DVC causes family problems?

[wheeler]

Granny's post yesterday about DVC indifference reminded me I've been meaning to ask you all this question: Has DVC caused any "disharmony" within your immediate family/relatives? For example, DH & I had quite the squabble the other day because he feels as though I "like Disney too much" and "it's not necessary to go more than once a year" and "there are improvements we should be making to the house instead" etc. etc. Anyone else have a spouse that doesn't "get it"? Also, what about relatives who appear jealous that you vacation so often? My older brother recently moved back into my parents house with his twin 5 year olds and two year old in tow (he's divorced and got custody). I went for 5 days around Christmas (1st DVC trip) I have a 9 day trip in April, and a 5 day trip in Oct, and since we all have AP's, all we're paying for is plane tickets & food. Well, when I made the mistake of mentioning the Oct. trip, he actually said, "Geez, why don't you let me take my kids! We could use a vacation ya' know!" I reminded him that I mentioned to him before that he was welcome to go there, if he was commited to specific dates and could plan & save for the airfare, tickets, meals & misc for all of them, and he says, "Yeah, well, it's not easy for SOME people to come up w/that kinda money ya know!" Sheesh! I offered to make all the arrangements and everything. Anyone else go through this? Please??????!!!!!!!!! (I'd hate to realize I was the only DVC-er w/a crabby spouse and jealous siblings!)

 

[HeatherPage]

My husband is pretty tolerating, especially since we made the deal that if I got to do DVC that I couldn't make a fuss when he wanted to make a big purchase in the future (as long as we could afford it). That day has finally come in the form of a $3,000 lifetime golf membership to the same golf course my dad belongs to. Hey as long as he's working the overtime and they're letting him pay in installments I told him go for it. The situation of you and your brother is frustrating I'm sure. While I'm sure you feel for your brother, you can't quit enjoying your life just because his isn't on the comfort level yours is on. If that were the case, nobody would be able to enjoy what they've earned. Maybe you can suggest that you'll start planning for a big trip say in a year or two that way he can have plenty of time to save and he and his children can all look forward to planning for the trip together. If your covering the place to stay that sounds fair enough. Or is he looking for an outright handout?

 

[RAMWDWFAN]

Wheeler, I know what you are going through. My DH has been to WDW once (in 1998) and has no plans to go again. He says he will not set foot in Florida again. Now this is just fine with me because I don't have to worry about him ruining my vacation with his sour looks. He also complains about my fascination with Disney, but I tell him we all have to have a hobby.

You only go aroung once in life and you have a right to be happy. With DVC I can afford to go to WDW at least two times per year, and once my DS is in college, I plan on going more often.

 

[SamSam]

Wheeler, I feel for you and I do understand what you're talking about. Although I know our family's are happy we've done well in life, there is also a certain amount of jealousy.
Since our kids are now grown, we take quite a few little 3 and 4 day trips (some to WDW, some other places) and we simply don't feel we need to tell everyone. We feel that we've worked very hard to get to where we're at and that we've made some choices that have made our lifestyle possible. It also is a priority to us to take trips and we have no problem cutting back in other areas to accomplish them
Try not to let other people dampen your enjoyment.

 

[Lyndarella]

My husband and kids only enjoy WDW marginally, where I am enthralled by every thing I see there. We had an opportunity to buy a timeshare near WDW for a very low price, which DH wanted to do, and I wanted to do DVC. As a compromise, we bought both! I plan trips, which DH won't even discuss until a few days before we leave. When we are in FL, I let the family members set the pace (which means much time that is NOT at WDW), because the beauty of timeshare is that I know we will be back often. It's probably more $ than we should be spending, but so is the new boat he is making payments on! He drives an expensive vehicle and mine is worth about $50, but he makes way more $ than I do, and encouraged me to stay home when the kids were little, so I say we are about even. The bottom line is that we have different interests can agree to disagree. Life is too short to stress over it!

 

[wheeler]

Oh boy do I know those "looks" you're referring to! Last year we stayed at AKL right when it 1st opened and within minutes of arriving, me and the 2 kids were on the balcony in awe of all the animals and beautiful scenery, and they kept saying, "Dad! Dad! Come here! Hurry up!" and after about the 4th time, I turned around and went inside to see what the heck was so important that he wanted to miss the look on his kids' faces, and....are you ready for this? HE - WAS - LYING - ON - THE - BED - WITH - THE - REMOTE - IN - HIS - HAND - WATCHING - TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was really furious. I wasn't even slightly amused. We had a little "talk" after that in which I told him that this was our FAMILY VACATION and that he could watch TV anytime at home. Scary that I had to make that point, I think! Anyway, he's not a "people-watcher" or a "detail-noticer" at all, which are two huge parts of enjoying WDW, so I realize it's just not his taste. He doesn't like crowds, walking, heat, fast-food, and especially.....getting up early. I've resigned myself to the fact that he's just not going to go with us and I can't let it get to me. Oh well. There ARE people who don't care for the place I suppose......I just never thought I'd be married to one!
and HeatherPage: My brother is pretty much looking for a complete hand-out. I cannot (will not either) buy airfare for 4 people. He has a decent job....he just lives paycheck to paycheck and my parents don't even charge him for rent or food! When we were teenagers (he's 4 years older than me - so I think that's another sore spot) he used to siphon gas out of my car, steal money from me etc. He just has this distorted sense of "entitlement" I guess. He just has no self control, and never did. I do feel bad for his kids, though. I resent that he makes me feel guilty because I can go places. It's not like I'm rich, I just "plan" for things, which is obviuosly a foreign subject to some people. I scrimped for five years and lived in a 3-room dive with DH & 2 babies and NO bathtub in order to be able to buy a house. I PLANNED for it. Sorry, I'm getting "preachy" and venting!!!!! Again I say....Oh well!

 

[vacationman]

Aside from all of the first-rate information, one of the great benefits of this board is finding out that I am not alone in many of my experiences regarding DVC.

First, I love WDW and, up until the past year, my wife did not share that feeling with me. What turned her around was the pleasant trips we have made to WDW since becomming DVC members. Just the fact that we don't have to "do it all" each trip makes for a far better experience. Every trip is a new experience for my kids since as they grow they "discover" new things at WDW. Also adding to her change in opinion has been the great accomodations - you can't beat the space and kitchen facilities a DVC room (of whatever size) gives you.

Second, no one outside my immediate family can understand DVC or our going to WDW so often. The only way we would ever get any family members to go with us would be to pay ALL of their costs. Even my MIL gets miffed when we do not offer to pay for everything for my BIL and his family since we "have so much more". She forgets that, maybe, just maybe, I have worked hard to get where I am and, unlike my BIL, I did not have a free ride through college. While I am the first to recognize that I have been very blessed in life, I don't believe in rewarding underachievement (but that's a whole different story - don't get me started).

I always regretted not being part of one of those families that got together each year or so at WDW. I am now making sure that my kids will never have the same regret.

 

[Lyndarella]

If anything can make a reluctant traveler more enthusiastic, it's the accommodations at DVC. Being able to stretch out in a "home" during the "down" time on vacation helps eliminate much of the stress that comes with family vacations.

 

[chris1gill]

Hmm, well yes & no LOL... My Husband constantly complains about the money spent for DVC... I offer to sell it (he knows I would just to make my point) & he's the first one to say DON'T DO THAT... of course he won't let me do it, he benefits from it & he actually LIKES IT!!! He just likes to complain about it is all... We go for one long extended vacation per year, as the cost of airfare & car rentals do get expensive, so I think we've sort of found our rhythm... Does your DH not enjoy sitting around the resort? Which resort did you buy into? Can he enjoy biking or boating? or golfing? horseback riding? He must have something of a hobby that he can enjoy while at Disney... As you probably know, Disney is so much more than the parks! I would try to find something at WDW that he likes & expand on it....

Now, as for relatives, I have a SIL that very often comments on our trips... she'd like her DS to go with us, which we want too, but he can't take two weeks off from school & I refuse to go during school vacation time, at least for another year! They too would like a complete handout for their DS, but this time around I can't pay 100% of the costs like I did for their DD... She often asks how we do it financially... I just say we have different priorities... I've offered her suggestions about how she could save money if she wanted & I always get the response "don't have time for that"... Well, she's got 4 kids & all 4 are in school, how is it she doesn't have time? Too busy golfing I guess!!! So if she doesn't have time, I guess they'll be waiting a long time to go!!!

 

[ErinC]

I can relate a little with your dilema. My husband only agreed to buy DVC because he wanted a motorcycle. I told him he could have it if I got to purchase into DVC, he agreed. He made a comment the other night that he is not interested in going to Disney every year. I, of course am interested in going multiple times a year. I hope that our first trip (DVC)in May will somewhat change his attitude. He enjoys in when he is there, and I'm going to try to make this trip at a leisurely pace so that he really enjoys it. I course he has said "we are not going every year" before and I just keep planning trips and he keeps going. We've been every year since 1998 together and even slipped in a trip to Disneyland last December. So I hope he's just blabbing.

Our friends and family always make comments about how many trips we take to WDW. In fact, I won't even put my DVC plate on my car because I just don't want to hear it from them. Of course they would all be willing to go as soon as we have the room to house everybody! I am looking forward to taking my parents, as they have never been for more than a day trip, and haven't been since probably the late 80's. Anyway, for the most part DH and I have decided that trips with kids, at WDW and other places are something that is very important, and we plan to vacation at least a couple of times a year with our kids while they are little. Just ignore your relatives. It's taken me awhile to realize I'm an adult and I can do what I want whether or not they are happy!!

 

[dianeschlicht]

No, DH and I both love WDW! Our problem revolves around people inviting themselves along when we want it to just be our family. This year we are doing the easy Christmas gift thing. We are giving airline tickets and admissions to the parks to our adult children and the SOs for Christmas.

 

[pharmlivin]

When we purchased DH was not interested. "If that's what you want to do" was his response. Well, we took a 5 day trip to Vero (home is VWL) in a 1 bedroom. He's hooked. I initially planned on every other year banking points but he now insists on returning to Vero every year and would perfer a studio so we could stay longer!!! I can do that. He too, is not a park person...just likes to relax...alot. So I have no plans to drag him around the parks. Maybe one park for one day during our stays a Disney World. Our kids are in college so our trip to Vero was very romantic (just us). We're going to VWL at Christmas time. Now I just have to deal with the 7 month window at Vero...but we're flexible. As far as family...I never told a soul about DVC. We just plan and go. They always preach about how bad timeshares are blah blah blah. Whatever. We're having a ball and looking forward to great getaways until we're 88 yeas old!

 

[SnowWitch]

My DH was actually the one to suggest purchasing into the DVC but he's by far the least thrilled with multiple trips to Disney every year. BUT I don't mind going without him and neither do the kids. He loves going in December but we couldn't drag him there in the summer monthes so we don't try. Does this cause tension? NO, he loves hunting which I hate with a passion but thats his thing and Disney is mine.

The subject of difficult family. I can't complain about moochers because I don't have any. My family and close friends know that DVC was a pretty costly investment and don't mind paying a nominal charge to go.

I do however have family that doesn't understand my addiction to the mouse. Mainly my father, he gripes every time we mention another vacation. I proudly have my DVC licence plate on my car but he has no clue what it means . He still doesn't know we bought in. I would NEVER hear the bloody end of it, anyway, he's not paying for it but he wouldn't understand that. He's a father and his opinion should always be heard and followed. HA!! What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Ignore and enjoy!!!

 

[perdidobay]

wheeler.
I know where you are coming from, but lucky for me DH fell in love with DVC after our first trip home ( I talked him into buying) Now he constantly brings up getting more points. As far as family, I have some family members who won't save and live beyond their means then get jealous when DH and I go places or buy things after years of saving and doing without. Only my parents know about our buying DVC, not even our best freinds know, Only a few people in my family know we bought a condo on the beach last year for the same reason.
MJ

 

[DVCajun]

My situation is actually similar to ErinC's-- DH wanted a dirtbike, I wanted DVC, we both got what we wanted. He enjoys riding his bike almost every weekend (during good weather), and understands that Disney is more of a hobby than a vacation destination for me. He still considers himself to be doing me a favor by going to WDW twice a year (or more), but he undoubtedly enjoys himself too. He gets to enjoy his hobby any time he wants, but I am forced to merely dream about mine for 90% of the year. Therefore, unless we move to Florida, I'm going to require a couple of weeks a year at my sanctuary. End of story. He seems to understand, most of the time.

But trust me, when the going gets rough and he wants to play dirty, the first thing that comes up is whether or not we'll go to Disney this year or not. It burns me up that he has that convenient weapon-- it's just so obvious how much it means to me. C'est la vie.

Oh, almost forgot the relatives thing. It's not just relatives-- friends can also get a little jealous. I actually don't like telling people that we're going *again*.... I have gotten the gamut of responses, from the sarcastic "Didn't you just get back?" to "Do you ever go anywhere else?" Plus, I feel like everyone has a misconception of our financial situation because we go so often. After all, everyone knows how expensive Disney World is-- add that to how often we go and you come up with "rich and frivolous." Not the case, as you all know. Then I feel awkward talking about money woes or stresses, because we just got back from another vacation at Disney World....

waaah, huh? But it's worth it. I guess there's a little cloud behind every silver lining.

 

[NCRedding]

Wheeler and RAMWDWFAN: Our husbands must be related. My husband (I will not call himDH after the day we've had) would be perfectly content to stay on the bed watching the TV. One reason I bought into DVC was so that we could stay in accomodations with 2 TVs so DD and I could sometime see what we wanted to--like the promotional videos, etc. I also get the "didn't you just go" all the time. It's one of those thing you either "get it" or you don't. I feel blessed that I "get it" and I'm passing it onto my DD.

 

[MdmMim]

The relatives that I have (who I know would mooch) do not know about my DVC points--and I have NO intention of telling them! I'll meet up with them at WDW for a few days, but I pay cash to stay at a hotel. After they go, I head over to the BWV and settle in. I've been burned too may times in the past by rude, assuming people (yeah, relatives.)

As for DH, he refers to DVC as MY DVC. He made a big mistake--he told me that he doesn't care how many times I go to WDW--as long as he doesn't have to go! That's when I became serious about DVC and bought in. I'll spend almost month at WDW in the winter--he visits me for a week. He understands my need to visit the Mouse!

 

[DVCajun]

No kidding, MdmMim-- a month!? How awesome! How many points do you have and where do you usually stay?

 

[DeeP]

Mainly my father, he gripes every time we mention another vacation. I proudly have my DVC licence plate on my car but he has no clue what it means . He still doesn't know we bought in. I would NEVER hear the bloody end of it, anyway, he's not paying for it but he wouldn't understand that. He's a father and his opinion should always be heard and followed. HA!! What he doesn't know won't hurt him

Snowitch,
I am in the same boat, my father constantly complains about the amout of my money/time I spend at WDW, yet he always is ready to join us on our WDW vacations, at my expense! Of course he has no idea that I own a DWC membership! I don't even want to go there!!!
I am lucky and do not get grief regarding my DVC membership from a spouse (I am single) and my friends and co-workers have long ago accepted my "Disney addiction" and do not even question it.
My father though, seems to still feel as though he needs to voice his opinion on how and where I spend my money.
I also get a certain amout of grief from my early adult aged children when they feel as though I am spending too much on my interests (WDW/DVC) and not enough on them! I just smile and make the next call to Member Services!
Ahhhh......life is good when we have WDW/DVC to go to and can block out the rest of our live's annoying interferences, who are trying to tell you how to live your life and spend your money!!!!

 

[Granny]

wheeler....you've obviously touched a nerve for many people. At least you're in great company!

As I indicated on the other post, we don't get a lot of jealousy or any reaction at all from most people. Fine with us, since we didn't buy to impress anyone.

Unlike many posters, it was I (the hubby) who pushed for DVC. We had a couple of great trips to WDW with the kids and in our "off years" (non-WDW trips), we had good vacations but not great. Last year, I asked the kids where they would go if they could go anywhere.....WDW of course! And Wilderness Lodge was a must!

So now my DW is on board. She is not a mouse lover, but enjoys the parks and pools. And we even talked about staying in a studio next year to save points for a second trip next year. Slowly but surely DVC is drawing her in...and we haven't made a DVC trip yet!

Best wishes to all. In-law problems are probably the worst, especially if the spouse won't acknowledge the problems.

Sorry to ramble!

wheeler....your DH isn't the guy whose head you weighed, is it?