Do you ever let your kids take a friend?

[ChimCher-ee]

As for many of the questions you ask -- don't do the other family's thinking for them. Ask them, lay out your parameters ("You'll only have to pay for such-and-such") and let them decide.

We brought DD's friend on a 2+-week-long road trip last year. DD was 11 at the time and is an only child, and the friend is a lifelong friend from nursery school. They got along fine, DH and I did not have any parenting issues along the way, but... We did lose a little of our daughter to the experience. Once you have two kids who can pair off and do some things more independently, that's what they're going to do. If it works out for you, maybe expect that your child and friend will want some separate experiences, rather than a trip solely filled with family time.

 

[Madame]

I might consider it for DD if my DH couldn't come on vacation with us. DD feels left out of play often since my DSs are twins with common interests etc. If my DH was along though that would push us to a party of 6 & a whole other room category.

As far as costs go, I too would ask the parents to pay for airfare & park tickets, food & room would be on us.

As a teacher I can't vacation outside the school calendar & wouldn't allow my kids to miss school for vacation, but that's just MHO.

 

[Aliceacc]

We don't, for a number of reasons.

One, we tend to stay Deluxe, which can accommodate a maximum of our 5 family members.

Two, we can't afford to take someone else's kid and I would feel very uncomfortable asking someone to fork over that kind of money so we could take his kid.

Three, and this is a biggie: WDW is all about family time for us. It's about the kids getting along, spending time together, connecting in a way that's hard to do in the day to day hustle and bustle of home. I don't want any of that bonding spent on someone who isn't one of my family members. I don't want the addition of a friend to pull one of my kids away from the other two, or for one of them to be resentful because the friend that was invited came for a sibling, not for him/her.

 

[Tattylou]

I'm an only child and we always took my cousin (one year younger) with us on vacation as my companion. It was easy because she's family and she was super close with my parents and I. Those are still some of the best memories for my cousin and I.

 

[nooneshome]

We've brought friends a few times and for the most part it was great. This all happened when we were going to WDW two or three times a year and it was getting a little stale. It was fun watching someone enjoy their first WDW trip. It recharged the family having someone new with us. The friends we took were never going to get a chance to go to WDW as a youth and the parents we very grateful for us to take them.

Cost issues - for us this wasn't an issue. We took them during FD and we drive to WDW. We paid for everything except for souvenirs even though I think we did buy a few things for them.

Bad stuff - sometimes they would get homesick and they would be on their phones talking to mom too much. You have to let this pass or accept it. You can't tell a kid not to be homesick. For the most part the kids were well behaved and had a great time.

The ironic part is now I am trying to hone in DD's trip with her friends. I will probably be the one driving them and doing most of the planning. I would only have to pay for myself and my share of the room.

 

[scottmel]

We let my DD bring a friend two years ago. After years and years of it just being the three of us, she was thrilled! We asked the family to pay for the Disney and Universal tickets but we paid for meals, hotel and plane fare. My Dd had a great time. We've been back a few times sine and it was just the 3 of us again and she was ok with that. If you have the means to afford bringing a friend do it. I know it was a trip of a lifetime for my DD's friend so in that case very worth it .

 

[NinaBella]

YES, YES, YES! Consider it! We have brought other children to Disney since my daughter's 5th birthday. She also has gone on several trips with her friends. The only difference... we live an hour from Disney World. We also have friends who accompany other friends on cruises. One in particular goes on a cruise once a year with her best friend. It's almost like their annual cruise tradition. Because we are a competitive cheer family, we travel with other families to other states often. Teen girls always have more fun when they have a friend. Busch Gardens is 15 minutes from our home. My daughter is invited so often she is the only one in our house that has the annual Busch Gardens/Adventure Island pass.


I recall going to Disney when I was 14 (when we lived much farther away). My uncle lived about an hour from Disney so he took us. I was so BORED there with my little cousins only riding baby rides. Finally my dad let me walk around by myself setting a meeting time and place to return. I enjoyed being on my own so much better than with my little cousins. I still have the ring I bought from the gift store on that trip walking around by myself. I would have loved to have a friend with me.


Since you have not asked a friend yet, make sure you itemize the cost for bringing the friend. I wouldn't offer to pay 100% but I would offer to pay for certain items such as food, hotel, and maybe a few other items. I look at it this way, that family may be able to afford one person to go to Disney and give their child that experience, where they may not have the time or desire to take a family trip there themselves. My three boys do not like theme parks, so when my daughter gets invited, I always let her go. It's less expensive for her to go with a friend and pay for one than paying for additional people in my family to go with her.

 

[Momtomouselover]

I am considering letting my son bring a friend with us on our next trip. However, I would be bringing them by myself and the boys would be 11. My son is an only child and loves vacationing with us but always misses his friends. I think this would allow him to make some nice memories. If I decide to do this I will offer to foot the bill except for spending money, however, we will be driving and not flying and these kids still prefer kid food so it's not terribly expensive for meals. I am concerned about the friend getting homesick, I would want a power of attorney just in case, I am also concerned about them wanting to go off on their own. I would let them get in line by themselves and wait outside or at a set area (if I'm not riding ) but I'm not ready to say "see you in a couple hours" like we do at home. We have known this kid and his family since the boys were 3 so I am very familiar with the kid and know that he would listen if I needed him to and that he isn't a troublemaker, etc. I think knowing the character and behavior of the friend is very important. Oh, and this would be over the summer so no missed school. I guess our case is very different than yours. I would say if you know this friend very well, know they can be trusted and little drama (yours will probably go off by themselves), and it doesn't bother the other kids I would say go for it. As for paying, I suppose that depends on you but I would definitely work that our clearly with her parents before involving the teens.

 

[momimouse27]

Yes! We have done it many times. My daughter's best friend is very close to us, she is almost like another daughter to me. I have a 22 yr old daughter, a 19 yr old daughter and a son who is 13. When we go-and sometimes my oldest doesn't get to because she is a senior in college and works-the girls pair off anyway. I know mine are older than most on here, but we have been bringing my oldest daughter's bff with us since they were 14/15, and they have been going off on their own anyway since about 14.

Sometimes we pay, sometimes she pays. What we usually do is when we decide to ask her to go, we lay out what we can pay for and then let her mom know so she can decide if they can afford it. We have to get two rooms even without the extra person, so there's already that. Sometimes we offer to buy the ticket and she pays for her food, sometimes we say we'll get the food and she can get the ticket. Last trip, we paid for all of it. Her parents are going through financial trouble, and my daughter's Disney trip was her choice for her senior trip from graduating high school. Her senior gift was the trip and her best friend getting to go along. They had a blast and had so much fun together. I value our family time as well, but we do take trips without her friend when I can't afford it, and we always plan to meet up for meals and special events. Honestly, it doesn't feel right when she not with us!

 

[joanchris]

Our school's aren't bad at all for missing time. We've done it every other year since 1st grade. I asked my daughter before booking if SHE was OK missing 4 days in week 3 of her 1st year of HS.

Our schools were ok as well in middle school, once high school hit it was a very different world! The state guidelines on how much time can be missed is very strict, the disney trip alone wouldn't be too bad, but if the students has an illness that would cause them to miss 3 more days it would become problematic. Plus, HERE, the disney trip would not be an "approved" absence, leaving it at the teacher's discretion to allow make ups for any work missed, homework, quizzes, even tests.
We ended up homeschooling for high school, mid 9th grade (when my child missed too many days because of illness and doctor appointments she could have been given Fs for no reason other than attendance) so we've still been able to take trips at times other than school breaks.

 

[AshleeH]

I would consider it - but only with one friend of each of my boys. I can barely handle having some of their friends in the house for two hours before they're driving me crazy with questions or behavior. But their best friends, yes, I could handle a week with them and would invite them if it worked out and their parents were willing to pay. My husband went to Disney with a friend and loved it - my parents let me invite kids on a lot of vacations and they are great memories, so I eventually would like my kids to have that experience as well. At the same time, we only get one vacation for one week every year, so we go all out and enjoy the family time.

 

[slbgnb]

Thank you all very much for you input. I really appreciate all the different sides to it. We've decided against it. While it does seem like a great idea for an only child, it gets more complicated when you have 3 kids. And, it does seem like most people offered to pay for most, if not all of the cost, which we are not in a position to do. Again - thanks so much! A lot of factors I didn't even consider came up, which is what I love about this place.

If you can't enjoy a family vacation without bringing in outside help then...well I don't know what to say. And that's rare.

This was most definitely never said. No need to post something like this when that is not at all what the post was about.

 

[mindeola]

I think everyone is going to be so different. Glad you came to a conclusion that works best for your family.

When we invite our kids friends anywhere ( movies, out to eat, vacation) we pay, so we have never invited anyone to Disney before. Until now! We are bringing my son's girlfriend. They are both finishing their sophomore year of college and turning twenty in May, so I suppose it is a little different. I am so stinking excited because she has never been. My hubby is a grouch about Disney in general and he is even excited to experience it through her eyes as a first timer. My son said she asked how much her part of the trip was and he knew without even asking me that we were paying for it all. She was surprised, I think. She will be a relatively cheap date- she eats kids meals mostly.

 

[RustManFan]

we took my daughter's boyfriend when they were seniors in h.s. Their graduation gift and my DS's birthday gift...

We were camping at FW and we took the auto train to Florida but drove home to NJ. Pete was a great addition to the driver team! I paid for the transportation and the campsite and most of the food but he had to have money for his ticket and some of the food. Of course my kids had to pay for any extra food in the parks as well. We didn't do any table service meals so food wasn't as expensive.

It was also nice when my son and I went off to Daytona that my DD can someone to go to the parks with.

 

[Shmily01]

We took another teenager with us this past September and maybe I had it built up too much in my head but it was miserable. She was homesick and didn't really enjoy all of the things that we as a family had come to enjoy about Disney. I was too worried about if she was enjoying herself to enjoy myself. But that's just who I am. Thankfully we get a "do over" this year with just the 4 of us!

 

[luvgoing2disney]

We have some good friends and they are soon taking their 40th trip down. For most of their trips, they carry someone with them and I have to appreciate the reasoning.

Their own kids are grown now, but they take a child who is family or friend or some acquaintance that might never get the change to visit a Disney park. They joy they get from watching that little guy or gal the first time they see the castle is worth every penny.

These are not "rich" people, in monetary terms, but they are rich in many other ways.

 

[MrsDuck]

I went to WDW with a friend in high school. We didn't miss any school and I paid for my own park admission. We are FL residents so it wasn't a huge deal to go up and back in the same weekend.

Given the OPs vacation, I don't think I'd send my kid along. A lot of missed school, a lot of $.

 

[jpalasky]

We are taking my sons best friend with us next month. We asked them to pay for tickets and flight. We are covering everything else. We are not on dining plan but winging meals this trip. We are not fussy people. We are also staying club level so snacks will be available for them. We are on a CM's discount so we are saving money. They do not know when we are leaving so I am so excited. My son is a only child so to have someone besides us to ride rides with will be great. It's my sons bday present also.

 

[thewesterberg]

We have an only child and a couple of years ago I won 4 PH to DLR, plus a night at an Ayres Hotel. I talked to the mom of one of his friends and they were excited for the opportunity for their son to go with us. The boys were around 10 years old at the time. They insisted on paying for his airfare (we were able to get cheap tickets on Allegiant from our hometown to Vegas) We spent the night in Vegas, then went to the Hoover Dam the next morning before driving to Hollywood. Spent the free night at the Ayres hotel, went to the beach, and then checked into VGC with our DVC points. Went the next day at the parks, spent another night at VGC, and then drove back to Vegas the next morning. It was a short trip but it was so much fun having a friend with for our DS to go on rides, play games in the car, hang out in the pool, plus we got to put to use that 4th free ticket! In this case it really didn't cost us much more than what it would have been for the 3 of us to since we already had the rental car, the hotel rooms, and the free tickets.

 

[KristinU]

Reporting back in on this thread since we just arrived home from our trip with DS's friend. The verdict is that we'd totally do it again in a heartbeat. The boys had a great time and it was fun to see the parks from a new perspective. We knew the friend had been to WDW once before when he was really small, but it had been a long while so everything was pretty much new to him! His family also doesn't travel much, so yesterday was the first time he had seen some of the big animals in real life - pretty cool stuff to be able to share with a kid!

What we hadn't anticipated was the fact that since DS has been pretty much raised Disney, it was hard to change the mindset with some of the basic questions like "what was the name of that ride we did with the car?" or "that space one - where was that at?" By the end of the week he was getting the 4 parks pretty straight, but it is totally second nature to us and we needed to remember that navigating and putting it all together was new and overwhelming and some patience and understanding was definitely in order. On the flip side of that was that DS had a great opportunity all week for some leadership and guiding.

What I would do differently:
1. Have a pre meeting to talk about travel basics. Again, it is second nature for us and it never occurred to me to tell a 12 year old to bring a carry-on bag for the flight with a few boredom busters and creature comforts. DS takes care of that stuff on his own at this point and his friend didn't have a bag at all for carry-on, which was fine for security of course, but I think he would have been a little happier with a few of his own books or puzzles or something. I'd also talk through the security process ahead of time to manage expectations. This was the third time he's ever flown. He did absolutely great, but a heads-up on stuff would have been better.

2. Have room inspections every day. These guys are scouts and are used to a daily straightening and inspection at camp. Not sure why it didn't occur to me to do the same until the 3rd to the last day! They commented on how great it was to return to a neat room once we started doing it - we should have been doing it all week! (we stayed at a villa without housekeeping, so nobody making their beds for them every day)