Dress your daughter like Dolly Parton and you might lose custody

[LuvsDragonflies]

Some of these moves look familiar.

 

[pacrosby]

Really? The young girls writhing to the beat on Dance Mom's isn't pedo fodder? Keep thinking that if it makes you feel better.

ALso, in your lovely photo with the fat mom, she's flanked by two nice looking mom's on either side, so pagent kid = dumpy mom is a fail.

Feel free to dump on Dance Moms all you want but please don't make the mistake of thinking it is representive of the dance competition world as a whole. It's not.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Feel free to dump on Dance Moms all you want but please don't make the mistake of thinking it is representive of the dance competition world as a whole. It's not.

I certainly hope not. It's like anything else, it only takes the ONE with exposure to make them all look bad.

Frankly, I think competitive dance must be a heck of a lot of work. Same with the cheerleading. Those kids are in some kind of shape and work long hard hours to do something they (hopefully) love to do.

Having a passion in life is a great gift.

 

[pacrosby]

Full disclosure. I think child beauty pageants (and adult ones for that matter) are rather lame. I don't care to watch and I really wouldn't introduce my child to them.

But if we're going to go down the road of saying child beauty pageants where kids are playing dress up are potentially injurious to the child well then that indeed opens the door to many organized sports and activities for kids. Gymnastics, an activity she pointed out, is an activity that is also done in skimpy costumes. At the Olympics, they had em cut so high on the side, the poor girls were constantly pulling them down. And that isn't done for athletic reasons. And then we have to take into account the enormous physical risk to the child gymnastics carries with it. How big a leap is it then to to say gymnastics is also potentially injurious to the child and as such is against the child's best interest? And once that very small step is made, the door is wide open for any parent to question the other on the basis of letting the kid play certain sports or entering beauty pageants or other organized activities.

But why shouldn't one parent be able to question the other? Isn't this really what this is all about..... a non-custodial parent's right to have a say in what their children do? If the parents were living under the same roof then both parents would usually have to agree on what kinds of activities the children would get involved with. So why, when there is divorce, should the non-custodial parent have no say?

Personally I'm thinking there is probably a lot of information we are not privy to. Parading her child around in that Dolly Parton outfit for all the world to see is not likely to have been the only example of questionable judgement on that mother's part.

 

[FireDancer]

I beg to differ. It is a form of child abuse. Having shows like JOn and Kate that too was child abuse. LEAVE your kids out of your need for greed and fame.

Exactly. I don't care what network shows up with a bag on money I would never in a million years exploit my children for 15 minutes of fame, full stop.

 

[Coconut36]

Really? The young girls writhing to the beat on Dance Mom's isn't pedo fodder? Keep thinking that if it makes you feel better.

ALso, in your lovely photo with the fat mom, she's flanked by two nice looking mom's on either side, so pagent kid = dumpy mom is a fail.

This discussion isn't about Dance Mom's..it's about this particular mother who dressed her child up in this manner and the child's father is taking the mother to court over it. If a Dance Mom's father was pissed about suggestive moves or revealing clothing then by all means he should take similar action.

You are basing your assumptions about all pageant Mom's off ONE photo? While I do agree it is not 100% dumpy unattractive mothers there is a certain percentage who are and you are a bit quick to dismiss based on 1 image.

 

[Coconut36]

But why shouldn't one parent be able to question the other? Isn't this really what this is all about..... a non-custodial parent's right to have a say in what their children do? If the parents were living under the same roof then both parents would usually have to agree on what kinds of activities the children would get involved with. So why, when there is divorce, should the non-custodial parent have no say?

Personally I'm thinking there is probably a lot of information we are not privy to. Parading her child around in that Dolly Parton outfit for all the world to see is not likely to have been the only example of questionable judgement on that mother's part.

I agree..I don't really see the issue or the "sets a bad precedent" thing. Do people really think there has never been disagreement among parents over dance, cheer, band, sports..etc? Disagreements that have probably made it to mediation if not court because one parent doesn't agree with the decisions of the custodial parent? Of course it happens and will continue to happen. I see nothing crazy or over the line about a father who does not like the idea of his 4 year old daughter wearing padded bust and bottom and being on TV/in pageants doing it.

 

[luvsJack]

I would think a pedophile would want a little girl to look like....oh, a little girl. They would be more apt to hang out at playgrounds or somewhere like Walt Disney World.

Don't get me wrong, I think pageants are disgusting (kiddy to adult), but I certainly don't equate it with child abuse.

I agree.

We cannot stop a pervert from looking at our kids, whether its in a pageant or at the playground. Saying that you are keeping your child out of pageants and not allowing them to dress up like Dolly Parton because you "don't want pedophiles looking at them" is a false sense of security. We have to protect our children in other ways.

I have no problem with most pageants. Just like a kid in sports, there are bad things and there are good things. But these kids can learn a lot of life lessons from being in the competitions.

 

[Nancyg56]

I watched one episode of Honey Boo-boo just to see what the hoopla was all about and I would remove the child from that home in a heartbeat. I don't understand anyone dressing little girls up like miniature women so that is an issue for me. It is exploitation of children IMO. I think that when a parent places kids in a media spotlight like the one this poor child is in that exploitation is magnified.

 

[mnrose]

Feel free to dump on Dance Moms all you want but please don't make the mistake of thinking it is representive of the dance competition world as a whole. It's not.

Really? My DD was in competitive dance in Minnesota for 4+ years, and I must say, while Dance Moms shows a bit more craziness than I saw, the types of dances they do is quite similar to those I witnessed. I got pretty tired of the way too sexy costumes and the booty shaking, and DD and I switched to another program....this geared more toward musical theater. She still does tap, jazz and ballet, BUT no skimpy costumes and absolutely no booty shaking. It is entirely possible to be in the dance world without being age inappropriate....and most competitive dance is, frankly, age inappropriate.

I think you are kidding yourself if you think competitive dance is all that far removed from pageants.

 

[sunsprinkle24]

I think the costume is fine but the padding is what is questionable. It;s sad theses days to look for a Halloween costume. EVERYTHING is sexy this, sexy that http://www.buycostumes.com/browse/Female/Kids-Costumes/_/N-jZ3l/results1.aspx

why does a teen need to be sexy? Just on the front page alone, the word "sexy" is used 4 times.

I agree with this. My cousin (15) has had such a hard time finding a costume this year that isn't "sexy". It's ridiculous.

 

[pacrosby]

Really? My DD was in competitive dance in Minnesota for 4+ years, and I must say, while Dance Moms shows a bit more craziness than I saw, the types of dances they do is quite similar to those I witnessed. I got pretty tired of the way too sexy costumes and the booty shaking, and DD and I switched to another program....this geared more toward musical theater. She still does tap, jazz and ballet, BUT no skimpy costumes and absolutely no booty shaking. It is entirely possible to be in the dance world without being age inappropriate....and most competitive dance is, frankly, age inappropriate.

I think you are kidding yourself if you think competitive dance is all that far removed from pageants.

Yes, really. And, no, I'm not kidding myself

My dd is also a very serious dancer who participates in competition on the side so I do have personal experience myself. I've sat through thousands of numbers and have very rarely seen sexy costumes and inappropriate choreography when it came to the Junior/Petite/Mini dancer. Teens and seniors? Maybe alittle more revealing costumes and more mature choreography but rarely anything that I would ever consider age-inappropriate. And those that were? Never won.

I post on a forum for real dance moms and this conversation has actually come up many a time since the premiere of this circus known as a reality show. Are there some studios like Dance Moms who like to push the envelope? I don't doubt that there are (especially on the west coast). But representative of the comp scene as a whole? No, absolutely not.

I am sorry you had such a bad experience. Done right, competition can be a great experience and an important adjunct to pre-professional training. It's all a matter of finding the right studio.

ETA: fwiw many competitions actually have specific rules about inappropriate costuming and choreography. Perhaps the studio you were affiliated with needed to be more selective.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

This discussion isn't about Dance Mom's..it's about this particular mother who dressed her child up in this manner and the child's father is taking the mother to court over it. If a Dance Mom's father was pissed about suggestive moves or revealing clothing then by all means he should take similar action.

You are basing your assumptions about all pageant Mom's off ONE photo? While I do agree it is not 100% dumpy unattractive mothers there is a certain percentage who are and you are a bit quick to dismiss based on 1 image.

Funny that the one photo has a 2 to 1 untroll mom count. I never said there weren't dumpy pagent moms, I'm saying THAT particular poster has stated pagent mom's are dumpy. The photo they posted shows that not to be the case.

This discussion is about inappropriate outfits/actions. I didn't see where the disclaimer said it was ONLY for THIS particular outfit. My posts are appropriate. I'm simply stating that if you want to get all huffy about this one outfit, there are plenty of others you've missed.

 

[eliza61]

If you haven't seen the tart moves, you've missed most of Dance Mom's. Their outfits alone are ridiculous. News flash, the dancing girls aren't selling Girl Scout cookies either.

There is no difference between them. They are all using the kids to sell sex. The routines of the Dance Mom kids are pretty much all sexual.

You want to pull one of these kid based reality shows apart, you need to hold the standard for all of them. For you to even try to say the Dance Mom kids aren't selling sex is ridiculous. They do it every week.

Hey you get no argument from me Luv, I don't watch dance moms but I would totally object if that's what going on.

The issue is that this case is about tiara's and toddlers and an argument can be made that at least the girls on dance moms are learning to dance. What are the toddlers learning?
Sorry putting fake breast and a fake deirre on a 6 year old is to do one thing, sexualize them. The more I use my beauty and body, the more praise I get? nice lesson.

Luckily when my niece was in dance school the focused on developing her talent NOT on dressing her up to play a movie hooker.

I'd have my ex in court justl like this dad. If my kid cannot be in a pagent without undulating, gyrating and looking "sexy" then i'll find some other avenue for them to compete in.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

It's really sad how they use these kids.

 

[Coconut36]

Hey you get no argument from me Luv, I don't watch dance moms but I would totally object if that's what going on.

The issue is that this case is about tiara's and toddlers and an argument can be made that at least the girls on dance moms are learning to dance. What are the toddlers learning?
Sorry putting fake breast and a fake deirre on a 6 year old is to do one thing, sexualize them. The more I use my beauty and body, the more praise I get? nice lesson.

Luckily when my niece was in dance school the focused on developing her talent NOT on dressing her up to play a movie hooker.

I'd have my ex in court justl like this dad. If my kid cannot be in a pagent without undulating, gyrating and looking "sexy" then i'll find some other avenue for them to compete in.

The child was actually 4 at the time of the padded bust/behind incident.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I don't understand the bolded - by allowing the four-year-old to add padding, etc.?

I really don't think the kid went out and procured any of that mess herself, that was all her mother's doing.

Go dad. This is what the mother is doing with his child? I'd be in court too.

I agree...
what I meant was that the mom allowed/permitted/caused it to happen, not the childs doing......but I can see how it may have "read" that way...thanks for pointing that out for me to clarify...

 

[cornflake]

The child was actually 4 at the time of the padded bust/behind incident.

Things you didn't think you'd type, Vol. 23.

 

[TomorrowlandFamily]

I thought it was cute. I didn't get a sexual vibe at all from it.

 

[Hrhpd]

Exactly, I saw this episode of T&T it was disturbing. But, I also agree with the mom. If this case is won by the father, what happens if any dad didn't want their daughters doing something. YOu mentioned Cheerleading, my DD does All Star cheer, what if we were divorced and her dad didn't want her to, what happens then. Gymnastics like the mom mentioned, very skimpy outfits, legs open, ( I find it disturbing how anyone could sexualize that, but people are crazy) some dad out there would object to it also. I think the blame needs to be on the pageant directors. They need to set rules. The ASASF has done this for all star cheer because in their opinion things were getting out of hand, Maybe pageants should follow their lead and do something about it.

The USASF's new modesty rules for all-star is costing me $550.00 this month - $400 for the new full top uniform (we were getting new ones anyway, and the gym decided to follow the rules early) and $150.00 for the warm up since the cheerleaders are no longer allowed to walk in any venue in their uniforms.

But I support it 100%. I am glad all-star cheer is making rules about skimpy uniforms and making it a rule that all cheerleaders have to be covered up unless they are on stage.

The pageant industry should take a hint and start putting policies in place.

That said, I think the father is well within his rights to seek custody. I see this as a disagreement between Mom and Dad and what their values are for their children. If this is not what he wants for his child, it is his duty to question it and have an impartial 3rd party make a determination. It is done in custody court everyday. This is only different because it is so public. And I would be hauling my ex into court if the other parent thought it ok to pad my toddler's butt and breasts and parade around on National TV.