Do you have *that* one relative that gets on your every last nerve? Holiday...

[Twilight Sparkle]

Several of them. That's why I started planning family holiday get-aways for my little family of three. That way we always have a good excuse not to be around the larger extended family drama during what is supposed to be a pleasant time. This strategy has proven itself fun and stress-free.

 

[wenrob]

That's a sad comment about your mum.

No everyone’s mother is June Cleaver. I’ve got two (bio and step) and they are both far from it.

 

[Mirielle]

The closest I can come to having a relative that does this sort of thing is DH's brother and sister in law. They're really nice people...have extremely good jobs, give their time and money to the community, have raised kids anyone could be proud of. The problem? A party in full swing with everyone laughing and having a great time comes to a screeching halt when they enter. They can't stop talking about their religion and people tense up around them. Even Christmas dinner becomes a stiff affair when they're included. JUST NOT FUN!

 

[bethbuchall]

We probably do, but we don't get together with really extended family because we don't live near them. For holidays, we see my husband's parents and his sister when she's around one weekend. We see my parents another weekend and my brother with his family if they are also able to be there the same weekend. I rarely see any aunts, uncles, or cousins, and none of my grandparents are living at this point. Things are getting even more spread out now that my two oldest are living away from home with significant others.

 

[Alice Hart]

No everyone’s mother is June Cleaver. I’ve got two (bio and step) and they are both far from it.

My comment wasn't to you unless you are using 2 accounts. But sad again. It's a shame that we cant figure out that at the end of all things, family or what is left of it, is all that we have. They will be the ones to take care of your burial or rituals.

 

[wenrob]

My comment wasn't to you unless you are using 2 accounts. But sad again. It's a shame that we cant figure out that at the end of all things, family or what is left of it, is all that we have. They will be the ones to take care of your burial or rituals.

Your comment doesn’t have to be to me for me to respond to it. That’s why we call this a message board.

You don’t know this poster (or me for that matter) or her family dynamic. Family is what you make it, it’s not exclusive to the people you were born into. My mother? A woman who abandoned me at the age of two and treats my kids like second class citizens. I owe her nothing. Not now and certainly not at “the end.” You do you and I’ll do me, thanks.

 

[Alice Hart]

Your comment doesn’t have to be to me for me to respond to it. That’s why we call this a message board.

You don’t know this poster (or me for that matter) or her family dynamic. Family is what you make it, it’s not exclusive to the people you were born into. My mother? A woman who abandoned me at the age of two and treats my kids like second class citizens. I owe her nothing. Not now and certainly not at “the end.” You do you and I’ll do me, thanks.

Ok. I meant no harm, but I guess that's a sore point for you. My comments stand. I will do me.

 

[disykat]

I find that odd that you are that offended. When we have large family get togethers there are pictures taken of only grandchildren, only siblings, only parents, only parents and offspring, and everyone together. I can see parents wanting a picture of just their grown children. It doesn't bother me in the slightest when my mother-in-law asks me to take a picture of her and her adult children exclusively. That said, when we are on vacation or celebrating an occasion with my kid's long term boy/girl friends I won't ask them to step out of pictures.

Having an occasional pictures of select groups is way different than asking for everyone in the room (adult children and all their children) except for the not related by blood in-laws. My dh has pictures with his parents and siblings, or we'll take just the grandchildren with the grandparents, but if they asked for everyone in the picture except for in-laws that would just be rude! In my DH's family that would mean "disykat, step out of the picture so we can take a real family picture."

 

[ashley0139]

That's a sad comment about your mum.

You have no idea of their family dynamic. Someone being a blood relative does not make them a good person. Family is what you make of it, not who is blood related to you.

My comment wasn't to you unless you are using 2 accounts. But sad again. It's a shame that we cant figure out that at the end of all things, family or what is left of it, is all that we have. They will be the ones to take care of your burial or rituals.

It's a shame you can't see that some people have different family experiences than you do.

 

[superme80]

My sister! Oh my gosh her! She is just drama. My parents give into her a lot because she lives near them and it is easier. I live a few hours away, so I have finally decided to not deal with her nonsense anymore. I am getting a lot of flack for it. I am very thankful that I have sane in laws who understand and are willing to be there for me when I need someone.

 

[mummabear]

Bahaha is this one of those every family has one and if you don't think yours does it because it is you?

 

[mummabear]

Yeah, we have a couple, actually. My mom was always a drama queen--you could count on a meltdown in the middle of dinner because she felt under-appreciated. And maybe she was, but honestly, she brought it on herself. One of my brothers could always be counted on to stir up trouble, so by the time dinner was over, Mom would be in tears and everyone else would be mad at each other. It was completely miserable. Now when I celebrate holidays, I make a point of doing things completely different, and doing just what I WANT to do, and what my family wants. (No big dinner, snack-type grazing, etc.)

For better or worse, now my mom is dead, and my obnoxious brother lives in Germany, so no more dramatic family meals.

Yup this is my family!

 

[Realfoodfans]

My MIL - a cruel and narcissistic lady who never accepted me (second marriage) and did not accept invitations to be part of my family. MY parents, brother, children all tried to include my new in laws but she would say (with venom) they're nothing to me. Now she's a widow and thinks we're awful not to invite her (as the majority of friendship and family no longer even call on her) but there is no way she will ever inflict her nastiness on those she offended in the past. She is cruel to my DH who does everything he can to make sure she's looked after and upsets him on a regular basis but he has a sense of duty for her welfare.
Also my step daughter but I could write a book on that young woman!

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

More than one!!
and one of "them" ( MY UNCLE, DAD'S BROTHER) is moving from Arkansas to 12 miles away. In the last month, he's called me repeatedly asking about apts, confirming his move then let's get together...
I have to find the right time to say" I have an extremely busy life as you already know working FT,help caring for my elderly parents (your brother) and babysitting my grandson. If you moved here just to be closer to me, you made the wrong decision".

 

[MrsDuck]

I have 4 of these - 2 are on hubby's side, 2 are on my side. Thankfully, we only see 1 semi-regularly.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Really? that was an attack. I have many friends but let use the boards ability to call you out for that personal attack. Also noting who liked your comment. Real Gems of people there, quandrea, realfoodfriends, and amberpi.

Hey Disboards, what happened to not allowing personal attacks?

You said family is all you'd have to take care of your burial. I have friends who could take care of those arrangements, hold my hand at the end, take care of my pets and raise my child. In fact, friends have already been tapped for some of those tasks. I'd be up a creek if I had to rely on my terrible relatives, so I'm glad I've fostered meaningful relationships with people outside of my genetic ties.

 

[marcyleecorgan]

Depends on which side of the family you ask!
If you ask our side, THEY'RE the crazy ones. If you ask them, WE'RE the crazy ones.

Dealing with my entire family is like trying to teach a herd of cats how to ballroom dance, in the rain. You might get some compliance but you're likely to also have more than one sharp and angry opinion whirling around your head...

 

[Alice Hart]

Depends on which side of the family you ask!
If you ask our side, THEY'RE the crazy ones. If you ask them, WE'RE the crazy ones.

Dealing with my entire family is like trying to teach a herd of cats how to ballroom dance, in the rain. You might get some compliance but you're likely to also have more than one sharp and angry opinion whirling around your head...

My family is transcontinental so I understand what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to teach algrebra to a dog, but they are genuinely good people. The big thing is to leave out politics. Religeon is going to happen at the holidays and that is fine.

 

[HarperLeigh]

If you are looking for a shrink or a confessor then I must apologize, I'm not that person. If you want to vent your angst against me then please do continue. And I hate to tell you that family is a genetic thing. You can try to escape it, but you cant.

Family is not a genetic thing. Unless you believe adoptees aren't part of their family.

 

[Realfoodfans]

Family is not a genetic thing. Unless you believe adoptees aren't part of their family.

I totally agree with you. And "families" brought together by lots of different ways. I count my best friends among my "family".