Do you have neighbors that don't socialize?

[Meriweather]

No one really socializes. We wave and say Hello, but that is about it.
No one is outside that much.
Fine with me. I am really not much of a socializer.

 

[Sabeking]

I moved from a neighborhood because it was too social for my liking! The final straw was seeing my neighbor one Saturday morning passed out on the front lawn surrounded by liquor bottles. This was a family / middle class neighborhood. We moved to a more established ( older neighbors) neighborhood with large wooded lots. My kids were young and had friends over from other relatinships outside of the neighborhood. A few friends they did have in the neighborhood, we made a point not to become social with the parents just not to complicate things.

 

[jaybirdsmommy]

Our current neighborhood is fairly rural with large lots. We see people out walking and occasionally talk to the older couple that shares a driveway with us but other than that we've only met 3 other sets of neighbors. 1 when my little dog took off after a deer and cut through her yard, 1 when they pulled into our driveway after we'd lived there 6 months to introduce themselves, and 1 when the guy that lives on the other side of us cut though our yard in the dark with a flashlight to tell us our pool filter was too noisy. I'm pretty sure he thought we were strange, but he scared me to death. He popped up out of nowhere at the backdoor and started talking to my kids before I realized he was there. He's lucky, all 3 dogs were out and thankfully the little dog (2 big dogs love everybody) didn't seem to mind him.

Our last neighborhood was strange. Some neighbors were friendly, our next door neighbors would grab their kids and run inside whenever we went outside. I've posted on here several times about our backyard neighbors. They also ran when they saw us outside, because their only means of communicating was to call the city at least once a month to complain about whatever ridiculous thing they could think of. I'm not the most sociable person in the world, but I've never lived somewhere surrounded by so many people that I couldn't get along with. Funny thing is, we're never home. Between work and kids activities I've never figured out how we could manage to offend anyone in the little time we spent there.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

No one on our street really talks to each other.

One house just sold to a younger couple and one is still for sale.

Everyone has to work hard just to survive here, not much time left for socializing.

 

[endy]

Not sure if our cul de sac is cosidered a neighbourhood or not. I know more than half of of the neighbours, most are owner occupied and 2 rentals.
Already today (it's only noon) I asked one guy to help start my gas lawnmower, had another borrow a rake. I mow next door yard, they pick up my mail when I'm away. Another I go over to feed the cats or walk the dogs when she is away and they shovel my snow.
Really helps that half of us have dogs and see each other regularly at the park. Only one small kid and a few teenagers so it' pretty quiet.

So I guess it' not uncommon that some of us are chit chatty especially now that it' nice enough to be outside

ETA: Still an interesting thread even if it is old'. Still relevant today and in 10 years.

 

[nkereina]

OP, you may live in my neighborhood. LOL! The scenario you describe sounds just like my neighborhood, and my DH and I much like your family. However, we do not have kids, so we cannot relate to our neighbors with kids that socialize together. DH and I often joke that we must be like Todd and Margot from Christmas Vacation to all of them. LOL!

We will wave or say a quick hi how are you if we catch them outside, but otherwise we keep to ourselves. We'll keep walking or shut the door after waving. We're never rude and I think they catch our boundaries. Try not to feel too guilty about it!

 

[TavieP]

And if so, what do you think of them? I feel bad, cuz we don't socialize w/our neighbors very often. But, they are the opposite extreme...they have to socialize every second they're outside. Now with summer coming, I just dread it. They all have big backyards, but no one goes there. They all stand around in the middle of the street, parents talking w/their beers, kids running around w/no one watching them. We live in a very nice neighborhood, but I feel likes its a row of frat houses. When we're outside, I like spending time with my kids. And, unlike them, I don't let my 2 year old just run around down the street on her own without knowing where she is. I feel like they think we're rude, but DH & I work all week (only one other mom works) and we like spending our family time together as a family when we actually have some free time. I really have no desire to stand around making small talk. They set up 'street activities' for everyone on our block, even though we have 'subdivision activities' for the exact same thing. Anyway, just kindof annoying and felt like venting and seeing if anyone else has a similar situation. Or, if you're like any of my neighbors and wondering if you think I'm rude.

I'm definitely not a socializing-with-my-neighbors type, more than a saying hi if I see them when I leave or come home, or we'll take in each other's packages occasionally and let the other person know we have a package for them.

We live in a 2-family brownstone, on the top floor; the other family has all the other floors, and they moved in about 6 months ago. When they first moved in, we said hello/welcome, and we did some idle chit-chat about coming over for drinks sometime, but it never manifested, and I'm glad - they're nice, but my boyfriend and I are both very shy people so it would be very awkward.

This has been the case every place I lived. My dad definitely socializes with his neighbors more than I do, but he's a talkative type and lives alone so any social activity is exciting for him.

ETA: I didn't realize this was a zombie thread but it's a fun one, ha.

Also, I don't know the names of the people in the brownstones next to us but we always wave and say hi when we see them, I wish it weren't awkward at this point to introduce ourselves. My boyfriend fell on the ice down the street in March and ended up cracking his spine and the guy next door helped him back to the building and looked very worried when we put him in the ambulance (he's fine!) - I always want to ask his name, but it's too late now, so I just smile and say "hi".

 

[scrapquitler]

And if so, what do you think of them? I feel bad, cuz we don't socialize w/our neighbors very often. But, they are the opposite extreme...they have to socialize every second they're outside. Now with summer coming, I just dread it. They all have big backyards, but no one goes there. They all stand around in the middle of the street, parents talking w/their beers, kids running around w/no one watching them. We live in a very nice neighborhood, but I feel likes its a row of frat houses. When we're outside, I like spending time with my kids. And, unlike them, I don't let my 2 year old just run around down the street on her own without knowing where she is. I feel like they think we're rude, but DH & I work all week (only one other mom works) and we like spending our family time together as a family when we actually have some free time. I really have no desire to stand around making small talk. They set up 'street activities' for everyone on our block, even though we have 'subdivision activities' for the exact same thing. Anyway, just kindof annoying and felt like venting and seeing if anyone else has a similar situation. Or, if you're like any of my neighbors and wondering if you think I'm rude.

We are the neighbors who don't socialize. We wave when we see someone outside and are driving by. I have no interest in hanging around with the neighbors, going to cookouts, etc. The other day we were getting out of our car as our neighbor was walking his dog by and he stopped to talk to us for a while and I was dying because I really have no interest in making small talk with people.

 

[prprincess]

No one in my neighborhood socializes. We are all friendly, say hello, and stop for small-talk, but no one hangs out at anyone else's house or invites anyone over. Which is fine with me. When I used to live in the city, it was just way to close for comfort. Not just proximity, but we lived in a row home so people were always watching your comings and goings, in the business, etc.

 

[Colleen27]

Our block is really social. And yeah, a lot of it is the "parents drinking beers while the kids run around" kind of social. We're in an established neigborhood with a range of ages/situations, from the 90yo widow next door to our next door neighbors who are still in the 'talking about starting a family' stage, and the socializing is very informal, just chatting over the fence or sitting around the firepit in someone's yard, but we all know one another and look out for each other and pets/kids in the neighborhood.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Here is the thing, we all know when we buy what type of neighborhood we want to live in. Your neighbors didn't start hanging out in the streets overnight. Surely the realtor told you it was a social neighborhood yes no? We wanted a small town neighborhood, spaced out and quiet. We also wanted kids in the neighborhood so that our kids will have others to grow up with and go through school with. Our neighbors are pretty reserved, polite, and speak when they see you. You should keep a open dialog with who lives around you. Even if it's just a few words. The best neighborhoods are not exempt from burglars. You want someone looking out. Things happen, you need to be aware. You don't have to be social but have common curiosity . Especially for your kids. At some point your kids are going to want to play with the other kids, you don't want the neighbors that you barely conversed with to be scared to say something to your kids if caught doing something they shouldn't while playing out with others. It takes a village. All I'm saying is keep a open dialog, show your face at an event every now and then. We don't hang out with our neighbors but we have gotten to know them overtime. One told my 10 year old hey don't go over there it's poison ivy under thoes rose Busches. Her and a little girl were trying to pick roses. I was happy to hear one of the neighbors saw them and felt comfortable enough to get on they butts. Don't be a stranger in your neighborhood. Speak, smile, show up every blue moon for a gathering.

Welcome to the dis, Mona.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Ugh - didn't realize it was a zombie thread!

(But I agree it's worth revisiting, so I'll answer anyway. )

My neighborhood used to be really social, and I loved it! We first moved in when DS was about two, and most of the moms were home with little ones as well. We'd "circle the lawnchairs" and watch them play almost every afternoon (and it did often turn into "happy hour" on summer Fridays ). There were lots of cookouts, and even some traveling together.

But the kids grew up...the moms went back to work...and time became a precious resource spread way too thin. Some folks have moved away, and I don't even know everyone anymore (though I have met my newest direct neighbor - thank God for pets as conversation starters!) I still see a few people individually, and stop to chat briefly, but it's just not the same.

That said, I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting that either!

 

[dish rag]

In Orlando I rarely see any of the neighbors. Most I wouldn't know them to see them. In Ontario I would say 3/4 of the niegboirs will talk and socialize. Usually it's the men.

 

[Summer2018]

And if so, what do you think of them? I feel bad, cuz we don't socialize w/our neighbors very often. But, they are the opposite extreme...they have to socialize every second they're outside. Now with summer coming, I just dread it. They all have big backyards, but no one goes there. They all stand around in the middle of the street, parents talking w/their beers, kids running around w/no one watching them. We live in a very nice neighborhood, but I feel likes its a row of frat houses. When we're outside, I like spending time with my kids. And, unlike them, I don't let my 2 year old just run around down the street on her own without knowing where she is. I feel like they think we're rude, but DH & I work all week (only one other mom works) and we like spending our family time together as a family when we actually have some free time. I really have no desire to stand around making small talk. They set up 'street activities' for everyone on our block, even though we have 'subdivision activities' for the exact same thing. Anyway, just kindof annoying and felt like venting and seeing if anyone else has a similar situation. Or, if you're like any of my neighbors and wondering if you think I'm rude.

We live on a main road. We know our next door neighbors on both sides and a couple houses down. We don’t socialize, however, we are all helpful in emergencies. If push comes to shove, we help each other out. As far as socializing, we do that with our friends.

 

[sonnyjane]

Agree that this zombie thread is actually still relevant.

I don't like to socialize with neighbors - AT.ALL. I wait to take the trash out or check the mail until it's dark and I feel I'm safe from unwanted encounters haha.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

We don't talk to any of our neighbors, and if I see one outside where they would be in direct line of me having to say hi and chit chat with them as I'm headed to my car (no driveway, and I hate going down the alley to the garage, so I usually park in front of my house), then I sometimes even wait a minute until they leave and go to my car. Granted, there are only 4 houses on our side of the street, and none have kids our kids' ages, and we face the sideyard of the people across the street from us, so it's not like we have many people to avoid, but we still don't make an effort whatsoever past a smile and wave every once in a while. 4 of out the 6 houses are older retired people, and the last house there is a boy probably about 6 or 7 years old. He runs down the street every once in a while, but he mostly just stays in front of his house or goes across the street where there is a corner house with a kid around his age and plays with him. (the cross-street there ends in a t-intersection at our street in front of their house)

My lack of interacting with neighbors is a direct result of my traumatic experiences with our next door neighbors in our old subdivision. They were psycho-crazy people who wanted to be BFF's one minute and act like they never met us before the next. Too many incidents to recount here, but the thought of living next door to them the rest of our lives was the ONE BRIGHT LIGHT of having to short sale our house when we finally had to throw in the towel and move out of state for work in 2009 when the economy was crashed.

In our first house, we had an empty lot that was the people kiddie-corner behind us's extended backyard, and we were good friends with the guy on the other side of us - he was a fireman with a big boat we would take out on weekends when he wasn't working. That was a lot of fun!

 

[Antaniasmom]

We've never been overly friendly with our neighbors but my DH used to help shovel people out in the winter. I had the occasional convo with elderly lady across the hall regarding how much our landlords sucked. Now we moved south (almost 6 months ago) and people seem more friendly here but everyone still keeps to themselves. Now that summer is coming and pool will be open, I'm curious to see what happens. It won't make or break anything for me though.

 

[aprilgail]

I am so glad we live in a very social neighborhood- there is like one family who are jerks but the rest are all nice friendly people. Can always count on one of them to run in and feed the cats while we are away and get our mail and we do the same for them. 3 of my neighbors have my house keys and alarm code and I have theirs. I would hate living in a neighborhood where people were not friendly. At Christmas we all get together a few days before for a holiday gathering.

 

[Tattylou]

I have a pretty social neighborhood. We do a big Easter egg hunt and a Halloween party at the park in the neighborhood. There's no alcohol at either of those events and they are for the whole neighorhood. Then, our "bus stop" (about 5 or 6 families) has several parties through the year at various people's houses - St Patrick's Day, End of School, a holiday thing, a few summer fire pits, etc. We have a fun bus stop. The kids all get along and 5 mornings a week we are out there chatting while waiting for the bus. It's not every weekend drinking in the street with unsupervised kids, but it's pretty social. My BFF lives about 5 houses down and we socialize all the time - she's practically family though. I'm generally a social person though - I like being around people and talking to people.

 

[Pooh2]

We have some neighbors that we walk with, share meals, watch their kids and hang out.
We check in on the elderlies, who used to keep an eye out for my kids when they were young.
The newer neighbors do not seem too interested in that type of community and tend to keep to themselves.