Okay...here is the intro...I will edit and delete it later so it doesn't take up so much space...Help me decide if I should keep going. I have many more chapters done...but I need real feedback from my Peeps.
Thanks in advance.
Jessie walked past the oval stones that lay along the rivers edge. They called to her, encouraging her to pick one up. She immediately longed to run her fingertips gently across the surface of them. Slowly and purposely logging the transition of each divot as her eyes consumed the colors individually and then in speckled patterns.
Pink and black. Pink and black. Pink and black.
Pink and black. Ordinary colors. Colors seen on every newborn girl to leave a hospital and each black cat to grace a Halloween evening. Pink and black . So non-extraordinary that a person may not even notice their union.
Yet when paired
amazing. Effortlessly transforming an ordinary rock into a mystical gem. Monetarily no value may be given to this pink and black rock but to Jessie it was priceless. Together, they created the vision of cotton candy sprinkled with licorice. Of long ago days, where diners were bustling with ponytails, poodle skirts and leather jackets. Pink and black together was magic. It was the complete collusion of strong and soft, warm sunsets and cool winter mornings.
It was her eye for this contrast and internal compass that pulled her to these rocks and also to Ben.
Ben, who was so much her opposite and yet grew with her to higher peaks than she had ever thought they could achieve. Ben, who asked for so little and yet gave the world in his touch. Ben who would trace her lips out of passion and become instantaneously her protector
holding her into the evening as the darkness brought out her insecurities and fears. Ben, who brought her back to herself, after being lost her whole life.
Ben.
Just Ben.
Her Polaris. The first star that directs you into the night sky. Ben, who held his ground with her and held her to him when her instinct was to flee. Ben who would not give up on her, on him, on them.
Smiling softly to herself, Jessie stood up and gathered two speckled wonders into her pocket. She would place them in the dining room when she got home. The room they laughed in, dreamed in and believed in. The place they did not eat in, but instead cherished in.
Where meals became a journey each evening. Where food was not consumed for caloric value
but nourishment of their beings.
They would make their dinners together
laughing
giving value to each leaf of lettuce
every ounce of steak. Their nights were about each other and the vacations they longed to take. The conversation was not about world politics and debt that worried them
but about the places and beauty the world would soon give them. Their meals were another extension of their lives. They cherished the details in the steps to their destination.
That was the same if it was reveling in the deep purple of Eggplant Parmesan with Vodka penne or being mesmerized in the subtle hint of mesquite in the burgers they grilled. It was exactly the same in their walks around their tree lined neighborhood and the short skips up the steps of Versailles. Together they saw beauty. Nothing less would be accepted. Nothing more was desired.
Jessie continued her walk, watching the waves as they grew stronger, lapping further up the rocky shoreline. She realized the storm would hit her in a fury of rain if she did not hurry back to her car. She zipped the front of her beige windbreaker and began the jog back home. She loved this stretch. It always seemed to her that the 2 miles out to History Cove was so long. Her body did not resist the distance, but her mind protested each and every day, without fail.
Leaving her house meant leaving where she felt closest to him. Leaving the touch of cologne that still hung in the air in their bathroom.
She knew this because throughout the day she would find herself back in the master bathroom, regardless of where she had been previously in the house. She would just go in, close the door and sit on the bathtubs edge waiting. Waiting and listening to her shallow breaths
hoping that she would not miss him. Hoping he would return during a slow exhale, not a rapid inhale. So sure he would come back and she would hear the familiar call of his voice when he searched for her throughout their home.
He would have found her. She never had any doubt because he had found her 19 years before. Before they had met, before he knew she really existed ourtside of his visions. He had seen her and fallen in love with her before their lips ever touched, before their hands ever held one another and before their eyes ever lingered.
She had faith he would come home and find her because he had called out to her in her inner being for nineteen years. He had guided her throughout the rough times by simply believing in her. She never could put a finger on what always told her not to settle. What told her that she belonged to someone, to something.
She had felt the arms surrounding her in the evening hours when
plausibly
realistically
she was alone. It was in those alone moments that she knew
Simply
Completely
Just knew.
Ben had been in her soul her entire existence. He had nudged her to become a better Jess. Prodded her from a place where time could not be measured. Ben had always just been there. Ben was who she had rationalized her dreams with when all her friends had gone to bed. Ben was her light. He was her warmth. He was her mirror. The one that says it will be okay
that age did not reduce her worth. He held himself up so she could see her true self. That her value was there, even when she only saw the wrinkles in the mirror or felt the thickness grow in her thighs. He had done all this without ever uttering a word. He did this through his presence that was larger than life, even before she spoke his name.
Across the world, if only she could have believed
there was Ben. Same thoughts, same word choices
looking for the other half he knew was missing from his whole being.
Ben had found her by wishing. Wishing for love. Wishing for romance. Wishing for a soul mate. Wishing for someone to love and for someone to love him back. He had wished so hard his sleep had always been restless. On many nights he lay not wanting to be alone and dreaming of nothing. But on three nights in particular, he was comforted.
Comforted by the hope of a better tomorrow than today. Comforted by a woman who would never stop loving him and continually give him the reassurance of his greatness. Who understood his compassion and longed to walk beside him
Not in front
Or behind.
Just with.
Ben tried to reach her in those dreams and bring her to his waking days. He wanted her to know that he was searching for her. That he would never give up finding her. That she was his and he was hers. That destiny would unite them. That he had faith too. If she would just hold on and hold out for him. If she could just guide him to her. He needed her light as well to get through his darkness.
What Ben did not know
And Jessie could never have fathomed, was how they would unite. How a dream from 19 years before and an undeniable awareness of a presence, would come to fruition and change so many lives for the better. How a chance encounter would instantaneously alter thoughts, beliefs, vows and the very breath each tried to control. That a dream from the past would so clearly paint the picture of a future and give each of them a roadmap to a moment where they would be
Could be
Pink and black.
Not separate
But together.
Pink and Black.
I hope everyone slept well and had the liason with Duran Duran in their dreams 
As far as everyone else HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU....HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR insert your names here....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUU
I literally stopped in my tracks when I saw it and of course made a big deal of it by telling my husband about you and your hobby of collecting Miss Piggies. While we were eating, I was contemplating whether or not I should buy it for you but my youngest son made my desicion an easy one after he vomited all over himself and me.
I ended up spending the $40 in my back pocket on 2 tee-shirts, one for him and one for me.
Have a terrific day.
i couldn't resist weighing myself this morning and i've lost 3 pounds since friday!!!!!! yeah, i know i shouldn't get too excited because people tend to lose weight faster at the beginning of their diet, but i'm very proud of myself. i've stayed around 1,200 calories for the past two days and drank lots of water. thanks so much for all the advice i've gotten from you guys - it's obviously helped! 
I know - what a shock! Maybe someday I'll start eating veggies!
