Do you have neighbors that don't socialize?

[aprilgail2]

My neighborhod is great except for one house, they don't come out to say hi and just seem snooty to us all. In the summers we do sit out in the front with all the other neighbors and talk and have coffee or soda (no one drinks). One neighbor on one side comes over every day to say hi to my daughter (they have done that since the day she came home from the hospital when she was born). 4 neighbors come over with gifts for my daughter for her birthday, easter, christmas and any other holiday they can buy gifts for. We have a block party every year-everyone but the snooty stuck up family participates. I would hate to live someplace where no one got together. New Years eve we have a big party with neighbors and everyone hangs out and plays board games and eats.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Our neighborhood is somewhere in between what you're describing--plenty of social people, some people who I wouldn't even recognize, and many in-between. We're some of the in-between people--we will chat with the neighbors sometimes, go to a home party on occasion, and will wave when driving by. I think our neighborhood has a good balance.

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

Our neighborhood is very social and sounds similar (minus the beers). BUT, we live on a cul-de-sac and we know everyone save for two families who, actually, live next to one another. They're NEVER out. We all watch each others kids. There are four of the moms who I call the Desperate Housewives -- they're so snobby and exclusive.

Tigger, ours sounds a lot like yours.

 

[Kath2003]

I have housemates that don't socialise. Their idea of a good night is a cup of tea and a documentary about Scotland.

Luckily that's only a couple of them and the others are lots of fun

I don't know my neighbours, they seem pretty quiet for students

 

[Tigger&Belle]

It's kind of funny, but we have two main streets in our little neighborhood, both cul-do-sacs. Our street doesn't seem nearly as social as the other street--I see those people out chatting and drinking more often than on our street.

 

[KirstenB]

Our street used to be very social, then 2 of the 5 owners moved. The young couples who moved in seem to work a lot and they don't have kids. Anyway, I brought each of them some cookies when they moved in, etc, but we rarely see them. Sigh....

Anyway, we're still very close with one of the families who moved, so we get together often. I really miss living on a social street.

 

[TammiMcMan]

We live in the neighborhood where I grew up. When I was young, none of the mom's worked and they were constantly at each others houses. Every Friday night was card night with neighbors, there were weekly block parties in the summer time as well. Nowaday's we wave to the neighbors when we see them, but basically we're never home. At the end of the summer, the guy living next to us asked if DH and I were getting divorced. Every time he saw DH coming or going, he was carrying bags that he thought were luggage. They're actually skating bags and his gym workout clothes that go back and forth to work everyday, but we got a big laugh out of it. I didn't know that we were being watched so closely though . I think everyone pretty much keeps to themselves, or if they do have people over, it's their own friends and not necessarily other neighbors.

 

[olena]

I'm surrounded by neighbors who don't socialize. I wonder what they think of us, but who knows. We don't have kids and I wonder if that has to do with it. On the other hand, no one really seems to talk with anyone else. Also, this is a nice neighborhood with a lot of turnover, so many just don't bother.

 

[Cool-Beans]

We used to live next to a guy who mowed his lawn 2-3 times a day and went out at night with a flashlight, bending over and scrutinizing God knows what. He tried to sue us for building a house there, because it caused puddles to form on his lawn. We all called him Lawn Boy.

He went to work every day, but nobody knew what he did. He never talked to ANYONE (except through lawyer, of course.) One night he was on 60 minutes explaining something and we found out he was a scientist. The we all called him The Mad Scientist.

Then one day a bunch of cops showed up - he'd killed himself. Then everyone said, "That wasn't very nice of us, calling him names." But he was more than a little creepy.

Some people want to be and should be left alone.

 

[Robinrs]

When you live inside a big city, socialization between neighbors is rare, at least in my case. I have no idea who my neighbors are... and they don't know me.

 

[Disney Doll]

I live on the corner of a main road and a very quiet side road. My house faces the main road, & there is a church and a cemetery across the street, so not much socializing there!!!!!

The neighbor across the side road from me, and the neighbor who live behind me, are very sociable with me and each other, which is nice. There is a cranky couple who live diagonally who we ignore...they don't like dogs, noise, people, cars etc...and next door is a young couple with kids who are nice, but since DH & I don't have kids, we are kind of in different worlds...they're busy with the sports and scouting and all that jazz people do when they have young children. But they are nice and friendly and certainly we would help each other if the need arose. We have been to a coupleof parties and picnics at their house over the years, for the kids' brirthdays and such. Diagonally behind in the other direction is a nice single woman with a couple of teenagers who I wave to when I see her, but that's about it.

So basically it's the 2 immediately close neighbors that I socialize with.

 

[kristen821]

It sounds just like my block and I love it. I don't drink like a lot of the neighbors do. Maybe a drink here or there, but I don't like to be drunk. My kids are 8 and 4 and I always know where they are, but I can see someone possibly thinking I don't. Are you sure the kids are unsupervised? My dd is never out without dh or myself and she knows to ask before she runs home to get her bike or something, which is never more then 4 houses down and we watch her. We also don't let them run around after dark they have to stay on the property of the house we are at.

I used to think just like you, but dh started talking to the neighbors then I did and I actually enjoyed it and the kids love to hang out with the neighbor kids. You might like to hang out with the neighbors. You don't have to drink. I rarely do.

 

[JVL1018]

I am friendly as in a hi how are you kind of thing, but that's it.

The lady across the street has a daughter who just started college this year-she drives up the block,opens her garage door as she's driving, pulls in her garage, shuts the door and that is literally all we see of her. Nice home, expensive car, so she does well, but no idea who she is beyond a brief description.

The people next to her, an elderly couple, we know pretty well, they have lived here since my husband was born(he grew up in this house)-I offer them a ride if I see them walking, DH shovels their driveway, my kids love to say hi and we chat if we're outside together.

Our next door neighbors are nice, they are Orthodox Jewish and don't socialize outside of that group, from what I can see, but good neighbors, they brought over a gift when my son was born, helped me jump my car once when my son left the interior lioghts on and drained the battery-and my kids and their 2 oldest are the same age and they yell back and forth to each other over the fence and play if they are in the front yard at the same time, which is rare.

The two houses next to them, we know pretty well because again, they have been there since DH was little, we chat if we run into them, wave when we see them-but they have kids that are in college or out and married(we're friends with one of the kids actually) so not a ton in common.

DH and I are neighborly though-we have found TWO lost kids in our neighborhood.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My old house was like that.... In fact we are going back home to vacation with some of them.
Also some are coming to DFW this week and we will visit with them.
It was fun while it lasted.

Now here in DFW, I know my neighbors and we have done a little socializing but I prefer to keep it quiet this time around.

 

[Mona1908]

Here is the thing, we all know when we buy what type of neighborhood we want to live in. Your neighbors didn't start hanging out in the streets overnight. Surely the realtor told you it was a social neighborhood yes no? We wanted a small town neighborhood, spaced out and quiet. We also wanted kids in the neighborhood so that our kids will have others to grow up with and go through school with. Our neighbors are pretty reserved, polite, and speak when they see you. You should keep a open dialog with who lives around you. Even if it's just a few words. The best neighborhoods are not exempt from burglars. You want someone looking out. Things happen, you need to be aware. You don't have to be social but have common curiosity . Especially for your kids. At some point your kids are going to want to play with the other kids, you don't want the neighbors that you barely conversed with to be scared to say something to your kids if caught doing something they shouldn't while playing out with others. It takes a village. All I'm saying is keep a open dialog, show your face at an event every now and then. We don't hang out with our neighbors but we have gotten to know them overtime. One told my 10 year old hey don't go over there it's poison ivy under thoes rose Busches. Her and a little girl were trying to pick roses. I was happy to hear one of the neighbors saw them and felt comfortable enough to get on they butts. Don't be a stranger in your neighborhood. Speak, smile, show up every blue moon for a gathering.

 

[GreatLakes]

We have one that is basically a hermit and we do find it very strange. We didn't know they had a dog until it escaped one day and ended up in our yard and didn't know they had children until years after they moved in. It isn't like you have to get invited over for holidays but we are outside with our kid and walk our dog daily. We are outside in the summer and say hi to the neighbors when we see them. I don't know all of their names but I know which ones have kids, their general ages, and see them quite a bit during the summer. These people you see when they pull into or out of their garage and when they bring their garbage out late at night. My wife and I refer to them as the Klopeks.

 

[Erzengel]

We're the neighbors that don't socialize. LOL

 

[lynxstch]

11 year old Zombie thread as a first post? Welcome to the DIS

 

[puck]

I don’t socialize with my neighbors. I don’t understand why you resent them for doing so? Because you r3qlly sound like you resent them. Do they make so much noise it’s disturbing inside your house or do their activities keep you from being able to drive down your street? Otherwise I wouldn’t care.

I’ve noticed that some women resent any type of social gathering that they don’t want to go to. I think it is some kind of sense of social obligation and the need to fit in that drives that. My mother and sister would both resent feeling obligated to go to things but would also be angry when people didn’t want to go to their things. They tell me I am a female with a male brain. If that’s the female brain I’m glad I don’t have it. Good luck.

 

[OhMari]

11 year old Zombie thread as a first post? Welcome to the DIS

I had to go look where it started.
To bad it is a Zombie thread, the thread is pretty irrelevant for me. I moved out of our old neighborhood were we lived for 28 years. We were never really close to our neighbors, but we did talk.

In our new home area, I counted the other day and 20 homes have either been built or homes have been sold and turned over in our new neighborhood. We live at the beginning of the subdivision and up toward the middle of the street, there tends to be more families with children. They are outside nightly with their kids for about an hour or 2. The moms are talking and the dads are standing around drinking beer, while their kids are riding bikes, playing etc. The younger families tend to stick together. I counted 8 homes where the couples are all over the age of 65. Most have told me, the sold the family farm and built or bought a home in our subdivision. I am trying to think of ways of maybe getting some of the older couples to socialize, but I think they are like my husband. I call him a hermit- He leaves for work at 7:00 a.m. and is home by 5:30 p.m. He only comes outside to cut the lawn and take care of a few things around the outside. It does surprise me that he has people stop in their cars and ask him questions. Me-I probably know more of the dogs names in the neighborhood. No one wants to socialize, most just want to be left alone. Also our age builds the houses and the younger generation is just waiting for us to put them up for sale.