Mickey'snewestfan
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2005
- Messages
- 4,716
I'm the parent of the world's easiest 9 year old. I use a fair amount of values clarification with him, but in general I don't find that I need to "discipline" him much beyond explaining where I'm coming from and why I want him to do X or not do Y.
Today DS and I went to an amusement park, we took his friend, Jack, as a birthday gift. In the car on the way there the kid used the word "D$#N" about 6 times.
Then when we were sitting in the car waiting our turn to enter the parking lot when Jack leans over the seat onto the passenger seat and started grabbing things like the book I'd brought to read, and the bottle of water I'd brought and throwing them into the back of the mini van. I turned to him and said "why aren't you in your seatbelt? Please put it back on now!" His reply was "Oh, I decided I wanted to sit in the front seat and those things were in the way." Then, as we were driving into the lot I said "Jack, in my car we NEVER take off our seatbelt until the engine is OFF. If you ever do that again it will be the last time you ride in my car. Got it? In addition, when we stop the car I need you to find my water bottle and book for me -- I brought those for the park and I do not appreciate you throwing them."
Then as we were pulling into the section where we were parking he said "Oh, D%#N, the Hispanic section." I asked him what he meant and he said "There are lots of Hispanic people, and I don't like Hispanic people". We had a conversation about why I found that offensive, to which he replied "you say the same things as my mother".
Finally, we were heading towards the gate, walking down an empty section of grass and my son spit in the grass. I reminded him that I don't like it when he spits in public, he apologizes and Jack says "Look at me" and spits across the grass.
I stepped in front of him and looked in front of your eye and said "Jack, I know this is your birthday gift and you are a guest, but I need you to know that there are certain things I don't tolerate. We've been together an hour and you've sworn repeatedly, unbuckled your seatbelt, thrown my belongings, made racist statements and now you've done something I specifically said not to do. This is your last warning, I need you to straighten up and fly right, because I WILL turn around and take you home, and when asked I WILL tell your mother why we're back at 2 in the afternoon." He looked kind of sheepish and said that he didn't think spitting was that bad. I replied "I'm not upset about the spitting, I'm upset because when you do something I specifically asked DS not to do in front of you, it's unfair to him and rude to me. Your mom has told me repeatedly how smart you are (true she talks about it all the time) and I've spent enough time with you to know it's true, but today you aren't showing me your intelligence at all. I need you to stop, think, and make the right choices."
He nodded and we went on into the park. I have to admit that I was at this point dreading the rest of the day, but apparently what I said worked because he did shape up and we had a lovely day.
So, did I overreact? Under?
Today DS and I went to an amusement park, we took his friend, Jack, as a birthday gift. In the car on the way there the kid used the word "D$#N" about 6 times.
Then when we were sitting in the car waiting our turn to enter the parking lot when Jack leans over the seat onto the passenger seat and started grabbing things like the book I'd brought to read, and the bottle of water I'd brought and throwing them into the back of the mini van. I turned to him and said "why aren't you in your seatbelt? Please put it back on now!" His reply was "Oh, I decided I wanted to sit in the front seat and those things were in the way." Then, as we were driving into the lot I said "Jack, in my car we NEVER take off our seatbelt until the engine is OFF. If you ever do that again it will be the last time you ride in my car. Got it? In addition, when we stop the car I need you to find my water bottle and book for me -- I brought those for the park and I do not appreciate you throwing them."
Then as we were pulling into the section where we were parking he said "Oh, D%#N, the Hispanic section." I asked him what he meant and he said "There are lots of Hispanic people, and I don't like Hispanic people". We had a conversation about why I found that offensive, to which he replied "you say the same things as my mother".
Finally, we were heading towards the gate, walking down an empty section of grass and my son spit in the grass. I reminded him that I don't like it when he spits in public, he apologizes and Jack says "Look at me" and spits across the grass.
I stepped in front of him and looked in front of your eye and said "Jack, I know this is your birthday gift and you are a guest, but I need you to know that there are certain things I don't tolerate. We've been together an hour and you've sworn repeatedly, unbuckled your seatbelt, thrown my belongings, made racist statements and now you've done something I specifically said not to do. This is your last warning, I need you to straighten up and fly right, because I WILL turn around and take you home, and when asked I WILL tell your mother why we're back at 2 in the afternoon." He looked kind of sheepish and said that he didn't think spitting was that bad. I replied "I'm not upset about the spitting, I'm upset because when you do something I specifically asked DS not to do in front of you, it's unfair to him and rude to me. Your mom has told me repeatedly how smart you are (true she talks about it all the time) and I've spent enough time with you to know it's true, but today you aren't showing me your intelligence at all. I need you to stop, think, and make the right choices."
He nodded and we went on into the park. I have to admit that I was at this point dreading the rest of the day, but apparently what I said worked because he did shape up and we had a lovely day.
So, did I overreact? Under?
) but it sounds like you've got things under control.
