you mean I have to choose between another chapter and you vaccuming? hmmm.......
Missed you too
I'm all caught up so go vacuum real quick and get the next chapter up
Ok Chelle, fess up. Did you have to bite your tongue? Or sit on your fingers? Admit it, it was just killing you.
You do realize that it was totally intentional on my part misspelling vacuum, just to get Miss Diane Chambers to pull another "your such a Diane" act.
But, alas, I seem to have instead led her down the path of evil. Wanna bet that word get's a very painful "edit" when she comes home from work tonight?
Well, I hope you all are satisfied, I had no intention of having any drinks tonight. But I promised an update, and as they say, the trip report must go on, so here I am with a beer and a shot of Black Velvet in front of me.
Oh the sacrifices I have to make!
By the way, am I the only one who still wants to hit the rewind button when I'm done watching a movie on DVD?
Boy old habits die hard.
Does it look like I"m stalling here?
Cuz I am.
I don't have anything good, anybody got any funny stories?
Oh well, we'll see what happens.
Thursday morning we walked down to Epcot for rope drop.
I am trying not to get depressed, this is our last day at the Villas, tomorrow we have to go back to an All Star resort for 3 days, at least it's not Sports, but how do I know Music will be any better?
So tomorrow, it's "Once more unto the breach."
As far as a plan goes today, it's "Anything Goes." We'll play it by ear.
All we know for sure is we want some fastpasses right away.
It was a huge pleasure to find out that one thing we had heard about was true.
They used to stop you just past Canada for rope drop, then everybody coming in from the front would beat you by plenty to any of the Future World main attractions.
Not anymore.
Just inside the turnstyle, Diane took off for Test Track, she has the room keys for both of us to get fastpasses, then I'll meet her there.
I looked at my watch.
I don't think so.
So, with the Hare flying down the paths, the Tortoise is just plodding along, further and further behind her.
I felt kind of like my favorite cartoon, Virgil the Buzzard.
"I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee."
Turned out I was right.
The rope drop from this direction was right across from those coming in from the front, and standing at the rope right in front of me is Smidgy.
She jumped when I leaned into her ear, "Hey baby, come here often?"
They then drop THIS rope, and she's off and running again. I started thinking it might be fun if we ever did the parks together sometime.
By the time I got there, she already had a couple fastpasses so we got in line and rode what is still my favorite ride at Epcot with no wait.
There is a spot during the ride, right after the brake test where your car accelerates through tight turns. Without Ever saying it ahead of time, neither one of us can miss our cues or it would be a paradox and the universe would explode.
The male narrative voice from the preshow asks the woman, "Are you seeing an increase in lateral forces?"
We both must say very loudly along with the woman,
"Sure am!"
Yes, it's stupid, I know, but it ranks right up there with when we leave the house on a trip, "Annnnnnnd, we're off!"
The universe can relax, we were both right on it.
After the ride, we now have the problem of what to do until it's time to get a 'Soarin fastpass. (apostrophe trademarked)
Neither of us wants to do Ellen again, that's good every couple of years.
Last time I even kept shouting the answers to Albert Einstein, but he still just sat there.
SO we slowly headed back to the fountain, which unfortunately took us right by Mission: Spray. We stopped.
I looked at her. "I dunno, what do you think?"
"I dunno, what do you think, Marty?"
"Oh what the hell," I said, "Let's do it." "But if I'm going to bother, I don't want to do the non dying version, I want the real thing."
She hates it when I call it that.
The last few times whe have done this, it's been the weenie version for us, but neither of us has really had anything much to eat yet, so she agreed to do it with me.
It's amazing how some decisions are just SO much more clever when you're standing in front of a pavillion then when you get inside.
More and more lately, I'm having trouble with claustro, Smidgy says the same thing is happening with her.
With me, it's now so much small places, it's not being able to move my arms, being helpless. I have nightmares about being caught in an avalanche or a landslide.
This ride rates an 8 on the claustro meter.
Stitch is actually worse, that's a 9.
Along with the claustro, I also have a fear of heights, but with that it's a strange thing. For some reason I am attracted to them, like a moth to a bug zapper.
I love roller coasters, even though they scare me to death.
So, we have claustrophobia, and acrophobia.
There is one more thing I am also very afraid of, something I will try to avoid every opportunity I get and you can't talk me into .
That's dying.
I totally agree with Woody Alllen, "I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
As we were climbing into the cabin, suddenly I am getting terrified.
We are joined by two kids. Two kids with a look on there faces like, "Holy Smokes! Old people are riding this with us, awesome!"
I have heard this is the only ride in the world that comes with barf bags, but now I can't find them.
I glance at Smidgy, she is already doing what she's supposed to do, just stare at the screen in front of you.
My heart starts hammering.
I almost said, "Who is it?", because that's what I usually do when I get really nervous or scared, but I just clenched my teeth.
Then the side door closed, and the front panel swung in to our chests.
My only thought was that there wasn't enough room to die.
Take it easy, take it easy, yes, it's been a few years since you've done this, but you survived then and you'll survive now.
Yeah, but I was younger then, in better shape.
The ride starts and the ship lifts off.
Then it gets strange.
I have felt much stronger G forces on many roller coaster, including Rock and Roller Coaster, but they only last about 3 seconds and you can at least understand them cuz you see yourself take off.
But in this cabin, slowly your lips start pulling away from your teeth, your eyes turn into little slits, your face tries to join the back of your head and my glasses are now pressed right up against my retinas.
But Oh, look how sharp and clear the panel looks now!
I felt like I was about to die, I truly wished I had taken the 3 Vikes in my pocket, if not for the inevitable pain I am going to feel from the ensuing heart attack, at least to allay some of my fears and alter my mood.
Too late now.
A thought jumped into my head that dying in here is really going to screw up the rest of the trip, maybe even for Smidgy too.
If I do, somehow get out of here, I just dare little angel Nebo to show up and preach to me about the painkillers, those babies are gone, baby gone.
Just as my nose was touching my left ear, the forces stopped, and we were weightless for, oh, about .8 tenths of a second.
We had to got through the G thing one more time but not as bad, the worst was over and I knew at least I am not dying inside this cabin, I believe I'll wait until out in front of the pavillion where I can have a much bigger audience.
When it was over we headed directly to a smoking area , neither of us talking yet, but I had to say it first;
"So, wanna go again?"
_______________________________________________
We started over to Innoventions to kill more time, and passed the kids in our cabin with their parents. One of them gave me a "thumbs up" sign.
Great, I'm now getting thumbs ups from ten year olds.
( Those of you that have made the connection and know what's going to happen, shhhh, I'm getting to it.)
We were just walking aimlessly through the building, looking here, looking there, not really paying too much attention.
Then Diane saw the sign.
There was a reason I didn't suggest coming here directly from Test Track, I knew that if we got here too soonly there might not be a long wait and I'd have to try it.
But if I can put it off, "No, no, I don't feel like waiting that long for a simulater, maybe next time."
It's ten o'clock now, I know I'm safe.
She sees the sign, "The sum of all Thrills," and mentions it to me.
I was looking the other way.
"Oh yeah, forgot about that, must be a long line, right?"
"Nope, nobody at all out there, oh wait, here comes a cast member now." And before I can stop her she is off to the races once again.
Turns out they were slow in getting it up and running today, but,,,,,,,,they,,,,,,, are,,,,,,,, ready,,,,,,,,,NOW!
I had told her I would try this only if there was no wait, she said, "Uh uh, no way for me, mister."
After reading a review on it, I was really nervous about the claustro factor. Worse yet, my eyes still hadn't adjusted in here, I couldn't even see where the simulator was.
She went in with me, good thing too because I was real slow in catching on how to design my own roller coaster, it all has to do with math.
But I know we were doing it fast, but even still, we only got about a 3rd through the design when the computer took over the rest for us.
Then it spat out a personal design card that has the program on it and they told us to go see this other guy by the simulator.
And after looking at this huge, bright computer screen doing the designing, I still haven't gotten any inside vision yet.
I gave him the card, he told Diane where to wait, and then he led me up to this thing that I think looked like a big, metallic looking egg.
Then he told me to climb in.
I just stood there.
Diane saw, and she came back over and told him that I can't see, I need help.
Bless her heart.
He helped me inside.
How small and tight was it?
Let me put it this way:
Do you remember birth?
No, not your kids,,, I mean YOUR birth?
Well I do, and this was like being born, only in reverse.
The womb seemed like a family room compared to the little tiny space he squeezed me into.
Totally harnessed in, I could not even turn my head, my face was almost pressed up against a screen in front of me.
I almost started hyperventillating, I had to close my eyes.
Crap, I forgot to do what I said I was going to do as soon as I got off the Gary Sinise Death Ship, take the pills.
I couldn't believe it. Trust me, I don't forget things like that.
But I did, and now I'm going to pay for it.
I am not kidding, it was all I could do to maintain my sense of sanity, I came really close to totally losing it.
I CAN'T STAND NOT BEING ABLE TO MOVE!
I don't even like roller coasters that have the pull down harness over your head anymore. Going upside down doesn't bother me in the slightest, but I always try to stop the thing from coming all the way down and "clicking" too low. I hate it when the attendant then walks past all the seats and pushes down on the harnesses, I always try to bunch up my shoulders before he does it.
Right now I feel like a trundled up mummy in a sarcophagus.
Finally, the screen came to life and the ride started so I opened my eyes and stared at the screen.
No, there are no G forces here, just an overwhelming feeling of pressure from being so constrained.
I thought the graphics on the screen ranked right up there with a Colecovision, the ride didn't give you much feeliing of movement at all, and if they don't get me out of here soon, there is going to be another kind of movement.
When it was done, I closed my eyes again and had to sit there waiting for this egg to hatch, it seemed to take forever.
When it did I was out of there like a shot.
THe guy looked at me with a quizzical look on his face like, "Well, how did you like it?", but I wasn't in the mood, not even a little.
I looked at him and said, "It sucked."
I then did the same to Diane.
Without another word I headed to the fountain smoking area that is no longer there.
I know I passed a drinking fountain somewhere, took my pills, just not sure where now, my mind was not functioning too well right about then.
Standing by the ledge I told her all about the most incredible claustro I have ever experienced, but there was one good thing that came out of it.
"Oh, what's that?," she asked.
"There was no wait."
_______________________________________________
Over at the Land, we finally got fastpasses to Soarin, rode Living with the Land with about a 15 minute wait, then headed over to see the Great, Triumphant, although postumous, return of Michael Jackson in Captain EO.
We walked right into the pre show area, I was dreading the Kodak pre-show, "What if?", but it didn't seem to have played, and we went right into the theater.
The first time we saw this was in '92 with our sons. We only saw it once that trip and it was gone in '94.
I remember even then, thinking I like the other 3'D movies better, Muppets, and, over at the Magic Kingdom, Magic Journeys.
But with Disney, especially on your first trip, you cut them a lot more slack then we do now.
Yes, it was a piece of doo doo back then.
Now, it's way beyond that, I can't properly describe how bad it is.
It is not "camp".
Not "retro."
Not "Noir.", or Nostalgic.
It is just a huge, steaming pile of crap that never should have been revived.
Oh, by the way, I didn't like it.
I like Thriller, I think it's brilliant.
Even the dance scenes sucked in this movie, and there really wasn't any great 3-D effects.
Even the theater was half empty, this, in July, people caught on quick. Somebody posted here a month ago that they saw it and wanted a gallon of bleach to swallow and maybe wash the taste out of their mouths. That about sums it up.
This is time you won't get back that could have been better spent maybe, like having the dry heaves.
Rick Moranis never looked so good.
Since we were already there, we walked over to give Figment a try again, and another big mistake.
Nothing is cute in here, nothing even remotely clever, it's just time killing while you cool off from the heat, that's all.
As we walked to the exit, the ultimate "I can't believe it's not" line popped into my mind, even better than Smidgy's "I can't believe it's not Margaritas," line.
"Know what Diane?"
"What?"
"I can't believe it's not............
"Better."
Good night, ly/mi
) get us the maximum out of our trips.. Our vacations work out good, she plans, I figure out how we'll pay for 'em 
and most time book them, then she fills in the details; the kids and I show up and reap the rewards of all her work LOL ... It has worked for us quite well so far.. I give her a hard time about driving us into the "commando park visits" but really we have a great time all the same! 
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