Drinking while pregnant

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Have you called the manager yet?

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Can you imagine the spin the restaurant would put on this? "Oh so sorry for refusing to serve a pregnant woman alcohol! We're so concerned about everybody's safety here -- we have to watch out for all our patrons, even if they don't care for their own well-being!"

(again, I don't think it's wrong to have a glass of wine or beer while pregnant, but just trying to look at what the restaurant might think in all this.)

It depends on what the restaurant was thinking when they wouldn't bring the glass. Were they judging her or were they concerned of lawsuit in case she drank too much and then sued them for serving her. I'll have to say, on the few times that I had a little to drink I don't think that I ever ordered a drink in public, probably because I was worried about how others would judge me. Maybe I had a sip of my DH's drink, but as I recall that was the extent of it.

In my personal case, the funny thing is that when pregnant with my first child I wouldn't even taste wine and spit it out when we visited a winery with my parents. My mother, who never drank when us kids were growing up even told me I could taste the wine.

 

[DVC Jen]

I had hypertension during the last stages of my first pregnancy. My ob/gyn at one point told me to go home..relax, do nothing and sip a glass a wine.

I too would have given that waitress a not so small piece of my mind and then gone on to let her manager know what was going on.

 

[Marseeya]

It depends on what the restaurant was thinking when they wouldn't bring the glass. Were they judging her or were they concerned of lawsuit in case she drank too much and then sued them for serving her. I'll have to say, on the few times that I had a little to drink I don't think that I ever ordered a drink in public, probably because I was worried about how others would judge me. Maybe I had a sip of my DH's drink, but as I recall that was the extent of it.

In my personal case, the funny thing is that when pregnant with my first child I wouldn't even taste wine and spit it out when we visited a winery with my parents. My mother, who never drank when us kids were growing up even told me I could taste the wine.

When I was pregnant with my first, I craved beer -- and I hate beer! I went to a bar with some friends one evening and wanted just half a bottle of beer and they wouldn't serve me. It didn't even occur to me to get upset or complain about it!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

When I was pregnant with my first, I craved beer -- and I hate beer! I went to a bar with some friends one evening and wanted just half a bottle of beer and they wouldn't serve me. It didn't even occur to me to get upset or complain about it!

Well of course they wouldn't serve you--why would they serve you something you don't even like!!!

Seriously, though, I do think that the restaurant needs to know that many doctors don't think that a little alcohol will cause harm to the baby.

 

[Hillbeans]

Gosh, I guess you can flame me if you want, but am I the only one here who things it's wrong to drink while pregnant? Even a glass?

Granted, i'm not a waitress in a restaurant serving a pregnant woman drinks, however i'm sure some restaurant down the line has been sued for serving liquor to a pregnant woman who has had a miscarriage or a child with brain damage.

Maybe it's the restaurant policy not to serve pregnant customers liquor?

 

[Maleficent13]

Maybe it's the restaurant policy not to serve pregnant customers liquor?

That may be, and in that case, the waitress could have politely said: "I'm sorry, but I'm not permitted to serve pregnant women. Would you like to speak to my manager?"

Instead, she said this:

When I asked for a glass (really to just taste the wine, as I have been brainwashed by America), the waitress refused, saying she wouldn’t be responsible for the ‘death’ of my baby.

The delivery (no pun intended) makes all the difference.

 

[Beth76]

Gosh, I guess you can flame me if you want, but am I the only one here who things it's wrong to drink while pregnant? Even a glass?

I agree with you. They don't really know how much alcohol it takes to cause damage. Why risk it? I know many doctors say a glass occasionally is fine, but I really think they're trying to keep their patients happy. "Anything in moderation." I do think the waitress was wrong as that decision is up to each woman for herself to make. I hope the OP has spoken to the manager already. I'm interested to hear if there's a "policy" on this.

Where does something like this end? Can the grocery store refuse to sell me wine or even hard liquor if I'm pregnant? What about cigarettes? Just because I'm buying them doesn't mean I'm using them. I know the restaurant is a bit different since there's an implication of using. But, is it even illegal to drink or smoke during pregnancy?

 

[Jennifer S]

Gosh, I guess you can flame me if you want, but am I the only one here who things it's wrong to drink while pregnant? Even a glass?

Granted, i'm not a waitress in a restaurant serving a pregnant woman drinks, however i'm sure some restaurant down the line has been sued for serving liquor to a pregnant woman who has had a miscarriage or a child with brain damage.

Maybe it's the restaurant policy not to serve pregnant customers liquor?

No, you aren't the only one. I never drank. I admit if I saw a pregnant woman drinking I would have thought "what is she thinking". Just walking past you wouldn't know is it just a sip or is she planning on drinking a lot. I don't think the waitress handled it right though. She could have said "Sorry I'm not allowed to serve alcohol to a pregnant woman". If that's the case.

 

[MrsToad]

Gosh, I guess you can flame me if you want, but am I the only one here who things it's wrong to drink while pregnant? Even a glass?

Granted, i'm not a waitress in a restaurant serving a pregnant woman drinks, however i'm sure some restaurant down the line has been sued for serving liquor to a pregnant woman who has had a miscarriage or a child with brain damage.

Maybe it's the restaurant policy not to serve pregnant customers liquor?

I'm not flaming, just offering my opinion - we need to listen to our doctors and then make our own decisions. Some doctors, including mine, do recommend a glass of wine now and then as a healthy thing. We should not be critical of someone who listens to their doctor.

I can see a restaurant or bar not serving someone (male or female) who has already had several drinks or who is visibly drunk...I believe that is the law. However, to start setting policies that let the servers decide what is good for someone, and what is not, is not right. Personally, I would not visit a restaurant that endorsed servers passing judgment on guests. And, can you picture it? If a restaurant sets a policy not to serve pregnant women, will they urine test all women of childbearing age before they can order wine? Many pregnant women don't "show" until much farther along. And, if the servers judge by appearance alone, how will they apologize for refusing someone wine when they discover the woman is not pregnant but just chuncky in the tummy?

 

[cardaway]

I agree with you. They don't really know how much alcohol it takes to cause damage. Why risk it?

 

[disneysteve]

I agree that the waitress was out of line.

I also agree that the restaurant may not want the liability that could arise from serving pregnant customers, but the waitress was still out of line.

I also agree that "better safe than sorry" and I advise my pregnant patients to avoid all alcohol. I realize that it isn't realistic to expect that everyone will follow that advice, but I don't feel comfortable advising otherwise. Many patients tend to hear what they want to hear and if I say, "one drink now and then is ok" they may interpret that as "doctor said I could drink if I wanted to."

When DW was pregnant, we went out to dinner with friends. We arrived early and sat in the bar area waiting for them. I got an alcoholic drink. She got a non-alcoholic one that looked alcoholic (virgin daiquri). Actually had another customer make a rude comment about DW drinking. First off, it was none of her business and secondly, she was dead wrong since DW wasn't drinking alcohol. Sometimes, people need to learn to keep their lips together.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Ahhh the perfects have arrived.

I have known many women who have indulged in a few glasses of wine during their pregnacies and all of their children have turned out perfectly okay. The medical community would not be saying it is okay to have an occassional glass of wine or beer if there was some great risk.

 

[MoniqueU]

I can't believe how many people think it's ok to have a glass of wine while pregnant. I just never would of guessed and never did. I did drink coffee and smoke with no ill effects though to each his own.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I never think it's wrong to avoid alcohol when pregnant or any other time, for that matter.

The problem with not serving pregnant women is that most anyone would agree that if a woman were to drink occasionally during pregnancy, the least safe time would be early in a pregnancy and at that point a waitress wouldn't be aware of it.

I do believe that it's better to err on the side of caution when it comes to something like alcohol when pregnant, which is why with me it was rare and a very small quantity.

True that even if the waitress was within the law to refuse serving alcohol she did not handle it well, which makes me believe that it's her personal feeling, not the view of the restaurant.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I can't believe how many people think it's ok to have a glass of wine while pregnant. I just never would of guessed and never did. I did drink coffee and smoke with no ill effects though to each his own.

Wine - No, not okay
Smoking - Yes, because I did it
Okey dokey then.

 

[Beth76]

Ahhh the perfects have arrived.

Oh please. Dramatize much?

 

[Beth76]

I can't believe how many people think it's ok to have a glass of wine while pregnant. I just never would of guessed and never did. I did drink coffee and smoke with no ill effects though to each his own.

This is a joke right?

 

[Jennifer S]

I'm with you Beth- on both of those accounts.

 

[cardaway]

Ahhh the perfects have arrived.

Sorry to see you post something like that.