Ex spouse trumped my vacation to WDW with the kids

[carone0318]

At AKL I believe that they have the night vision goggles that you can get for when it's dark out and you can go watch the animals still - I believe these are free too.

Your ex is trying to get a reaction from you, you know this.... When the kids come home you need to have the biggest smile on your face and ask how the trip was to the ex? Be like, I can't believe that the kids are going to be in Disney so many days in such a short period of time!!! Almost jokingly, you should be like, between the 2 of us we will be able to cover everything with them. I know this will almost kill you, but think about how it will burn him up inside to not get the reaction he wants!!! That's power baby!

 

[disneydreamkate]

Can anyone comment more on pin trading events in DTD? We have never taken the time to stop and do that although they are OBSESSED with it.

And what about the activities in the community center of AKV? My kids have always loved going in there and something I had forgotten. Is there bike riding at AKV? Any other special AKV tips or secrets that are must dos?

What about the lego store? Are there ever any events there?

I am very sorry that your ex has tried to sabotage your vacation with your children! They probably feel absolutely terrible about it. My advice is to smile and give them lots of extra hugs when they get home. The best thing you can do is put on your happy face and stay excited about your upcoming trip together. I understandll a too well spiteful exes!


AKL (which is only a very short bus ride away!) has lots of fun activities for the kids...they can earn an African bead for different activities if they complete them there. You can earn up to five different beads...which make a very nice bracelet! There will be a sheet you can pick up at Jambo house to tell you the times and places of each activity. You could plan to do one a day..or more if you plan a resort day. They also have cookie decorating, face painting, and other activities at Jambo House. i have never been to Kidani, so not sure what they have there!

Good luck, and have a magical vacation with your children.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

he would be catching some he&%*&%&%*ll for taking my kids out of the state without my permission. I don't think he would be able to do this without your consent. I say go on your trip and have a great time. Dont worry, karma is going bite him back.

Actually, I highly doubt there is anything in their divorce decree that bars the father from taking the children out of state during visitation. Out of the country - probably, but not out of state.

At AKL I believe that they have the night vision goggles that you can get for when it's dark out and you can go watch the animals still - I believe these are free too.

Your ex is trying to get a reaction from you, you know this.... When the kids come home you need to have the biggest smile on your face and ask how the trip was to the ex? Be like, I can't believe that the kids are going to be in Disney so many days in such a short period of time!!! Almost jokingly, you should be like, between the 2 of us we will be able to cover everything with them. I know this will almost kill you, but think about how it will burn him up inside to not get the reaction he wants!!! That's power baby!

They sure do. Those are SO much fun.

And I agree with the reply - DO NOT LET HIM KNOW it got to you or hurt you. That was obviously his intent and if he knows he hurt you then he wins. If you are up for the cheerful chatter then ask him if he wants to go in on a Photopass share! That will surely throw him for a loop.

OP - good luck. Try to enjoy your trip with your kids without constantly comparing it to the one they just took.

 

[llb]

Its not just what you do
its who you do it with


I would go, and go happily. Seems odd that he didn't invite them to the wedding but took them on a secret vacation/honeymoon with a new bride?
Your upcoming trip was planned with the childrens involement, which means they probably feel as though that trip is more thier trip. The trip with the father, not so much. Kids aren't stupid. Children should never been used as a vehicle to vendetta. I'd say "hope you guys had a good time, now lets go on vacation!" enjoy, enjoy!!!!

 

[lustergirl]

Actually, I highly doubt there is anything in their divorce decree that bars the father from taking the children out of state during visitation. Out of the country - probably, but not out of state.


Must be different in NYS then.

 

[bizeemom4]

I'd be sorely tempted to let it slip several months down the line, that I planned on taking them on Disney cruise to xyz destination. Plan yours at another destination then what slips, and if he does the double thing again. You know what? Major win for the kids! And it's sticking it to him.

That's genius! I wouldn't stop there. I'd also casually let it slip that you plan to get them X really expensive toy for Christmas and Y pricy shoes for school. He'll kill himself trying to outdo you and it won't cost you anything.

 

[skygirltkw]

I'm not a Disney veteran, I have only been once, but having gone through a two year divorce myself, and then after scrimped and saved and rolled pennies for my and my DDs trip, I wanted to comment.

First, I am so sorry he did that. Second, you must must must still go!! A little Disney magic is exactly what YOU need. Third, the kids will love it, and will find plenty to do, myself, I could live there so two trips in one summer would be awesome.

Sounds like YOU deserve a nice vacation, so to heck with the ex, you are obviously better off without.

Take advantage of Photopass and get lots of pictures with you and your kids... Go!

*hugs*

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Actually, I highly doubt there is anything in their divorce decree that bars the father from taking the children out of state during visitation. Out of the country - probably, but not out of state.


Must be different in NYS then.

As long as there is unsupervised visitation in the agreement and unless the court has reason to believe that the non-custodial parent will flee with the children then there is really no reason to bar them from taking their children out of state during their visitation. Some states will restrict by age (DH's states he couldn't take his children out of state until they were 5).

I agree that the NCP should be able to take their children on vacation BUT in the OP's situation it looks like her ex did this out of spite. Looks like a long road ahead of the children being used as pawns by the father.

 

[1971DBday]

My DH is from a divorced family and his Dad sounds similar to your EX. I don't know if this will bring you an comfort, but kids remember these kinds of things and as an adult they will be in the back of their minds. Once an A$$ always and A$$.....my DHs Dad still screws his own children over to this day.

However, as to your questions....GO, GO, GO! As previous posters have stated "Make Your Own Memories"! Don't compare your trip to his, the kids will decide on their own. Relax, be a kid with your kids, and enjoy. Besides...how much fun could have been with all the attention he needed to give to the new wife.

I'm sure the kids will LOVE that their Mom has all of her attention for just them!!!!

 

[bookmama]

Please, please go. Don't give him that kind of power over you or the kids. He is expecting you to react badly. Like Kirk Franklin's song. Smile. Do it.

Go on your trip with your kids, you and they will love it. It is special to you and to them

 

[Mylo123]

I am currently going through a divorce myself and planning on spending our first "dad" free vacation to the World in August. Like you, my daughter, son and I have very carefully been planning everything we want to do. I read your post to my daughter. She was sad to read about your pain. She said that if her dad were to suddenly decide to take them to Disney, they would have fun, but in a different way. They know that half the fun of a Disney vacation is in the preparation and planning. Disney is a place where we spent many vacations together as a family and had some great memories. We now are making new memories and the dynamics will be different. I am truly looking forward to this trip together - the stress of the divorce and changes have taken it's toll and we need to laugh and enjoy life for a while. No better place on earth than Disney. Go, enjoy, take TONS of pictures, and do all the things you planned on doing.

A good friend of mine reminds me all the time - remember to breathe.

 

[Sandy321]

Heather - I'm not good at reading between the lines- your post about the twists and turns you've gone through by leaving him, and that life he "controlled" makes me admire you so very much...

Your kids are 10 and 12? Best time ever!! Do what you know in your heart is right - listen to your kids, take Your - no its not YOUR trip - its their trip - they helped plan, and save -

totally sucks sometimes lol but then I look at them; and even when everyone says "one day they'll know" "one day they'll see", if I really love my kids I really wouldn't ever want that day to come would I?

And that speaks VOLUMES on who you are

Can anyone comment more on pin trading events in DTD? We have never taken the time to stop and do that although they are OBSESSED with it.

And what about the activities in the community center of AKV? My kids have always loved going in there and something I had forgotten. Is there bike riding at AKV? Any other special AKV tips or secrets that are must dos?

What about the lego store? Are there ever any events there?

Pin trading at DTD for dd was kind of a dud - she went into the big store - had to pick a card for her turn - and then wait and wait for her turn, watched all the pins in the BIG book -

I also read on the DIS that the green lanyards are for kids 3 -12, but one mom was horribly upset that her child at age 11 was denied by a CM thinking the child was older than 11? So just be aware - and if there ever is a problem, ask to speak to a manager...

My DD went to the store at the resort looked at the pins, decided which ones she wanted (stitch) then she spent time searching lanyards on CM's for that pin - and found it!

Hidden Mickey - I'll tell you we stumbled on one at MK near the Teacups - on the sidewalk in a shadow - MICKEY!! a hidden Mickey!

I'm sure there is a place online where you can get them - on the Great Movie Ride, ask to sit near the CM - that CM will talk to your kids and point out the several hidden mickeys on the ride!! and every year we go back, dd remembers THAT!!

Yes, you will go, and you will find the magic, and your kids will be so proud that you took the high road, you chose to do DIsney WITH them, not because of any other reason!

 

[Rachael1004]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems more like the OP is more upset that her Ex stole the experience of seeing all of her kids' anticipation fulfilled. She and they had spent a long time working and planning for the experience, and he swooped in and snatched it out from under her. I don't know him, but it seems like it was a pretty vindictive and petty thing to do. My dad was like that, and I always knew he was a jerk, and apparently your kiddos have already figured that out, too. It would be a whole different conversation if the planning was an accident and he didn't know if/when they were planning to go, but in this case it seems like it was a well orchestrated jab. I hate it when parents use the kids as pawns to get at each other. Trust me, from experience, be the bigger person and better parent and don't stoop to that level.

That said, perhaps treat their previous trip as a "fact-finding mission" for THEIR trip to the World. Afterall, that's what the second trip is: THEIRS. THEY worked with you to EARN it. I would stress that one. It is so much more special because they and you got there for yourselves.

Tons of people have said to ask what they liked, if they wanted to change plans, etc. I would still do that, but I would also look around for a few other secrets/surprises. There's an active thread up right now about Push the Talking Trash Can in Tomorrowland. Have you ever seen him? I don't know if people are allowed to ride in the front of the monorail anymore, but that's an idea. Maybe search for Hidden Mickeys? You might even snag a CM when you check in, or better, ask one of the custodians (they know everything!) or someone in Town Hall at MK when DS and DD are out of ear shot and ask if there's anything similarly magical that shouldn't be missed. I'm not saying go into detail with everyone in the World, and DEFINITELY don't let the kids hear you. Just say it's been a tough year, you've worked hard to get there, and you'd like to surprise them with something they've never seen or that most people overlook. Maybe DD would like to pick a pearl at DTD or Epcot to make a keepsake of the first vacation as a smaller family unit? Another thing you could do is take TONS of pictures and let them help you start a scrap book of your new adventures. It'll make the pixie dust go that much further when you get home and start a new tradition.

It kills me how much people think they can buy affection from their kids, but trust me, there is a difference between bribery and teaching them life lessons and rewarding hard work. They will understand the difference one day and be better adults for it. Have fun, and ENJOY your trip. One-upping the Ex is NOT the goal, and if you spend the whole time thinking about it, he will have successfully spoiled your trip. Besides, it may help them adjust to their new situation by looking at it as one benefit to having two families: TWO Disney trips!

 

[Rachael1004]

P.S.

It may sound corny, but you may even bring up the Fantasyland remodel to help them understand the upheaval in their lives. Even magical places like Disney have to tear some things down every once in a while. Rebuilding takes time, but something better always replaces what was lost! Good luck! You can make it

 

[Disneybound!!]

Heather, I hope you and your kids still go on your planned trip to Disney. Your trip is still going to be special because of all the work and effort that all of you have put into it, and because you will be together. The trip with their Dad will be fun, I'm sure, but still different than what you guys will do together. Don't let this stop you from going and having a wonderful time! Please don't feel bad! I hope you can really enjoy the very special time with your kids in a very special place! Don't start comparing what you can offer your kids with what their Dad can. What you can give them is very different and just as important as what he can. I hope you have an awesome trip! BTW, you sound like a really wonderful person, and I wish you all the best. So sorry you've been through so much! Saying a prayer for you!

 

[dntd]

I would still go. The kids seemed torn up that they ended up at Disney with their dad. Their trip with their mom, long planned and anticipated will feel much better just like when kids save money for a toy rather then given it. Have fun, no need to go command. Buy the biggest cupcake Disney has to offer and celebrate your new family.

 

[Aliceacc]

I haven't read any of the past 11 pages other than the first post.

But is there any way you can get a good last minute deal on a Disney Cruise instead?? Or on DisneyLAND???

 

[lilwhiterabbit]

I haven't read through the whole thread, because it's huge, so I apologize if I missed something.

Go. Have a good time. Don't worry about your ex. He's not worth wasting energy on. Make wonderful memories with your children and celebrate being with them. You and your kids have planned for this trip for a long time. Don't let his negativity take that away from you. You're going to have a great time.

 

[humboldthny]

Ok - I didn't read any of the other responses, but this is what I think:

Go. Go with your kids. Have the vacation that all of you planned together. That's the trip they were looking forward to and were excited about, that's the trip they will remember with untainted joy. You ex essentially shot himself in the foot by taking them first - my guess is that the kids probably are not enjoying it much because he is making them feel obligated to enjoy themselves when they really feel like they are betraying you.

I don't think you need to compete, or do anything 'special' - go and enjoy yourselves and have the family vacation that all of you want. That will be the trip they remember and cherish.

((HUGS)) I'm sorry your ex is such a giant douche.

 

[Kat&Dom]

Heather - go ahead as planned with your trip. It doesn't matter that they just did a trip with their dad. If he is anything like my ex-husband, the trip will be all about him not the kids.

You have been planning with your kids so don't let him spoil your joy. I think it is important for you "emotionally" to continue with this trip with your kids. You and your ex-husband are different people and the vacation (although to the same place) will be a completely different experience for your children because of how each of you do things.

Don't waste any energy thinking about him taking them because he wants you to be upset - don't let him get to you - be happy and excited for your kids and text your daughter and tell her to have fun and to take notes on what she and your son think the 3 of you should do when you go. Think of how totally cool it is for your children to have 3 weeks of their summer vacation at Disney - that is awesome!