Family along on vacation how much should they pay? (really long!!)

[LukenDC]

If I were you, I would contact the SIL and tell her that you hope that she enjoyed the trip. After exchanging pleasantries, remind her that she had agreed to split the cost of the trip with you and tell her how much she owes and when she needs to pay it. Be pleasant and matter-of-fact. Don't mention any other annoyances---what's done is done. Getting your money and maintaining peace in the family are the most important objectives.

Good luck!

 

[VSL]

Too bad you can't add a little for "pain and suffering!"

Hmmm, it is a tempting thought..

Just Kidding..

Oh, and a big for the OP - think we need to start up another thread about travelling with family to WDW? They're always so entertaining! - I don't know how you do it!
____
My mother has been on to me about taking my future children to WDW (I'm 21.. me and my BF still live at home!). I was like, 'No, for the first trip it's just going to be me, Jay, and the child[ren]'. (It will probably be like that for all trips - I have no desire to go travelling with our parents, especially mine.. it would be a very explosive environment!)

Her reply: 'What if you can't ever afford to go to WDW with the kids? Wouldn't you let us take them?' (again, me and Jay have no plans to let our parents take our children on holiday without us..)
Also, bear in mind that these comments came after she invited and then uninvited us to a trip to Las Vegas/San Fransisco/California (she invited us thinking we would say 'no', and then kicked up a fuss when we said 'yes', and then finally admitted that the holiday was already booked).

To all you people who travel with extra family: (especially to those who are treated poorly while on holiday and manage to bite your tongue!)

 

[Hermosa11]

Quote:
Originally Posted by LiteBrite
You could let it go, but I'm afraid you'll be faced with a similar situation in the future if you don't deal with this now. Since you've already got the $600 - $700 figure in mind, go ahead and tell her that's how much her share of the vacation is. She'll either pay it or she won't, but I would guess she'd be less likely to try to crash your next trip if you ask for the money now. Even if she doesn't pay you, if she did try to pull this number the next time you'll have the fact that she never paid you back to give as a reason for saying no.


I think this is great advice--she should know she won't have a "free ride" in the future. Also, I would never mention another vacation (until a day or two before, if you must ) to her or your brother.

I am in total agreement with these comments. Do your best to collect, but since you let sil into this trip, you may also expect no collection.
Good luck on collecting!

 

[jim and meesie]

If I were you, I would contact the SIL and tell her that you hope that she enjoyed the trip. After exchanging pleasantries, remind her that she had agreed to split the cost of the trip with you and tell her how much she owes and when she needs to pay it. Be pleasant and matter-of-fact. Don't mention any other annoyances---what's done is done. Getting your money and maintaining peace in the family are the most important objectives.

Good luck!

Trust me, I had my smiling ZEN like happy face on the whole time!! I was so ZEN I may have looked drugged!!!! Only now that I'm home does my husband have to hear my venting. My nephew (who I love because he is my nephew) is not a new issue. I have babysat for him for multiple days before when his parents have gone away. He is handsome and sweet but totally out of control spoiled in that way that children who spend too much time alone with adults and no other kids his own age can be. He is polite, lots of "yes mam and yes sir" but far too controlling, never been told NO. The funniest example was while we were in the room one night. There were two TVs (in different parts of the room) and my son and his friend wanted to watch the basketball game. Unfortunately my nephew insisted on having both TVs on to "Sponge Bob" so he could watch it on two TVS at the same time (no kidding, I guess he gets away with that at home). His mom thought it was a riot!! My son asked if he could change it but when my nephew made a big deal out of it my son and his friend took out his Playstation portable and started playing with that instead. I was so proud of how my son just sucked it up and ignored the annoying behavior, no complaints.

 

[VSL]

The funniest example was while we were in the room one night. There were two TVs (in different parts of the room) and my son and his friend wanted to watch the basketball game. Unfortunately my nephew insisted on having both TVs on to "Sponge Bob" so he could watch it on two TVS at the same time (no kidding, I guess he gets away with that at home). His mom thought it was a riot!!

 

[figment52]

Since she wasn't invited by you to be your guest she should contribute to the cost of the trip.

How is your relationship with your brother? Can you call when she isn't there so you have to talk to him and just bring it up - "I was calling with the figures for SIL, her portion of the trip expenses are $$$". DOes he really expect you to pay for their trip? My brother would be mortified, but then my sibilings would never let this happen to any of us (yes, I know how lucky I am - my father mentioned that fact to us very often).

You should not have to foot her bill. This just rubs me the wrong way. I feel so bad for you. And it isn't just the money - it changed the tone and relaxation level of your trip.

 

[Pam]

I would tell her, "I've figured it out and you owe me $xxxx for your share of the room, rental car, food and other stuff."

Yep - that's what I would do. I WOULDN'T let it go - she horned in - she should pay up!!

 

[FayeW]

You could let it go, but I'm afraid you'll be faced with a similar situation in the future if you don't deal with this now. Since you've already got the $600 - $700 figure in mind, go ahead and tell her that's how much her share of the vacation is. She'll either pay it or she won't, but I would guess she'd be less likely to try to crash your next trip if you ask for the money now. Even if she doesn't pay you, if she did try to pull this number the next time you'll have the fact that she never paid you back to give as a reason for saying no.

I was going to post the exact same thing. In this case, just asking for the money may be enough to avert this from happening again!

I really don't understand why you allowed your son and his friend to "suck it up" regarding the 2 T.V. issue. I would have just told the kid, "sorry, there is no need of that, the other boys are watching something else. Don't be selfish!"

 

[winniedapooh]

I was going to post the exact same thing. In this case, just asking for the money may be enough to avert this from happening again!

I really don't understand why you allowed your son and his friend to "suck it up" regarding the 2 T.V. issue. I would have just told the kid, "sorry, there is no need of that, the other boys are watching something else. Don't be selfish!"

I would have done similar.

 

[VSL]

I really don't understand why you allowed your son and his friend to "suck it up" regarding the 2 T.V. issue. I would have just told the kid, "sorry, there is no need of that, the other boys are watching something else. Don't be selfish!"

Kid's gotta learn somehow!

 

[Hannathy]

Do you ever spend time with them together? It is a lot harder to get out of something in person than over the phone. Like when they visit or you visit just say in front of both "oh by the way I have the final figure on the trip your portion comes to $____" This way she has to answer on front of everyone and your brother is sitting there. There is no way I would have made my kids change the TV, I may have been inclined to say "I guess you three will have to fight it out if you can't each have one tv" I can't see one spoiled brat physically changing the TV from 2 normal boys watching basketball. Where I grew up HE would have been going out to get soda for the others when they were done with him not watching sponge bob.

 

[lulugirl]

Send her an itemized bill.

 

[S. C.]

Do you ever spend time with them together? It is a lot harder to get out of something in person than over the phone. Like when they visit or you visit just say in front of both "oh by the way I have the final figure on the trip your portion comes to $____" This way she has to answer on front of everyone and your brother is sitting there.

ITA

 

[PaulaSue]

Ouch. What a miserable trip!!!

I'd figure up the room and food expenses, and tell her "Here's what your half comes to."

Too bad you can't add a little for "pain and suffering!"

Ditto!

 

[raammartin]

I agree with some of the other posters - there's no way I'd be able to let that kind of money go. Good luck and let us know what happens.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

cant wait to here how this ends up

 

[karebear1]

Get your money, and then make sure she doesn't do the same thing again.

The best way to make sure she DOESN'T invite herself along again is to make sure she pays for her portion of the trip NOW! IF you let it go- it'll be a free vacation for her whenever she decides she wants to go with you.

 

[jim and meesie]

Since she wasn't invited by you to be your guest she should contribute to the cost of the trip.

How is your relationship with your brother? Can you call when she isn't there so you have to talk to him and just bring it up - "I was calling with the figures for SIL, her portion of the trip expenses are $$$". DOes he really expect you to pay for their trip? My brother would be mortified, but then my sibilings would never let this happen to any of us (yes, I know how lucky I am - my father mentioned that fact to us very often).

You should not have to foot her bill. This just rubs me the wrong way. I feel so bad for you. And it isn't just the money - it changed the tone and relaxation level of your trip.

I love my brother and we are close. If I get him involved he would be mortified but I guess I just don't want to be the source of an argument between the two of them!!!

 

[diznygirl]

It's the old Dear Abby saying - the only way people can walk all over you is if you let them! Stop letting them.

You should definitely ask for the money - if you do it in front of your brother then you have a witness. You may never see the money, but I agree it will discourage this kind of behavior in the future.

Good luck.

 

[jim and meesie]

Do you ever spend time with them together? It is a lot harder to get out of something in person than over the phone. Like when they visit or you visit just say in front of both "oh by the way I have the final figure on the trip your portion comes to $____" This way she has to answer on front of everyone and your brother is sitting there. There is no way I would have made my kids change the TV, I may have been inclined to say "I guess you three will have to fight it out if you can't each have one tv" I can't see one spoiled brat physically changing the TV from 2 normal boys watching basketball. Where I grew up HE would have been going out to get soda for the others when they were done with him not watching sponge bob.

I actually would have loved to see a little more friction between the boys over this one. Instead I got an eyeroll like "Mom you told me we had to be nice to him!" That's why I was proud of his behavior!! My kids no angel but at least he chooses his battles. I think we all are at the point of just feeling sorry for my nephew, that kind of behavior doesn't buy any friends. We have tried the "we don't do that in our house" when we've babysat but unfortunately I will not discipline another person's kid when the parents are right there. Fortunately the friend my son brought is one of the easiest going kids you'll ever meet (middle child of 6 kids with amazing do it all parents). This trip could have been a child psychology case study!!! After the trip was over my son hugged and thanked me profusely telling me it would have been miserable if it were just he and his cousin!


All thanks for your support, my husband thinks it's funny that I went to you DISers after all my venting to him. I have to say I feel much better about it. They do live right nearby so I might pop in with some pictures from the trip, "oh by the way...,.." since she hasn't bothered to check in with me. My brother is probably hearing an earful of how my son and his friend didn't play with my nephew enough so it's probably best to nip that in the bud by telling him what a great time we all had!!!! OK so it's a small lie but I will keep you all posted on how this all shakes out!