Frustrated!! UPDATE POST#81

[Allison]

Can I point out the obvious here?

Why on earth would your father be buying a video game system for a 28 year old? WHy would your father be calling on behalf of a 28 year old? Why would you lend him one? If you two keep enabling him, he will stay this way forever, if it is not too late already.

Good for you for putting your foot down! He is 28, not 12!!!! He didn't return the other one, so you know how this will end.


BTW I have a sister like this, and it is like a broken record that never changes. You need to start saying no and keep saying no, and then he will learn to go elsewhere.

Exactly what I was thinking.

 

[cinmell]

You were not wrong at all. You should have told him to return the Xbox 360 then you would think about the Wii. It's not your Wii to loan out anyway, it's your son's.

I can't believe your 28 year old brother went and "told on you" to your dad, that's crazy! Your brother really needs to grow up. And now your dad is mad at you and will buy the Wii for him if you don't loan it to him? Crazy! You did nothing wrong, don't feel bad.

 

[Katie]

I can't believe a 28 year old is whining about not having a gaming system?

I think that describes the problem with today's socieity!

Seriously, get a job, get a life! Nobody has died because they couldn't play a video game( i don't think...ha ha)

 

[horseshowmom]

I can't believe a 28 year old is whining about not having a gaming system?

I think that describes the problem with today's socieity!

Seriously, get a job, get a life! Nobody has died because they couldn't play a video game( i don't think...ha ha)

The whole thing is bizarre. Your dad has a lot of nerve thrying to theaten you over the situation. They say that what goes around comes around. How woud he like to have his son in charge of caring for him in his old age?

 

[DisneyMissy318]

My DD has an XBox 360 - that she sometimes "rents" out to my brother (her uncle). He has one, but splits his time between our town and another about 2 hours away due to his job. He will call DD and ask if she's using it and if he can rent it. She's like a loanshark - she charges him $10 a day! (He's unmarried with no kids - so he spoils her too!) He will either stop and get her a Neopets Cash Card - or bring her $10 bucks. Luckily (for him) he's never in town for more than a day or two!)

OP - I'm sorry you are going through this - your brother and your Dad were both wrong! You were right in how you handled the situation - and don't let anyone tell you differently!

 

[Pumbaa_]

It's very interesting that your father was not at all concerned about his GRANDSON doing without

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

My DD has an XBox 360 - that she sometimes "rents" out to my brother (her uncle). He has one, but splits his time between our town and another about 2 hours away due to his job. He will call DD and ask if she's using it and if he can rent it. She's like a loanshark - she charges him $10 a day! (He's unmarried with no kids - so he spoils her too!) He will either stop and get her a Neopets Cash Card - or bring her $10 bucks. Luckily (for him) he's never in town for more than a day or two!)

I love this!! Good for her!

 

[Sandy V.]

It's very interesting that your father was not at all concerned about his GRANDSON doing without.

That is an EXCELLENT point.

OP, continue to stand your ground. Your brother is very immature and won't grow up unless he's forced to.

 

[AlleyKat]

My brother (who is 28) called me today asking to "borrow" my son's Wii for a while (he just moved and does not have cable hooked up yet). I told him that I did not feel comfortable with that as he had "borrowed" my son's XBox 360 8 months ago and has not returned it either. I told him that I was concerned that I would not get the Wii back either. I told him to let me think about it and I would get back with him (I intended on discussing it with my husband first). My brother said calmly, "Never mind, I will just go ahead and buy one for myself." I said, "Okay."

About 15 minutes later, my dad calls and asks me if he was going to have to buy my brother a Wii. I told him that was between he and my brother and the decision was his. He said, "You really are not going to let him borrow the Wii for a few days?" I proceeded to explain to him the situation. He then stated that he could not believe that I would do that, that he can't believe I am "that kind of person" and that I am not being helpful to my family, and that my decision was going to "come back to haunt" me. I got angry at this point and told him that it was really my decision and that he should not be involved in it at all and should respect my decisions instead of guilting me. He then stated that this was a disrespectful comment to make to him. I told him again that this was my decision and a situation between me and my brother and that I was finished discussing it with him. I hung up.


Anyway, what do you all think? Was I wrong? Right?

This foolishness is certainly not your problem! To dump this on you, especially while you're pregnant ...shame on them!

Unless he has some kind of mental issues that has kept him from developing into a normal adult there is no way a 28 year old should run to daddy because you won't let him borrow a freaking video game.

If you aren't a big boy by 28 perhaps it's time to rethink life, not play the Wii.

This sums up the situation in a nutshell!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It's very interesting that your father was not at all concerned about his GRANDSON doing without

Now that is something that makes your stomach turn. Very good point.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yep, excellent point.

OP, I do hope you have your XBox back!
You done good!!!!

And, I will repeat what I said...
What is going on here is simply not normal or rational or even sane.
Don't even try to figure it out.
Don't begin to take it personally.
Don't let it upset you or make your stomach turn...
It is what it is...

Learn how to deal with irrational people...

Establish some strong personal boundaries and some pro-active ways of dealing with this.

 

[tink1978]

Yep, excellent point.

OP, I do hope you have your XBox back!
You done good!!!!

And, I will repeat what I said...
What is going on here is simply not normal or rational or even sane.
Don't even try to figure it out.
Don't begin to take it personally.Don't let it upset you or make your stomach turn...
It is what it is...

Learn how to deal with irrational people...

Establish some strong personal boundaries and some pro-active ways of dealing with this.

I totally agree...it's just hard not to try figuring them out and not taking it personally, even though I know it is their problem and not mine.

This kind of thing has gone on in my family since I was born. I always get upset by it and I hate being upset by it. I am trying to break away from that so that I am not getting my feelings hurt. I know things will get better...at least until the next time I put my foot down.

 

[tink1978]

BTW, I did get the XBOX back. I went over to my parents home to get and everyone ignored me. I guess that is better than getting into an argument about it though!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

It isn't your job to facilate your 28yo brother's inabilty to be a grown up.

He failed to return another game. I wouldn't be loaning him a tooth brush at this point.

Your dad was inappropriate to lay his guilt trip on you. You are not your brother's supplier of things to help him not be bored.

Time for brother to grow up and dad to stop enabling or requiring you to enable.

 

[dismom2]

You did the right thing, and your father should put himself in your shoes before trying to make you feel guilty. I've had people borrow things and not return them, and when people do this, they can't completely be trusted next time to return something. I especially love it when they try to tell you they did return whatever they borrowed---when you know they didn't.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

Sounds like your Brother AND your Dad BOTH need to grow up!

 

[stego]

how her father replied: you disrespected me. Seems he couldn't shovel it out fast enough...the guilt trip.

Someone do me a favor and call out the father: you've disrespected your daughter.

Lovely.

 

[Darsa]

I cannot imagine treating my child in that way. I think I must have been incredibly lucky to have the parents I have; some of the stories I hear on the DIS (and everywhere else, it seems!) make me go

 

[Becky2005]

I would be asking "Where's the XBOX?" Something along the lines of when you return my XBOX -- I'll *think* about letting you borrow the Wii

That's just crazy nuts -- I can see your brother asking but then dragging your dad into it & your dad assuming he was to buy a 28 year old a Wii (and I'm assuming NOT for any special occassion just out buying him one because he wants it), is crazy.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I totally agree...it's just hard not to try figuring them out and not taking it personally, even though I know it is their problem and not mine.

This kind of thing has gone on in my family since I was born. I always get upset by it and I hate being upset by it. I am trying to break away from that so that I am not getting my feelings hurt. I know things will get better...at least until the next time I put my foot down.

I know it must be hard!

Keep both feet firmly on the ground...