Getting help is SOOOO easy - the HARD part is in "allowing" yourself to do so!
I'm sure you read my posts here a few weeks ago - when my DD was hospitalized for severe depression.. She has been fighting depression on and off for years and for many reasons (what would "people" say; a husband and in-law's that saw depression as nothing more than weakness of character; embarrassment; a sense of failure; etc.) she kept putting off truly dealing with it until she hit rock bottom - pretty much where you are right now.. It took TREMENDOUS courage on her part to take that huge step and agree to be hospitalized, but she knew in her heart that there would be a tragic ending to her depression if she didn't.. She spent 7 days in the hospital and sees both a pscyhiatrist and a therapist once a week - in addition to taking an antidepressant.. Now she's literally KICKING herself for not having done this a long, LONG time ago! She feels much, MUCH better and is now moving forward with her life - rather than treading water and trying to struggle back up every time she goes "under"...
I had my own bout of severe depression a number of years ago when my DH's cancer returned and we learned there was nothing more that could be done for him.. Not only could I not get out of bed, but I couldn't leave the house unless I absolutely had to (and then someone else had to drive me); I couldn't make the simplest decision - such as should I have milk or orange juice; and I was FURIOUS with the people on t.v. because they felt "good" and "normal" and "happy" and I didn't! Eventually I realized that I just couldn't go on like that and I made an appointment with my regular doctor.. I told her what was going on and she took it from there.. Set me up with a counselor, got me started on an antidepressant (in my case it was Prozac) and in a few months I was back to my old self again..
I have to say - with ALL that you have been through I think it would be "abnormal" if you DIDN'T eventually suffer from depression!
Just go to your doctor and explain everything JUST as you have here and the doctor will take it from there..
There is NO shame in getting help.. The shame is in NOT getting help when you know you need it.. There's NO reason to suffer like this.. You are entitled to be happy and content - just like everyone else..
PLEASE don't put this off.. See your doctor.. You'll be glad you did!
I'll be praying for you - Garrett - and the rest of your family.. It's going to be okay - I promise.. You just need to take that BIG step!
