Diane's Journal to a Happier/Healthier me...encouragement welcome!

[Goofydiane]

Well, I tried to update my ticker, but it doesn't open anything but a white window. I'll try again later.

The good news: 122.5 lbs lost!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, that is good news on the ticker front! You are literally working your butt off, I am so proud of you.

I hear you on the life's choices thing. The grass is always greener. I am on that other side of the fence, thinking of the career I let go, the fact I am reduced to minimum wage retail positions and wondering if in the end, I did the right thing. I think we women tend to have these thoughts and worries more than men do!

I think you have done so much with your life. You own your own home, just did a ton of work on that, you clearly have a well paying job and career. I guess we just both need to be happy and proud of our choices, but its not easy is it?

In the end, you seem to be the kind of person that works hard, makes it happen for herself and never gives up. I'd say you are pretty incredible. There will always be things you don't have but the things you do have, by golly, you really made those happen for yourself. I can't say the same so from my end, I am majorly impressed with you!

 

[Goofydiane]

WooHoo! Had to come into work to get the ticker updated, but at least it is current now.

I put a very aggressive exercise goal into the challenge this month. 3,000 minutes! I haven't done a challenge in a long time and thought this would be some good motivation.

Food over the weekend wasn't the best choices, but I did work out daily, so let's hope the consequences aren't as bad as they would be without the exercise.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, good job getting your workouts in over the weekend. Don't worry about the food thing, long weekends are tough, you probably did much better than you give yourself credit for!

3,000 minutes: You can do it!!!

 

[Goofydiane]

Exercise Update: 315 minutes/3000 goal through 09/04/2008.

 

[Goofydiane]

I'll get to other journals sometime today I hope. I'm doing everything I can think of to keep me away from bad food choices, it's been a really tough time with that lately.

Exercise Update through 09/06/2008: 570/3000. My goal is 100 minutes per day of some sort of exercise.

 

[momof2minnies]

Diane,
I have been reading through your journals. Awesome job to say the least!!!!!!!!!

100 minutes per day is a great goal to get to your 3000.Volleyball sounds like a great addition to your plan-just keep burning those calories!

Have a great day,
Linda

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane good job keeping yourself too busy and occupied to eat. Its not easy I know. Well done with the exercise, you just amaze me with that. I really need to take a page (or maybe just a paragraph ) from your book with that exercise. Keep up the good work.

45 pounds to go, that is amazing. I am so proud of you!

 

[Goofydiane]

Thanks Mom and Amy....sorry for the lack of journalling lately, my computer at home is on the fritz! Arghhhhh!! I need to get a new one and because of kids going back to school and back to college the one I want isn't currently available in any store. How does an electronic store not have computers? and not know when they are getting any in stock?? To make it worse, of course the computer was on sale last week, and since they don't have any in stock I'm sure I'll miss out on the sale price. I've thought about just upgrading the memory, but my computer is 5 years old and isn't the fastest thing out there. I'm not a big fan of going to Vista, but outdated is outdated. I telecommute a lot and I can't do that until I get a new computer and even worse, I can't DIS until I get a new computer! I think that is more the tragedy. I have to DIS at work, when no one is around.

Exercise Challenge Update through Sunday: 1420/3000. I'm right on track for this aggressive goal.

Weight Update: I moved the ticker again! 1 more lb and I get to reward myself with a massage.

Life Update: Busy, busy, busy. I really enjoy playing volleyball, even though we aren't that good. I'm finding that I'm getting a bit of work/life balance in place with my new person learning more and more each day. The one nice thing about not having a computer is that I can't work at nights because I can't access anything. It's nice right now, but I'm going to get frustrated with it pretty quick.

I apologize for not getting into other journals, as soon as I have time at work over a lunch hour I will. I'm traveling to our northern campus today and tomorrow I have meetings all day, so hopefully by mid-week.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane: Another pound bites the dust!!!

I am so proud but not one bit surprised you are on point with your exercise goal. Again, you amaze me with how dedicated and ambitious you are with those exercise minutes!

Don't worry about journals, we aren't going anywhere! My computer died too, its off to be fixed, luckily dh had an extra laptop at work we can borrow. I have to disboard or its not pretty!

Keep up the good work.

 

[Goofydiane]

Finally got a new computer. Who knew finding the right computer was going to take so much time! Of course, it was right after school started so where I wanted to purchase it from was also out of stock.

I won't update the full issues over the past weeks, just admit that it has been a really tough month and I'm glad it is over in a few days!

I've been dealing with some migraines that are the result of a pinched nerve in my neck. It is finally starting to feel better, but it resulted in a few issues with workouts. I'm not sure I will make the exercise goal I set for myself due to the migraines, I know it will be close.

I really am struggling with food right now. What's weird is that I don't crave these types of food, I think it is more that I'm sabotaging myself and my success. I haven't been at this weight for over 10 years and I need to start understanding how the changes I'm making to my life affect my life. I'm not used to having attention drawn to me and I've never really learned how to be social with people - I am an introvert at heart and I feel uncomfortable in social settings. Really good explanation on why I'm still single!

I need to re-commit myself to this journal. It gives me the opportunity to write things out and work through frustrations/situations that happen.

My next weigh-in is Saturday and if I make this goal, my next goal reward is 1 lb away and it is a massage, so I'm hoping I make it!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, I think many of us who have long standing issues with weight get a bit off kilter when we lose and get into unknown, scary territory. Journaling will help. Keep thinking of how healthy being a good weight is. And remember, if you don't want to socialize, you don't have to anymore now than you did before. Follow what is comfortable for you. I struggle with this too, many days I literally am unable to leave the house. Being home for 15 years has made that much worse. And I know as I lose weight that will make me feel vulnerable. So I can really relate to what you are going through. But you can do this. You have come so far, nothing can derail you I am certain.

You can get through this bump on the road, we are all here for each other!

And I am glad you got your new computer!

Keep up the good work my friend!

 

[Goofydiane]

Thanks Amy!

Just getting back to the journal process has been better for me. I feel better the last few days than I have without a computer and a journal.

Tim and I are still going through our weight loss goal of 1 pound per week and he inspires me so much and encourages me with his comments of how I look. I notice differences in how clothes fit, but our deal is if I don't lose a pound a week, I detox and I hate the detox! He asked me tonight how I was doing and I told him honestly that I don't know - I feel better, but I'm not getting on a scale until Saturday. It is what it is and I know that if I'm 3 days away and not at the number then I'm going to start starving myself to make a number and that isn't good. And if I'm at the number early, then I may panic over not being able to stay there - so it is just better to not wonder until the time to get on the scale. One of the things I took away from WW's, just don't weight yourself more than once per week.

The good news - I bought a skirt 2 years ago from Jones New York Outlet that I just loved. Now, I probably haven't worn a skirt more than once or twice in over 10 years, but I just loved this skirt. The problem was it is a size 16 and I wasn't. I went ahead and bought it and a jacket and then hoped that I would get into it. It's been 2 years, but I finally got the skirt on Sunday night. Now, I wouldn't be able to breathe if I wore it, so I'm not ready to wear it yet, but more importantly the jacket fit as well! My birthday is in just over 2 weeks and my plan is to wear this skirt and jacket on my birthday to work.

I started thinking about the holidays and birthdays as well. My dad's birthday is in October and my mom's is in December and with my birthday as well, they always want to get together. I refer to the holidays as the the holidays from h*** because of everything that has gone on in the past. I am starting to understand that part of this journey in weight loss is also addressing emotional issues as well and part of that is my relationship with my parents. I need to address thing with them, I'm not sure how I'm going to do that, but I have been thinking about 1 way to make the first effort. Instead of buying a Christmas gift for them, I am thinking of giving them time - a meal or day a month in 2009. I know they would enjoy it, so I am now ensuring that I will be able to stick with it, regardless of anything going on in my life.

Wow....finally get a computer again and look at everything that has been stored up!

 

[Goofydiane]

Totally forgot to add:

I made my exercise challenge!!!

3010/3000. I didn't make it by much, but I made it and that is all that is important.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Great job making that exercise challenge Diane, I am so impressed and proud!

And that is wonderful that you are probably just weeks away from wearing that outfit. I love Jones New York, when I worked that was a favorite of mine! How far you have come my friend.

I think your idea of giving your parents the gift of time is wonderful. What better gift is there?

Just go with your heart on addressing some of this long standing family heartache/issues. Its never easy to do that but its always worth it. Look at it this way, it can't make things worse and it will probably make things better. Even if the "better" is only within your own heart and mind. I know your family has hurt you through the years and I wish I could do something to help! Just know that I am here for you always.

 

[Goofydiane]

Thanks Amy - the words of encouragement are one of the things that keep me going.

Good news on the scale today! Down 4 lbs in 3 weeks so I made the weight loss challenge and I'm celebrating by going to Red Robin! I know it sounds odd to celebrate losing weight by eating out, but I've been craving it for almost 2 weeks and in the past I would give in to the craving and this time I resisted and my trainer even said, go and enjoy it and then come home and run for a while.

Measured body fat today and I'm down again. I have never posted the body fat, but when I started this journey I was at 43.3% body fat. that's amazing to think that I was almost half fat...wow. Amazing and scary at the same time. I'm now down to 26.6% and the next goal is to get under 25%.

I also realized that I'm over 75% of the way to my goal for weight loss, wow, not that is getting scary. I do a good job working towards goals, but seem to get scared the closer I get and I am fighting that right now. I still see me as the morbidely obese person and now I think I just qualify as overweight.

The goal for this weekend is to not let the Red Robin meal get me off course, just enjoy that meal and get right back on plan.

I scheduled my reward massage for the 25lb milestone for next weekend! WooHoo!!

 

[Goofydiane]

What a crazy weekend and I think I offered up something that might come back to haunt me big time.

I made Turkey Chili today and have enough for 12 servings, 1 cup each. I love making this Chili because I then package it in containers and freeze it and eat it all winter long. This batch will last me until January and then I'll make more. It's a great WW option. I use the Bear Creek Chili mix and then and then add in Turkey, additional Chili Beans and additional Tomato's. Everything in it is on the Core Plan with the exception of one item in the mix. It has a little rice as a filler, but I don't think there is enough there once I add the turkey and then the extra beans and tomatoes. I tried to add it all up one time and I just can't remember what it was. All I know is that it is very good.

I'm frustrated as well, I was on the treadmill today and it was making some weird noises at regular intervals, so I knew something was up with a part of it. I was running and finally saw something kinda flap when it came up from below and saw it for a few times, so I finally hit pause and went and look, figuring that I had to cut a string or something, well, the tread is coming apart at the seam! You can see how the seam goes across and how it is splitting. It's under warranty so I'm not worried about it getting fixed, I'm more frustrated with now having to work in going to the club to work out instead of just being able to run at home.

My neighbors across the street may be moving. He works retail and to get his own store he probably needs to relocate. She is a teacher and needs to complete a school year due to other issues that happened last year, so while he and the kids may move north about 2 hours, she might stay here. She was talking about getting an apartment and I said..."I have a guest room that no one ever uses, just stay there". You know how you say things before you think them through. The minute I said it, I'm like, you enjoy your privacy and you just invited someone into your house for 7 months! Just shoot me. If it happens, it happens. I'll be happy to help them out and we are great friends. and having someone else in the house will probably keep me eating better than I do some of the time. I know she would head north each weekend and during all the other school breaks, so I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Wow Diane, 75% of the way there!

You are doing so well, I am super proud of you. Wow, that is really a bummer about the treadmill, I can very much understand how frustrating that would be! I hope they get it fixed soon. So aggravating, since its so new.

I do that all the time, open my mouth and then think, omg, can I take that back? You are a good friend, and I am sure it will all work out. The fact her husband and kids will be her main focus on weekends and holidays will be a very good thing.

I think celebrating with food is fine. I mean, the fact of the matter is that food is not something we can totally give up. So going to a place you enjoy and just making that work within your life and healthy program is a good thing. Its not feasible to never eat out again, so its wise to get a sensible handle on that now. And I love Red Robin too!

Keep up the good work my friend!

Amy

 

[DisDee]

Hi Diane, I haven't visited in quite awhile, so I figured I'd stop by and say hello!

I love the idea of making that huge batch of chilli and freezing it. Do you follow the recipe on the package or just do your own thing? I'm hoping we get some chilli weather here soon... today its supposed to hit 70.

You've done an amazing job with your weight loss and fitness quest. You definitely have a new lifestyle not just a temporary one like so many who lose weight do. Red Robin is a fun place to celebrate a goal, and its not like you eat there every night. We don't have any in our area, but when we visit our DD we sometimes go to the one in her neighborhood.

Keep up the good work and check in soon!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hey Diane, I leave on Saturday, so if I don't "see" you before then, I will try to check journals while I am goine. Otherwise, I'll be back by the 30th! Keep up your awesome work, I just need to be like you when I grow up! I am so proud of all you have accomplished.