Do you ever let your kids take a friend?

[Magpie]

If I'm inviting another child for the sole purpose of making my child happy, I'm paying. Would I pay $1500, and have my child miss almost a week of HS so that she could go to WDW with another family? Not a chance.

We've taken friends on vacation with us, my kids have gone with other families, and just spending money was sent.

I would not be comfortable asking another family for all of that money to benefit my DD.

But, the real question is, would you be offended if the parent of one of your child's friends said, "I'd like to invite your child along on our Disney trip. Would you be able to cover the cost of the airfare and park tickets? We'll pay for food and lodging and anything else that comes up."

 

[gorkt]

That would stretch our budget to take another kid, plus I feel WDW is family time. I would take a friend to another vacation destination that is less spendy but not WDW most likely.

 

[mjkacmom]

But, the real question is, would you be offended if the parent of one of your child's friends said, "I'd like to invite your child along on our Disney trip. Would you be able to cover the cost of the airfare and park tickets? We'll pay for food and lodging and anything else that comes up."

I'd never be offended, but I'd probably say no, depending on the cost. However, I might let my child use her own money, or pay half. But having 5 kids, I wouldn't feel right spending $1000+ for 1 child to go to WDW.

 

[slbgnb]

My daughter has not actually asked to bring a friend and has no idea we are even considering it. So, A - I wouldn't be bringing her friend because she wants me to and B - I wouldn't necessary only be asking said friend to come just to make her happy. I'd hardly leave her home....she's a typical grumpy teenager.....I can't imagine just not taking her. That's absurd in my opinion. I sat all 3 of my kids down before choosing this trip and made sure they all 3 really wanted to go and that this was the vacation choice everyone for sure wanted. All 3 have said yes indeed....this is what they want to do this year.

My guess is we won't do it, just because it will create more of a headache that I care to take on. And I do find it hard for another parent to be willing to spend that much and miss school. Just thought I'd get some thoughts. I definitely would not be offended or find it offensive to take/bring a kid and ask the parents to pay. At least for the big chunks. But, everyone obviously has their own thoughts....

Thanks again for the help though!

 

[robinb]

When we brought another child with us I always thought it was more for me than my DD or them, LOL!

 

[Disney Dad ADL]

When I was growing up, I went on vacations all the time with my best friend's family and he would come on our family vacations as well. Grand Canyon, Hawaii, Vegas, etc. I thought it was great, though we were (and are) very close. Thirty years later, his parents still refer to me as their "third son," and I sometimes bring my kids to see their "grandparents" (they still live in the same city as their real grandparents). I thought it was great having him along, but I don't know what it is like from the parent's perspective. It probably depends on what your relationship is with your children's friends and their family. Family time is certainly important, and I certainly don't fault anyone for wanting time just with the family though. On the other hand, having a lifelong friend means something too. And, you will get a chance to know this friend a lot better, and I think it's nice to get to know the people that are important in your daughter's life.

I don't know they worked the finances, but I wouldn't personally see a problem or take offense if someone asked me to cover my child's expenses. I would discuss with the other family in private and not in front of the kids though.

As for taking off of school, that's obviously a big issue, but the friend's parents can make that decision.

If there's a way you could speak the friend's parents to get an idea of their thoughts first before presenting the idea to your daughter and her friend, maybe that would be better.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I, personally, wouldn't do it. I'm happy to have DS bring a friend along on day trips (including water parks, amusement parks, etc.) but I wouldn't do it for an extended vacation, for a few reasons:

1) Disney is family time for us, and I think it would change the dynamic a lot. I might actually enjoy having an even number for a change, but I also might get overly nostalgic for "just the three of us" stuff. I'm not sure. (We also usually spend a couple of days at Disney and a couple visiting relatives in Florida, so that might be awkward for the friend.)
2) the cost - even though I would have no problem with the kid's parents paying for airfare and park tickets, I might feel funny taking money for a lot of optional stuff (or making decisions about restaurants based on someone else's budget)
3) the chance that the friend would get sick or hurt - I would feel awful enough if I spent my week at Disney in the hotel room because my own kid got sick. If I was there with a random kid while the rest of my family was having fun in the parks, I'd do an Oscar-worthy job of being little nurse sunshine, but afterward, I know I'd regret taking the friend.

(DS has brought my nephew on a 2-night trip close by, and none of that bothered me. But I think I felt differently because it was family, less expensive, and not as far away.)

The other big factor - she has 2 BFF's. I don't know which she'd choose. One is wealthier and more like to be able to afford it but parents are less likely to let her miss school - the other not as wealthy and maybe more likely to let her miss. Super confusing!

This would stop me in my tracks even if the above didn't! It could ruin the friendship with the one not picked.

One other thing. For me growing up as one of 3 kids, I loved when my parents allowed one of us to bring a friend to amusement parks. Whether it was my friend or someone else's, that meant we had an even number and everyone had a ride partner. It's a silly thing, I know and I might be strange but I always stressed about one of us having to ride alone, lol.

That was really mature and unselfish thinking for a little kid! I don't think it's silly or strange at all.

 

[cedricandsophie]

My adult daughter has Down syndrome. We have brought her best friend, also disabled, on trips with us for years. DW, Disney cruises all over the world , Aulani, and lots of other little trips. She has had experiences all over the world that her parents never afford for her and our daughter gets a companion which makes her very happy. I know we are blessed that we can afford it but it has enriched all our time together immensely.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Nope - have enough problems with the grumpy family after a few hours in the heat so I'd hate to add a friend to the mix. My 16 year old daughter told me if we are going this summer, this is the last time she is going because she'll have her drivers license this fall and can stay home next time and take care of the cats.

I'm cool with that!

 

[mickeymom629]

I let one DS bring a friend twice and DD bring one once (3 separate trips). If I had to do it again, I wouldn't! And I still can't believe I did it 3 times. My oldest DS and DD were always the ones on the family vacation that were the 'grumpies'. I thought a friend would help, but it didn't. My kids were just as grumpy as they would have been. And, because we were taking people who hadn't been, it was a commando vacation to let them see everything.

We drove, so there was no extra cost in travelling, and they may have given us money for a ticket, maybe food?, but I can't remember. We stayed DVC.

With my DDs friend, I had planned for us to stay at Hilton Head using DVC points and that's what we invited her to. Of course, I ended up changing it to WDW vacation, especially since it's only another 4 hours of driving and the friend had never been. I had wanted it to be a surprise for all the kids (including my 4) but the friend's mother told her daughter and mine one day, and told them not to tell me she told Ugh!! DD finally told me because she felt so guilty - but it may have been when I finally told her the surprise .

My kids are now in their 20s and no longer friends with the kids we brought.

NO! Do not bring a friend into your world of magic That's my opinion.

Eta, not to mention that it's another responsibility you will have, in addition to another person who might get sick, hurt, etc.

 

[mkla2015]

I think it depends on your relationship with the friend's parent(s). Growing up I was an only child and so was my best friend- I went on vacations with her family and she went on vacations with mine. We were always at the other's house so our parents were forced to get to know each other. I think because our parents had some sort of relationship that it was comfortable on both sides to let their child go with the other family.

I don't think there is anything wrong with approaching the parent and just throwing the offer out there "we're planning a trip to Disney, we'd love to have your daughter come along if she'd like but we'd need you to pay for her blah blah blah"

 

[Murron]

But, the real question is, would you be offended if the parent of one of your child's friends said, "I'd like to invite your child along on our Disney trip. Would you be able to cover the cost of the airfare and park tickets? We'll pay for food and lodging and anything else that comes up."

This is exactly what we did. However, I do admit that the parents of these children were "comfortable." We paid for all food and had a DVC timeshare. It was an unforgettable experience as well. It was 2004 and our boy/girl twins were 16 and each bought two friends. That was SIX teenagers! (I must have been on drugs....) They were great and we rented our first grand villa at OKW. We also got the very last flight out of MCO because we were there for hurricane Frances!! My cell phone was burning with worried parents. But we got the last flight out and all was well with the world. This all being said, I don't think I'd be comfortable with younger child(ren). These were good teenagers who we've known for years and obeyed every rule we laid down before and during the trip (and we had some list!).

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

I brought an extra child once, but it was for a trip specifically for DD's 13th birthday. If you do invite, think about what expenses you are willing to cover and give the parent that information when you present the idea. In my case, I was paying for the extra child, so when I contacted the parents, I was clear that I would be paying for travel, room, tickets, and food. I only asked that they provide spending money. My feeling was that this was my child's gift, and it wasn't fair to ask them to come up with large amounts of money with only a little notice.

The other thing I did was ask the parents before I even told my child, and I let them know that if they said, "No," neither my child or theirs would ever know. I wanted them to make the decision without having to worry about how their child was going to react if they didn't want her to go.

I would also make sure you know the temperament of the child. I recently chaperoned an out of town field trip, and I learned how difficult it can be to travel with other kids.

 

[NMAmy]

We did it for several years from the time dd was about 13 until she was..well, I still pay for her and her husband (and now new baby) to come along, as well, so I guess for more than 10 year now. We only had one year that there was some awkwardness between dd and her friend. Every other year was great. We always pay for all expenses--then we never felt like we had to curtail our activities or meals to mesh with the guest's budget. I had them bring money for souvenirs and that was it.

I would never invite a guest along and not pay the expenses. I think it just makes everything less awkward. And, yes, dd was an only child so bringing a friend for her was fun for all of us.

 

[DIS_MERI]

We are hoping DD13's BFF gets to go with us in October. I will pay for everything, at least partially because DD13 asked for it as her birthday and Christmas present for the year (not that it will come anywhere near covering the cost, lol). We are planning to do MNSSHP and Wild Africa Trek, and she will go on those as well. DD13 is certainly not an only child, but she's the only one who volunteered to give up her own money to pay for a friend Technically, DD9 asked if her Dad could go, and I would pay for that as well, but he said he couldn't (I think he was worried his girlfriend would be jealous).

 

[momtoleasawav]

Last year I took my sons friend on a cruise, this year my daughter's friend to Disney. I like to do I now that some of my kids are in college.

 

[Minniemoo15]

I would not - Disney trips were when my sisters and I were forced to get along and be friends...I think a big part of the reason we are so close is because of our family vacations. It adds a different dynamic when someone else tags along.

I love traveling with other families who have kids similar age, but even then I still want a lot of time alone with just our core family to make some memories.

 

[jerseygirl82]

I would not - Disney trips were when my sisters and I were forced to get along and be friends...I think a big part of the reason we are so close is because of our family vacations. It adds a different dynamic when someone else tags along.

I love traveling with other families who have kids similar age, but even then I still want a lot of time alone with just our core family to make some memories.

Just to offer a different perspective on this, I loved our family vacations when my brother (middle child and only boy) got to bring his bff along. The bff is much younger than his older brother, had a single mom, etc so didn't do many family vacations of his own. When he was on our trips, he was the buffer to any sibling fights and helped us all get along.

I think it truly depends on what kind of Disney family you are. We are DVC owners who take the trip every other year, if not once a year. We also do beach vacations, long weekends, etc, so there is plenty of family time going on. Bc of our DVC ownership, I plan to let DD bring a friend or two for a girls' weekend for her 13th birthday. She will have her friends time, while mom, dad and little sister get to enjoy time that we might not necessarily get otherwise. I also like the idea of sharing the magic with dd's friends who might not otherwise get the experience.

 

[Sevey13]

The friend is your guest but not your expense. You mention worrying about how expensive it will be for her, but unless you are going in with the expectation that you and not the parents will pay the difference, this shouldn't be an issue. Obviously there will be unforseen things that may pop up, but hopefully the friend's parents will handle that.

Disclaimer: I am not a parent. I cannot speak to how it might be to handle all these kids running around with you. But I see no theoretical problem with it and I would let my theoretical kid take a friend if the theoretical kid's theoretical parents were aware and appraised of the cost.

I would also not be the one who tells your kid and her friend that the friend could go. I would have the other parents be the ones who say it. That way if it falls through, you aren't the one who said 'yes' and then, in kid language, arbitrarily changed your mind

 

[dachsie]

I usually host my niece for a week in the summer and the last few times she has brought friends. I ended up not getting to really spend any time with her because they holed up in a room together. I brought them to different places and they took off together. A little different situation since this is your child, but I think what I am trying to say is, this is your family vacation and its going to be harder and harder for you to get her to want to spend family time as she grows up in these teenage years. I wouldn't do it unless that doesn't bother you.