High School Volleyball Try-Out Drama (Out of Town)

[debster812]

Like Sam Gordon, our state has all the pertinent dates listed on their website (when the 1st practice can occur, when the 1st game can occur, how many practices they are allowed to have prior to the 1st game, how many games per week are allowed (by sport)). While the official communication from the OP's daughter's team may have just come out with 3 week's notice, the dates have probably been fairly common knowledge for a while.

And don't get me wrong, it stinks for the OP, because they had their eye on the prize for the older DD heading to college, and this detail fell by the wayside. If we were in a similar situation, I would probably get my child on a plane home early, have them bunk with friends/teammate, and make it to tryouts.

 

[Colleen27]

So that's two weeks every year any family should be able to schedule vacation without being REQUIRED to attend a school team sponsored activity. Why they have the same "dead" period for summer and fall sports (it's usually the first two weeks of July) as they do for winter and spring sports I don't understand. I think they should have different dead periods.

I believe the dead period only factors into those states/schools that follow NFHS rules/guidelines.

ETA: Reading some more, the "dead period" may only be for my state. I saw the dates listed under "KHSAA/National Federation Standard Calendar" so that's why I thought the dates may be the same nationwide.

Yeah, I think that's a state thing. Neither of the fall sports my kids have played had any two-week "dead period" during the summer. The week of the 4th is generally free unless you're playing summer league (another thing that bothers me about volleyball - the not-officially-mandatory but unofficially-required summer league for varsity players, hosted at a school 30 miles from here, which starts during our school's finals because the host school gets out earlier than us). Other than that it is pretty much all summer long.

 

[HeatherC]

I agree that I would just let Dd decide what to do. I also know that they can't make exceptions for one player because they will have to do it for all.

Unfortunately, what we have seen with three kids heavily involved in sports is that ...especially at the Varsity level, the coach already knows who is pretty much going to be on the team even before the tryouts. Of course, there may be one or two surprise players who make the team, but by the time they are juniors and seniors, those coaches already know who they will have playing and the "tryouts" are a bunch of you know what.

The sad part about it is that it has to completely mess up your summer plans. I hope all goes well with the whole thing.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I know if I was your daughter I would be pretty pissed. It really sounds like she puts a lot of work into being successful at Volleyball. I can't believe the coach will not budge for a Senior who has been on the team for years. I am going to be a Junior this year and although I don't play sports I know if I had dedicated a lot of time on something I would like to play, but on the other hand I would be angry with the coach and maybe just skip the team just because the way the coach is acting. The bottom line it should be your daughters decision.

I read the first half of this assuming you would be angry at your parents for putting ALL of you being there to drop your one year older sister off at school over you being at try-outs (not that the OP is doing this, it was a simple oversight which she is trying to correct now).

I don'T see why the coach needs to allow a make up try out and in fact understand many of the posted reasons this is not a good idea. Anger at the coach seems so misplaces here.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I understand the coach can't show favoritism but to only give families 3 weeks notice during the Summer where most families take vacations is not a lot of time. There at least should have been a meeting set up before the try outs were to schedule to get parents input on what might work for both parties. I don't think that was offered.

Am I reading this correctly? You feel there should be a meeting between coaching staff and all people who want to try out, and their families, to try to find some magical try out date that everyone can easily attend? I cannot even begin to imagine the nightmare that would be.
Lots of reasons this will not work, starting with the time almost certainly has to be in a pretty small window set by the state or district.

Maybe things work differently in South Africa but in the states sports try outs, band and theatre auditions, etc are held whenever the coach or director says they will be (often with input from the school about when the space is available to be used--another big consideration, and with input from the state, etc about when these things need to be done). Parents and students do not get to dictate these things, and no one should have made it to senior year without learning this.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Sorry for your dilemma OP, I guess I'd let DD have the final decision on this one since she's old enough to understand sacrifice and consequences. The whole attitude of sports worship and sports taking priority over family obligations is troubling but I don't see it changing any time soon.

I agree with this.

I think this new thinking from many coaches and parents that school sports has to be taken so over the top seriously is ridiculous.

 

[sam_gordon]

I wonder what people would be saying if this was try outs for the high school play/musical? Would they be as insistent that an exception be made or tryouts delayed?

 

[mjkacmom]

Two years ago, ds17 got a callback for the HS play. He had a soccer game, so he wasn't able to get a role. Fortunately, he was able to go to his callback this year, and got a role. Since auditions are always around the same time each year, we will see what happens this fall.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I wonder what people would be saying if this was try outs for the high school play/musical? Would they be as insistent that an exception be made or tryouts delayed?

If a coach really wants someone on their team or in their play trust me an exception will be made. Just like in real life.

 

[declansdad]

If a coach really wants someone on their team or in their play trust me an exception will be made. Just like in real life.

As a coach for over 30 years, at all levels, I will tell you this is not true for most coaches.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

As a coach for over 30 years, at all levels, I will tell you this is not true for most coaches.

As a mother of previous high school athletes I beg to differ in my experience.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I agree with this.

I think this new thinking from many coaches and parents that school sports has to be taken so over the top seriously is ridiculous.

Insisting that every player be at every practice and have little to no time frame when there are breaks that family could travel, etc requiring a near year round commitment is absolutely too much and seems to be a newer trend.
Expecting that those who are interested in being on the team, or in the cast, etc who up for try outs or auditions is not new or out of line, IMO. I know my father talks about the Boy Scout Jamboree he missed in highschool so he would not miss football try outs (and how much he loved the jamboree the next year, held a different time frame). And I know that as a high schooler, if we missed auditions, we were not cast in shows. Sometimes you have to make choices in life.

 

[mamamary]

At the end of every school year in June at my kids high school there are sports meetings for the upcoming fall season. My dd is a cheerleader so in June she attends the cheer meeting for the fall season. At this meeting all forms are given out (medical, physical, etc). On these forms is a list of when the tryouts are and when practices will start. Also, in our school district we have a mandatory concussions session that is the day before tryouts start. Also, my dd's cheer coach sends out an additional email to everyone letting them know this information also. Luckily we have always been around that week which is the second week in August. Now this year my extended family was going away and of course it's the same week. I had to let my family know that we weren't planning on going anyway this year but if we were we could have only gone for the weekend portion of the trip.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

IMO, the short notice is inexcusable. I never had to deal with that nonsense for any of my HS activities, nor did anyone else. My dad also coached HS sports for 30+ years and would have never done that to the kids.

But, it is what it is. Maybe if the coach has a crummy team due to a couple good players who miss tryouts (and therefore miss the team) better planning for next season will be the result.

 

[declansdad]

IMO, the short notice is inexcusable. I never had to deal with that nonsense for any of my HS activities, nor did anyone else. My dad also coached HS sports for 30+ years and would have never done that to the kids.

But, it is what it is. Maybe if the coach has a crummy team due to a couple good players who miss tryouts (and therefore miss the team) better planning for next season will be the result.

It wasn't short notice, this was a team the daughter had played on before and most try-outs happen around the same time each year. The OP even said this in a later post.

 

[declansdad]

As a mother of previous high school athletes I beg to differ in my experience.

I guess you have had to deal with some bad coaches.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I guess you have had to deal with some bad coaches.

My kids have had mostly phenomenal coaches.

 

[declansdad]

My kids have had mostly phenomenal coaches.

Not if they change the rules to make exceptions for some kids and not others. If a kid truly wants to play for a team, they will find a way to attend the try-outs.

If they have an injury and are unable to compete at that time but are still willing to show up, yes you could look at the exception but if it is simply poor planning on their part, they need to accept the consequences.

 

[morgan98]

I don't have kids, so I don't have a horse in this race. I can kind of see both sides. While I understand the commitment of high school sports, I think it is definitely a commitment for the whole family and one that should be taken in to consideration before the athlete gets involved. In many cases, the athlete has siblings of different ages ad the parents have their own obligations, so I would find it annoying to have to schedule a vacation that may only happen once a year around a fifteen year old (for example).

However, as I say in other posts about missing school for vacation, etc. there are expectations and being at tryout would seen to be very important. Even if some of you say it is only a formality, it is a slippery slope when one gets to miss tryouts and still makes the team. It could most definitely be perceived as favoritism. I also think the attitude about the kid being so good it shouldn't matter if she misses tryouts is not a good attitude to have.

About the age of the OPs daughter is when I had to start missing out on family vacations due to other obligations. I missed a spring break trip to Florida and two trips to Europe with my family between the ages of 17 and 19. Life went on.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Not if they change the rules to make exceptions for some kids and not others. If a kid truly wants to play for a team, they will find a way to attend the try-outs.

If they have an injury and are unable to compete at that time but are still willing to show up, yes you could look at the exception but if it is simply poor planning on their part, they need to accept the consequences.

Not going to argue back and forth with you. I stand by my opinion.