For those of you who have been my friends

[Keli]

Becky, I read the threads (both the closed one and the current one) that you started. I am sorry about your situation and what has come to pass.

 

[sudiequ]

I don't frequent the boards like most of you, i just sit around and spy on everyone while waiting for my upcoming trip . I just wanted to let you know i will keep you in my prayers.

I realize the last thing you need here is more advice, but there are times when the following quote has helped me....Focus on what you have to do, not what you've already done. In other words, look to the future, and don't dwell on the past. Good Luck to you and your kids! {{{{hugs}}}}

Sue

 

[honeywolf7]

Sudiequ, I actually could use that bit of advice. Thank you.
[[[Hugs those of you who honestly do care-and you probably know who you are better than I do-goodbye]]]

 

[NHAnn]

I hope that you can find the help you need to get your life in order and take care of your kids ....as JJ said, this Board cannot provide that kind of help for you.
Even though I concur with some of the concerns expressed about about how you are handling things and the effect on your kids, and some of the comments have been offered as blunt advice, I do think a lot of them are just downright sarcastic and that is disturbing to me.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that in time you will be able to come back to the nicer aspects of the CB.

 

[snoopy]

I didn't see anyone saying you shouldn't get a degree. You'd have to point that out to me. While I do think some people on the thread responded to you rather bluntly, I agree with robinb that it wasn't mean spirited.

What I observed was people suggesting you study something that will earn you the money that is needed in order to raise two children as a single parent. You should never compromise your dreams, Becki, but dreams can be be put on hold while you pursue a practical career and get yourself established. After you are established, then you can study whatever it is that interests you, but right now, I think most people were pointing out that your main priority should be getting settled first.

 

[ryanpatricksmom]

Becki, I am unaware of any history with you and the boards until these last two threads. I posted today based on those only. As an observer who came late in the game, it's apparent to me that there are alot of things in your life that need to get resolved. I would encourage you to heed some of the advice that you received....get professional help to sort out the emotional baggage, and fix the present before you even contemplate moving forward. I don't think that anyone here faults you for poor choices that you have made in the past, but more for your reluctance to take steps to correct the problems created as a result. Another member wisely posted that you should take the time that you would have spent posting on these boards, and spend it with someone who can truly help you.

 

[aprincessmom]

However, when it came to saying that I shouldn't get a college degree or that that didn't make sense, that's when I felt like it got into attacks...It doesn't matter now, though.

I don't think those were attacks...I think they were the comments of people genuinely puzzled by your actions. The path you are mapping out for yourself from an educational perspective does not seem to align with the path you say you want to take to resolve your personal issues.

Either way, the advice people gave you was solid. I don't know that you are ready to take or act on it and maybe that's why you feel people are attacking you. Sometimes pixie dust and hugs aren't the answer. At the end of the day, it is harder to tell people what they don't want to hear and even harder to accept that which you don't want to hear but know in your heart as true.

And as much advice as anyone can give you, it will never truly matter unless you make an honest decision to change things. The things you want to change in your life are enormous, complex, and will not change quickly. It will take many years to undo what has been done to date and come to a place where you are secure, happy, and ready to forge ahead. If you are truly serious in making these things come true there will be many things you have to do immediately that you won't like. It will improve over time but life is not a Disney fairy tale. It's not neatly wrapped up in 90 minutes.

I am a single mom. I know how hard it is to juggle work and family. I also know that you can't be everything to everyone, including yourself. College will still be there when your children don't need you as much. Right now your children are suffering silently in emotional pain. You may not realize or recognize it. Focus on them. Your psychology degree can wait.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I didn't read the threads in question, so I can't/won't comment on them. I just want to say that you will be missed and I am sorry that you got your feelings hurt. I'll be hoping for the best for you.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I think you can definately use a bit of a break right now Becki.
Quite honestly you have alot of issues to work out and sitting here on the DIS isn't going to solve them. Whenever you have one of these "thread blowups" you get very angry with everybody when they don't feed you whatever it is that you think you deserve to hear.

I know you feel a beat up and sad right now. But quite honestly sometimes honesty and bluntness are much better for us in the long run than Pixie Dust and hugs. The things that people are saying may seem hurtful to you, but believe me when I say that what you are seeing is advice from many people who have been there and done that. They see you making huge mistakes and digging yourself in deeper and deeper.

Alot of the time it's obvious that you even know that these things are mistakes, because you do your best to twist your stories and cover them up and make them appear prettier than what we all know they really are.

I am sorry about your past -- about your father abusing you and about your troubles with Thom. Nobody should have to live through that, but unfortunately many of us have and many of us still do. I can tell you something that was once said to me in a Counselling session though:

"Ok, that story wins you a Poor Baby, but it doesn't give you a Get Out of Jail Free" excuse for screwing up the rest of your life and your kid's lives."

I hope you work it out Becki. For your sake and the sake of your children.

 

[wovenwonder]

I didn't post on the 'other' threads but was amazed when I read them. I don't know you --- but my perception is that you are just looking for acceptance and justification wherever you can find it. By saying goodbye now I'm sure it is making you feel very good hearing people say they don't want you to leave -- it's the acceptance you appear to be looking for.

I enjoy reading your posts - and if you cannot find what you are looking for on the DIS I hope you can find it somewhere in your life. I wish you the best.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm really sorry to see you go, but if you feel it's the best for you at this particular time then I fully support your decision..

Maybe you can come back again when things are going better for you..

Till then, I wish you and your children all the best!

C.Ann

 

[EROS]

We'll miss you . I'm sorry to see you go.........

 

[minniepumpernickel]

I just want to ay good luck to you too, Becki! Perhaps when some peoples obsession with you ends, you'll come back! Remember it's only a BB!

 

[olena]

Take care of your family, Becki. I respect your decisions and will miss you very much.....*HUGS*

 

[nativetxn]

I hope you will visit us occasionally. You have to do what is best for you.

 

[Kitty 34]

I don't usually get involved with the "controversial" threads around here.......as a Substitute teacher, I get enough controvery in my life!!..........however, Becki, I went and read your thread and I really have to agree with the words of wisdom that Snoopy mentioned on this thread.

I really don't think anyone was being intentionally mean to you....they were just saying things that you obviously aren't ready and willing to hear at this point.

Maybe taking a breather from the DIS will be good for you......and when you get some things straightened out, please, please come back and share with us!


Bye for now.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

After reading this post (I'm in a cynical mood today) and seeing YAGE, and decided to go back and read the other posts mentioned here.

So, since I rarely enter the controversy here, I'll add one thought: You seem to like to blame others for the issues in your life. It's not your Ex, or your Father, or your Daughter, or the people on the DIS. No the school, or the photographer, or anyone else.

Be a grownup. Take responsibility for yourself. If you want what's best for your kids, become a parent. Don't blame anyone else any more.

It's blunt, but just MHO. Which, BTW, I rarely give.

I wish you luck. I truly mean that.

 

[DocRafiki]

There goes the entertainment.

Really, I know this is in vain, but please read these posts as they are meant. Instead of trying to come up with "comebacks" to everything you read, try to actually understand the words that are written and take them to heart.

 

[goofygirl]

I hope you decide to stay here. I think you are a very interesting person.

 

[Dan Murphy]

We have talked, Becki. My best. {Hugs}