Embarrassing comment!!

[CapJack]

Yes, maybe autism is the hot diagnosis right now as ADD was years back, but all that means is there are more children being misdiagnosed. It doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. It's a very real problem that many children suffer. Be thankful that it's not something you have to go through, but given you're outlook I'm thankful too. It doesn't seem like something you could handle. BTW, if you have to start out saying I'm probably gunna get flamed for this, that's your conscience telling you that what you're about to say is extremely inappropriate. Next time listen.

If you would bother to read I said in a later post these things DO exist. I do not like to see ANY child suffer. I can handle anything BTW. I have a SN brother & we did not coddle him like I see a lot of these so-called SN kids & he is a productive member of society today because of it. I shudder to think how he would have turned out if we had. Thank you for agreeing though that there is a lot of misdiagnosis. I do not mean to come off as some ogre but I knew I would be flamed not because what I said is inappropriate it is because of all these parents who lack the willpower to be a parent looking for an excuse. I do not mean kids with actual problems just those kids who do not behave and need a little guidance. It is all about selfishness these days. Instead of dealing with the problem find an excuse to fit. I guess all those kids having meltdowns in the park fall into the spectrum it is not that the parents are pushing the kids too hard on vacation???? Something to think about. P.S. noone is "perfect"

 

[Hannathy]

Sorry, but I agree with him. As a parent of a child with SN I am sickened by the number of parents who say oh my son has ADHD he can't behave, oh my child has this or that as they are ripping down the department store shelf. I often look at them and say really my child does too. Yet he is unmedicated and he is standing perfected still next to me. Parent's use this as an excuses for why their child misbehaves OR if their child really does have SN they are too selfish to give 110% putting their child first to address their needs. I agree with the CaptJack's statement: My children are well behaved want to know why? We spend time with them, show them affection and when the rare occassion they misbehave we expalin it is unacceptable & what the consequences are. The kids understand this and respond. My son does too. I am invested in him and he responds accordingly. My son knows what a consequence is and they he will lose priveledges. There is a great book parent's of any child should read special needs or not it is called 1,2,3 Magic. I have been using this book with my child since age 3 and it works wonders for us!

Thank You, this is very well said. I think A lot of parents need to read this and quit making excuses. I took my first college courses in Special Ed as it used to be called in the late 70's and the excuses for the children that are used now would never have flown then. The parents who busted their butts to get education for their children then never wanted special treatment or to let their kids get away with the antics that are tolerated now.

 

[NeverBeen2DW]

Thank You, this is very well said. I think A lot of parents need to read this and quit making excuses. I took my first college courses in Special Ed as it used to be called in the late 70's and the excuses for the children that are used now would never have flown then. The parents who busted their butts to get education for their children then never wanted special treatment or to let their kids get away with the antics that are tolerated now.

Thanks!

I must also add that I know many parents also are not given the tools to succeed and they do not know help exist..... BUT you need to seek it out and also to educate yourself! Be proactive and an advocate for your child (read books, internet, ask questions!) and get assistance for your child via an IEP at school. FYI you can also start the IEP process before they even enter school. My son has his at 2 1/2 and was enrolled at his local elementary though he did not attend the school, he went only for special services. OR via OT, PT, Speech, child psychologist etc which you can get from the state even if you do not have insurance you have nobody to blame but yourself. The williningness to learn and to ask for help will open many doors for SN parents. Unfortunately, you also have to be selfless and put them first. I am not saying you can never think of yourself but you must really prioritize. My son did not ask to be brought into this world so with that said he is my #1 priority as is his well being. Not giving him the tools in life to succeed in life - and yes this includes the tools to be a passenger on an airplane and not cause chaos - would be in injustice to him.

I do not mean to take this topic off course more than it is from the OP's original question ..... it seems to have taken a path of its own.... BUT this is something everyone can learn from IMO and a worth while conversation to have!

 

[CapJack]

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Ignorance

Main Entry: ig·no·rance
Pronunciation: \ˈig-n(ə-)rən(t)s\
Function: noun
Date: 13th century
: the state or fact of being ignorant : lack of knowledge, education, or awareness

Exactly what am I ignorant of? PLEASE enlighten me all knowing wise one. Or are ALL parents responsible, selfless, patient, caring and an overall positive force in their children's lives.

 

[simba20]

Okay, picture this. Late Spring 2007. I am in Wal-Mart, standing in a long check out line waiting to pay for my stuff. In front of me is a family with three boys. Three boys who were pulling stuff off the shelves ("Hey mom, I want some gum. Can I have this...? etc, etc...), running around bumping into people, screaming at each other, playing some kind of tag with each other.

Anyway, I was tired and grumpy myself and physically miserable (you'll understand why as you read further). The boys had bumped into me for the 137th time, and while I was polite telling them to be careful, watch out, etc.....I reached my boiling point.

In my hand I had a kitchen trash can and some curtain rods and I just dropped everything to the ground with a loud clatter and told my husband "LETS GO!" Heads turn, my husband asks me what's wrong and I make the comment loud enough for the parents to hear "Just because some people choose to procreate, doesn't mean it has to affect me."

Then, if you were there, you'd see me turn around and...................

WADDLE away............

yes I was 8.5 months pregnant with my daughter at the time -- with the belly all the way out to ------->

Needless to say I was laughing as I walked, erm, waddled away.

But yes, if my child is causing a scene ANYWHERE we leave BEFORE it becomes bothersome (now an airplane there's not an option to leave, but I do something with my child at least).

Ok, have to get this off my chest...funny/horrifying/embarrassing plane incident...

Me and my sister flying back from Orlando....dead tired. Child crying....still crying....crying. My eyes are closed, and I groaned to my sister, "Ahhhh, why can't parents keep their kids quiet?"

BEFORE I get flamed...I was really, really tired and grumpy. And I KNOW it's hard, but I was just too tired to be understanding that morning!

My sister goes, "Well, not everyone has an arsenal or Cheerios and books all the time like you do".

That shocked me awake, "" (my sister is childless, and is FAR less sympathetic to a parent's plight than I am, I thot for sure she'd be on my side this time, since it's usually me explaining to HER about the trials of parenthood, but again, this time I was grumpy.

The guy next to her goes, "Sometimes it's not always that easy". It was HIS kid across the aisle, who was sitting with an older child and his wife!

I wanted to die. I mean, honestly, normally I am NOT that grumpy person. I said I was sorry, I didn't realize the child was so young, and left it at that.

However, my sister and I noticed that the child was in his car seat, left to basically entertain himself. The mom had headphones on, listening to her MP3 player, and the Dad (who was sitting with us) was on his laptop playing games....and the child is screaming as soon as we buckled in and being ignored....Um, is it weird to wonder why no one had the little baggie of Cherrios, some little books, few new dollar-store toys for the 4 hour flight?

Lord, I remember feeling embarrassed when I was trying to sing (in a low voice) to my toddler to keep her entertained for our last trip. (I hate singing in front of people, it's just not good). And yes, I DID have the baggie of snacks, books, etc. But just wondering if it's so bad to not wonder why they didn't even TRY to make the child less miserable? If he's being ignored by both parents, of course he's going to be upset....should we all have to pay the price for the crying when they don't even make a half-a$$ effort?

I left feeling bad for my comment, then not so much after I saw they were doing nothing, then felt bad for not feeling bad...then not bad...

Has anyone else experienced less-than-clued-in parents who get mad at you for wondering why we get annoyed at them?

I mean, I'm not saying I'm Mom-of-The-Year, but where's the common sense?
Toddler + 4 hours on plane = contingency plans!

 

[Pixie Princess]

Okay, picture this. Late Spring 2007. I am in Wal-Mart, standing in a long check out line waiting to pay for my stuff. In front of me is a family with three boys. Three boys who were pulling stuff off the shelves ("Hey mom, I want some gum. Can I have this...? etc, etc...), running around bumping into people, screaming at each other, playing some kind of tag with each other.

Anyway, I was tired and grumpy myself and physically miserable (you'll understand why as you read further). The boys had bumped into me for the 137th time, and while I was polite telling them to be careful, watch out, etc.....I reached my boiling point.

In my hand I had a kitchen trash can and some curtain rods and I just dropped everything to the ground with a loud clatter and told my husband "LETS GO!" Heads turn, my husband asks me what's wrong and I make the comment loud enough for the parents to hear "Just because some people choose to procreate, doesn't mean it has to affect me."

Then, if you were there, you'd see me turn around and...................

WADDLE away............

yes I was 8.5 months pregnant with my daughter at the time -- with the belly all the way out to ------->

Needless to say I was laughing as I walked, erm, waddled away.

But yes, if my child is causing a scene ANYWHERE we leave BEFORE it becomes bothersome (now an airplane there's not an option to leave, but I do something with my child at least).

What a funny, funny story!!!

Whew, I needed that laugh! Thank you for sharing. I was miserable at 8.5 mos. I'm sure I would have done the same thing, or would have had a crying meltdown right there in the checkout lane.

 

[aubriee]

BTW autism & ADHD are defined as developmental disorders not physical disorders. There is a great deal of disagreement in the medical community about both of these disorders. As far as advances in psycholgy how did that work out for Dr. Spock's son? These disorders are NOT based on any physical defect but based on an observation & information provided by the parents that are completely subjective.

Off topic a little, but just for the sake of accuracy, it was Dr Spock's grandson that had schizoprenia and jumped off a museum, killing himself, not his son. Both of his sons are still living. Also despite great advances in psychology many schizophrenics still commit suicide today.

 

[lilybrooke14]

Is it just me, or is the general consensus that this kid had special needs and not that his parents were just morons? When did it become a rule that we had to assume that every kid acting like a monster in public had a disorder of some kind or another and every parent of said child was doing his/her absolute best to provide for the needs of that child? There is a very real possibility that this kid was just being a kid, and the parents just didn't care.