Help with school note/advice

[Canooknic]

Your kids are in what, second grade? Yea, I don't think missing two weeks at that point in their educational careers is going to have a lasting impact. Missing a week (to say nothing of two) in high school (and possibly middle school) CAN have a negative impact. Will parents expect teachers to take time out of class to teach what the kids couldn't learn on their own? Let's be honest, sometimes the books/worksheets/websites don't explain things as well as a human being. A teacher can see where a student is hitting a road block and can help them work through it.

Not that it's relevant, but my children are in a French Immersion school so every single day is important as they are learning a different language 100% of their school day. I was just commenting because of the difference in schooling - family time is highly encouraged within our area - I wasn't comparing my Grade 3's to high school in any way.

 

[Magpie]

Every single kid that skips school has a psychological issue? Over half my graduating class would have been in counseling! ! Talk about clogging a system.

We skipped because we didn't want to be at school. We liked the idea of having a few hours of total freedom.

My brother just simply didn't like getting up in the morning. He would oversleep and then not go in.

Some skip school because its a rebellion against their parent. Some just hate school. A few are actually smart enough that they are bored.

Your kid skipping school is not a failure of parenting. Not taking action and doing something about it could be.

If you're in rebellion against a parent, you don't need court - you need family therapy.

If you hate school - it depends on why you hate school. You may need a different learning environment. Or someone's got to do something about the bullying you're enduring. Regardless, you don't need court.

If you are smart enough that you're bored - then you definitely need a different learning environment! Our whole congregated gifted program was created in response to smart kids dropping out of school. And, really that's the crux of the issue right there - instead of dragging smart kids and their parents into court and punishing them, we created a program designed to entice them into staying of their own free will!

I do agree with your last statement, but there's often a limit to what a parent can do about a child who doesn't want to go to school.

By the way, I gave my kids a choice - go to school, or don't. It's not a choice I had, because my mother had to work and couldn't teach me herself, or afford to pay someone else to teach me. But I WAS fortunate enough to be able to give my kids that freedom. I taught them they didn't have to stay anywhere they were miserable or being treated unfairly (a lesson I sincerely hope carries forward into their relationships and working life). And interestingly - they both chose to go to public school. They never once played hooky or skipped school. They rarely blew off homework. They actually wanted to be at school!

If a child is skipping school, I strongly feel they don't need the legal system threatening them. They need to have someone ask, why? And then they need to have THAT issue addressed.

That's what I mean about treating it as a "psychological" issue versus a criminal one.

 

[Sabeking]

I have two DD's that are in highschool. They have missed days for various reasons, sick, vacation ( we will be gone Monday and Tuesday of Thanksgiving week. My youngest daughter works sometimes during the week modeling and acting. I have written notes saying they will not be there. No other explanation; frankly I don't think it's anybody's business and I was teacher for eight years. Three days would not be a blip on my radar. Three days don't make or break college acceptance in my opinion. Enjoy your vacation and your family, that's why we have them.

 

[mom2grace]

Our district won't give any work out ahead of time. I would just call them in sick each day. It's none of the school's business. And yes, I have a high schooler and I'm a teacher's kid to boot!

 

[Momto2minniemice]

There is so much to learn at Disney. Whole lessons could be created around Disney. Epcot and Animal Kingdom alone are great examples.
Our family is never let's school get in the way of learning. I have a 7th grader taking all honors with a high school level class and a kindergarten student. We do ask for assignments ahead of time. And the girls understand that they will have work when we return. After just returning my oldest has spent hours on homework. When I asked her if she would do it again she said yes. She did say Early in the year is better than later. Honestly I think it is crazy over how much control a school thinks they have.
Dear Ms. Jones,
The Jones family will be out of town from X to X to spend quality time as a family. Any work that be accomplished during the trip would be great. Sally will have very limited access to wifi via a phone and no access to a computer. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at my email.

V/R
Ms Jones
AKA Sally's mom

 

[pixeemom]

Don't let this ruin your trip. It wouldn't be my first choice to pull kids out of school for a vacation, but I'm not morally opposed to it. If it's a once in a blue moon thing, I see no problem with it whatsoever. If it becomes a pattern, where the child is missing time repeatedly, then sure I would be against that. I can assure you the teachers and school have dealt with it before, and will again. Not a big deal, especially because it's only a few days. Putting the moral dilemma aside, from a "missing school" perspective, what's the difference if they're out on vacation or out sick? They're still out of school either way. In this case, you can be proactive and ask what work they'll be missing and try to help your kids make it up.

It really does happen very often here where I live. WDW is only 7-8 hours drive away. Tons of families are AP holders. In fact, we're just coming off fall break, today is their first day back, they had all of last week off. There were LOTS of kids missing the Friday before break started, as many went to WDW. I'm sure there will be a few stragglers missing today, as they return from WDW.

You sound like a parent who takes their kids schooling seriously and I'm willing to bet you'll be sure that your kids catch up on work they miss. Don't sweat it, you'll be fine. The kids will be fine. The school will be fine. Go and have fun!!

thank you so much for your reply!!!
it meant a lot!!
i sent all the teachers emails and also wrote notes (we are off today and yesterday) i did hear back from 1 teacher already and she emailed my daughter the worksheets....i am feeling a little bit of ease now, thank you!

 

[pixeemom]

There is so much to learn at Disney. Whole lessons could be created around Disney. Epcot and Animal Kingdom alone are great examples.
Our family is never let's school get in the way of learning. I have a 7th grader taking all honors with a high school level class and a kindergarten student. We do ask for assignments ahead of time. And the girls understand that they will have work when we return. After just returning my oldest has spent hours on homework. When I asked her if she would do it again she said yes. She did say Early in the year is better than later. Honestly I think it is crazy over how much control a school thinks they have.
Dear Ms. Jones,
The Jones family will be out of town from X to X to spend quality time as a family. Any work that be accomplished during the trip would be great. Sally will have very limited access to wifi via a phone and no access to a computer. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at my email.

V/R
Ms Jones
AKA Sally's mom

awesome thank you so much for your input!!!

 

[pixeemom]

As others have stated, you really need to check the school's policy on their website, and contact the teachers, pronto. I would consider this a lesson learned--some schools consider vacations no big deal, others have very harsh consequences. With 4 kids, one in HS, I'm kind of surprised you didn't look into this at the beginning planning stages of your trip. I'm not trying to be critical--it's your family and your business--but I feel sorry for your HS aged kid. Classes can be challenging, and sometimes the make-up work policy causes grades to drop severely, as others have stated. I know my DD13 (still in MS, but taking a couple HS courses) wouldn't be able to enjoy a vacation if it meant her grades could slip.

But, you can't change things now, just keep this in mind going forward. And I do hope the trip and make-up work policies work for you.

i see your point, and honestly i have tried hard to look for the school policy and to no avail can not find it on their crappy website, but i also think of this, if my child was sick for 3 days what would be the difference? they would still be missing school, excused or unexcused, kwim? but trust me this will be the first and last time we do this again, its not worth the stress

 

[pixeemom]

I pulled my kids (2 in HS and 1 in MS) out earlier this year for a trip (not to WDW) and I never wrote a note. I told my kids to inform their teachers they would be out. When they returned I had to send a note explaining why they were absent, even with it being unexcused. I did not have them ask for work ahead of time, I think by MS and HS students should have to learn about the consequences of missing work and having to make it up. Personally I think asking for work is asking for special treatment. Our teacher sometimes post weekly assignments online anyway.

Go and enjoy your trip, your kids will not suffer for missing 3 days and nobody at the school is going to remember you pulled them out and use it against you. Don't stress.

THANK YOU!

 

[pixeemom]

Call me crazy, but your kids lives are unlikely to be ruined by missing 3 days of school for a family vacation. Even if they are in AP classes.... (if they are not in AP classes, well, their life is ruined anyway LOL!)

Go and have fun!

LOL thank u!!

 

[pixeemom]

HUGE difference between 2nd grade and high school. Not even in the same realm!

I'd like to know how the OP's kids feel about missing a few classes. Do they have extracurricular activities that others depend on them being there for, like band, sports, etc?

honestly my HS'er is not worried at all which bugs me out i am more worried then her

 

[pixeemom]

Next Wednesday is Yum Kipur. But yeah, can't imagine why the school would add Monday to just further complicate the schedule.

Monday is Columbus day, we get off for, and then Wednesday is Yum Kipur

 

[pixeemom]

OP, the decision has been made, don't worry about what anyone here thinks. Email the teachers today to give them a heads up. I would just say that you are going out of town and the kids will be absent. No need to give details. Tell them the kids expect to make up all missed work and that you appreciate their cooperation.

They're only missing 3 days. Unless the school has a very strict policy, I don't think it will be a big deal. And I think individual teachers may bend the rules, especially if your kids are good students. I'm sure you're not the only family who is taking advantage of the holiday schedule. I suspect lots of kids will be out, especially on Tuesday. Have a great trip!

thank you!!!!!!!!

 

[pixeemom]

What happens if you mess up in 9th grade? Do you turn to a life a crime since it is all over then?

lol

 

[pixeemom]

What's weird (but I haven't read the entire thread so maybe it's been pointed out) but the OP asked pretty much the same question last year in July concerning a 3-day trip last year in Sept. I didn't want to bump up that thread or I'd be in the Walking Dead club!!!!

whats weird is that you looked that up gee whiz!!!!!
and btw I didn;t go in sept. anyway

 

[luvsJack]

If you're in rebellion against a parent, you don't need court - you need family therapy.

If you hate school - it depends on why you hate school. You may need a different learning environment. Or someone's got to do something about the bullying you're enduring. Regardless, you don't need court.

If you are smart enough that you're bored - then you definitely need a different learning environment! Our whole congregated gifted program was created in response to smart kids dropping out of school. And, really that's the crux of the issue right there - instead of dragging smart kids and their parents into court and punishing them, we created a program designed to entice them into staying of their own free will!

I do agree with your last statement, but there's often a limit to what a parent can do about a child who doesn't want to go to school.

By the way, I gave my kids a choice - go to school, or don't. It's not a choice I had, because my mother had to work and couldn't teach me herself, or afford to pay someone else to teach me. But I WAS fortunate enough to be able to give my kids that freedom. I taught them they didn't have to stay anywhere they were miserable or being treated unfairly (a lesson I sincerely hope carries forward into their relationships and working life). And interestingly - they both chose to go to public school. They never once played hooky or skipped school. They rarely blew off homework. They actually wanted to be at school!

If a child is skipping school, I strongly feel they don't need the legal system threatening them. They need to have someone ask, why? And then they need to have THAT issue addressed.

That's what I mean about treating it as a "psychological" issue versus a criminal one.

Those things could be the case. And they could not be the case. Some kids just hate school-its not about bullying, its not about the environment. They just don't like it. Personally I didn't hate it but given the choice of sitting in a classroom or sitting on the creek bank, the creek won every time. I just stayed within the legal number of days.

Teens rebel. Been that way since there have been teenagers. Some are extreme, and need counseling. For most its just a normal part of development.

My kids didn't skip because of the extra curriculars they were in. Couldn't miss choir or baseball or soccer so had to go to math and english and science.

Its great that you were able to give your kids a choice. The difference in you and these parents that are hauled into court is caring. You care, many of them don't.

 

[Magpie]

Those things could be the case. And they could not be the case. Some kids just hate school-its not about bullying, its not about the environment. They just don't like it. Personally I didn't hate it but given the choice of sitting in a classroom or sitting on the creek bank, the creek won every time. I just stayed within the legal number of days.

Teens rebel. Been that way since there have been teenagers. Some are extreme, and need counseling. For most its just a normal part of development.

My kids didn't skip because of the extra curriculars they were in. Couldn't miss choir or baseball or soccer so had to go to math and english and science.

Its great that you were able to give your kids a choice. The difference in you and these parents that are hauled into court is caring. You care, many of them don't.

You'd have probably enjoyed our district's Outdoor Education programs. Or the Work-Study programs, which places kids in the workforce and allows them to earn class credits there, along with practical work experience often in very interesting fields (you could have been surveying those creek banks!).

Personally, I've never yet met anyone who hated something without having a reason for hating it. I might not think it's a good reason, but they've always got a reason. I also haven't yet met a parent who doesn't care about their kid. They might express that caring badly, and they might have other stuff going on in their lives that's interfering with their ability to parent, but - so far - they all care. Even the abusive ones. So, if I was crafting policy, I'd craft it with them in mind, because while I'm sure there are uncaring, neglectful parents out there somewhere, I also know that exceptional cases make for bad law.

 

[cabanafrau]

I'm basing my statement on what the previous poster said, "They don't look at the absences a kid already has before deciding on a punishment. Most schools have a discipline ladder. Where she is on the ladder determines the punishment, not her grades or how many days she has previously missed."

In other words, it appears to be automatic and impersonal. And there's no discretion for individual school administrators.

That's not my experience, either in my own school district when my children were in attendance or back in the days when I did a lot of work involving CPS/parental neglect and abuse cases/term of parental rights which frequently involved educational neglect charges.

I just don't understand how you're making such definitive pronouncements, or why you use such flimsy anecdotal evidence to indict the American educational experience? Makes it all the more curious so many Canadians(along with the rest of the world) are flocking to American colleges and universities in ever increasing numbers -- you think they would have realized by now our streets are too dangerous and they're risking their lives coming here.

 

[Magpie]

i see your point, and honestly i have tried hard to look for the school policy and to no avail can not find it on their crappy website, but i also think of this, if my child was sick for 3 days what would be the difference? they would still be missing school, excused or unexcused, kwim? but trust me this will be the first and last time we do this again, its not worth the stress

So glad you're feeling better!

And yes, I had the same thought about sick days versus vacation days. My son returned to public school in Grade Five, after having been homeschooled for grades 1 through 4. Right away, he got sick with a series of colds. (One of the downsides to homeschooling - he hadn't been exposed to any of this stuff yet, so it was a horrible shock to his immune system.) And then he got REALLY sick. At the ripe old age of almost-ten, he had the worst case of croup you can imagine. He was home for two weeks (including one trip to the Emergency room on his tenth birthday to be nebulized), and then managed to make it through almost a full week of school... and then he fainted and had a little seizure one morning. Back to the Emergency room. Another week off school. Bit of a scare when they thought they detected an abnormality in his heart. They booked him into the Heart Clinic for testing the day before we were due to leave for our family trip to Florida.

By this point, we were thinking, "The heck with it! He's missed so much school already, one more week off won't make a difference. And if anyone deserves a Disney Vacation, it's this poor kid!"

His teachers were completely supportive, as was his doctor. And, to all our relief, his heart tests came back just fine.

So off to Disney World we went, where the boy quickly perked up and got his energy back. Unfortunately, on the second day of vacation, his big sister came down with croup... (Fortunately, she's made of sterner stuff, and shook it off in about 48 hours, no hospital trip needed.)

 

[Magpie]

That's not my experience, either in my own school district when my children were in attendance or back in the days when I did a lot of work involving CPS/parental neglect and abuse cases/term of parental rights which frequently involved educational neglect charges.

I just don't understand how you're making such definitive pronouncements, or why you use such flimsy anecdotal evidence to indict the American educational experience? Makes it all the more curious so many Canadians(along with the rest of the world) are flocking to American colleges and universities in ever increasing numbers -- you think they would have realized by now our streets are too dangerous and they're risking their lives coming here.

I'm basing it on what people here have been saying about their school system - the automatic "discipline ladder" that leads to a suspended student being punished for not breaking suspension and attending school - and on what I've been reading in your media. It obviously varies from one place to another. I'm glad your district is different, and that you were able to help people!

And I've never said it's dangerous to visit the US - I do it all the time, being as I have family and friends there. As I recall, in the thread you're referring to, I told the poster she'd be just fine as long as she knew where she was going and made a trip plan.