Okay, don't get mad at the messenger here.... I am trying to help provide information and ease the frustration you have experienced.
You are breaking the rules when you use your daughter's PP to make purchases. It is HER pass. SHE is entitled to the discounts, not you, not her friends, not her siblings. So... when you did what you explained above with the jacket, the Cast Member was 100% correct. Someone else (you) was using your daughter's discount. This is not allowed. It does not matter that she is standing right there - YOU were clearly making the purchase. You need to hand your daughter cash and have HER buy whatever it is with HER discount.
As for the parking, you are 100% right. If your daughter is in the car (with her AP with her) SHE is entitled to free parking of whatever vehicle she is in. However, to show the analogy to shopping, she cannot point to another car and get that car free parking. (SHE has to be in the car. SHE has to be the one making the purchase. SHE is the one with the discount/parking privileges.)
Hopefully this helps ease frustrations. The CM was correct in denying you your daughter's discount when paying with your credit card. You got some pixie dust if they actually ran the discount for you. If I were you, I would be very happy. You got a nice CM who did you a favor.
- Dreams