Ex spouse trumped my vacation to WDW with the kids

[RandFamily]

My heart goes out to you....

Please let us know how you make out with your trip!!!

 

[Goofy_Girl]

I have a spiteful ex so I understand your pain From the reaction your daughter had with crying and texting she was sorry I get the feeling that she won't be enjoying herself to the fullest and that she feels guilty. So my suggestion is to carry on with your own trip. I have a feeling your children will enjoy this trip even more since they won't have feelings of guilt. I think cancelling would result in making them feel even more guilty. Even though none of this is their fault children tend to blame themselves when ex's pull stunts like this. Makes me angry that he never even thought about how this would affect them. My ex is the same way
So go to Disney and have a blast, I think it will make you and the kids feel a whole lot better. Besides no two trips to Disney ever happen the same, that's the magic of Disney and why we all keep going back

 

[Sandy321]

Heather, OP, has posted quite a few times in this thread - she is renting points from DVC, and she is doing fine, rethinking, but venting here!

go Heather

I haven't read through the whole thread, because it's huge, so I apologize if I missed something.

Go. Have a good time. Don't worry about your ex. He's not worth wasting energy on. Make wonderful memories with your children and celebrate being with them. You and your kids have planned for this trip for a long time. Don't let his negativity take that away from you. You're going to have a great time.

I haven't read any of the past 11 pages other than the first post.

But is there any way you can get a good last minute deal on a Disney Cruise instead?? Or on DisneyLAND???

(nice idea, but, nope,)

HINT Before you open the thread - if you see the number of "posts" click - it will bring up a list of people and how many times they post - if you click NEXT TO OP name (ie # of her posts next to her name, its a number that is underlined CLICK ) - it will bring up all her posts... so you can just read her posts

 

[Aliceacc]

.

 

[Sandy321]

Heather I've been reading the DVC board trip reports:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2748685

My DH and I just returned yesterday from a trip just the two of us to celebrate our anniversary. We stayed 5 nights at Kidani in a standard-view studio. We had an awesome room location - on the second floor just 3 rooms from the Rafiki elevator. We had a car, so it was awesome to just ride down the elevator to our car.

We did many of the activities at the resort that we hadn't done before, including:
The Africa presentation - one of the cast members from Africa does a presentation from their home country nightly in the Kidani library. Our presentation was done by Mutitti (Fortune) from Zimbabwe. He was very knowledgeable and it was quite interesting - a true highlight of this trip.
Arts & crafts at Jambo House - my DH and I painted a ceramic cereal bowl for one daughter and made an African-themed necklace from beads for the other. It was fun and they loved the unique gifts!
Movie night at the Kidani pool. Each night at dark they show a movie at the pool.
Talk to the animal experts at the savannas. They know so much about the animals and we got the best photos from going down by the fire pit (first floor, near Saana).

Also one night, just for fun, we bought a small container of vanilla ice cream from the store off the lobby and got root beer in our refillable mugs and had root beer floats.

I have to say that when we went to Animal Kingdom, we went to listen to the lady that did the "school" presentation, she had maps, etc, and told all about her hometown - dd was in 6th grade and really enjoyed that...

and for a great read
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2698055

She took a trip to Disney with her two boys - I thought of this post in particular for your trip!

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=40762664&postcount=44

we've never done this as DD doesnt like roller coasters - but I do know my boys loved doing this at DisneyQuest when it was in Chicago...

(Its packed FULL of pictures - at SSR resort, but they went to DDT! and well, lots and lots of pictures!) So read this trip report - and maybe share it with your kids to get excited?? You'll be a better judge when they get home and you get all your hugs and give all your hugs...

de-stress

re-plan!!

 

[DaisyFoote]

Sorry Heather - I'm praying for you.

 

[larryz]

I just dont even know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Is my trip too tainted even to continue? Will my children be so exhuasted from this trip that they will not be able to enjoy our trip. Will it be a "been there done that" trip OR after 12 visits in their life, can momma offer them something totally different than dad and how do I pull it together in the next two weeks? Hardcore Disney fans, please step up.

An alternate title to this thread could be "My Beautiful Kids get Two Trips to WDW This Summer!"

React to it that way, and you'll answer all your own questions.

 

[tlh0726]

Didn't read all the posts.

My biggest question/concern is how can your ex take your kids away for 10 days out of state without your consent? Or even you knowing where they were going?

 

[hmerritt]

P.S.

It may sound corny, but you may even bring up the Fantasyland remodel to help them understand the upheaval in their lives. Even magical places like Disney have to tear some things down every once in a while. Rebuilding takes time, but something better always replaces what was lost! Good luck! You can make it

love that. thank you.

 

[HeidiGW]

First of all, I'm sorry that your marriage ended. Secondly, congratulations on getting rid of that A$$! I know it has been a long and exhausting experience for you and your children. You absolutely need and deserve this vacation!!!! I, too, would be heartbroken.

Now, my children could move in to WDW and be thrilled. So, you can't make the wrong decision to go or not to go to WDW. Go and there will be plenty to do and it WILL BE DIFFERENT because it is WITH YOU!

But, if you do decide to reschedule for Halloween or Christmas...more planning , more fun, right?...go and do some sort of cheapo vacation anyway. Maybe camping at Ft. DeSoto...just don't punish yourself by staying home!

Now, text the kids and give them permission to have fun...they probably need it the sweet children they surely are...AND tell them to bring you home a few Mickey treats on that ******'s dime.

 

[bababear_50]

Hi Sweetie,,
my mom used to remind me to
Take a deep breathe and remember
"Any woman can be a mother but it takes someone special like yourself to be a MOM".

The heart ache will fade and you will have some BEAUTIFUL memories to share with your kids. AKL is just the place to start fresh. saying a little prayer for you tonight.
BIG HUGS
Mel
here's a little door sign for you and the kids
just click on the thumbnail image for the full size



Uploaded with ImageShack.us

 

[hmerritt]

Didn't read all the posts.

My biggest question/concern is how can your ex take your kids away for 10 days out of state without your consent? Or even you knowing where they were going?

That legality is what I am currently trying to figure out.The only travel addressed in our decree is out of country travel. But from what I understand something about crossing state lines, and I having no idea where they were and then texting me that he was turning off their phone until they returned might possibly constitute kidnapping. Especially since the decree is very clear about telephone access. He enjoys tormenting me and controlling me.And despite that I have always told him where they were when we travelled (to my detriment obviously) he's just hateful and spiteful and wants me to worry and panic. We will never agree on anything because he makes decisions based on his rights, what's his, what conveniences him and benefits him. While I will always (whether I have liked it or not) truly made decisions took into consideration what Sydney and Alex wanted or needed. This visitation is a perfect example. He should not have two consecutive weeks, but my kids wanted to feel like they had more down time and the back and forth made them feel on the go all the time, so I let him have 2 consecutive weeks. I am being put in a position to follow the court order to the t. nothing more and nothing less and it sucks.

 

[DizFan13]

There are already so many wonderful posts and wishes here for you, but I just wanted to add a big and say that you should go and remember that the memories of your trip with your kids will be magical and unique in their own right! The best point that has been made is that you now have the opportunity to use the experience that your kids have as a jumping-off point by letting them decide what will be fun to do all over again. I am sure they will be excited to use their recent trip to "show Mom" their favorite things.

 

[mrsksomeday]

Your story really touched me. My parents divorced when I was nine. Before the divorce my Mom was a stay at home mom, she had to get a job, a car, we did get the house, but money was extremely tight. Dad was supposed to pay child support and didn't.

One thing I always remember from that time period in my life was my Mom was my best friend and was always there for me. I can remember her rolling pennies so I could go to basketball games or the movies with my friends. She always made sure I wasn't missing out because of the situation. You remind me of my Mom, loving, caring, compassionate.

Please take the kids to WDW. You showed them how to save for a trip, how to work together toward a common goal. They know how much you love them. Go there and let everything with the divorce go.

You are building new memories in the most magical place in the world, it will be ok .

 

[JUJU814]

That legality is what I am currently trying to figure out.The only travel addressed in our decree is out of country travel. But from what I understand something about crossing state lines, and I having no idea where they were and then texting me that he was turning off their phone until they returned might possibly constitute kidnapping. Especially since the decree is very clear about telephone access. He enjoys tormenting me and controlling me.And despite that I have always told him where they were when we travelled (to my detriment obviously) he's just hateful and spiteful and wants me to worry and panic. We will never agree on anything because he makes decisions based on his rights, what's his, what conveniences him and benefits him. While I will always (whether I have liked it or not) truly made decisions took into consideration what Sydney and Alex wanted or needed. This visitation is a perfect example. He should not have two consecutive weeks, but my kids wanted to feel like they had more down time and the back and forth made them feel on the go all the time, so I let him have 2 consecutive weeks. I am being put in a position to follow the court order to the t. nothing more and nothing less and it sucks.

Hey..I've been thinking about this all evening! Please do NOT get into the legality/kidnapping thing with him because if he's as much as a spiteful jerk as he sounds like, it'll give HIM ideas to destroy your trip because you also have to take the kids over state lines. If he gets the idea that he can try to stop your trip, he very well may try to do that just to make matters worse so I would advise you NOT to try to say/do anything about this or it could come back to bite you. It's too late now if they're already there.

He should have let you know where they'd be...that's just WRONG.

So sorry for all the stress you're under. Focus on your upcoming trip and know that you WILL get through all this.

 

[KellyNY]

i am so sorry to hear your story, so horrible, how dare he to do this. do not give up, go on your trip. your kids will not be tired and i am sure they will enjoy spending special disney time with you, the point is they will want to share excitement with their mom esp. that they know how special this trip is. i would also check if he has any rights to take them out of state like that. he has no rights to walk over you like that, fight.

 

[excited4dis]

Heather, I am so sorry you are going through this. I feel your pain because I am basically going through the same things.

My ex is spiteful, vindictive, childish, mean, etc. (this list could just go on )

Right now my ex has the kids for vacation. I have no idea where they are as he won't answer his phone or his texts so I can talk to them.

The thought has gone through my head that he has taken them to Disney just to be mean since he knows we are going there next month. Like you, I had to pinch and save for a long time to get them there. It is something I always wanted to do with them and he knows it. We never went on a family vacation with the kids (DS10 and DS7) when we were married, and I have never been able to afford to take them anywhere besides visiting family.

He on the other hand has taken them on countless vacations with his girlfriend (who is the one he cheated on me with) since he left 5 years ago. It hurts, but I always try to be the bigger person and don't show my annoyance about it to the kids.

Sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your feelings.

I agree with the other posters. Go on your vacation and enjoy it with your kids. Find a way to make it special for you and your kids.

Best of luck to you and have fun no matter what!

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

Wow! I think you got the best end of the deal in the divorce. You will be a much stronger person than you ever thought you were. Divorce stinks, no matter what side you are on. I hope you and your kids will be ok, but I am certain you will be, you sound like a wonderful mom!!!!

Next, you should go on and take your trip with your kids. You all planned it together, and it will mean a lot to them when it is all said and done. One day they will look back and remember how much you all sacrificed to get there, and they will appreciate it.

Don't let your ex dampen your spirits, or your trip that you've planned for.

 

[aceys_h0ney]

An alternate title to this thread could be "My Beautiful Kids get Two Trips to WDW This Summer!"

React to it that way, and you'll answer all your own questions.

This is my gut reaction. However I've been where you are to an extent. My ex since our divorce has shown he's a shoddy parent at best but he used to try to compete with everything my husband and I did. I used to get upset until I came to the realization that my kids had twice the fun if he took them somewhere to compete with me. In the end my kids have fun with both of us and I don't ever want them to feel like something their dad does with them isn't special if I'm going to do it with them also. I also don't want them to feel like they have to talk down fun they had with Dad to make me feel better. This took awhile though, now I just try to let stuff roll off my shoulders.

I say go and have a wonderful time. You need this trip and your kids are so lucky to have two great vacations this summer even if it's the same place the people are what makes a vacation memorable. Your ex sounds like an *** a very inconsiderate one at that, you know that and I'm assuming that's why you are divorced. Your kids will see him for who he is in their own time.

 

[JennyMP03]

Unbelievably petty and cruel after how hard you've worked. I feel for you, Heather, and I hope you and your children still enjoy your vacation together. Just remember, there is no relationship like the one you have with your Mama-- I'm certain they will be thrilled to be there with YOU, having your wonderful love and attention all to themselves!