Frustrated!! UPDATE POST#81

[creativeamanda]

Gosh--are you sure your brother is not my sister? And your dad not my mother? You were right. They'll get over it. Or at least your dad will. If your brother doesn't he's got some serious problems. (Which it sounds like he already has)

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Your dad will get over it. I wouldn't have loaned the Wii either and what I would have told him is not DIS appropriate.

 

[golfgal]

I can't believe your brother tattled on you and that your DAD put up with it

I would tell your brother that the $300 it costs for Wii will MORE than pay for cable for quite a while, not to mention each game costs about as much as a month a cable.

Sorry, but your Dad was WAY out of line.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Okay..this is a family issue and I would just like to know whether you all think I was right or wrong on it.

My brother (who is 28) called me today asking to "borrow" my son's Wii for a while (he just moved and does not have cable hooked up yet). I told him that I did not feel comfortable with that as he had "borrowed" my son's XBox 360 8 months ago and has not returned it either. I told him that I was concerned that I would not get the Wii back either. I told him to let me think about it and I would get back with him (I intended on discussing it with my husband first). My brother said calmly, "Never mind, I will just go ahead and buy one for myself." I said, "Okay."

About 15 minutes later, my dad calls and asks me if he was going to have to buy my brother a Wii. I told him that was between he and my brother and the decision was his. He said, "You really are not going to let him borrow the Wii for a few days?" I proceeded to explain to him the situation. He then stated that he could not believe that I would do that, that he can't believe I am "that kind of person" and that I am not being helpful to my family, and that my decision was going to "come back to haunt" me. I got angry at this point and told him that it was really my decision and that he should not be involved in it at all and should respect my decisions instead of guilting me. He then stated that this was a disrespectful comment to make to him. I told him again that this was my decision and a situation between me and my brother and that I was finished discussing it with him. I hung up.

I am so frustrated because I hate feeling guilted by him and I hate feeling like a bad person for making a decision someone didn't like. I am usually very helpful toward everyone in my family. I hardly ever say no to them. I just felt that since he had already failed to return one game console, why should I let him "borrow" another?

Anyway, what do you all think? Was I wrong? Right?

I am sorry...I cannot get past "has my XBOX360 for 8 months". I would get my happy behind in my car and go and get my XBOX360 and tell my brother and father to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

 

[FireDancer]

Can I point out the obvious here?

Why on earth would your father be buying a video game system for a 28 year old? WHy would your father be calling on behalf of a 28 year old? Why would you lend him one? If you two keep enabling him, he will stay this way forever, if it is not too late already.

Good for you for putting your foot down! He is 28, not 12!!!! He didn't return the other one, so you know how this will end.

My thoughts exactly.

Unless he has some kind of mental issues that has kept him from developing into a normal adult there is no way a 28 year old should run to daddy because you won't let him borrow a freaking video game.

If you aren't a big boy by 28 perhaps it's time to rethink life, not play the Wii.

 

[lillygator]

oh and tell him the Wii's are on sale $199~~@@~~!!

 

[BelleWDW]

Ok..wait...your brother who is 28 told your dad on you and your dad is going to buy him a Wii because you won't give him yours to use indefinately? And your Dad is mad at you? After the non return of the other gaming system I wouldn't lend it either.
!

LOL! My GAWD-your dad sounds like a whiney 4 year old!

 

[princess momma]

It sounds like your father is doing your brother a disservice by treating him like a child. He needs to grow up already.

A Wii is not something you borrow. That's so ridiculous!

You did the right thing, don't let them make you feel bad.

 

[golfgal]

Can I point out the obvious here?

Why on earth would your father be buying a video game system for a 28 year old? WHy would your father be calling on behalf of a 28 year old? Why would you lend him one? If you two keep enabling him, he will stay this way forever, if it is not too late already.

.

I was thinking the same thing, and that the XBOX was at Dad's house leads me to believe that the brother was living there???

 

[a1tinkfans]

Okay..this is a family issue and I would just like to know whether you all think I was right or wrong on it.

My brother (who is 28) called me today asking to "borrow" my son's Wii for a while (he just moved and does not have cable hooked up yet). I told him that I did not feel comfortable with that as he had "borrowed" my son's XBox 360 8 months ago and has not returned it either. I told him that I was concerned that I would not get the Wii back either. I told him to let me think about it and I would get back with him (I intended on discussing it with my husband first). My brother said calmly, "Never mind, I will just go ahead and buy one for myself." I said, "Okay."

About 15 minutes later, my dad calls and asks me if he was going to have to buy my brother a Wii. I told him that was between he and my brother and the decision was his. He said, "You really are not going to let him borrow the Wii for a few days?" I proceeded to explain to him the situation. He then stated that he could not believe that I would do that, that he can't believe I am "that kind of person" and that I am not being helpful to my family, and that my decision was going to "come back to haunt" me. I got angry at this point and told him that it was really my decision and that he should not be involved in it at all and should respect my decisions instead of guilting me. He then stated that this was a disrespectful comment to make to him. I told him again that this was my decision and a situation between me and my brother and that I was finished discussing it with him. I hung up.

I am so frustrated because I hate feeling guilted by him and I hate feeling like a bad person for making a decision someone didn't like. I am usually very helpful toward everyone in my family. I hardly ever say no to them. I just felt that since he had already failed to return one game console, why should I let him "borrow" another?

Anyway, what do you all think? Was I wrong? Right?

Hes 28, not a kid, he can go buy his own for goodness sakes. In addition, he has not even returned what he "borrowed" last time, RUDE and he is taking advantage of you...
SO, IMHO, I think you were RIGHT. As for your dad, hes just being "protective of his own" but at same time, I also think that he is WRONG for getting involved. I think I would have said, Dad, he borrowed last one and it STILL is not returned, He is an adult and has not shown much responsibility so, I'll think about it. Then if he continued with that other stuff he stated, I would say, Dad, lets agree to disagree hear cause we both feel we're right. Its my decision ultimately.
I would not be guilted into giving it to him either. He needs to Grow Up~ Family, ya gotta love em despite the craziness

 

[tink1978]

Thanks for the replies everyone. They made me feel better. I hate always second guessing myself. I know I was right about my decision and I am certainly sticking with it. And for the person who stated that they inferred that my brother was living with my parents is right. He was living with them. He just moved out. He has no job and no money, so guess who will be paying (not me, fyi)...he does have a lot of growing up to do. I don't mind helping when I can and when I think it is something reasonable, but I am tired of enabling and I am tired of being the bad guy....so I am stopping that all today. Thanks for all the responses again!

 

[golfgal]

Thanks for the replies everyone. They made me feel better. I hate always second guessing myself. I know I was right about my decision and I am certainly sticking with it. And for the person who stated that they inferred that my brother was living with my parents is right. He was living with them. He just moved out. He has no job and no money, so guess who will be paying (not me, fyi)...he does have a lot of growing up to do. I don't mind helping when I can and when I think it is something reasonable, but I am tired of enabling and I am tired of being the bad guy....so I am stopping that all today. Thanks for all the responses again!

Which will NEVER happen if Daddy keeps fighting his battles for him (not to mention buying gaming systems and whatever else for him). What does your mom say?

 

[tink1978]

Which will NEVER happen if Daddy keeps fighting his battles for him (not to mention buying gaming systems and whatever else for him). What does your mom say?

I agree, but Dad won't listen. Mom agrees with me, she is tired of how my brother is, but there is no talking or arguing with my dad, so she has stopped trying. I have a feeling it will all blow up in a few weeks and Dad will have to make a decision that pushes my brother to grow up (at least I hope that happens).

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I agree, but Dad won't listen. Mom agrees with me, she is tired of how my brother is, but there is no talking or arguing with my dad, so she has stopped trying. I have a feeling it will all blow up in a few weeks and Dad will have to make a decision that pushes my brother to grow up (at least I hope that happens).

Can you go and get your XBOX? Help the process along and for the love of God give your kid his game system back.

I want an XBOX360 soooo bad and this is killing me.

 

[tink1978]

Can you go and get your XBOX? Help the process along and for the love of God give your kid his game system back.

I want an XBOX360 soooo bad and this is killing me.

Oh yes..I plan on going over there today and picking it up.

 

[Liberty Belle]

You absolutely did nothing wrong. Your responsibility is helping your child fulfill his entertainment needs, if anything, not your adult brother's. There is no way I'd lend him the Wii, especially since he hasn't given back the XBox. He has a lot of darn nerve to ask for the Wii without giving back the XBox, anyway!

Your dad is being completely irrational. That is just absurd! It's not like your brother asked you for monetary help for medication or shelter. It's a game system!

 

[brockash]

Heck no, you weren't wrong, if anything you were probably nicer than I wouldv'e been. You should have told him that he could continue to play ther xbox that he hasn't returned to you yet, and no I wouldn't allow him to "borrow" anything else ever. I mean what the heck happened to the xbox? That's just rediculous, and honestly kinda rediculous to even ask to borrow his nephew's wii, even if there was no history. I'm sorry you have family members like this, but you did the right thing.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oh yes..I plan on going over there today and picking it up.

Oh good.

And if you get ANY grief I want to understand that your brother will have that XBOX at a GameStop getting cash for it pretty quick since he is going out on his own. Trust me on that.

 

[zippitydoo]

You were def not wrong. First of all how dare he ask for the wii when he still has the 360 you lent him. Not only that he calls daddy to try and force you to lend him the wii. Hold your ground do not cave in. Have you asked for the 360. Why would he need 2 of your consoles.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Ok..wait...your brother who is 28 told your dad on you and your dad is going to buy him a Wii because you won't give him yours to use indefinately? And your Dad is mad at you? After the non return of the other gaming system I wouldn't lend it either.
I would also wonder how your not giving up your stuff would come back to haunt you assuming you take care of all your own stuff and do not borrow big ticket items from others.
This will blow over and if all it takes is a $199 gaming system to end a family relationship than shame on them!

I didn't get past the rest of the comments because this pretty much summed it up for me!!

And I have a 42 yo DSis that whines to mommy if we aren't nice to her.