Do I just not get it?

[Daisy Chick]

Have you sought any medical attention for their condition?

I thought that at first, too!

I think the OP is saying she has pets, but no kids.

 

[mommiepoppins]

My sis and I are having a little disagreement, and I want to know if I really just don't understand.

She has 3 children, ages 15, 11, and 6. Sis and her hubby are going to California in May, and I am watching the kids. This will be the first time her youngest has been away from her overnight. So I thought it would be fun to take the to Great Wolf Lodge for 1 night. We have one only 2 1/2 hours away from home. Well, sis is having none of it! She said that the kids have to stay home, that in order for her to go on vacation she needs to know they are "safe." And that "you don't understand because you don't have kids." My children have all been furry and bark. So apparently unless I promise not to take the kids away, she won't go on vacation.

Am I being unreasonable to want to take the kids away for a night while there parents are out of town? My parents would also go so they would have Grandma, Grandpa, and Auntie to look after them. What am I missing here? I think she is being way overprotective, she thinks I don't understand because I am not a parent. Opinions please

I feel the same way as your sis. I am crazy just like that I need to know where my kids are going to be. I am sure it is nothing against you . She and I are worry warts

 

[DMRick]

I never thought I was overprotective, but I guess I must have been. I don't know what the place is where you would be taking the kids, but I do know that (in my mind anyway LOL), no one watches my kids as well as I do, especially near water. I had three, and three was hard to keep track of. I also am not sure I want them in car driving so far if I was out of town. If something happens away from our home town, it's just that much more complicated. I'm actually nervous when I take the grands places, that something will happen, because I know I would never forgive myself, and I think I actually over watch them! So, while I understand your sister's point, if you aren't comfortable with her babysitting "rules", then you are prob better off suggesting she get someone else to watch them.
We all get to take care of our kids how we seem fit..and if this is her way, I just think it needs to be respected. It doesn't mean someone who is ok with it, isn't as good a parent..it just means your sister has her own way of looking at it.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think she is feeling left out!!! All the other family is going on to have fun and she won't be there.

Do you guys often go out together vacationing with extended family or will this be a first???

 

[MichelleVW]

You know, I have always thought this too. These overprotective parents I'm sure think they are better parents than those of us that are laid back, but isn't our job to raise independent children? If we're always worried about what might happen and don't let them experience things for themselves, is that healthy?

ITA!! My sister and her husband don't have any kids but they LOVE having my kids over. They have taken the girls, to fairs, parks, the beach over night all without me.

To the OP, I think your sister is a little crazy.

 

[krcit]

Wow, I guess I'm in the minority here because I can see the sisters point. I would not be comfortable with my brother(I don't have a sister) taking my children 2 1/2 hours away to a waterpark while I am on vacation. That doesn't mean that I don't trust my bro or don't want my kids to have fun without me. It just means I'm not comfortable with them going on a long drive to an unfamiliar place when I'm not there. I would not expect them to stay home the whole time of course, but 2 1/2 hours way is just a bit far away for me.

 

[GoofyBaby]

Ok, I feel better. I know sis tends to be overprotective. Her older kids have gone away to chruch camp, the oldest has gone on his class trip to the East Coast. But last year was the first time she let the oldest go with me overnight. And it was with our parents, to Mackinaw City, which is only a 4 hour drive from here. And he called her every day. Twice.

Sis does tend to worry when we go anywhere on vacation. She worries when we drive thru the mountains, she worries when we fly. She is worried about her California trip because they will be doing wine-tastings, and she is worried about driving thru the hills there after the driver has been sipping wine.

I really would like to do something fun with the kids, but I guess I will have to keep it close to home. Maybe a day of go-carts and mini-golf. Thanks for all of your replies. I don't feel so mean and crazy now.

Isn't the point of vacation to get away from worry and stress? Sounds like she needs to learn how to relax a little. I don't see how she could enjoy her vacations with all of that worrying. And if she's really worried about the driver sipping wine, couldn't she find someone else to drive or else get a cab? To me (and this is just my opinion), worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere.

 

[Glinda64]

I haven't read all of the responses, but I agree with your sister. If the youngest is spending their first time away from the parents, I don't think a road trip is the way to go. Sorry....

 

[Glinda64]

Wow, I guess I'm in the minority here because I can see the sisters point. I would not be comfortable with my brother(I don't have a sister) taking my children 2 1/2 hours away to a waterpark while I am on vacation. That doesn't mean that I don't trust my bro or don't want my kids to have fun without me. It just means I'm not comfortable with them going on a long drive to an unfamiliar place when I'm not there. I would not expect them to stay home the whole time of course, but 2 1/2 hours way is just a bit far away for me.

I agree!!

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm overprotective. I realize this. Depending on the child (is he hyper, etc) I might not let him go, either.

 

[shirleyb]

This is just a question, because I don't get it. For those of you that have responded that you wouldn't be comfortable with a 2 - 3 hr road trip, forget the water park issue, what is your concern with the road trip??? That I just don't get. Don't you ever take your kids anywhere by car?

 

[BuckNaked]

If you want to ruin the relationship, this is great advice. If you want to maintain a loving relationship with your sister, I would not even consider taking her children without her permission. Even though she is probaby afraid of worst case scenarios that probably would never happen, that is her perogative. They are HER children.

I totally agree with this, i.e., don't take the kids without the your sister's permission.

Having said that, I don't understand why she wouldn't want you to take them, and I would probably not keep them again due to trust (or lack thereof) issues.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Personally I think you are nuts if you cancel your plans! Take them to the lodge they will love it. I would do one of 2 things 1. call her bluff, say I'm taking them if you don't like it stay home and 2. don't tell her and take them anyway , what is she going to do fly home and save them? She should be darn grateful someone is watching her kids for a week and be thrilled with anything you want to do with them short of bungee jumping off a bridge or sky diving!
Take them and have fun.

What is she going to do when the oldest goes to college.

I have a sister and I have taken her son to Disney 3 times for a week each time and she has had my kids fly to her house for vacations also. When we have each other's kids we know that they will take care of them and don't micromanage the time or activities.

I would strongly recommend that you do not do this.

 

[Liberty Belle]

This is just a question, because I don't get it. For those of you that have responded that you wouldn't be comfortable with a 2 - 3 hr road trip, forget the water park issue, what is your concern with the road trip??? That I just don't get. Don't you ever take your kids anywhere by car?

Yes, but quite possibly she doesn't feel comfortable with their driving. I don't feel comfortable with my dad's driving and so I am very nervous when he drives my kids anywhere (and I limit the amount I let him).

Also, it's not just there and back. They will be spending time there and sometimes people with kids just don't realize situations kids can get into.

 

[DMRick]

This is just a question, because I don't get it. For those of you that have responded that you wouldn't be comfortable with a 2 - 3 hr road trip, forget the water park issue, what is your concern with the road trip??? That I just don't get. Don't you ever take your kids anywhere by car?

Yes, we did take them by car. And I know stuff could happen when I'm driving. But Iwe were also used to three kids yaking it up, and still paying attention to the road. I think it's harder when you aren't used to it..or the fighting that goes on in the back seat (or at least it did in ours). Maybe it's just a control thing. I have complete control of my driving..but I don't everyone elses. Not saying I wouldn't trust my sister..but I trust myself even more.
Or maybe I was just crazy, as some suggested, because I wouldn't want to be away on vacation, and have my kids out of town. Now that I know it's a water park, I would be even more nervous.

 

[ilovejack02]

This is just a question, because I don't get it. For those of you that have responded that you wouldn't be comfortable with a 2 - 3 hr road trip, forget the water park issue, what is your concern with the road trip??? That I just don't get. Don't you ever take your kids anywhere by car?

I answered that I wouldnt mind if certain relatives took my kids on a little road trip, I will say that I would be uncomfortable about the whole water park issue. BUT i still worry about him when we arent together. Its just my deal, but its my issue, not his and its not something that would make me freak so bad I wouldnt let him go. What if something happened and i wasnt there to take care of him is what i keep thinking, YES i know he could get hurt anywhere even at school.
Like I said though I do let him travel some with folks i trust, but no one is going to be jumping on a plane with him anytime soon lol. I think that would put me over the edge. I just dont want to put all of my silly worries on my child, its not fair to him. Some rules you make up for their own good, but when you are saying no just because you might worry too much, thats not fair. ( Im still not all about the water park deal LOL)

 

[Becky2005]

This is just a question, because I don't get it. For those of you that have responded that you wouldn't be comfortable with a 2 - 3 hr road trip, forget the water park issue, what is your concern with the road trip??? That I just don't get. Don't you ever take your kids anywhere by car?

I don't think I would have a problem with the road trip if it wasn't an overnighter in a hotel. That to me is the crux of it, it's spending the night in an unfamiliar location at a waterpark hotel (I know you said to forget that part of it but my hunch the fact that it IS a waterpark is making the OP's sister more nervous!).

This is the first time the 6 year old has ever been away from his parents overnight and now he's going to be in a completely unfamiliar area for sleeping too! The 6 year old may not do so well with that!

If since I live near Chicago, someone wanted to watch my children for a week & wanted to take them into the city for one of the museums, that would be fine. That would definitely be a 2-hour road trip by default with traffic (took us 2 hours to get somewhere that should have taken 40 minutes once!! ). NOW...if they wanted to take the kids & stay overnight in the city...I'm not so sure I would be comfortable with that part of it.

 

[WilmaBud]

IMHO, your sister is not crazy. I wouldn't want anyone taking my kids to a water park without me. As someone said previously (and I've always said), "no one watches my kids like I do." If I were going away, I wouldn't want to have to worry about them going to some water park with my sister or anyone else.

I think it's crazy how many people are saying she's crazy. Just because you don't agree with someone's parenting choices doesn't make them crazy.

You need to respect your sister's wishes. She just asked you to watch her kids while she's away. She didn't ask you to take them anywhere to entertain them. I wouldn't be offended either. I'm sure it's nothing personal -it's just her parenting style. You don't have to agree with it to respect it.

 

[WDWFAN9]

I have to say that I agree that your sister is being a little overprotective, but they are her kids and you should respect her wishes. But I'd also try to convince her to be a little more flexible about this. The kids aren't exactly toddlers, and you'll have the grands there too. It sounds like it would be a lot of fun, but only if your sister agrees.

OP, you mentioned that the youngest has never been away from Mom for an overnight. I'd suggest you schedule one soon so that the little one has a chance to get used to a night with you before May.

Good luck and enjoy the time with the kids no matter where you end up!

 

[ilovejack02]

I don't think I would have a problem with the road trip if it wasn't an overnighter in a hotel. ). NOW...if they wanted to take the kids & stay overnight in the city...I'm not so sure I would be comfortable with that part of it.

Now i know this is putting you on the spot a tad, but what do you think would happen to your kiddies in a hotel with say their grandparents? Is it just that you would worry too much? Im just curious, if we should learn to say yes even though we worry. ( not flaming just thinking outloud lol)
I get the waterpark deal, that would freak me out too lol, and i wouldnt let my 18 yr old DSS take my 4 yr old DS4 to spend the night out at a hotel even though I know that he would take really good care of him. DS18 has stayed with ds4 overnight here at the house and i was worried of course, but it was fine.