Do you like being called "The Wife?"

[RedAngie]

Not the preferred term, but I really wouldn't mind. I don't think either husband ever referred to me as such with hearing distance.

ExH sometimes jokingly called me "my first wife," and I'd retort with "my LAST husband."

 

[bcwife76]

I don't like the term 'the wife'. My husband has never referred to me as that, in conversations with others he will either say 'my wife' or just say my name.

 

[knkmom]

Not sure I've heard my husband refer to me as "the wife" in the 30 years we've been married but it wouldn't bother me if he did. If he did say it he wouldn't be doing it to be disrespectful or to demean me, it's just a phrase.....IMO.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Not a fan. It's impersonal and has a negative tone. The first thing I think of is a man using the term "the wife" to explain to his buddies why he can't or isn't "allowed" to do something. My husband doesn't refer to me as the wife--at least not to my knowledge!

 

[bdcp]

My DH would never do that. He does however refer me to sometimes as his "bride". We've been married almost 35 years (July) and he would consider that so disrespectful. He sometimes says "my wife", but usually refers to me by name.

 

[justgrace]

I always thought it was meant jokingly, at least that's how I've always heard people say it. Just like some people say, "the mom unit" or "the parentals". I don't think it's meant to be impersonal, at least that's not how I've heard it used or come across. I don't say any of those things, so what do I know? LOL

 

[TLSnell1981]

Not offended.

 

[Wishing on a star]

OMG, I would not be happy with that at all.
"My lovely wife", etc... great! But, 'the wife'.
THE WORST

It is the word 'THE' in particular...
It is one's spouse.
Huge difference between MY wife, and THE WIFE.
On the very same level as 'the old ball and chain' to me.

It is like saying 'The dog'.

Lacks any human respect.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

It doesn't bother me. my husband doesn't call me "the wife" but I doubt I'd notice if he did.
When he gets me really amped up about something and I want to get under his skin, I call him my first husband. He IS my first husband, but I'm his second wife, so for some reason it gets him all worked up.
I do refer to my sons as "the boy" when I am telling a story about either of them, especially a funny story. Like when I walked in and found my 16 year old sleeping with a stuffed animal, the story was that I found the boy curled up with a teddy bear- I never specify which boy though.

 

[Micca]

OK, so I wasn't totally off-track thinking "the wife" is not the ideal term. It's like there's "the plumber", "the realtor", "the vet", I just don't think "wife" fits with that category. In defense of my fellow men, they probably don't mean anything derogatory or negative, it's just words. As Christine said earlier, maybe they just picked it up from a tv show or a buddy.

BTW, I know a guy who referred to his wife as "the warden." I thought it was kinda funny, but he was just kidding. A spin-off of "ball & chain."

ETA: I see Wishingonastar was ahead of me on "the dog"

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I'd be very offended if my wife referred to me as "the wife".

 

[MickeySP]

My DH would never do that. He does however refer me to sometimes as his "bride". We've been married almost 35 years (July) and he would consider that so disrespectful. He sometimes says "my wife", but usually refers to me by name.

This is what my Dad would say about my Mom. Sometimes her would say " my first wife" but after 52 years I think my didn't mind.

I am " my girl" since not yet married, but I was my wife to the ex. I wouldn't like "the" in any fashion just impersonal to me.

 

[ronandannette]

I don't really care lol.

Not offended.

Agree with both of you. I've never heard my DH refer to me in any way that I thought wasn't affectionate and respectful - it's more about the tone I guess.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Agree with both of you. I've never heard my DH refer to me in any way that I thought wasn't affectionate and respectful - it's more about the tone I guess.

I'm sure he's called me worse
Never out loud but definitely in his head.

 

[WDWJDS]

My husband calls me "the wife" often, usually in reference to something he needs to get permission for. Not offended at all.

Don't like being called "Mrs. John Smith" though. I am not the female version of my husband.

I do call my best friend "wifey" and my co-workers refer to her like that as well. They know that our relationship is like a married couple. Years and years ago, I attended her college graduation (we were in our thirties at the time). The woman standing next to me said "is that your daughter?" I said "No, my wife". This was long before same sex marriages were legal. Boy did she give me a look.

 

[scrapquitler]

Doesn't bother me.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I've been called worse, but no I don't really like the phrase.

 

[Ephany]

DH does call me the wife or my wife when he's at work. In his defense, I will never meet his co-workers as he travels around the country. He says it just simplifies the conversation. Doesn't bother me. However, I despise being called Mrs. John Smith. Hate, hate, hate it. I only tolerate it from DH's elderly relatives. I am not his possession. I much prefer Dr. and Mr. Smith.

 

[CPanther95]

I agree that it is more impersonal - but I don't think that's a reflection on the husband/wife relationship. I think it is generally used with people you are less familiar with - who don't know your wife - and it is meant to keep it less personal between the people you are talking to and your wife.

 

[wenrob]

Doesn't bother me but I called my husband "the old guy", so what do I know. lol, my hubby called me "she who must be obeyed". worked for me

I call mine "the old man," so "the wife" doesn't bother me at all.