do 'wrong' dietarily like drink to much pop, but overall my diet wasn't that bad. I just seem like even when I try to cut back, or eat healthier it doesn't help (I'm bad with the exercise but even when I add that not much results). Also I embaressingly started growning hair on my chin.

So imagine my surprise when my doctor asks me if I've had problems trying to lose weight because he thinks I have a medical condition linked to the hair on my chin that might make it hard for me to loose weight. It was so refreshing to me that instead of getting 'yelled at' I was actually given insight into the problem. He also hit on some secondary indicators which I hadn't mentioned as additional symptoms. It was so dead on it was scary, it was like it all makes sense now. People who think weight is only about diet and/or exercise need to understand there are ALOT of factors.

I also think we as a society seem to feel the need to have everyone fit one mold. I think that if you and your doctor are happy with your health/weight that's all that really matters.

 

[snoopy]

Says who?

One of those charts someone had up here a few pages back....I typed in my 5'10", 170 pounds, and got told I was obese.

Then again, I'm munching on a very yum bagel with a generous amount of cream cheese as we speak, so what more could I expect? And I gotta tell you, it tastes GOOD!

 

[Caradana]

You go, Snoopy... I couldn't agree more. I think some people need to put down their copies of Psychology Today and realize that not everything is driven by a surpressed, hidden motive I get so tired of the "you need to get to the root of the problem" mentality when it comes to everything from being overweight to your child acting out in school. Food Good.

Oh man, I totally disagree! You think anyone binges because "food is good?" If we don't think about why we do what we do ... what's the point of being human, really?

 

[Caradana]

whtyger97 - was it PCOS? I suspect that might be the cause of a LOT of issues women have with weight ...

 

[snoopy]

Oh man, I totally disagree! You think anyone binges because "food is good?" If we don't think about why we do what we do ... what's the point of being human, really?

Thats why I binge. Was I supposed to have any other reason besides I have the munchies and the only thing that will do is eating what I most crave?

 

[dumboiu]

whtyger97 - was it PCOS? I suspect that might be the cause of a LOT of issues women have with weight ...

I agree. Hormones (out of wack) can wreak havoc on the body. PCOS is a real problem. Treatments vary, but none can really reverse the problem.