Extra screening-just wow...

[Mike&AllisMom]

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[DWillowBay]

In light of recent events, I'm just grateful for Disney's high level of security. Blessings on them!!

 

[jrmasm]

Please, tell us your secrets. How do you teach a child not to feel a certain way?

It's simple really. Don't get your feelings hurt by a joke.

 

[Jennasis]

Well, since it seems that now everyone goes through the extra screening it won't be a problem. A failed attempt at humor on the guards part, nothing more.

 

[DopeyDame]

Agreed, especially since in this case it accomplishes nothing. Security guards are the ones who are supposedly trained to keep an eye out for suspicious persons or activity. Fulfilling an apparent security quota by asking who is the most convenient for a screening is not a security effort.

I think this situation warrants a comment actually.

Or, on the flip side, it gave the security guard a chance to actually interact with people, which when trained correctly can be an incredibly useful thing. He was able to put them slightly off balance and watch their reactions. I have absolutely no idea if this particular guard was just being weird (and it is a weird, uncomfortable question), or if it was actually part of security to be interacting with people and watching their reactions and responses.

 

[Mike&AllisMom]

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[Angel Ariel]

The security checks are supposed to be random, what better way to make them random than letting the kids pick.

Not all kids are able to choose, and families don't need one more reminder of what their kid can't do that most can.

 

[Angel Ariel]

I have taught my children not to be so sensitive.

Not at all. It's simply my approach to parenting.

Parenting doesn't always control how a child reacts. Children have valid feelings and emotions all their own, no matter what they've been taught by their parents. Parents can teach them not to be sensitive, but that doesn't mean a child won't ever get their feelings hurt by something.

 

[Mike&AllisMom]

Not all kids are able to choose, and families don't need one more reminder of what their kid can't do that most can.

The post you quoted wasn't mine. Not sure why I am listed? I don't agree at all with letting the kids pick.

 

[Angel Ariel]

The post you quoted wasn't mine. Not sure why I am listed? I don't agree at all with letting the kids pick.

Oh I don't know how that happened! you weren't who I quoted! I'll fix it. Sorry!

 

[Klayfish]

I dunno about all this. I guess I'm just really old school. To me, we all have common sense and know where there's a "line" that gets crossed. If the guard was truly just trying to make a joke, and as I've said this exact thing happened to us at WDW, whether I think it was in bad taste or not I wouldn't get all bent out of shape over it. I've had plenty of guards ask me or the kids goofy questions that are almost face palm worthy, but they're clearly trying to be funny and personable. I'm not going to fault them for it, even if it were to upset my kid.

I would so much rather the guards and the CMs do what they do and try to be engaging than have them just be as bland as vanilla so as to be sure not to offend anyone. Otherwise, they could all just hold recordings in their hand that repeat "Thank you, have a nice day". Again, we can all use common sense.

 

[Naterfan]

Wouldn't have bothered me. I would have seen it as it was intended, as a joke.

It doesn't matter how you would have seen it, it would only matter how the 6yr old perceived it. Some kids would feel an incredible amount of quilt over their choice, and most would have seen the security guard as an authority figure, which would mean, I hope, that they felt compelled to take the question/situation seriously.

 

[LisaCM614]

Or, on the flip side, it gave the security guard a chance to actually interact with people, which when trained correctly can be an incredibly useful thing. He was able to put them slightly off balance and watch their reactions. I have absolutely no idea if this particular guard was just being weird (and it is a weird, uncomfortable question), or if it was actually part of security to be interacting with people and watching their reactions and responses.

I agree with you. I think he is well trained. Ask 'dopey' 'weird' questions and people that are "acting normal" will be exposed as opposed to those that are truly your regular park visitors.
My kids have been asked a host of weird questions by Customs agents and TSA. Granted mine aren't in a stroller but we prepare the kids that these people are just trying to keep us all safe. We'll be visiting the parks in a couple weeks, I'll be sure to let my kids know that there is extra security and they might be approached by security or that mommy or daddy might have extra screening just like what happens at the airport sometimes.

 

[jrmasm]

Parenting doesn't always control how a child reacts. Children have valid feelings and emotions all their own, no matter what they've been taught by their parents. Parents can teach them not to be sensitive, but that doesn't mean a child won't ever get their feelings hurt by something.

If my child gets upset about something that I feel is no big deal, I take a moment to explain to them why it's no big deal. Kids aren't born knowing how to read situations, they have to be taught.

It doesn't matter how you would have seen it, it would only matter how the 6yr old perceived it. Some kids would feel an incredible amount of quilt over their choice, and most would have seen the security guard as an authority figure, which would mean, I hope, that they felt compelled to take the question/situation seriously.

And if my child reacted that way to the situation described by the OP, I would explain that the guard was joking and encourage the child to joke back.

 

[Magpie]

To all of you who said it wouldn't bother you - if it upset your child it would. What if the child asked had autism? You can't tell by looking at a child that they might have a difficult time with a question like that. Now if you ask my teenagers, they would love answering this Not really an appropriate question for a young child in a stroller though.

I have sensitive children. Well, they're adults now, but when they were six, you could count on the too-clever-by-half one to overthink everything, wallowing in guilt and anxiety, and the hypoglycemic, grouchy one might just take anything you did or said as the end of the world and react accordingly.

We did our best to teach them, "Always assume good intentions, until proven otherwise!" when it came to interacting with strangers. With regards to this guard, if they got upset, we'd remind them that he was almost certainly joking and meant no harm.

And we emphasized to them both that hurt feelings never killed anyone.

We have SO many stories about the kids getting their feelings hurt over some well-intentioned adult humour. Example: My son accompanied his sister to a pre-surgical consult. He was a big four year old, and the doctor incorrectly assumed he was older than his six year old sister, and began teasing him, trying to lighten the mood. Instead, my son started to cry. What did we do? We laughed! And we reassured the doctor that she'd done nothing wrong. We reassured our son and pointed out how cool it was that she thought he was the BIG brother.

What didn't we do? We did NOT criticize the doctor for a well-meant misstep. We all misread social situations sometimes, and we all make mistakes, and often those "mistakes" would be not be mistakes at all in a slightly different circumstance. This definitely wasn't one of those cases where I think the doctor should refrain from joking with other siblings. It's just that my kid is the exception. Oh well! Everyone kiss and make up and we'll all move on.

My children may have been delicate wee flowers on occasion, but I refused to treat them as such, regardless. Crying won't hurt them. They can learn to get over irrational feelings of guilt. Psychiatrists exist to help with overwhelming anxiety (both kids saw them, on occasion).

My job was to coach and guide my kids until they could function in the real world, without me. I never saw my job as protecting them from questions like, "Who is your favourite parent?"

 

[Angel Ariel]

If my child gets upset about something that I feel is no big deal, I take a moment to explain to them why it's no big deal. Kids aren't born knowing how to read situations, they have to be taught.

Not all kids are able to understand why it's no big deal, regardless of what their parent explains/teaches, which is the point the PP was trying to make.

 

[Mike&AllisMom]

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[TiggerBouncy]

Not sure where the guard was going with that one. I would have thought a better and more reasonable question would have been to ask the child what their parent's name was.

in any case, it was poor taste, but not really a danger.

I agree with the poster who said I would rather them focus on security though, and frankly I don't care a whole ton about how well their interpersonal skills are so long as they are not picking people up and throwing them against walls unless they are a true danger.

 

[Klayfish]

According to my kids, sometimes even the dog would be a better parent than I am...

 

[Magpie]

You are such a better parent than I am.

I'm not really sure how to respond...

Maybe you're being sarcastic, in which case, okay! Peace.

Maybe you're being sincere, in which case, I highly recommend, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's "Raising Your Spirited Child": http://www.parentchildhelp.com/ She really helped me get my sea legs when it came to managing my kids (who came with a host of unusual issues, both physical and learning). You've mentioned your son is anxious - she addresses that side of things quite well.

I was far from a perfect parent, but I'm pretty satisfied with the way my kids have turned out as adults. I work with kids who have learning difficulties now.