DD's BF committed suicide last night, Memorial Service UPDATE #190

[minniecarousel]

Extra {{{{{HUGS}}}} for your DD.

Hang in there.

 

[Deb in IA]

I am very sorry for all involved.

The boy's parents are no doubt grieving and not entirely rational at the moment. Hopefully, in time, they will see that it was HIS decision to end his life.

In the meantime, I agree that your daughter needs grief and survivor's counseling.

 

[dizneenut]

Oh my. How tragic. Prayers for all involved.

 

[tar heel]

That is just awful for both the boy's family and yours. I'm so glad you're getting her to a counselor immediately.

I don't understand why his mother was calling you yesterday, though. Was the boy making threats and she was trying to bring DD back into it or something? Do you have any reason to question her stability?

 

[pixie dust 112]

 

[Ava83]

Everyone is in my prayers.

 

[horseshowmom]

More sympathy here. Others have already said what I would have said, so I'll just leave it with my prayers for both families.

 

[minnieandmickeymouse]

 

[solferino]

 

[Doesney]

I'm so sorry. How horrible for all involved. Many prayers.

 

[Ride Junkie]

Your poor DD. I'm just glad that she doesn't have to live in fear of being followed by him anymore. I hope she will be ok & not feel guilty about what he did.

 

[4nana]

I am so very sorry for this terrible heartbreaking tragedy, also that your poor DD and both families must grieve through . So sad and thankfully your dear daughter saw the light before this trouble young man could have possible hurt them both. I can only imagine her pain and hope the counseling can offer her some peace. Sending hugs and prayers that she and both your familes will be granted faith, strength and peace through these difficult days. Godspeed all involved and may God rest his troubled soul.

 

[ducklite]

The boys mother does blame my DD. Even though she didn't say it this last time when she called with this horrible news, she did imply it several times on the phone earlier yesterday. She was very bitter yesterday and to have it end like this is horrible. I am scared right now and watching for cars because I'm frighten of this mothers grief. At the sanme time my heart breaks for her.

It is NOT your daughters fault. She didn't kill him, he killed himself.

I urge you to get counseling for your daughter, and it might be a good idea to keep her away from the BF's parents for awhile, They are going through the various stages of grief, and anger is one of them.

If you are truly scared of the mother, I'd call the police and ask them to increase patrols in your area.

I'm so sorry that both families are dealing with this tragedy.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I'm so sorry that this happened. My thoughts and prayers go out to both of your families, and especially to your dd. This was not her fault in the least, though it would still be natural for her to feel some associated guilt, and of course some of his friends and family may be so grief-stricken that they will lash out at her and blame her.

Your description of him following her and circling the girls in the parking lot was very scary. As horrible as the suicide is, I hope that your family can take some small bit of comfort in the fact that he did not try to take her with him.

 

[GraysMom]

 

[chris1gill]

I am very sorry for this mother's loss, but this is not your Daughter's fault in any way shape or form. He did this, in part to make her feel the guilt of what she had done. What she should realize is that she got out of what could have been an even more tragic scenario.

I know this must be extraordinarily hard, but she did the right thing, she was not responsible for the actions he chose to take. What he did was selfish and I'm sure he knew that at the time.... I'm not cold hearted, don't get me wrong, it's tragic, but your daughter played no role in this action.

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

I didn't read beyond the 1st post, so I don't know if you have updated.

I just wanted to say that it is EXTREMELY important that the school notify ALL parents as to what happened and suicide warning signs and have counselors available to students even during the break.

When I was a sophmore there was a suicide just before Christmas, and the school decided not to do anything so as not to disrupt the happiness of the holidays for the other students and families. There were 3 copy cat suicides over Christmas break. All kids went to my school but none of them were connected to each other. I, by some wierd coincidence knew all of them. One was a a good friend whose parents were in a custody battle, another a partner in my drama class, one the brother of a good friend, and the first was my sisters ex boyfriend. The whole atmosphere of the town changed that year (1994).

My prayers are with your dd, your family and the boys family. I strongly recommend grief counseling so that she can work through her emotions and know without a doubt this is NOT her fault. One of things I remember most about that horrible year is my mom just holding me without saying a word while I cried. Just be there for her as much as she'll let you.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

My ex-BF tried something very similar when I started dating DH. I ended up calling the police on him and having him committed and placed on suicide watch. He's still trying to get me back (circa 8 years later), but at least he's alive to be annoying. My heart goes out to the OP's daughter.

 

[Muffy]

Thank you everyone for all the support and concern showed to my family in this thread. We are all pulling together to get through this. DD did speak with a counselor earlier today and the school has been notified. I am truly struck by the many families here that have experienced this. It is a horrible thing to go through and my heart goes out to each one of you that has been through this.

Today we spoke to the trooper that found the boy. It is such a sad desperate final act. I pray that he rest in peace.

 

[Liberty Belle]

How tragic. I'm sorry. My condolences to you, your DD, and her ex-BF's family. I pray your daughter will be strong.