Have you ever gone to a function where you had to PAY for soda???

[LadyBears]

This was in southeast Massachusetts.
I want to clarify: A lot of people are discussing cash bar, alcohol, etc. At no point did we WANT or NEED or EXPECT alcohol. Just a simple cold beverage would've been nice!

See - that explains it!! That is the norm here.

May I ask - was this at a rented empty hall (such as a VFW) or was this at a country club or restaurant?? The only time I have seen a coffee urn set up was when the event was at a hall. In those cases because the "hosts" supplied the food instead of the venue suppliying it, buckets filled with ice/soda/juice boxes were supplied . In my circle, if the hosts are renting a hall for a birthday/shower - it is potluck without a catering company & there is always enough food & drink to feed an army (& sometimes the other branches too! )

You did say catered.

My only experience with a catered party was my cousins 1st communion. The caterers supplied the main meal & coffee (hot food), my cousin supplied cold drinks & desserts (cold food).

Maybe the older couple didn't realize that the catering company didn't supply cold drinks?? Maybe because they are older, they didn't think about what the younger generation would want to drink?

 

[lillygator]

Actually, it wouldn't be ok with you. You have already stated that anything but a meal and alcohol is tacky.

Here is your post where you said serving just water is tacky.


I will try to find your posts where you have said that you can't fathom just mints or a cake for a reception.

wow, you have the time to do that?

 

[Planogirl]

A cash bar is tacky? As long as free alternatives are offered I don't see anything wrong with it and it's not uncommon here.

I choose not to critique couples' choices though. It's their wedding and if they want it a certain way who am I to say anything?

 

[creativeamanda]

But the question is- Did you charge him per piece? (just kidding!)

Maybe I should have. Or at least for the bottle of wine he consumed.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

You're missing the point.

The point isn't that I think that someone should have to go into debt for a wedding, throw a huge party with every food, drink and dessert known to mankind. As I said before, serve me punch and water if you want, but don't ask me to come as a guest to your wedding and then ask me to pony up $10 to pay for my water and cake. And expect a gift to boot, because let's face it, everybody can say they want to "share their special day with their loved ones" , but what would you be saying about a guest who came to your wedding and didn't give you a gift?

I think I will have a different answer to this question than most people, I wouldn't care at all if someone didn't bring a gift. Yes I might think it strange but I did not get married to get gifts from people, or money. I got married to be married to my wonderful husband. And the party is just for fun, to entertain guests and to me guest means they don't pay for anything.

 

[SeaSpray]

If you're worried that you might have to buy a soda to celebrate someone's marriage, then DO NOT GO. It's as simple as that. Why complain about having to purchase a drink if there are other options available?
OP, if the bride and groom didn't offer even water, I would consider that odd. But to everyone complaining that they have had to pay for soda...don't go!

You know, a lot of people asked if WATER was available. Yeah, MAYBE if I had gone into the ladies room and stuck my head under the faucet!!


People, get over the entire "soda" thing! I don't LIKE soda, but it's what is normally served at weddings/functions around here!!! Alcohol is often served as well, but sometimes it's been a cash bar. We did not want alcohol, so did not bring cash with us.

I would've been thrilled with iced tea, punch, lemonade, etc!! GEESH, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ACTUAL SODA!!!

 

[Planogirl]

I would've been thrilled with iced tea, punch, lemonade, etc!! GEESH, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ACTUAL SODA!!!

I agree that alternatives are important. I think that soda, bottled water, iced tea and coffee would cover the "free" choices.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Actually, it wouldn't be ok with you. You have already stated that anything but a meal and alcohol is tacky.

Here is your post where you said serving just water is tacky.


I will try to find your posts where you have said that you can't fathom just mints or a cake for a reception.

Um you are wrong but feel free to check the posts. Yes- I think having just water is tacky. I may think whatever I chose and I will tell you that just offering water IMO is tacky. If that is the norm for the area I however would not think that as I would expect that. I never said you have to have a meal and alcohol. I said that I couldn't imagine not feeding people. YOU (general you) can have whatever you want. Iwill feed you. My choice. As for the mints- I was asking a genuine question. I was not being snooty about it at all. I have never in all my life been to a reception like that. I cannot fathom it because, well, I just can't. I was asking how it works. Was it a meet and greet type of thing, is it a congrats and we are off type of thing etc. The same way you cannot understand the magnitude of which we have weddings in NY I cannot understand the way other parts of the US celebrate them. I am however trying to. That was why I asked the question. Nobody answered of course.

 

[lillygator]

well they had to have some water to make the coffee right?

 

[SeaSpray]

I don't think it's got anything to do with sugary drinks, it's the fact that you are an invited guest who has to pay for drinks at all. Yes I know some people can't afford it, that wedding I mentioned earlier with the nice inexpensive buffet had NO ALCOHOL (not even champagne toast, site did not allow any alcohol whatsoever) and everyone still had a great time, they did a sparkling cider toast. Then there was a small after-reception party at the bride's home with plenty of booze for the wedding party. Not that people need to have that but it was a nice touch. I guess the way I was raised, guest=you pay for nothing. Not soda, not beer, not your own rental skates, not your own movie ticket, nothing. If you were a guest of my family you went for free, that included something big like going to Six Flags. Guests do not pay, that was drummed into me from an early age so that's all I know.

I have repeatedly said IF there was nothing else available. I said I would drink water if available but the way some people are talking there are times NOTHING is available without paying.

THANK YOU for getting what I was trying to say.

I think since the OP hasn't clarified, that water, tea, etc., WAS offered and does not want to say that. Just MHO.

Nah, the OP just wasn't back around to this thread in the time period when she posted last night, until around noon today!! LOL

I have clarified up exactly what was, and wasn't, available.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think I will have a different answer to this question than most people, I wouldn't care at all if someone didn't bring a gift. Yes I might think it strange but I did not get married to get gifts from people, or money. I got married to be married to my wonderful husband. And the party is just for fun, to entertain guests and to me guest means they don't pay for anything.

AMEN!!!!!!

 

[SeaSpray]

well they had to have some water to make the coffee right?

I would assume so!

 

[lillygator]

OP - did you happen to notice what others were drinking, particularly the bride and groom?

 

[SeaSpray]

Me, either. . .I don't go anywhere without a little cash in my wallet. What if I didn't like the food at the reception (which I would not be on the DIS complaining about an hour later) and decided to stop at Sonic on the way home? What if my car broke down and I needed some cash? I don't understand going anywhere without money on you.

We were about 15 minutes from home. DH does carry some cash, which he left in his jeans pocket yesterday morning when getting changed into his suit. We usually do NOT have cash with us.

The point is...and I think a lot of people are overlooking this... is that HAD WE EXPECTED TO NEED CASH at the wedding reception, then we would've been sure to have it. I honestly never expected to get there and then need cash for a cold, non-alcholic drink. By the time DH decided to make a dash to the nearest ATM, we were pretty parched.


*Arg....now back to try and read a few more pages... LOL*

 

[SeaSpray]

OP - did you happen to notice what others were drinking, particularly the bride and groom?

I saw some wine glasses, cups of what looked like soda, and cups of what looked like mixed drinks, on the tables. I couldn't see what the actual bride and groom were drinking.

 

[SeaSpray]

In my opinion, then, she was just being snobbish. Others here agree with her, and that's fine. That's just my opinion.

I was being snobbish because I didn't want to see if there was coffee in the coffee pot (which nobody was near all during the reception), and which I don't usually drink anyway?? Ok then!

 

[spalady]

tacky, very, very tacky!!!!

 

[SeaSpray]

See - that explains it!! That is the norm here.

May I ask - was this at a rented empty hall (such as a VFW) or was this at a country club or restaurant?? The only time I have seen a coffee urn set up was when the event was at a hall. In those cases because the "hosts" supplied the food instead of the venue suppliying it, buckets filled with ice/soda/juice boxes were supplied . In my circle, if the hosts are renting a hall for a birthday/shower - it is potluck without a catering company & there is always enough food & drink to feed an army (& sometimes the other branches too! )

You did say catered.

My only experience with a catered party was my cousins 1st communion. The caterers supplied the main meal & coffee (hot food), my cousin supplied cold drinks & desserts (cold food).

Maybe the older couple didn't realize that the catering company didn't supply cold drinks?? Maybe because they are older, they didn't think about what the younger generation would want to drink?

Not for nothing...and I'm about to leave my own thread because I'm not going to spend any more time defending my opinion (I've stated my opinion time and again; whoever doesn't agree with it, that's fine ) but I don't care who you are, what the function is, where it's held, how old you are, you didn't know any better, etc. WHEN YOU INVITE SOMEONE TO A FUNCTION WHERE A HOT, FULL COURSE MEAL IS SERVED, GIVE THEM A FREAKING COLD (non-alcoholic at least) DRINK TO GO WITH IT!!!!

 

[ShesAPirate]

Not for nothing...and I'm about to leave my own thread because I'm not going to spend any more time defending my opinion (I've stated my opinion time and again; whoever doesn't agree with it, that's fine ) but I don't care who you are, what the function is, where it's held, how old you are, you didn't know any better, etc. WHEN YOU INVITE SOMEONE TO A FUNCTION WHERE A HOT, FULL COURSE MEAL IS SERVED, GIVE THEM A FREAKING COLD (non-alcoholic at least) DRINK TO GO WITH IT!!!!

Hahaha, AMEN, sister! I agree 100%!

 

[creativeamanda]

I was being snobbish because I didn't want to see if there was coffee in the coffee pot (which nobody was near all during the reception), and which I don't usually drink anyway?? Ok then!

IMO, when someone invites you to a function, you go to it on your own volition and do not complain about how things were handled. You accept it and go on. If you didn't like it and it made you uncomfortable, then the next time they invite you to something, you decline. To me, there are more important things to complain about than whether you had to take $20 out of the ATM machine to buy sodas.