Greek life - Pros and cons?

[katrina1122]

My campus had a very busy greek life with no on or off campus housing. Some people rented apts/houses and lived together but they weren't sanctioned. Everyone was always nice and happy.

With that I joined a co-ed service based fraternity which is not part of the greek system back in 1993. To this day most of my best friends are still from APO. It did help me get my job as well, as my assistant director was APO.

I do not regret one minute of it.

 

[Bearvet]

DS just joined a fraternity - this is his 2nd year of college. Freshman year was overwhelming for him and didn't make many close friends. This year he changed his major and decided to join the frat. He played football all through high school and really missed that "brotherhood" feeling - the frat fills that role.

He has had a great 2nd year and is happy he waited to join. He enjoys all of the guys and plans to live in the house next year. I don't picture my other 2 sons joining one, but for this son, it has been great. BTW he had his best grades yet this semester and that's while going through initiation, etc.

 

[I Am What I Am]

i joined a sorority last semester and honestly it was one of the best decisions i ever made. My school doesn't have Greek housing and a strict-no hazing policy (my sorority has an even stricter policy on top of that). There haven't been any wild parties that I've heard of with my sorority.

The only con I can think of is that sometimes its difficult to balance required events with keeping a satisfactory GPA if you don't have really good time management skills.

I'd suggest that your daughter at least go to the recruitment week events. That way she can learn about each sorority and meet the girls, learn about the events and requirements, dues, etc. and then make her decision once she has all the information.

 

[emma'smom]

Well said and with 20 years hind-sight.... I feel the exact same way. As for the PP who commented on hiring based on a greek affiliation on a resume, that isn't quite how those affiliations really happen. It's really more of a networking process.....and I have affiliations with some of my "sisters" that have impacted my career positively and I know of many others as well. Not that this is the ONLY way to find a position, but it doesn't hurt cast the net widely for professional positions....

I'll also note that I teach at a small liberal-arts College and I find many of the Greek students to be among the most focused---often because they have minimum GPA requirements to maintain their active status and they are often students who are very involved with service organizations, athletics, student leadership positions (Student Government, Greek Council, etc).....so they are the ones who have learned to balance their time and prioritize.

Also, all of the Greek groups on campus host all-campus parties at least once each semester that are intentionally designed to appeal to the entire campus--Greeks and Independents---so the "partying" isn't really just the greeks. They are very well-attended (so I hear) by a cross-section of the campus population.

I was a member of a sorority during the 1990's at a small liberal arts college where I lived in a dorm, but the sorority just had a meeting space, not a house to live in.

These are some of the pros with 15 years of hindsight:

1) Opportunities for leadership. As a member of my sorority's executive council, I developed skills that are crucial to the business world. These included time management skills, delegation, the ability to verbalize my ideas in a group setting, responsibility, etc. Even before I joined the executive council as a junior, there were always committees you could join to contribute to different projects and events. This also helped me to overcome my inherent shyness which would have really held me back in my career as an adult.

2) Charity: I believe all Panhellenic Greek organizations have official charities that they support. I did not go to a high school that required volunteer hours so this was my first introduction as a young adult to the importance of contributing my time and efforts to a good cause.

3) Sisterhood. I grew up with two brothers and always wanted a sister. I can honestly say that the women in my sorority became my sisters. Four of these women are still my best friends today, and have supported me through every step of my adult life. Studies have shown that people who are "joiners" and belong to some type of community organization are less prone to depression etc. There was a sense that you were accepted much like being in a family -- the way that home is where when you go there, they have to take you in, my sorority acted as that for me during my college years.

4) Team spirit: much like joining a sports team, Greek organizations provide an opportunity to bond with your "teammates" or sisters through various competitions (we had singing competitions, Greek Week athletic events such as flag football, synchronized swimming competitions, etc). I always had a sense of belonging and never felt isolated. I think in a world where students can now spend their lives locked in their rooms with their computers and end up feeling very alone this is even more important.

5) A life long network. As an alumna the opportunities to join alumni clubs exist all over the world. I try to make it back to my college campus for our sorority's Founders' Day each year. Some of this is old fashioned -- formal teas, lots of singing together -- but I enjoy these kinds of activities and they are much more "clean cut" than the stereotype that Greek Live often unjustly receives.

Granted, there was a lot of partying, and the things I have listed above can also be found elsewhere. But I found it incredibly rewarding and I would not change a thing about my Greek Life experience.

I hope that helps. It is not for everyone but if a young person is inclined to look into it I think there can be a lot of benefits.

 

[katrina1122]

I attended a large liberal arts university with a strong Greek heritage. The main Greek fraternities and sororities have houses. New ones have been added recently to keep up with demand. I thought about rushing but ended up joining a coed International service fraternity named Alpha Phi Omega. We had the trappings of a traditional fraternity or sorority (rush parties, big brothers, pledging, secret handshake, Greek letters, etc.) without the house, high cost or hazing. If you made it through pledging you were inducted. You could only be excluded if you broke the bylaws. We partied hard and did tons of community service. Even though we were much smaller than the Panhellenic groups we always won the university service award for most service hours. One semester I did more than 90 service hours and I was only in second place in the fraternity service hours competition.

It was a great experience. I have great memories, made some awesome friends and even met my husband. He was one of my fraternity brothers.

I have no regret that I didn't pledge a traditional sorority.

Hello Bro! I'm APO too. Best decision ever.

 

[fall08CP]

Lots of good points brought up on both sides. As others have said, just go through the recruitment process with an open mind and see where (if) she fits. Schools with large greek systems are going to be VERY different than liberal arts colleges. I wouldn't have pledged at a large school because it's $$ and the rush requirements are pretty intense. I highly recommend checking out "GreekChat" -- it's a forum about rush and sorority life 101. She may need recommendations, so you'll need to get on that sooner than later.

As far as professional networks and such- while I don't list my sorority affiliation on my resume (although I held major leadership roles and am only 3 years out of undergrad), it has landed me an incredible job and fairly quick promotion. I've been asked a few times during job interviews about community service/giving back and I can easily point back to 4 years of volunteerism with my sisters. Could I have done it as a GDI? Sure! But I wouldn't have. I was also an athlete and lived in the dorms- having friends in both of those places, none of the GDIs I knew did community service at all.

She may also find that athletes party way harder than greeks. I can say this with certainty as I was both in college. The greeks had very organized partying- sober sisters, designated drivers, checking IDs at the door vs. athletes were free for all. I remember the swimmers getting busted at receiving 70 citations for underage drinking- everyone who was an education, nursing, or pre-med major was kicked out of their program.

All of this to say, this is a chance for her to make her own decisions and be an adult. So long as she knows there are consequences to her actions, whether she does them with greek sisters or non-greeks. Being greek doesn't mean your sisters are your only friends. I'd say they were maybe 60% of my friends, but I certainly hung out with non-greeks and never felt pressure to party. I didn't touch alcohol until my 21st and I never felt out of place.

 

[StephMK]

I don't have a lot of time to answer this, but I am a recent alumna of a national sorority on a campus without greek housing, so I probably have more direct personal experience regarding this topic than the average Dis poster. Feel free to PM me with direct questions.

1) I was never, ever hazed. We have a strict anti-hazing policy. I was in fact showered with gifts and food throughout my four years.2) I was never forced to attend a party. I probably "go out" about equally as often as non-affiliated students, maybe even less.
3) My grades did not suffer. I graduated magna cum laude from a highly ranked private university and will be attending law school in the fall. Being in a sorority taught be better time management and study skills. Academics were very important to us.
4)That being said, being in a sorority is a big time commitment. There are meetings and events that you have to go to. Being an officer requires a bigger commitment.
5) I served as the Vice-President of Community Service and Philanthropy for two terms. This DID lead me to getting a job offer in a field I was interested in. I also had the opportunity to raise thousands of dollars for a cause that is near and dear to my heart.
6) My best friends and future bridesmaids are my sisters. We have a bond that is hard to explain and I love them all dearly. I'm even going to WDW with one of my sisters in two weeks. Greek life gave me a home on a large campus where I otherwise could have been lost in the crowd.
7) There is drama and fights but what else can you expect when 100+ women (that was the size of my chapter) have to interact and govern themselves. Sometimes we fought about stupid things like tablecloth colors or what to have for dessert at formal. To me, it was part of growing up.
8) I am now much better at networking. I have learned how to work a room, how to connect with people I've never met, and how to be a gracious host. I've found this skills to be invaluable in my career/academic pursuits.

That's all I have time for, but again, if you have specific questions, please PM me.

This sounds very much like my DD's experience, especially the bolded.

DD19 had to go to school early for rush week. At first, she was not going to rush, then changed her mind in the summer. She had been part of show choir in HS and was tired of the girl drama but loved being part of a group.

Warn your DD that it may be a stressful week. DD called me quite a few times - excited about the ones she visited, crying that some didn't invite her back, crying that she wasn't going to pledge but was finishing the process, then crying again because she really clicked with one at the last minute. I think it really depends on the girls you talk to over the week and not being swayed by others in the rush group.

She got a bid for the one she loved and has been incredibly happy. She is fairly quiet but loves to be social so having a group to do stuff with has been wonderful for her. She is at a large state school and having a place to fit in works for her personality. In her words, her sorority is full of "real" girls. They are not required to attend events but they do earn points for being active.

She is moving into the house next year and it's actually cheaper than the dorms. Plus she is looking forward to the house mother's cooking instead of cafeteria food! They have dinners every Monday and her group has a lot of bonding experiences.

She is very interested in the philanthropy aspect and is going to be asst. chair next year. Their charity cause also led her to another volunteer opp on campus. She has other friends in choir & a religious social group/bible study she also joined. Her sorority goes dancing Sunday nights, play softball, and have different events with frats - they are not matched with just one like some schools. If she wants, there is always someone to study with or something to do.

If your DD doesn't join, that doesn't mean she won't make lifelong friends. I never joined and am still friends w/ girls I met freshman year in the dorms. We were inseparable then and we try to plan a girls weekend every few years. We're all over the country now but I still consider us close.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

DH was in a fraternity in college and the friendships, brotherhood, and experiences that came out of those days are priceless. I realize that it is not for everyone and sure they partied but guess what, I went to a very small uppity college that did not have any greek life and there was still plenty of partying going on.

 

[dakcp2001]

It varies greatly from school to school.You really need to look into the campus life and how big it is there. Some schools greek life is a huge part of the social scene, others not so much. My college was a very large university and less than 8% of the student population was involved in Greek Life. It was known for people who had trouble making friends and had to buy some. Very low status and they were often in trouble for underage drinking. This is not true at nearby schools where more than 50-70% were involved in greek life, there it was a major part of the community and it involved community service and such. My school is was not a good thing. And it was very expensive. But it depends on the particular school. THAT is what you need to investigate. ANd don't get your information from the Sorority. That would be like asking a car salesman about how great the car is. You need info from non biased sources.

 

[Nennie]

I think it all depends on the college. Some schools have huge greek systems, where pretty much everyone joins, other schools it's a small system, and there are plenty of other social opportunities.

I went to a college of about 15000 students. We didn't have fraternity row, but had a greek dorm where everyone fraternity/sorority had their own section. Some of the fraternities also had "unofficial" houses off campus, where the parties were usually held.

I joined my sorority as a freshman, and loved it. I moved into the greek dorm my sophomore year, and lived there til I graduated. I'm still in touch with many of my sisters (via facebook, etc), and aside of marriage and having children, my 4 years of greek life/college were the some of the best time of my life.

Yes, we partied, but we also had grade requirements. Below a certain GPA, you could be put on academic probation which meant mandatory study halls, and no parties til you got your grades up. The greek system was also very close knit with each other. We were friends with the ladies from the other sororities and often had parties with 2 sororities and 2 fraternities at the same time, to get to know everyone, etc. I had a boyfriend at a different college (didn't have fraternities at his college), and I had absolutely no problem bringing him with me to fraternity parties at my school when he came to visit.

My sister went to a much larger school 40K students (big football school in the south) and also joined a sorority her freshman year. She also had a great experience. She lived in her greek dorm til her junior year, then she moved into an apartment with one of her sisters, and 2 girls from another sorority.

Oh yeah...when your daughter gets to school, all of the freshman girls will be talking about rushing. Some will be gung-ho, others will be feeling it out, but they will ALL be talking about it. It was seriously one of the first things we asked each other when we met! LOL!!! Tell your daughter to go with the flow and check it out! If she likes it, great, and if she doesn't think it's for her, at least she checked it out.

One last thing....it's easier to get a bid as a freshman! So if she wants to join, freshman year is the time to do it! The reason is that sororities want to have good "numbers" and have sisters that will be there a while, as opposed to someone who will graduate in the next 2 years or so. Good luck to your daughter!

 

[pooh4evr]

Joining a sorority was the best decision I ever made. I went to a medium sized state university a couple of hours from home not knowing anyone. I rushed an got a few bids (invitations to join) and chose the one I was a legacy for? with? Alpha Xi Delta - anyway - we were never "hazed" or made to do anything uncomfortable at anytime. We had greek housing on campus which were smaller dorms 3 stories divided down the middle one house on each side. At that time there were 6 sororities and maybe 9 fraternities. We had mandatory study hours each week, GPA guidelines, and philanthropy hours and events we had to attend (we donated time and raised money for Easter Seals, Headstart programs, autism awareness, salvation army..). It is not just about partying and hooking up, students who are not involved in the greek system do that plenty too. I felt like it was an awesome support system for what can be a very "interesting" time in a young persons life. If anything having to do service hours and keep grades up can help the students learn and grow in different ways that being un attached usually won't (if that makes sense).

Go in with an open heart and mind and just feel it out she will know if it is right for her.

 

[newddmommie]

I'll agree with others. Joining a sorority was a great decision for me. I lived in the house for 3.5 years and was our RA as well as VP Standards. I also graduated with both my BS and MS in chemical engineering so it can be done. Make sure she picks a house she's comfortable with. There will always be girls she doesn't get along with, that's just life. But I will say my sorority taught me time managament, leadership skills, and how to get along with everyone. I would say all Nationally recognized houses are taking a hard line about hazing and our house was dry so there wasn't any partying. Just try to keep an open mind.