Do I just not get it?

[Missy1961]

I'm the aunt without kids who watches the nieces & nephews when mom & dad go away. I would respect what my sister's request. It could be that she is over-reacting. I don't know her. But I don't know you either. Maybe she thinks it's too much for you & grandma & grandpa to take them there. I'd stay close to home.

 

[poohandwendy]

Do I think it is overprotective? Yes. But...and most importantly...they are not my children. It's not up to others to decide what is and is not overprotective for other peoples children.

It almost seems like some people want to spite her or 'teach her a lesson', why is that?

To the OP, if you can't agree with the childcare issues your sister has, you should just decline and ask her to find someone else. I agree with you that she is overprotective and I would LOVE it if someone took my kids there, but really, they are her children and if she is making a mistake, it's her mistake.

I cannot agree with the advice of just doing whatever you want when she has specifically requested you don't take her children that far and overnight. It's really not up to any of us to decide she needs a parenting lesson.

So no, I do not think you are unreasonable to want to take them there, but not without permission and it sounds like she isn't giving it.

 

[taximomfor4]

I personally wouldn't want you to...perhaps something else, but not anything in the water. I like to watch my own kids (especially the ones under age 12 or so) myself, when they are around water.

Is there something else you could suggest instead? She might be more willing to approve something that is not in water???

Beth

 

[ilovejack02]

Nope. Nothing happened. overall, I do trust my parents with my kids...if they're not with DH & I, they're with grandma and grandpa. They take them out to the mall, dinner, chuck e cheese, whatever. I'm just not comfortable with my kids going out of town w/anyone but us. I'm sure once they're older and in school that may cause issues of me being overprotective. And that trait I did inherit from my parents. They were overprotective w/me as well. And its not that I dont trust them, I don't trust other people...sure anything can happen anywhere anytime, but still. I just wouldn't be comfortable with it.

Well if your parents were overprotective of you, then im sure they understand you not being wanting them to go out of town.
I will say that just because I let my kids go out of town, doesnt mean im 100% comfortable. I do have worry moments and I def wouldnt let my folks hop on a plane and take DS4 to Europe or Mexico because I would totally be freaked. But a night or two to the mountains or small road trip I think I could handle. I would still worry though.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sis' is wacko--if she trusts you enough to care for them while she jaunts off on vacation..that should be sufficient.

If she is so concerned--she can take her kiddos on vacation with her.


The only one who doesn't "get it" is her.

 

[Missy1961]

Do I think it is overprotective? Yes. But...and most importantly...they are not my children. It's not up to others to decide what is and is not overprotective for other peoples children.

It almost seems like some people want to spite her or 'teach her a lesson', why is that?

To the OP, if you can't agree with the childcare issues your sister has, you should just decline and ask her to find someone else. I agree with you that she is overprotective and I would LOVE it if someone took my kids there, but really, they are her children and if she is making a mistake, it's her mistake.

I cannot agree with the advice of just doing whatever you want when she has specifically requested you don't take her children that far and overnight. It's really not up to any of us to decide she needs a parenting lesson.

So no, I do not think you are unreasonable to want to take them there, but not without permission and it sounds like she isn't giving it.

This is what I was trying to say, but PAW said it so much better. (I was in the middle of posting when my sister called. I'm watching her 2 girls this weekend....). Is she being overprotective? Probably. But I would either respect her wishes or not take care of the kids.

 

[Sherri]

My sis and I are having a little disagreement, and I want to know if I really just don't understand.

She has 3 children, ages 15, 11, and 6. Sis and her hubby are going to California in May, and I am watching the kids. This will be the first time her youngest has been away from her overnight. So I thought it would be fun to take the to Great Wolf Lodge for 1 night. We have one only 2 1/2 hours away from home. Well, sis is having none of it! She said that the kids have to stay home, that in order for her to go on vacation she needs to know they are "safe." And that "you don't understand because you don't have kids." My children have all been furry and bark. So apparently unless I promise not to take the kids away, she won't go on vacation.

Am I being unreasonable to want to take the kids away for a night while there parents are out of town? My parents would also go so they would have Grandma, Grandpa, and Auntie to look after them. What am I missing here? I think she is being way overprotective, she thinks I don't understand because I am not a parent. Opinions please

I understand where you are coming from, but I am like your sister in that way. When dh and I went to Las Vegas this past summer, the only thing that kept me sane was calling them on their cell phones to know that they were okay. Noratic, probably, unreasonable? Most definatly, but its the way I feel. I panic and I can totally see how your sister feels.

 

[CinderellaIam]

I think your sister is crazy and she should be thankful that she has a sister that is willing to watch her kids while she goes on vacation. I would tell her that if she doesn't trust you with the kids then she should just stay home with them herself.

 

[VirtuallyMe]

I agree with just about everyone else...

Remind your sister that most accidents happen in the home. See if she will let you take them then- lol

 

[meandtheguys2]

Do I think it is overprotective? Yes. But...and most importantly...they are not my children. It's not up to others to decide what is and is not overprotective for other peoples children.

It almost seems like some people want to spite her or 'teach her a lesson', why is that?

To the OP, if you can't agree with the childcare issues your sister has, you should just decline and ask her to find someone else. I agree with you that she is overprotective and I would LOVE it if someone took my kids there, but really, they are her children and if she is making a mistake, it's her mistake.

I cannot agree with the advice of just doing whatever you want when she has specifically requested you don't take her children that far and overnight. It's really not up to any of us to decide she needs a parenting lesson.

So no, I do not think you are unreasonable to want to take them there, but not without permission and it sounds like she isn't giving it.

Well said.

Whether I agree or not, I would respect my sister's wishes for her kids. I know she would do the same.

Besisdes, it doesn't take a water park for me to enjoy the nieces and nephews!!!!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

No, it is not a bad thing. But when offered a solution (why don't you drive then and not drink), she said that that won't work either. So she has no solution, but plans on going anyway. So that makes me despicable? Color me confused. I used that as an example of how everytime she (we)go anywhere, she finds something to worry about.

Huh??? Go back and read what I quoted and my response. What I said is despicable...and I stand by it...is Hannathy's suggestion that you take your sister's kids on that trip WITHOUT HER PERMISSION and WITHOUT TELLING HER and knowing that she is against it. Throw in "unforgiveable" and "a betrayal" too. I wouldn't let a person who did that NEAR my kids again.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Huh??? Go back and read what I quoted and my response. What I said is despicable...and I stand by it...is Hannathy's suggestion that you take your sister's kids on that trip WITHOUT HER PERMISSION and WITHOUT TELLING HER and knowing that she is against it. Throw in "unforgiveable" and "a betrayal" too. I wouldn't let a person who did that NEAR my kids again.

That's a good point. You only get one chance to screw up with my kids. My SIL sent my then 7 year old son to a beach restroom that she could not even see from the beach. He had problems with his swimming trunk string, and some blessed mom was up there trying to help him when she wandered up. That mom will always be a hero to me (poor kid had an accident during the whole mess) and SIL has not been allowed to watch the kiddos since.

 

[KristinBelle]

I would tell her that she obviously doesn't trust you to watch them and you would feel more comfortable not doing it if she can't trust you. She needs to find someone else to remain housebound for a week while they have a nice vacation.

It is absurd.

I agree.

 

[rie'smom]

I think your sister is crazy and she should be thankful that she has a sister that is willing to watch her kids while she goes on vacation. I would tell her that if she doesn't trust you with the kids then she should just stay home with them herself.

I agree. If your sister is this overprotective,tell her to either take them with her or stay home. Doggone if I'll allow someone else tell me what I can or cannot do. Yes,these are her kids,so she has a say but it's your life and you have a say too. If she doesn't trust you,let her find somebody else.
There's just something too Freudian with way overproteciveness-maybe she didn't feel safe as a child or did she feel neglected? Being careful is smart but this behavior is not only showing her neuroses-it's the kind of distrust that her children may learn from her example.

 

[Becky2005]

Huh??? Go back and read what I quoted and my response. What I said is despicable...and I stand by it...is Hannathy's suggestion that you take your sister's kids on that trip WITHOUT HER PERMISSION and WITHOUT TELLING HER and knowing that she is against it. Throw in "unforgiveable" and "a betrayal" too. I wouldn't let a person who did that NEAR my kids again.

I agree! Heaven forbid something awful DOES happen and the OP did it behind her sister's back. Even if nothing bad happens & she were to find out about it, I wouldn't definitely never ever trust that person again to so much as take them out for ice cream because I wouldn't trust that was where they were really taking them, that they wouldn't allow the kids to sneak other things in their presence, etc...

IF the OP will not take the kids without being able to take them to resort, then she needs to be upfront with her sister NOW, so that her sister can make alternative arrangements. I would rather the OP speak up and say it's not going to happen without being able to go to the resort than make her sister think she is just fine with the arrangement & then sneaking the kids somewhere.

 

[shirleyb]

I agree. If your sister is this overprotective,tell her to either take them with her or stay home. Doggone if I'll allow someone else tell me what I can or cannot do. Yes,these are her kids,so she has a say but it's your life and you have a say too. If she doesn't trust you,let her find somebody else.
There's just something too Freudian with way overproteciveness-maybe she didn't feel safe as a child or did she feel neglected? Being careful is smart but this behavior is not only showing her neuroses-it's the kind of distrust that her children may learn from her example.

You know, I have always thought this too. These overprotective parents I'm sure think they are better parents than those of us that are laid back, but isn't our job to raise independent children? If we're always worried about what might happen and don't let them experience things for themselves, is that healthy?

 

[MushyMushy]

Honestly, I think it is unreasonable, but I can kind of see why she feels that way. However, if I had so little trust in my sister and parents, I wouldn't be using them for sitting! I'd probably be somewhat offended if I were you.

 

[Daisy Chick]

I don't think you are crazy. I think she is being overprotective, but that's her prerogative.

I wouldn't start a war over it by refusing to sit and I sure wouldn't take them without her permission.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I'd be thankful that my sister was comfortable telling me her concerns. I love my nieces and nephews, and it is a privilege to spend time with them, and an honor to do my sibs (or even friends) the favor of watching their kiddos.

I guess it is just a different way at looking at family, concerns and respect.

 

[Taylor]

My children have all been furry and bark.

Have you sought any medical attention for their condition?