Free Kate

[LisaR]

Adult according to the law, sure.

The law also says 18 year olds aren't mature/adult enough to consume or purchase alcohol, yet they're mature enough to join the military and buy cigarettes.

Basing maturity on the number of birthdays someone has had makes no sense to me (this isn't geared toward you, I'm just saying in general).

I don't disagree with you, but laws don't work based on maturity. We can't let some 18 y/o's drink because they can handle their booze, but say that others can't drink until they are 21 because they aren't mature enough. That isn't the way the law works. There is an age limit for most things and if you break it and are caught, you will face the consequences. If my 18 y/o drinks and gets busted, too bad for her. She knows the law and if she gets caught breaking it, I am not going to jump on Facebook and the news whining about my poor DD not knowing the law.

Right now the law says an 18 y/o cannot have sex with a 14 y/o. You may think 14 y/o are perfectly capable of making those choices but the law doesn't. The maturity of the 14 y/o isn't taken into account. The age is.

 

[punkin]

I don't disagree with you, but laws don't work based on maturity. We can't let some 18 y/o's drink because they can handle their booze, but say that others can't drink until they are 21 because they aren't mature enough. That isn't the way the law works. There is an age limit for most things and if you break it and are caught, you will face the consequences. If my 18 y/o drinks and gets busted, too bad for her. She knows the law and if she gets caught breaking it, I am not going to jump on Facebook and the news whining about my poor DD not knowing the law.

Right now the law says an 18 y/o cannot have sex with a 14 y/o. You may think 14 y/o are perfectly capable of making those choices but the law doesn't. The maturity of the 14 y/o isn't taken into account. The age is.

I agree with your comment overall, but really, is there a 14 yo on this planet who is mature enough to have sex and who actually understands what he/she is consenting to? I don't think so. I also think a lot of 18 yo are probably not mature enough either, but since they are legally adults and have had 4 extra years to mature to that point, I'm perfectly OK that the law punishes them.

 

[LisaR]

I agree with your comment overall, but really, is there a 14 yo on this planet who is mature enough to have sex and who actually understands what he/she is consenting to? I don't think so. I also think a lot of 18 yo are probably not mature enough either, but since they are legally adults and have had 4 extra years to mature to that point, I'm perfectly OK that the law punishes them.

Personally, no, I do not think any 14 y/o is mature enough to consent to sex. However, if I found out my 14 y/o was having sex, I wouldn't immediately press charges until I found out more details. If they were being talked into it, forced, bullied, etc, I'd press charges in a heartbeat. If my kid was delusional enough to think they were in love and this was meant to be, I'd go to counseling instead of the police.

 

[punkin]

Personally, no, I do not think any 14 y/o is mature enough to consent to sex. However, if I found out my 14 y/o was having sex, I wouldn't immediately press charges until I found out more details. If they were being talked into it, forced, bullied, etc, I'd press charges in a heartbeat. If my kid was delusional enough to think they were in love and this was meant to be, I'd go to counseling instead of the police.

In this case, the 18 yo actually helped the 14 yo run away. After that, I would definitely be calling the police.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

The idea that a 14 year old is unable to consent to having safe sex is ridiculous. Not too long ago in this country, you were expected to be getting ready to marry and bear children at that age.

 

[punkin]

The idea that a 14 year old is unable to consent to having safe sex is ridiculous. Not too long ago in this country, you were expected to be getting ready to marry and bear children at that age.

Wrong!

http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005061.html

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Wrong!

http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005061.html

Yeah, I'm not wrong. I didn't say median age. But there were women who got married at 14. There are people who get married NOW at 16 in this country. But that's besides the point. The point is, there's nothing wrong or shameful about a 14 year old having safe sex. If her partner is 18, that's another story, but there's nothing wrong with a teenager having sex.

 

[chobie]

I agree with your comment overall, but really, is there a 14 yo on this planet who is mature enough to have sex and who actually understands what he/she is consenting to? I don't think so. I also think a lot of 18 yo are probably not mature enough either, but since they are legally adults and have had 4 extra years to mature to that point, I'm perfectly OK that the law punishes them.

I agree, in theory, that we have to draw a line and that a 14 cannot consent to having sex. However, to shriek about an "ADULT having sex with a CHILD," really seems hyperbolic in this situation. We have an older teenager having sex with a younger teenage classmate. This is not in the same category as an 28 year old raping an 8 year old or a teacher having sex with a teenage student.

There should be laws, yes, to protect young teenagers, but this is very minor, IMO, in comparison to any other sexual crime.

And, people don't "press charges," only the State presses charges. If the state did not find PC here, they would not have pressed charges regardless of the parents wishes, in fact, the police did a controlled called to get enough PC, before arrest -- they did not just arrest on the parents' complaint. On the flip side, even if the parents decided they would not want to go forward, it's out if their hands.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

I agree, in theory, that we have to draw a line and that a 14 cannot consent to having sex.

Except for the fact that 1/4 of teenagers DO have sex by the time they turn 15.

 

[LisaR]

Yeah, I'm not wrong. I didn't say median age. But there were women who got married at 14. There are people who get married NOW at 16 in this country. But that's besides the point. The point is, there's nothing wrong or shameful about a 14 year old having safe sex. If her partner is 18, that's another story, but there's nothing wrong with a teenager having sex.

Do you have a 14 y/o? From your signature, it looks like you only have cats. Do you really think you would be happy if your 14 y/o was sexually active and your 16 y/o was married? That wouldn't seem odd to you in the least?

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Do you have a 14 y/o? From your signature, it looks like you only have cats. Do you really think you would be happy if your 14 y/o was sexually active and your 16 y/o was married? That wouldn't seem odd to you in the least?

Nope, no kids. But I work in sex education, and no matter what I think of a teenager having sex, they are going to. My opinion doesn't matter.

 

[LisaR]

Except for the fact that 1/4 of teenagers DO have sex by the time they turn 15.

This says only 13% of teens have sex by the time they are 15. On average, they have sex for the first time when they are 17.

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html

 

[OceanAnnie]

It's wild to me to see people are okay with a 14 year old having sex. This thread has been amazing to read.

 

[mhsjax]

Yeah, I'm not wrong. I didn't say median age. But there were women who got married at 14. There are people who get married NOW at 16 in this country. But that's besides the point. The point is, there's nothing wrong or shameful about a 14 year old having safe sex. If her partner is 18, that's another story, but there's nothing wrong with a teenager having sex.

Sure there is, there is everything wrong with a 14 year old having sex. I am sorry, but to say that there is nothing wrong with it is totally irresponsible.

Yes people get married at 16, so what. Sure people used to get married and have kids at 14, but they only lived to be around the ripe old age of 40-45.

a 14 year old has no business having sex, PERIOD.

Are teens going to have sex, sure they are. They are also going to drink and do drugs, doesn't make that right either.

 

[LisaR]

Nope, no kids. But I work in sex education, and no matter what I think of a teenager having sex, they are going to. My opinion doesn't matter.

Kids are going to do it so we should just toss out all the laws and let them have at it!

 

[CaliBear]

It's wild to me to see people are okay with a 14 year old having sex. This thread has been amazing to read.

I haven't read the whole thread, but I peek in every so often. I agree. I do not get people saying it is ok for 14 year olds to have sex. Yes, many 14 year olds DO have sex. That does not mean they are emotionally ready to. People arguing, "well, they're going to do it anyway" are missing the point.

 

[punkin]

Sure there is, there is everything wrong with a 14 year old having sex. I am sorry, but to say that there is nothing wrong with it is totally irresponsible.

Yes people get married at 16, so what. Sure people used to get married and have kids at 14, but they only lived to be around the ripe old age of 40-45.

a 14 year old has no business having sex, PERIOD.

Are teens going to have sex, sure they are. They are also going to drink and do drugs, doesn't make that right either.

Yes!!!!!

 

[chobie]

It's wild to me to see people are okay with a 14 year old having sex. This thread has been amazing to read.

No one is "okay,"with it. But some do have sex at that age and it seems odd that there are no criminal repercussions when a 14 year old has sex with another 14 year old or a fifteen or sixteen year old, but If Senior who 's had their 18th birthday has sex with a Freshman than charge them with felonies and brand them like you would an adult molesting a 4 year old.

Most people are seeing this issue as more of a grey area than black and white one, but that doesn't mean they are okay with 14 year olds having sex.

 

[punkin]

No one is "okay,"with it. But some do have sex at that age and it seems odd that there are no criminal repercussions when a 14 year old has sex with another 14 year old or a fifteen or sixteen year old, but If Senior who 's had their 18th birthday has sex with a Freshman than charge them with felonies and brand them like you would an adult molesting a 4 year old.

Most people are seeing this issue as more ifs grey area than black and white one, but that doesn't mean they are okay with 14 year olds having sex.

That's not exactly true. The penalties are vastly different. However, to address your other point: two 14 yo having sex, while very disturbing does not create criminal liability because they are both incapable of consenting. Moreover, there is no inherent inequality in that relationship. An 18 yo senior and a 14 yo freshman are inherently unequal. I would not say that about an 18 yo senior and a 17 year old junior, but 14 and 18 are different worlds.

 

[LisaR]

No one is "okay,"with it. But some do have sex at that age and it seems odd that there are no criminal repercussions when a 14 year old has sex with another 14 year old or a fifteen or sixteen year old, but If Senior who 's had their 18th birthday has sex with a Freshman than charge them with felonies and brand them like you would an adult molesting a 4 year old.

Most people are seeing this issue as more ifs grey area than black and white one, but that doesn't mean they are okay with 14 year olds having sex.

That "magic number" of 18 saved one of those 17 y/o Stubenville boys. Had he been just a few months older, there wouldn't have been an option of charging him as a minor. But we need some kind of a line and 18 has usually been the number of choice. People need to know that it is a whole new ballgame if they make a bad decision once they turn 18.