Do you ever let your kids take a friend?

[kdonnel]

My son is bringing one friend and my daughter is bringing three friends on our next trip to WDW. We rented an RV and decided to fill it up. As part of the invitation process I told each parent that they would need to buy the park admission(I bought discounted 25th Anniversary DVC tickets), send money with their kid to pay for park meals, and contribute a breakfast worth of food to the RV.

This will not be the first trip we have brought extra kids but we certainly don't always bring extras. We had a beach trip where we brought 4 extra girls but no extra boys.

I have found that the kids tend to be extremely well behaved, mine and the extras, on the trips. They know that if they are a pain, we probably won't take friends in the future.

Should be an interesting trip with 4 sixteen year olds, 2 thirteen year olds, and 2 forty three year olds.

 

[amylevan]

My son is bringing one friend and my daughter is bringing three friends on our next trip to WDW. We rented an RV and decided to fill it up. As part of the invitation process I told each parent that they would need to buy the park admission(I bought discounted 25th Anniversary DVC tickets), send money with their kid to pay for park meals, and contribute a breakfast worth of food to the RV.

This will not be the first trip we have brought extra kids but we certainly don't always bring extras. We had a beach trip where we brought 4 extra girls but no extra boys.

I have found that the kids tend to be extremely well behaved, mine and the extras, on the trips. They know that if they are a pain, we probably won't take friends in the future.

Should be an interesting trip with 4 sixteen year olds, 2 thirteen year olds, and 2 forty three year olds.

I'm not sure if you are an experienced RVer or not, but a word of warning, a lot of RVs say they'll sleep 8, but in reality it would be a very tight squeeze. (For instance, ours is advertised as sleeping 10 - but no way would we ever put more than 6. It would require putting the dinette down and pulling the couch out every night and having no room to get around it without crawling across.) Not a big deal if you are aware of that and plan to spend all of your time in the parks anyhow, but I just wanted to give you a head's up. You might want to bring a tent along with you and have some of them sleep in there. And definitely require everyone to shower and use the bathrooms in the Comfort Stations. (Which are amazing at FW, by the way...)

 

[mom2rtk]

My son is bringing one friend and my daughter is bringing three friends on our next trip to WDW. We rented an RV and decided to fill it up. As part of the invitation process I told each parent that they would need to buy the park admission(I bought discounted 25th Anniversary DVC tickets), send money with their kid to pay for park meals, and contribute a breakfast worth of food to the RV.

This will not be the first trip we have brought extra kids but we certainly don't always bring extras. We had a beach trip where we brought 4 extra girls but no extra boys.

I have found that the kids tend to be extremely well behaved, mine and the extras, on the trips. They know that if they are a pain, we probably won't take friends in the future.

Should be an interesting trip with 4 sixteen year olds, 2 thirteen year olds, and 2 forty three year olds.

You are far braver than me.

 

[kdonnel]

I'm not sure if you are an experienced RVer or not, but a word of warning, a lot of RVs say they'll sleep 8, but in reality it would be a very tight squeeze. (For instance, ours is advertised as sleeping 10 - but no way would we ever put more than 6. It would require putting the dinette down and pulling the couch out every night and having no room to get around it without crawling across.) Not a big deal if you are aware of that and plan to spend all of your time in the parks anyhow, but I just wanted to give you a head's up. You might want to bring a tent along with you and have some of them sleep in there. And definitely require everyone to shower and use the bathrooms in the Comfort Stations. (Which are amazing at FW, by the way...)

Yeah we know it will be crowded. We are going at the very end of May, I think the kids would rather sleep on the floor than in an unairconditioned tent.

The one we rented has a bedroom for the wife and I(who cares about the rest?), two bunk beds for the two boys, two girls plan to sleep on the over the cab bunk, one more girl on the jack knife sofa, and one on the dinette. We have let everyone know that they will be using the comfort stations as there is no way we could all use the RV bathroom. The plan is for two Ft Wilderness days, two long park hopping days from opening to closing, and two water park days with the evenings either at Ft Wilderness, Disney Springs, or Resort hopping. Two of the girls going have never been to WDW.

The RV dealer very close to our house has one just like what we are renting. We go by there every couple weeks and everyone stakes out their spot.

 

[5DisneyNuts]

I wouldn't bring a friend along but I have 3 same-sex children fairly close in age so it gives us an opportunity to bond as a group. I understand the dynamics are different for an only child. I would definitely consider bringing a friend then. That isn't the OP's situation. I would be concerned bringing a friend would drive the wedge bigger between my daughter and her siblings. Only the OP knows her family.

Our family only vacations created great memories that only we have to share. In the age of constant technology connections, family only moments are very important to me.

If one of my children was going to be that dour during vacation, I would try to see if there is an underlying cause. Missing 4 days of the beginning of HS would have been incredibly stressful for me. Have you asked her opinion on this? Is she involved in the planning? I also agree that choosing between 2 BFFS will not end well.

I'm just wondering if she feels as though her feelings weren't taken into account and the trip is being forced on her (not in a bratty snowflake way). If that is not the case and it is just teenage drama I wouldn't let the drama impact the family unit.

Good luck with whatever you decide! Teenage years don't last forever

 

[Eastern]

Short answer: no.

Careful answer: Before you ask them, take them on a day long family outing. We did this with my son's friend (early teens) and although a nice kid, he wasn't fun. His mother gave him $100 for food and rides and he saved it all and spent it on a single shooting game. The rest of the time he complained about not wanting to go on rides and was a general PIA. I considered that day time and money well spent.

It may also throw off family dynamics when your child and the friend want to only do things together or disagree on plans.

 

[seashoreCM]

I would say, don't allow DS or DD to bring a friend along for the big Disney vacation but promise (or do it in advance) take the friend on a short close to home trip.

Lots of friendships come to an abrupt end when something goes wrong and the trip does not happen as planned. There was at least one thread here (a few years ago) when an invited friend decided not to go at the lat minute leaving numerous loose ends. And, how would the host family handle things if there was an emergency such as the parent was needed back at work? It is as if both sets of parents would need a written contract to cover such eventualities.

My gut feeling is that the hosting family should up front all of the costs needing prepayment.

Disney hints: http://www.cockam.com/disney.htm

 

[KristinU]

Careful answer: Before you ask them, take them on a day long family outing. We did this with my son's friend (early teens) and although a nice kid, he wasn't fun. His mother gave him $100 for food and rides and he saved it all and spent it on a single shooting game. The rest of the time he complained about not wanting to go on rides and was a general PIA. I considered that day time and money well spent.

It may also throw off family dynamics when your child and the friend want to only do things together or disagree on plans.

Oh yeah, this for sure. I can't imagine anyone would consider asking along a friend that they don't reeeeally know that well, though. For us it would have to be someone that we've all spent extended time with and know we all get along. Plus, I can't imagine asking parents that I didn't know that well if I could borrow their kid for a week. For us, it helps that DS's friend has been in scouts with DS for years and DH and I were leaders for two of those years. I chaperoned summer camp one of those years where DS and this friend were tent mates for the week. The parents know we are scout trained, CPR trained, and just in general we know one another very well. These guys sleep over a lot with one another and do stuff with one another's families. I suppose the older they get, the less you may know the parents, though.

 

[Eastern]

Oh yeah, this for sure. I can't imagine anyone would consider asking along a friend that they don't reeeeally know that well, though. For us it would have to be someone that we've all spent extended time with and know we all get along. Plus, I can't imagine asking parents that I didn't know that well if I could borrow their kid for a week. For us, it helps that DS's friend has been in scouts with DS for years and DH and I were leaders for two of those years. I chaperoned summer camp one of those years where DS and this friend were tent mates for the week. The parents know we are scout trained, CPR trained, and just in general we know one another very well. These guys sleep over a lot with one another and do stuff with one another's families. I suppose the older they get, the less you may know the parents, though.

You know, we had known this kid very well, for 10 years! A neighbor and frequent guest. But I just never saw his vacation personality until that day. It made me realize what I would be in for!

 

[bigbabyblues]

We haven't, and we probably won't.

One thought, you said your oldest two kids are opposites as far as one wanting to ride everything and one wanting to ride nothing...do you know how the friend feels? If she is opposite your daughter, that could be a problem.

 

[busymommy2pink]

I wouldn't flinch at bringing a friend and we have! I see all these comments about valuing family time and while I get that, I don't see how adding a friend takes away from that. You are all together, and a typically moody teen is that much happier because she has someone to hang out with and relate to. Win win if you ask me. I also see all my kids (and mine for that matter) closest friends AS family. I treat them as I would my own. So to me, it's still a family vaca, just with an extra body.
I wouldn't leave a teen home for being moody, we all go through that phase, spending time with them and loving them unconditionally a part of our job description.

We are bringing my "nephew" next trip. He is my friends son and one of my youngest's best friends. We are paying for the Disney part(room, food, tickets), mom offered to pay the flight. He will bring his own spending, but we will undoubtedly end up paying for some stuff too. We aren't well off by any means, but enjoy our vacations and save really hard for them. As long as taking a friend fits in our set budget, we go for it. As a side note, if a friend offered to take them at our expense I would do it as well. I wouldn't expect them to pay for my girls.

We are also currently planning a sweet 16 trip to Hawaii for my oldest. Youngest will be 13 then. We are budgeting for them each to bring a friend (hence planning for 5 years lol).

 

[rhiansmom]

We have taken friends before but talked to the parents before the kids and we covered all the costs. The kids each brought their own spending money.

 

[vinotinto]

I read the whole thread. Very interesting. Lots of good advice here. My kids are not old enough for this, but I can see my 8-year old asking to bring a BFF in the future.

I personally would only do this if I knew the kid really, really well and would know that he/she would get along (no drama!) with the rest of the family. The idea to bring the kid on a local weekend outing is brilliant. You may get to see a side you may not have seen before.

Also, I would need to be good friends and really comfortable with the kid's family. You need to be prepared to take care of that child if anything happens.

P.S. - I would not expect someone to pay $1000+ for their kid to join your vacation.

 

[Lothlórien]

We are going over Labor Day week (9/3 - 9/11), so kids will miss 4 days of school. We have 3 (14, 12, 9 at trip time). We've been debating letting the 14 yr old bring a friend. We are staying at AofA, so that's fine for space. My concerns are the following:

• it's so expensive, 5 day park hopper, 2 days universal, plane ticket, food...would any parent even do that??
• they will be missing 4 days of their freshman year of high school....would they do that if not THEIR family vacay?
• I've already booked package and dining. I'm afraid to mention it and she is able to go but then if I add her to the package, it jacks up our prices (since prices have since gone up). My TA says they won't, but people here say they might. But, I don't want to add her to see if the prices will go up and then she can't go. Does that make sense?

I'm sure my daughter would have SOOOOO much more fun if a friend went, but is it just too unrealistic to think a parent would allow this? Do others do this? I don't know that I would dish out $1500 for my kid to do this, but I know a lot of her friends are quite wealthy....

And there is also the simple truth - that it would probably increase the cost of our already extremely expensive trip by at least a little, since we'd probably pay for a few of her things......

Sorry so long.....Thanks!

We have allowed ours to bring a friend. We covered food and the room. They were young and shared meals, so it was fine as we would have purchased the meal anyhow. The friend's parents paid for souvenirs, airfare and the park ticket. The friend missed 6 days of school. The friends were happy to pay for it and were grateful that we invited her along.

I know you didn't ask about this and I am not trying to stick my nose where it was not asked to be, but I would be concerned about my other two kids getting their feelings hurt for not asking one of their friends to come along. However, with adding the one friend, you get an even number of people so nobody has to ride alone.

 

[hooch11bear]

Our DD has taken a friend with her the past three years. This will be the fourth. Before even mentioning it her friend, we told the parents first what the costs would be. Once they said ok, then my DD asked her to go with us. We asked for them to pay for her airfare and tickets into the park. Food was on us. We typically go to the beach first and drive up to Disney. We are usually gone for 17 or 18 days.

It doesn't hurt to mention it to the parents. If they say no, it's no big deal.

 

[5kidsmommy]

Nope, has never happened and never will. We are all kind of solitary people in my family. We go to a weeklong conference every year and occasionally we have shared a suite with other kids and it's never gone well. I should say though my kids are numerous and close in age (see my signature) so it's really never been feasible, necessary or wanted.

 

[PetePanMan]

we have brought friends on two separate occasions - once my daughter's friend and once her long-time boyfriend. All was good. Having said this, my daughter has since broken up with her boyfriend and her friend moved away for university and they no longer stay in touch. My wife and I joke that it is the WDW curse. (or blessing in the case of the boyfriend )

 

[ZoZo]

I haven't read all of the posts, but they got me to thinking . . . Is there any way to do a sort of "trial run" with your daughter's friend coming along on an overnight weekend trip to some local destination? You could get a feel of how it might go that way. Not sure if that's feasible, but might give you some insight before you commit to asking DD's friend along.

 

[BubMunkeyBles]

Yes, I would. We own DVC and part of the reason we got it was to share with others. I did a lot of trips with my friends growing up so I guess it just seems normal for me.

 

[asheleycs]

When I was 15, I got to bring a friend to WDW. It was me, my mom, and my brother, so a fourth wasn't a big deal. I have such amazing, wonderful memories of that trip.

We haven't brought a friend to Disney yet, though I'm considering it for my teenager this year. We've brought friends of all ages on all sorts of trips--beach days, Great Wolf Lodge Weekends, all kinds of things. Of course, tonight I have 7 children in my house, and only 3 are mine! This is pretty typical for us, and I know it's not for everyone. I don't think our income is really any different than most of the families we know, but we always pay. It's just one of the ways we try to be giving to others.

I would probably not bring a friend on a WDW trip until teen years, and then only if I knew the kid well. It sounds like OP has made the decision to not bring anyone, but I would encourage others to think about it. In the right situation, it can be a trip of a lifetime.