Diane's Journal to a Happier/Healthier me...encouragement welcome!

[Goofydiane]

Life's been crazy and as such I haven't been posting like I should. I need to post, it helps to clean out the mind through a journal.

I've been doing pretty good staying on the Core Plan and making good food choices daily. I was in Atlanta for work this past week and managed to get workouts in each day and eat the best food possible. It is tough traveling because I love fresh fruit and you really don't get that much of it when you travel. Also traveling to the south is tough with food choices, I think everything involves bread and salts. I ordered steamed vegetables with my dinner and while they steamed the vege's, they then doused them in butter! I went out to dinner one night with the person I was traveling with and someone from our vendor and I asked to have my scallops grilled instead of fried and to replace the french fries with steamed vege's and it was a weird look from the server. We were at a seafood place and I wanted healthy scallops, is that so weird?

The weigh-ins with the trainer are keeping me focused and I really only made 1 bad food choice over the weekend. My treadmill has some virtual programs which take you on different paths and today I chose to do the Tahoe Rim path which is a 10 mile path. I love these options, as the treadmill adjusts the speed and incline according to the path. My 10 miles was a 2 hour and 40 minute walk averaging 3.8 miles per hour. I've tried a few others of them and it is a nice change up to a standard workout.

Now that I'm back in town, I'll make the time to catch up on journals this week.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Wow Diane, that was some walk on the treadmill. Good for you. Your treadmill sounds really nice! I hear you on southern cuisine. When I was in Texas, I came to the conclusion that it was probably a very good thing my parents moved us to Colorado in the 70's, otherwise I'd weigh even more! I love fried food, but think fried scallops are such a shame. They are so much better grilled!

Keep up the good work, you were accountable and making a huge effort on a business trip. If it wasn't perfect all the time it was because so much of it was out of your hands. And you are really on track with your working out (ten mile walks definitely imply you are on track!). I am proud of you. Sometimes when we go on vacatioin we never get back on track. Look how well you are doing and how quickly you came back and got back to your healthy habits. Well done!

 

[Goofydiane]

Thanks Amy. I am such a control freak that anything outside of what I can control causes me issues. I won't even go to a meal at my parents house because my mom will get upset when I don't eat her food that is cooked poorly.

Ahhhh, my contracted employee started today. While I'm not going to get much work done on my own for a while, he is smarter than the last one I had and asked questions on his first day! And he saw my Disney stuff and said that he enjoyed Disney....you can't go wrong with that!

Not sure if it was noticed, but the weight ticker moved over the weekend, from here on out, every time it moves is a new milestone for me. I can't remember the last time I was at the weight I am at now and only 4 pounds to go until Train the Trainer day....I get to make Tim do stuff he makes me do.

A friend at work bought me a box of the Peanut Butter Bliss bars from WW. I love them! I have 1 as a snack each night and it is just the right amount of sweet for me and I don't feel like I am craving the sweets after that. I also love grilling in the summer, I just wish I knew how to grill better. I can cook something simple, but I would love to learn how to grill better, but there is only me so I usually go for quick.

I've transitioned out of Kraft cheese and now am eating Goat cheddar cheese. It is really good and I am finding out that I eat less cheese - mainly because even though it is good, it is expensive. I really am getting to a good place and I just want to keep this good thing going for as long as possible.

Today's exercise was a 5 mile walk/run.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, I am a control freak too, except with food. Go figure. With food I'll eat any old thing. I can't let anyone clean my house, drive my car or take care of my kids, but hey, food someone else prepared is just fine by me! I think its great you are being cautious and not letting go of the control you have worked so hard to achieve.

If the new guy likes Disney, he is obviously very intelligent and on the ball. I hope it works out!

Great job on that ticker moving, I was pretty sure it had but wanted to wait to make sure! Keep up that good work, you are doing great.

And enjoy that good place you are in. I think you'll be there from now on!

 

[Goofydiane]

tired, tired, tired, I can explain how I feel in 3 short words and they are all the same. I forgot how tiring it is to train a new person, you have to be mentally engaged the whole entire day. the end result will be good, he has taken more notes in 2 days than the person I had last fall took in 4 months! I'm keeping positive thoughts for this to work.

Torture Tuesday was just that...torture. Tim had me do 2 sets of wind sprints, so instead of 3, we did 6. I really like how he trains me because he might say something a week or so ago and then while I process the challenge and make a suggestion about it, he knows then that I'm on board with it. He doesn't force anything on me. I got lucky with this one and I've told him if he ever thinks of quitting, he will be coming to my house to train me.

My neighbor and I went walking tonight as well. I am taking advantage of this good place that I'm in right now and milking it for all it is worth!

 

[DisDee]

Great job on the weight loss Diane, and all that exercise too! You are really committed and I admire that dedication! I'm with you on the grilling. Most of our experiments are just that-some good, some not so good. I'd really like to learn a method for grilling veggies, so if you come up with something, be sure to let us know.

Hope everything works out with your trainee. Just remember, all the time you spend with him now will pay off when he is able to work independently.

Enjoy your week!!!

 

[Goofydiane]

Crabby frustration has set in today. I got on the scale this morning to see how I am doing to my 1 lb goal this week. Surely with the food choices and exercise the scale would move....it did! It said I had gained 4 pounds in 4 days. I know logically that isn't possible, I mean that is 14,000 calories that I would have had to eat over and above what I eat and then work off and no way does following the Core Plan on WW add up to 14,000 additional calories. It just threw me for a loop this morning - I'm hoping there is just a lot of water retention going on in my system right now. I'd be pretty upset if I'm gaining weight and not enjoying and chocolate or ice cream as the cause!

I could have taken this and threw today out the window, but I came to work and had organic oatmeal. They gave out sample packs coming into work one day and I tried one today. It has flaxseed (?) in it and wasn't that bad. Lunch is fruits and veges (carrots, pineapple, banana and orange).

I'll be walking with a neighbor tonight as well as on the treadmill and hope for better numbers on Saturday when I weigh in with Tim.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Oh Diane, I hate it when the scale does that! It is probably water, its summer right now and I think we all retain more fluids when its hot. Just push the water, your food and exercise are so right on target right now and that makes is doubly frustrating I know. Good job hanging in there and not throwing in the towel via Dairy Queen and having oatmeal instead!

I am keeping fingers crossed for a happy weigh in on Saturday!

 

[Goofydiane]

I hate scales!!! Yesterday up 4 lbs and now I've lost 2.5 of them. Arghhhhh! Glad I didn't take my frustrations out on at DQ! I hate water retention!

 

[Goofydiane]

I stayed strong again today and just decided that I don't care what the scale says, I feel good and I'm in a good place and I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. When the humidity goes away I'll probably lose weight that week.

I remember from WW meetings they talk about who are enablers in your life, who are supporters and who are saboteurs, it is sad to say that both my parents are saboteurs with my weight loss struggles. My mom invited me to dinner and I said thank you but I right now I'm really focusing on controlling what I eat and not eating out or anywhere other than my house right now - that was on Sunday. I was talking to my dad tonight and he invited me out to dinner with them to go to a restaurant and I made the comment again about how right now I'm really focusing on controlling what I eat and getting from learning to lifestyle change and I'm not eating out if I don't need to. He said well, we could go somewher you wanted to go and I asked, how come seeing me needs to involve food? Why can't you just ask to talk a walk around a lake or something and he had no response. Both my parents are heavy and I am starting to wonder why they keep inviting me to eat and they don't understand that I'm just not at that place yet. I know I will be one day, but it isn't today and it isn't going to be tomorrow. I know it isn't exactly like this, but I feel it's like asking an alcoholic to meet you at a bar. Don't put someone you love in a situation where they may struggle and fall backwards in a way they don't want to fall.

Tonight was a good night, even though I was tired and my walking friends are on vacation, I still did my 5 miles on the treadmill, I'm going to have to kick it up to the next level, I'm getting bored at this level so it must be time for a change. I can only continue in my routine and if the weight comes off, it comes off, if it doesn't come off at least it is transitioning from fat to muscle so I'm losing size.

My boss told me once I get my new person trained, I can go back to telecommuting on Friday's! I thought those days would be over, but he gets that there are days that I just need to be out of the office to get development work or programming completed.

Amy - you will appreciate this since you are in CO. I got a summons from the state calling me to jury duty the week of August 4th. I haven't lived in the state for 5 years and they mailed it directly to my house in MN, but they are telling me I will be in contempt if I don't show cause on why I should be excused! I'm a registered voter in MN and yet CO still wants me at jury duty...how funny is that?

 

[Goofydiane]

Weighed in this morning and took a picture of the weight to show Tim that I made the 1lb! In fact after a topsy turvy week on the scale, I ended up losing 1.5 lbs....this was a tough week with the number at mid week and I am proud of myself that I stayed with my food plan and didn't take a setback on the scale at mid-week and decide to blow it for the whole week. I'm not weighing in with Tim until our session mid-afternoon and by then you never know with a scale, that 1lb might be back, so the picture is the proof I need. I'm also frustratingly honest when it comes to workouts and weights and he knows if I didn't make it, I would tell him that as well.

Yesterday's session with him was a bit frustrating for me because I was so concerned about what the scale was going to say today. I was whining that I shouldn't be penalized if I do everything right in following the Core Plan and that the scale doesn't cooperate so while I gave the workout, I didn't feel I gave it my best shot and now with the number gone, I can't wait to go in today and just kick out a great session.

My plans for the weekend is work. With a new person, I'm behind on some of the projects I'm working on and I'll have to get caught up this weekend. I know that is one of the downsides of getting a new person and I'm ok with that for a few weeks. Once he is trained, I'll start telecommuting on Friday's again, which I enjoy. I'm also going to watch a couple movies while I walk on the treadmill to get workouts in.

Amy and Denise, thanks for all your words of encouragement, they keep me going with steps forward when I want to take steps backward.

 

[Goofydiane]

It's been a busy few days...the workout on Saturday was great. The phone worked because by the time I weighed in there I had been up 6 hours and of course water weight was involved. The scales at the club are terrible, it says I weigh 9 lbs more than my scale does, but it was still down the same amount from the last time we weighed in so we use my scale as the official one.

Food wasn't that good, but not as bad as it could have been. I got a 'de-lite' pizza from Papa Murphy's and cooked it on the grill instead of the oven. It would have been really good if I hadn't overcooked it. Made it easier to only have a couple of pieces before I threw the whole thing away!

Workouts are going well, I did 10.5 miles on Sunday and last night I'm not sure why, but I did just over 9 miles. I'm going to pay for that tonight when Tim tortures me.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Diane, I hear you on the frustration of wanting to not eat out and also on having family members who seem to almost work against you, not for you. It is frustrating, but it sounds like your dad is at least trying. Can you offer to come over and see them and either bring dinner that you make or pick out or just show up for a glass of ice tea and a chat? Frankly, they are old and I doubt they will change. So it will be up to you in the end to sort of reinvent the wheel. Its not easy, I know with my stepdad I go over and he has house full of junk and candy and he just keeps offering it to me and I want to slap him. But in the end, I know his counterproductive efforts aren't meant to hurt me and he probably doesn't even realize what he is doing. My mom was the same way. It is so frustrating! I admire you for being strong, its not easy. But I hope you can find a way to control the situation that lets you stay true to you and your goals and yet still spend time with your parents. Its not easy I know.

The Delite pizzas are very tasty. But they do tend to overcook very quickly! It really does help satisfy the pizza craving without so much dough involved!

I hope your weekend of work at least accomplishes getting you caught up.

And congrats on that 1.5 pound weight loss! The scale and water retention both played havoc with you, but in the end you stood firm and it paid off. That is what being successful on this journey is all about. Just hanging in there even when you don't think you can and you feel like its not even working or worth it. So that is really an accomplishment on your part. You are doing so well!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Diane, I am heading to lovely Nebraska for a few days so I won't be around. Keep up that great work you are doing, I'll see you when I get back!

 

[Goofydiane]

wow...where does the time go. I have good intentions to stop by and jot notes on a regular basis and before I know it a week has gone by. Between training my new person - who may turn out to be smarter than I am - dealing with month end, quarter end and mid year, there just isn't enough hours in the day.

I'm staying strong with the short term goals of 1 lb per week. I'm on track to be 2 lbs lighter when I weigh in on Saturday. I like the every other week weigh ins, it keeps me on plan all the time. I can't believe that going through this plan, I've lost 11 lbs in the last 10 weeks. I'm lower in weight than I remember, especially before I started my current job and that was over 10 years ago. For me it is all about small wins; today we had a pot luck at work and I made what our department calls my 'famous' meat and cheese dip, or more appropriately as I call it 'Heart Attack in a crock pot' and I didn't have any. I brought my lunch from home so I wouldn't be tempted with the choices of the pot luck and I enjoyed it just as much, if not more. I think I'm finally starting to work through the non-physical parts of a healthy lifestyle.

It isn't always going to be this way, but as long as I can keep the struggles to shorter time periods than the successes, I'm going to be happy.

I was walking on the treadmill last night while watching Legally Blond and there is that part where Elle notes that the wife couldn't be the killer because exercise creates endorphines and endorphines make you happy and happy people just don't kill people. I got thinking about that and have realized that I am a much happier person when I get my exercise in daily, and the stress of my job is much less. If this isn't a reason to exercise daily, I'm not sure what is. This part of the movie really hit home with me and made me realize that I'm not just working on what people see on the outside, I'm also making progress on what people see from the inside. Who knew that such fluff could have such an impact.

I also need to get back to the things I'm proud of recaps for myself.
1. I skipped my dip and the other poor food choices at our pot luck and still had a great time.
2. In addition to physical improvements, I'm making emotional ones as well.

 

[Goofydiane]

This lifestyle change is finally working and I think my body finally caught up. Lost 5 lbs in the past 2 weeks and I'm finally below a number that has always been a big wall for me to get past. I don't remember the last time I was on that side of the number and it's now time for Train the Trainer day! Tim has to do what I say for an hour - all those things I really don't like to do, he is going to be doing. The sad thing is, now that I have to plan it, I can't think of anything. How sad is that?

5 more lbs and I am celebrating with a massage!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, I am so proud that you lost five pounds in two weeks! That is a major accomplishment. And resisting your dip is also a huge milestone. I think I know what dip you are talking about (is Velveeta the key ingredient?). You are so dedicated, I want to be like you when I grow up!

Anything new on the situation with your parents? I thought of you when we met my stepdad at the pool, I told him I would bring the lunch and I did. Problem was that he showed up with about five pounds of peanut M & M's! Its funny now but I am telling you, at the time I felt really angry. But I didnt' eat any so that was good.

Keep up that good work, your goal is ever closeer! Its funny how sometimes our inspiration comes from interesting sources! Maybe I need to rewatch Legally Blonde!

 

[Goofydiane]

Thanks Amy! I'm feeling myself getting into a good groove right now and the struggle is going to be to keep the groove going and resist temptation.

I'm an Olympic junkie! I can't believe how much of the Olympic's I'm watching and I'm getting very little sleep. Anyone else like that? The good part of this is that I do a lot more walking on the treadmill but I'm not getting much else done. I'm glad they are actually showing events that I enjoy watching and that boxing has its very own channel and I don't have to watch it.

I've struggled with some hip pain this week, which unfortunately was caused by being an Olympic Junkie. Last Sunday I was watching the events on TV and just kept walking on the treadmill doing a few different programs. When I added it all up, I walked for almost 15 miles at an average of 4.5 mph. YIKES! That is way too much walking at that average speed. Took the hip a few days to recover, but it is feeling much better now.

I struggled at work this week, it just seemed like everyone wanted something from me and they all wanted it at the same time. It lead to some frustrations and a few poor food choices during the week, but I'm geting myself back on track. The walking helps ease the pain of my poor food choices.

Tim and I had train the trainer yesterday. That was my reward for reaching a weigh-in milestone. I always see in him long pant and long sleeve warm-up outfit and I've got to tell you...he is ripped! You can't see all that under his warm-up suit, but wow, he has got some arms on him. This was a great experience as I saw him do things that he has me do and he struggled with some of them and others made me see where I can go if I keep working at it. We did wind sprints and I was impressed with myself a few weeks ago when I did sprints at 9.0 and a 4.0 incline. Well, we were doing sprints at 8.0 inclines and I was blown away when he was running at an 11.0 speed and an 8.0 incline. Definately gave me something to work towards, he brought out that competitive spirit I have within me. I did 4 sprints yesterday instead of the normal 3 and made the last one a higher speed than I've done at that incline before. We are going to do this every 25 lbs and I like that as it keeps me working forward.

I joined a volleyball team with some neighbors. I love playing volleyball so that will be fun, but it is a league at a bar so even though I'm not a drinker, those appetizers will be tough to resist. Our first game is tomorrow night.

I hope to get back into journaling more than I have been in August. I have been missing this.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, that is great you got to train the trainer! It sounds like Tim is fun to watch in more ways than one.

That is wonderful you joined the volleyball team. Try chewing gum when you go into the bar, that has been known to work for me at times like that. Just remember to look at it as a way to exercise and be social, not about the food. Easier said than done. I think you will do great, as you say, you are in a groove!

I am an Olympic junkie too. But I watch from the couch, not the treadmill! That is incredible that you walked 15 miles at that rate. Frankly, I'd be dead.


Keep up the good work and journal when you can!

 

[Goofydiane]

it's been a while, but that doesn't mean that I've abandoned the journey, it is still going strong, I just don't have many words to say right now.

Every so often I get into these dolldrums of seeing all the families doing summer events together and it reminds me that I don't have that. I understand that it is due to the choices I made earlier in life, but ever now and then you want what is on the other side of the fence...what is that saying - the grass is always greener? I enjoy my life and my friends, but the end of summer in Minnesota has the State Fair, the Rennisance Festival and other events that you want to go to with people and all my friends are getting their kids ready for school or heading out for one last trip to the lake and I just won't go to those places alone. Strange that I will go to Disney World on vacation alone, but won't go to the state fair for a day by myself.

I've been filling my time with working out or just relaxing. We've got a neighborhood volleyball team that plays on Monday nights and I'm enjoying that. It is a different type of exercise as it is played in the sand and gives your legs a good workout. We aren't any good, but I'm playing because I love the game and it gets me out with other people.

Hopefully with the long weekend, I'll get some stuff done around the house and start feeling better about everything.

I did update my ticker though - even with everything going on internally, I am maintaining healthy choices. I think the fear of having to detox again if I don't stay on plan is just what I needed to make this work.