Tigger&Belle
<font color=blue>I'm the good girl on the DIS<br><
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2000
sam_gordon said:interesting.
lol
sam_gordon said:interesting.
I don't see how this is an important family event for your SIL. Your mother is no relation to her or her husband. It is an important family event for you, but not for her.I never asked sil for an explanation, she offered that on her own, because whenever she holds parties, she always wants to know why someone can't attend! She does has a habit of missing important family events, not just mine.
I have supported her in her weight loss attempts. Just because I posted here that she attempts fad diets and wastes a lot of money, which is true, doesn't mean I haven't supported her. I know how difficult it is, as I said, I struggled with weight issues my whole life. As a teen and young adult I suffered with easting disorders , and throughout my adulthood with yo yo dieting, fad diets, wasted money, etc. I finally was able to lose the weight by changing my lifestyle: the types of foods I eat, exercise, and realizing it is a total way of thinking, not just a diet.
I finally got it, that all the fad diets don't work long term, because you need to change the way you approach weight loss and maintenance as a forever change, not a quick fix, which is what sil still does. She wants instant results(who doesn't), but it doesn't work that way.
This is annoying, I keep getting bumped off. I guess I am taking too long to post!
I don't see how this is an important family event for your SIL. Your mother is no relation to her or her husband. It is an important family event for you, but not for her.
I have read many times just in the recent past how DILs should not feel obligated to attend an Inlaw function without their spouse. And they are actually the DIL.
Your husband's sister has no family obligation to attend your mother's party.
Your taking care of your husband's mother has no bearing on your SIL's decision. This was your husband's mother. You were related to her by marriage. Your SIL has no such connection to your mother, your mother is in no way family to your SIL.
When I read your original post, you said your mother only had you as family and very few friends. I can't help but surmise that you were inviting lots of people so your mom could have a bigger party. That is commendable, but you cannot get mad when somebody can't make it.
I sadly have to agree with the majority of posters here that despite how awful your SIL is the rest of the time, you were the one in the wrong this time. It was extremely rude to question her RSVP and to not let it go with several follow up emails.
I'm glad to see you all have talked things through and have a better understanding of everything.
I have a DSIL who I love dearly but she can drive me nuts too. I know I drive her nuts too, lol. She's been my SIL for 25 years.
Although my mom knows her well and we do Christmas together, Thanksgiving together (sometimes), parties for DD etc. together, I would not think she should feel any type of obligation to attend a party for my mom.
I really think it was an over reaction. It was a strange excuse but I'm sure if it was valid to her it was because she felt like she could not resist the temptations that would come with a party/dinner.
I'd move on and support her along the way and maybe share a favorite recipe (lowfat, low carb, whatever) along the way or a card of support.
I hope your mom's celebration is nice and that your SIL can reach her goals.
I'm glad to see you all have talked things through and have a better understanding of everything.
I have a DSIL who I love dearly but she can drive me nuts too. I know I drive her nuts too, lol. She's been my SIL for 25 years.
Although my mom knows her well and we do Christmas together, Thanksgiving together (sometimes), parties for DD etc. together, I would not think she should feel any type of obligation to attend a party for my mom.
I really think it was an over reaction. It was a strange excuse but I'm sure if it was valid to her it was because she felt like she could not resist the temptations that would come with a party/dinner.
I'd move on and support her along the way and maybe share a favorite recipe (lowfat, low carb, whatever) along the way or a card of support.
I hope your mom's celebration is nice and that your SIL can reach her goals.
Yes, it was an over reaction. Like I said , when I first posted, my emotions were in overdrive. I wasn't thinking clearly. There were also many underlying issues that had occurred previously between us that helped fuel the flames. We are both making extra effort to support each other. I appreciate your sentiments, thank you.
No, the OP was looking for validation. Many people said it was a good enough reason. Some people will do a lot of things including going to a non-blood members party. Oh and thanks for telling me the OP wasn't looking for healing. Good thing you are privy to what she is looking for. Interesting.