Ok, I feel like I killed the thread with my QOTD!
While most of us would not wear real masks outside of Halloween and costume parties, sometimes we do wear masks in a metaphorical sense. Do you have any weight loss “masks” – and for what purpose. Do you find them helpful or not?
One mask that I used to wear was that I would not tell other people about my weight loss efforts. Once I dared to open up to my friends I found that it became so much easier as it helped me being more accountable and I got a lot of encouragement. I have one friend, who regularly invites us for brunch for her birthday. And she always makes sure that there is a large selection of really healthy food - and makes sure not to buy a croissant for me. I really love this!
So, for me hiding was not a good thing, but I can see that maybe in other situations it could be helpful.
This is a timely question for me - I kind of feel like I'm wearing a mask with you guys right now - just in that I am struggling to meet my goals each month and I feel a little like a fraud being here. I know I definitely want to change and know that I can be extremely determined and successful in other areas of my life but just can't seem to pull this together.
I am just so struggling with a goal - I am feeling a lot of track and overwhelmed by it all - I was so excited to have a dietician and exercise physiologist appointment a month and a half ago now - but they were both a huge disappointment - the dietician essentially gave me a food groups brochure and said work it out yourself - Ahm hello .... if I could do that I wouldn't be in the obese category!!! I have tried different goals since joining - weight, activity, low cal breakfast, food tracking - but I am still the same weight and hugely disappointed in myself. I just don't know where to go with a goal this month - any advice will be appreciated.....
I quoted both your comments as they kind of belong together. I am sorry that you feel like a fraud! And I am sorry that you thought there was a support system that would help you, but it did not.
First of all: you say you are still the same weight as at the beginning of the year. That is a great success! You did not gain any weight! You stopped the downward spiral. That is huge! Yes, you are not maintaining at the level that you want to be at, but it is not getting worse.
Overall, if you want to lose weight there is only one way of getting there. Eating less than your body needs. It does sound so simple, but it can be a struggle. I know this myself. See, I am not the big success story either. I joined these threads in 2012. I am 8 pounds lighter than I was when I started. I had my up and downs. And the one big thing that kept me going is that I know that if I give up, I will end up not back at my 8 pounds more, but at 80 pounds more. So, things stall, go in the wrong direction, I just start over again. Again and again, every month.
And it is not easy. But I know that you can do really hard things. I could also understand if your motivation to do hard things might be a little bit lower since you were forced to go through some really hard things and had no choice. I know that for me this would make me think that life is unfair and I need to get other things easier in turn. I am not saying that you don't work hard. But ultimately it is your own decision every single day as to what you eat. As you see from my meager success, I make a lot of not so good decisions about my nutrition on a regular basis. Yesterday evening was a black spot for me as well. One thing that really spoke to me was this graphic that someone posted quite a long time ago on one of the threads:
So, as to what you want to pick as your goal. I would say, stay away from a weight loss goal. How did you do with the food tracking? How did that work for you? Do you use MFP? Why not set it to maintaining, so it gives you your daily calories that you can use for the day without putting on weight. And then track your food every day and aim for the sum of all the food you ate to be below your maintenance calories. Don't aim for a specific deficit. So, the day is a success if you are 10 kcal or 1000 kcal below your daily allowed intake. Ultimately measuring everything you eat on a scale is best, but it is also ok to just guess things if that is not an option. Just keep tracking.
@ Flosbolna - I am definitely ok with doing September instead - it has been a really busy week. I will share a belated woohoo for last week. DS15 has been doing a special subject at school where they could explore an area of passion or interest and complete a project with the help of mentors from that field. My son decided to create a 2D platform game. He designed the whole thing - drew and animated the characters but needed some help with the coding. this week was the completion and celebration with his classmates. They had to present it and talk about the process and what they had learned. He can be a little shy but did a wonderful job of presenting and he had worked really hard on his game. He of course wants to pursue this as a career which is a little scary to me. But woohoo for him and all the other kids who were amazing also.
Thanks for taking September! And I am happy to hear that you intend to stick with us despite your current struggles!!
And a big woohoo to your son! It sounds like he has something that he has a true passion for! And I believe that those who succeed in a bit exotic jobs are those who are truly passionate. So, don't worry too much!
Fingers crossed for a 3 hour or less finish. Come on 2:59:59!
My plan for the month is to get moved and settled into my new home.. that will include some planting and yard work.
