Extra screening-just wow...

[Mike&AllisMom]

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[Jadyreen1282]

According to my kids, sometimes even the dog would be a better parent than I am...

Now that's a kid that gets it! Iiiiiii... Like it.

 

[littledebbie335]

Sarcasm. It's not nice to judge others parenting skills and you seem pretty satisfied that your way is right. What works for yours does not work for mine.

I thought what Magpie wrote was very nice, and it seemed to be written with the idea of helping other parents who might be struggling by providing an example of how she dealt with miscommunications and not with the intent of seeming better than anyone else. I don't think it was a personal attack on you or judgement about how other parents handle their children. I think anyone who has kids or who has worked with/around kids can appreciate that what works for one does not always work for another, and that's ok! What Magpie did was right...for her kids. What you do is also right...for your kid(s).

 

[Tonka's Skipper]

It just shows no matter who says anything, there is always someone ready to run rigth up and be hurt or insulted...............This is just a big nothing, and it would still be a big nothing in my kids had been involved.

AKK

 

[Magpie]

Sarcasm. It's not nice to judge others parenting skills and you seem pretty satisfied that your way is right. What works for yours does not work for mine.

Ah... well, glad you're confident in whatever it is you're doing. I took you at your word earlier, when you said you wished you could help your son with his anxiety.

By the way, I have no intention of judging you. I don't know you. I was explaining (in excruciating detail, yes ) what we did, and answering your question.

If you felt that was an attack on your particular approach to parenting, my apologies. However, I really can't support any campaign to prevent security guards from joking with young children (thinking in particular of suggestions in this thread to "report" the guard). I think we all (adults and children) need to learn to adapt and get along. We should not try to force others to change how they interact with everyone else, in order to accommodate our particular, special-needs child (or our particular special-needs, grown up, adult self, for that that matter).

If you're at all interested, you might find this article on "Concept Creep" (http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/04/concept-creep/477939/) interesting. At least from a philosophical perspective.

 

[MariMama]

I thought what Magpie wrote was very nice, and it seemed to be written with the idea of helping other parents who might be struggling by providing an example of how she dealt with miscommunications and not with the intent of seeming better than anyone else. I don't think it was a personal attack on you or judgement about how other parents handle their children. I think anyone who has kids or who has worked with/around kids can appreciate that what works for one does not always work for another, and that's ok! What Magpie did was right...for her kids. What you do is also right...for your kid(s).

Stick around for a bit.

 

[Magpie]

Stick around for a bit.

I do get sarcastic sometimes, but what littledebbie335 wrote was actually what I intended.

 

[Oswin]

Was the joke in bad taste? It was a dumb joke, but not really. It's basically the same as the nonstop "which twin do you like better?" jokes my parents were asked my entire life with me and my brother with us both right there.

Was it appropriate for his audience (your family)? Definitely not, but he unfortunately had no way of knowing that since I'm betting he probably asks that question to multiple families per day. He won't know not to make comments that could be considered anxiety inducing to some children unless a parent informs him that his question comes across as a little thoughtless and upsetting.

 

[ArwenMarie]

I think the security guards should focus on security, while being polite using such greetings as Good Morning and Thank You. Easy.

 

[AFwifelife]

Sounds like a joke that didn't work as he intended. I feel like too many people think the bag checkers at the front are just mall cops. Just because they aren't checking every nook and cranny of each bag doesn't mean they aren't doing their job in a different way by looking at behavior and mannerisms.

 

[Mike&AllisMom]

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[Angel Ariel]

However, I really can't support any campaign to prevent security guards from joking with young children (thinking in particular of suggestions in this thread to "report" the guard).

I don't think most people are saying that joking with children in general is wrong, but that this *particular* joke is inappropriate. I would never go up to some random kid on the street and ask them which parent they loved more. And that's what this is..an unknown adult approaching a child asking them which parent they love more. It is one thing to make that joke amongst family or close friends. It just isn't appropriate coming from a complete stranger.

 

[wdw4rfam]

To all of you who said it wouldn't bother you - if it upset your child it would. What if the child asked had autism? You can't tell by looking at a child that they might have a difficult time with a question like that. Now if you ask my teenagers, they would love answering this Not really an appropriate question for a young child in a stroller though.

My child has autism, and NO filter. I also know that he absolutely would say he loves dad more. It's ok, I get it. Dad is the good guy, I am the bad guy- and his teacher (I homeschool), I drag him o all his therapies, and home with him 24/7. Dad gets the fun stuff. I honestly would think that an answer from little kids would deserve a laugh. If my 19 YO said either one of us were her favorite, I would be hurt.

 

[Mike&AllisMom]

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[Magpie]

I don't think most people are saying that joking with children in general is wrong, but that this *particular* joke is inappropriate. I would never go up to some random kid on the street and ask them which parent they loved more. And that's what this is..an unknown adult approaching a child asking them which parent they love more. It is one thing to make that joke amongst family or close friends. It just isn't appropriate coming from a complete stranger.

I think it's pretty clear, however, that people are fairly split on whether this joke is appropriate, or not. Clearly, the guard thought it was. Other folks in this thread think it's fine, too. Some don't. I'm not sure this is one of those situations where we can all say with confidence that one should never say to a child, "Which parent do you love most?"

Certainly it's not a question likely to ruin anyone's vacation. (Barring hypothetical scenarios wherein little Jimmy is so disturbed by this Disney remake of Sophie's Choice that he spends the rest of the vacation in bed, weeping.)

Which is why, whether you think it's an appropriate question or not, it's probably best to just say to the child, "Don't worry about it, darling, the guard was just joking!"

That said, we regularly refer to our daughter as "our favourite daughter" and our son as "our favourite son" to the predictable protests of "But you only have one daughter, or son!" So, I may be biased with regards to the inherent humour of the situation.

Can't even promise I wouldn't have asked a child the same thing, if I was a Disney security guard. It'd be fun to hear the answers!

 

[TravelandLeisure]

Gosh people are way too touchy these days...

 

[wdw4rfam]

It's nice to hear from someone that has a child with autism I know when my son was young this would have really given him some trouble with his anxiety. My kids are 12 & 14 so I can guess which days I am not their favorite!

Mine with autism is 14, but is very immature developmentally. I just had to laugh at your post because I knew if someone asked him he'd happily throw me under the bus.(no anxiety at all-pretty sure he'd be laughing hysterically ). It is pretty crazy how different they all are with the same diagnosis huh?

 

[Mike&AllisMom]

Gosh people are way too touchy these days...

I will admit to this upon occasion. Not my best quality! This is not sarcasm, it's hard to tell in writing.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Which is why, whether you think it's an appropriate question or not, it's probably best to just say to the child, "Don't worry about it, darling, the guard was just joking!"

And this goes back to the fact that some children are able to understand a parent when they respond as you describe, and others are not. Having a child that does not understand the repsonse you describe does not equal poor parenting.

When it's debatable as to whether or not something is appropriate, as clearly this is as it is being debated , then IMO Disney should air on the side of caution.

 

[Mike&AllisMom]

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