Do your kids under age 13 use Facebook?

[mom0299]

Thanks for all the responses. I was just curious where other parents stand on this. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks it's wrong saying you're 13 when you're not. I think I'm going to keep holding my DD off on signing up for Facebook. She's already been asking for about 6 months.

Thanks Carnie for posting that letter from the principal, that was very helpful.

If it would help you could do what we did. A few months ago (when DS was still 12) he asked for a FB page. (DH and I have had ours for abour 2 years.) DH sat down with DS and started to fill out the info to get a FB page. He put in his real birthday and he was not allowed. DS knows it's not okay to lie so he didn't ask again until today, when he turned 13. We have already talked to him about being responsible and he is a good kid. We will monitor his page and make sure he handles it well.

 

[klj27]

I think sixth and seventh grades are hard enough, without adding facebook into the mix. There is so much girl drama at those ages that I would not even consider letting my daughter getting a fb, even after she turned 13. When I posted on my fb that it was her 13th birthday one of her friends moms replied that now she could get fb. I replied back that just because fb said she could have an account it didn't mean her mom said she could! Hello, I am her parent! I let her get an account in the middle of 8th grade and it has been a good experience. She is incredibly selective with who she accespts as a friend. She says if they are people that don't talk to her in person at school they don't need to be her fb friend. I think that has kept her out of a lot of drama.

 

[eeyore65]

My concern is really the monitoring. I don't have time to do that as I am blocked at work and don't want to spend our precious free time doing that. How much time does this monitoring take? And are you sure you are seeing everything?

 

[HFC1969]

Our DS (10) wanted on FB...

DW gave in and got him an Iphone.. He doesn't want on FB anymore..

 

[*BTMRR*]

The previous post about not being able to find out about certain teachers' assignments, or about sports practices etc. unless you're on FB just has me livid. That is WAY over the line IMO. I don't think any child should be penalized by a teacher or coach for not having a Facebook account, and I seriously doubt that the school district would allow this if they knew about it.

 

[HelenePA]

My 4 yr old and 7 yr old have facebook. with privacy settings at the highest possible! They have 6 friends... me dad uncle aunt and 2 kids down the street.. They play happy pets, happy aquarium and farmville... 9 yr old doesn't want though

 

[luvsJack]

Dd is 11 and has had a facebook page for 6 months or so. All of her friends are her friends at school or that she has met at other social activities or playing softball, etc.

She is also friends with me, both brothers and both sils. She knows that one of us will see everything she posts. Neither she nor any of her friends (I check her page fairly often as do her brothers) have posted anything inappropriate, just stuff like "yay me, I made cheerleader" or "saw a great movie tonight". The privacy settings are set so no one can see her page or pictures except her friends and she knows that she is to never friend anyone that she does not know.

Its mostly used as another way for her and her friends to communicate after school and on the weekends and they have fun with it.

There has been no bullying and nothing inapporpriate. Maybe that is because I constantly monitor her page and her friends' moms monitor their pages? Plus if there is anyone that has a tendency to bully or pick on the others, they just don't friend them.

As for the amount of time to monitor, I log on to the internet, log on to facebook, click on her name and go to her page, skim over everything and done and this is when I am going on my own page or coming to the dis. Maybe 5 minutes tops and that is not even every day--maybe every couple of days. The computer is in the living room so sometimes this is done looking over her shoulder.

 

[SydSim]

DD-13 doesn't have one yet/ she hasn't asked, and most of her BFFs have one. I know that most disers kids are saints, but my DD is a little immature and occasionally has diarrhea of the mouth. It's bad enough to hear some of the things she says, I certainly don't want it out there forever in cyberspace.

I told her that she can get one when she's 15, hoping that some level of maturity will have come to her tongue by that time. And when she does get one, being her friend isn't that important to me - having her password is. If I were her friend, she could always block certain things from me. Having the password allows me to see everthing (even private messages). And yup, I don't give a flying fig about her right to privacy at this age -she's a teenager with a teen brain. I luv the heck out of her, and we are close, but I don't believe for one minute that she tells me absolutely everything (good and bad) that goes on. So, spy I will. Flame away!

 

[pyrxtc]

DS10 has been using facebook for about a year. He has the privacy settings set so those who he friends are able to see any of his info. I'm friends with him as well so am able to see what's on his page. For friends he has aunts/uncles/grandparents etc... as well as some classmates. He'll go on and play games and stuff with his friends or relatives.
I don't feel it makes me a bad parent.

You do know that they can post thing that only certain people can see right ? Even if you can see his page as his friend ... he can block you from seeing everything unless you are signing in with his password.

 

[luvsJack]

You do know that they can post thing that only certain people can see right ? Even if you can see his page as his friend ... he can block you from seeing everything unless you are signing in with his password.

That is easy enough to do too, just have their password, I have dd's password to anything she does online.

Its really not any harder to keep up with what they are doing on facebook than it is to keep up with what they are doing in real life. It just takes knowing your kid and knowing their friends and keeping all the lines of communication open.

ETA: I don't believe for one minute that dd is a saint by any stretch of the imgination, but I do trust her. I don't have to worry about what she is doing online because in all this time I have not seen one thing posted that I didn't already know.

 

[aprilgail2]

The previous post about not being able to find out about certain teachers' assignments, or about sports practices etc. unless you're on FB just has me livid. That is WAY over the line IMO. I don't think any child should be penalized by a teacher or coach for not having a Facebook account, and I seriously doubt that the school district would allow this if they knew about it.

My daughter is in a theater company and they send out the audition notices via facebook- they will send it to a parents facebook but someone in the family has to have facebook to get the notices!

 

[tasha99]

No. No. No. DS12 has asked me several times, and it's still no. A bunch of kids at his school set up a "bullying" facebook page against one of his best friends. I am so glad that "liking" or joining or whatever was available on that page was not even an issue for DS, who may have felt peer pressure to join even if he thought it was mean. It was a big brouhaha at his school, and his friend is changing schools. I don't think kids that young have any business on social networking sites such as facebook or myspace.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Our DS (10) wanted on FB...

DW gave in and got him an Iphone.. He doesn't want on FB anymore..

But now he has internet in his pocket at all times? Too much potential for trouble IMO.

 

[allison443]

Our DS (10) wanted on FB...

DW gave in and got him an Iphone.. He doesn't want on FB anymore..

Couldn't he be on facebook via the iPhone?

 

[Terry36]

Not no but HECK NO!!! DD is 11 and does not need a FB account. Yes she has asked but has been told this is not an appropriate site for her to be a member of at her age. Several of her friends have accounts but I do not give in just because her friends are doing it.

 

[cocodog]

Absolutely not! DS is 10, 5th grade. DD is 13, 7th grade. Neither one of them is allowed, even though I have one. It is fun, but can also be very damaging and dark and hard to trace.
We got a letter home just yesterday from DS's school, saying for parents to please monitor their child's internet activity. There have been so many threats over Facebook (according to the school) that they cannot be responsible for mediating the issues at school.

 

[2girlsmom]

I agree with no on this one. My dd's are 12 and almost 10, they both have asked repeatedly to have one, they both have cell phones, they both know many of their bff's that have facebook too. I continue to tell them that I won't allow them to have it until they are old enough to have it legitimately. I do allow them to get on my facebook and play games, ie petville, cafe world, etc, but won't go for anything further than that until they are AT LEAST 13.

 

[SmallWorld71]

Absolutely not! My 14 year old has one. I will discuss it with my 11 year old when he is old enough. There is a huge problem at the school where I teach (and my two youngest attend) with 4th and 5th graders using their accounts to bully one another, sling insults at teachers and accessing inappropriate info. (finding out your "Lover of the Day" is a popular one!) Too many parents are completly naive when it comes to their children and technology. The age rule is there for a reason. As far as little ones playing games. Isn't it better to have them play on a different website or let them use yours to play than teaching them that lying about your age is the way to go?

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

Another NO chiming in here.

DD1 is 11. She knows the FB rules say 13. Turning 13 does not guarentee her a FB page. SHe also knows that if she is allowed to have a FB page, I will be one of her friends as will her father. We will also both have her password. She does have a cell phone and can text with her friends. I regularly check her messages to see who she is talking to and what she is saying!

Having said that, several of her friends (under 13) have FB pages. Most of them have not friended their parents, but despite me being considered a strict parent, they have sent friend requests to me. Go figure! On more than one occassion, I have "tattled" to a parent about what his/her kid is doing/saying on FB. It boggles my mind that young kids are on FB without their parents' knowledge or supervision.

 

[PaulaSue]

My girls use my account. I have friends and family that let their kids have thier ownand some are well under 13.